Hey! Hope you like this story to! Enjoy! And thanx to my best friend Rose, for helping and supporting me! You ROCK!

Written by Seth and Emmett…..

Emmett: Hey! We are back! Okay, we are going on with the stupid mind reader, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen.

Seth: Wow, is that his full name?

Emmett: Yeah, want to hear mine?

Seth: Sure…..

Emmett: Emmett Dale McCartney Cullen.

Seth: Wow, mine is Seth Clearwater.

Emmett: Wow, that's a long name!

Seth: um, okay…

Seth: Anywho, We're going on with Edwards list.

Emmett: Tell him he needs a new style, and make sure you say it very loudly.

Seth: why?

Emmett: Because then Alice will hear, and she never pass up a chance to give someone a make over. And of course Edward will refuse, but then she'll give him the puppy dog eyes, but it wont work, and then she'll let the evil come out of her, and trust me you really don't want that! So then Edward will have to say yes or else….I'll rather not tell, it's not pretty. Anyway, last time she gave Carlisle a make over and he couldn't show his face in public for a full 2 weeks.

Seth: Poor Carlisle.

Emmett: Yeah…Okay, on with the list! Every time Bella comes to visit him at our house and he asks her do you want something to eat, say you'll make her something, and make her kidney or liver. Say its the catch of the day

Emmett: Tell Bella all his embarrassing moments, that most of them I caused, he he.

Emmett: Ask him "what ya doing" the hole time, and when he says "stop it" or something else that means he wants you to stop, and repeat the question in your head.

Seth: Talk about Jacob in a good way in front of him.

Emmett: Tell Bella how he killed a human once, and tell it in detail. Poor Bella…

Seth: When Edward goes to Bella's at night, go visit Bella to, then they'll never get there alone time.

Emmett: yeah that's a good one. *hi 5's Seth*

Emmett: Replace all he's shoes with sandals.

Emmett: Destroy there meadow! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

Seth: When he's talking to Jacob, and your with them, sing theme music that fits the moment in your head.

Emmett: Break his car! He loves cars! So just break it!

Seth: Let's make a list about the blond.

Emmett: Who? Rose…..okay, I have lots of things we can write about her. *Rubs hands evilly*

Seth: Okay, this is a list about the crazy blond…

Emmett: My wife, Rosalie!

Emmett: Take all her mirrors, and tie it to rocks, and then throw it to the bottom of the river.

Seth: Make blond jokes, when you're around her.

Emmett: Call her Rose butt in front of everyone at school.

Emmett: Stand on the table in the cafeteria, and sing ABBA song to her, and make it dramatic.

Emmett: When you want to do something romantic for her, take her to a restaurant, all restaurants foods is so disgusting! O wait, she's my wife! So I'll kil you if you even look at her! *calms down* he he sorry….

Seth: Come and visit a lot.

Emmett: When she's mad, she usely cooks for no one, so when she cooks do this "Ahhhh the stove is alive!" Pick her up and put her in the mud and tell her "don't worry it's allergic to mud".

Emmett: Break al her high heals! Warning, you may be dead for few minutes after she found out it was you.

Emmett: Iron her clothes with her straightener.

Emmett: Dry her clothes by using her hair dryer.

Emmett: Crash her car! And run!

Emmett: When the roof is down, lift your hand up, and it will punch a hole in the roof. And run!

Emmett: Throw her clothes into the mud, Make sure you know what your doing, he he

Emmett: Start a food fight in the school cafeteria…poor guys.

Seth: Why "poor guys?"

Emmett: Because the people that throws Rosalie with food will get human food in her hair and on her clothes….

Seth: O, poor guys..

Emmett: Moment of silence for them.

*silence*

Emmett: Sign her up for cheerleading.

Seth: Why?

Emmett: She hates to be all smiley and friendly, and I get to see her it that sweet outfit…

Seth: *Rolls eyes*

Emmett: Leave her in the same room as Bella, which would piss her off.

Emmett: Ask her to a movie, and then talk threw the movie! When it's a Romance, act like your crying and shout NO! don't leave her! Idiot! And al that emotional stuff! If it's a Comedy, don't ever stop laughing, and point to the screen now and then while laughing, o and make sure al the people in the movie can hear you. If it's a horror, scream like a little girl and run around in circles in front of the screen, and scream "DON'T GO IN THERE! YOU IDIOT! YOU WENT IN THERE! WHY! WHY!" if there is a scene like that in the movie, o and clutch on to her like a little kid.

Emmett: Tell her "is that you face, or did your throat throw up?" But trust me think more than twice before you tell her that.

Emmett: Chase her around with a lighter.

Seth: If you're a wolf throw your socks in her closet, make sure the socks reek of wolf.

Emmett: Once for our honeymoon, I rented a taxi to take us to our hotel, the school bathroom.

Seth: Really *holds laugh in*

Emmett: Yeah I thought it was romantic…

Seth: *Bursts out in very loud laughter and is rolling on floor*

Emmett: What?

Seth: You *gasp* need *gasp* some *gasp* romantic advice, bro! *Bursts out into laughter again*

Emmett: *folds hands and frowns at Seth*

Seth: *Still laughing uncontrollable*

Emmett: *Still frowning at Seth*

Seth: *stop laughing* Okay, I think I'm done. *Can't help it but to think about it again, and bursts out in laughter*

Emmett: It's not funny…. *frowns*

Seth: *stops laughing* O yes it is! *starts laughing again*

Emmett: *Still frowning and standing there with his arms folded*

Seth: *Between laughs* I can just picture the blonds face, when she founded out her honeymoon is in her school bathroom! *laughs*

Emmett: *still frowning*

Seth: Okay, Okay, I'm done laughing *takes deep breaths to calm down*

Emmett: Thank you….

Seth: Pleasure, he he.

Emmett: Let's make a list about someone else.

Seth: Okay, who?

Emmett: um…I don't know, want to go play X-box and come back later?

Seth: Sure! *They go down stairs to play X-box*

*Edward told Rosalie that Emmett and Seth made lists of them and now wants revenge*

Rosalie: *Sees them down stairs and goes to Emmett's study to type a little something of her own*

Rosalie: *Mumbles to self*think they can just type a list about me! And put it on the internet! Ugh!

This is a list of what I would like to do to my stupid, idiot of a husband! Emmett!

Written by Rosalie…

Firstly I would like to* in a nice voice* KILL HIM!

Bang his head on a bed of nails!

Feed him human food! O and I will force it down his throat!

DIE!

IDIOT!

But I probably wont hurt him that bad, but trust me I will get him for this!

Now for that stupid, smelly DOG! This is a list of what I would very like to do to him! But of course I can't because of the stupid treaty!

Written by Rosalie…..

Ripe his head off!

And feed it to the sharks!

Break his arms off!

And feed it to the lions! In Africa!

Break his legs off!

And feed it to the Tigers!

Now what to do with the rest of him, mmmm….

Okay, I'll have mercy with the rest of him, I'll throw it in to the coldest, darkest, deepest part of the ocean!

Now that I got that out of my system, I'm going to relax, by doing my hair. *walks to her room, leaving the laptop*

Edward: Hey, well since Rosalie typed something, why not me to….but I think I'll get my revenge in another way, you just have to wait and see. *Rubs hands evilly together*

*Find out what Edward will do to get his revenge about the list, when the story continues. So PLEASE! PLEASE! REVIEW! I really would like to know what you think, so review! Or else Rosalie will find you...*