Back in the forest, the Goomba that Mario had kicked groggily opened his eyes. It only took him a second to realize that he was again an Atomic Boo, having landed back in the range of Kamek's spell.

"Stupid plumber," he muttered to himself. He looked up at the other monsters, who were putting themselves back together.

"Me not sure how," said the Whomp, "but me in one piece again."

"Probably Whomp secret," said the Blargg. "I not sure why I talk this way with bad English or italic letters."

"Yeah," said the Whomp, "me not Whomp for too long yet."

Bouldergeist simply growled.

"Apparently, I'm the only one who can really talk around here," said the Atomic Boo. "I say if Mario ever comes back in here, we really let him have it!"

The others roared in agreement. From within the darkness of the forest, terrifying noises of other creatures were heard as well.

...

Whistling a cheerful tune (that a Disney fan might be able to identify as "With a Smile and a Song"), Mario dragged Peach (who was still in a comatose state) over to a warp pipe and tossed her in with a note pinned to her dress.

"I'm sure the kids will take care of her," Mario assured the Toads. "Look, I've gotta run! I hear the Shyguy Army is attacking at full force over on the island! Would you guys go make sure things work out with Peach and the kids? Thanks!"

Grabbing a feather, Mario transformed into his cape form and flew off into the sky.

"I'm not going in there!" cried Toad.

"But Master Toad," protested Toadsworth, "you have the most experience with those children. After all, you had some sort of Muppet-inspired adventure with them, did you not?"

"Yeah, we're kinda friends," said Toad, "but they never talk to me any more! You don't exploit a mushroom and then never say a word to him! I can't go back. It would just hurt too much."

Wooster peered into the pipe. "Er, are any of the children hostile?"

"Some of them," Toad nodded.

The three mushrooms looked at the pipe, then each other, then back at the pipe.

"She'll be fine..." Toadsworth said quietly.

Quickly, the trio of fungus scurried back to the castle.

...

Peach woke up on the floor of a room of some sort. The first thing she noticed was that it was empty. Looking around her, she saw that she was in a very plain room of what appeared to be a public building of some sort. There was a small bookshelf next to her. A few tables (and many chairs) lined three of the walls. A pile of backpacks sat in the corner, and there was a closet across from her.

In other words, she was in the main room of the camp, located in a rec center of some campus. Hooray!

Peach stood up, dusted herself off (the floors weren't exactly clean), and looked at the note pinned to her skirt.

Dear Kids,

Please look over Princess Peach while Luigi and I are away. I love her dearly, but you 've played my games before and know that she is quite prone to being kidnaped. I am only writing this note in case she is still unconscious when you find her. Peach, if you're reading this, I am really, really, really, really, really sorry. I would add more "really's" to emphasize how sorry I am, but the Yoshis need me!

Love,

Mario

Peach threw the note on the ground and growled. Looking around the empty room, she wondered where the kids were.

Peach had never been very close with any of the kids. While Mario had been on an adventure with a boy and his tiger once long ago, the meetings between the Nintendo "good guys" and the kids had been largely fleeting. Mostly, she had heard Bowser's rants while she was captured or something like that. Somehow, these kids had time and time again defeated the King of the Koopas, and he was not happy about it.

"So here I am," she said to herself. "Mario has entrusted my life to a group of children I hardly know...am I really that helpless?"

A green head poked out of a backpack. Peach gasped and backed up, worrying that Koopa had followed her. Instead, it was simply Jason's pet iguana, Quincy.

"Maybe I am really losing it," Peach sighed, picking Quincy up. "Here I am, losing my cool at the smallest of reptiles."

(To the tune of "Whistle While You Work" from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves)

Peach: Do I deserve all this?

To be portrayed as weak and frayed

And overall helpless?

Am I really a joke?

I guess it's true, cause through and through

Things always are amiss

Whenever Bowser comes

I always play it dumb

I knew that Mario would save me

From those slimy, nasty bums

"But where has it gotten me, huh?" she asked Quincy, stopping her song for a second. The reptile stared blankly at her. With a shrug, Peach continued singing.

I should relax but I must ask

Do I deserve all this?


I cut "With a Smile and a Song" because I really just don't like it. I found the song to be obnoxious and I think that this story works better without it.