Thank you all for the lovely reviews, sorry life has been hectic, so have only got round to writing this chapter!

Once she was home Jac shut herself in her dark bedroom, wishing the darkness could help her forget what had happened today. It took only a few minutes for her to be sleeping, however though her face looked peaceful, her mind certainly wasn't.

She dreamt she was 17 again and standing by the open window of the maternity ward. In her arms she held her newborn baby, its pale complexion a mirror to her own and its fingers wrapped around Jac's loose strands of hair. Softly the baby cried, trying to gain her mother's attention, coldly Jac ignored her, staring fiercely into the hospital car. "Jackie..." a young sympathetic nurse tapped the 17 year old Jac on her shoulder. "Jessica's crying, why not give her the bottle?" the nurse held out a translucent bottle, full of pearly milk. "You do it." Jac replied handing the crying baby in the nurse's arms. "I can't look after her. Anyway they're coming for her soon." "Aha, well" the nurse cradled Jessica in her arms, all the staff were aware of Jac's position, the fact she would soon be giving her baby up. "I'm sure being with her for a bit won't do any harm..." "They wouldn't let me." Jac scowled "Anyway... it doesn't matter... everyone leaves in the end." "Now Jackie...this baby needs her mum, maybe not forever, but right now she needs you, you've just given birth to her." "Fine..." Jac picked Jessica up and gingerly supported her in her arms. "Why don't I take a picture, hey? Of Jackie and Jessica!" without waiting for a reply the nurse scuttled down the corridor leaving Jac to sooth the crying baby. After a few minutes the nurse reappeared cradling a large camera. "Smile Jackie!" She said as the flash caused Jac to blink. "Ah, shame" the nurse thrust the picture at Jac "better take a new one!" she giggled, pressing the button. After a few tries she got the perfect one shot, as it slid out she pulled a pen from her pocket and wrote carefully Jackie and baby Jessica – two days old – 1994 "here" the nurse placed the picture on Jac's desk.

Slowly Jac peeled opened her eyes, it was late morning. She shook her head slowly, her mind still in the world of memories. All she could see was the crisp new photo lying on the crumpled bedspread. She wanted the picture. She wanted it so badly.

Wrapping the duvet around herself Jac ventured from her bed, over to the wardrobe. There she stood on tiptoes, reaching for the top shelve. Grasping with her fingers she pulled down an old shoebox. Carrying it over to the bed she placed it carefully on the mattress and opened the lid. Inside were so many memories, dating right back to when she started this box, with her mother when she was nine. The box itself was still covered in ripped and faded green tissue paper, and on top of it were stuck plastic jewels spelling out a wonky JACKIE. Inside her fingers brushed past collections of her life. At the top of the box lay a postcard from Joseph and a picture of Harry, the writing on the postcard was smudged from tears and the photo was crumpled. Below that lay her wrist bands from her various stays in hospital, and the card from her mother, torn and still vaguely damp. Below that were various items, school reports, her medical degree, a picture of her and Joseph, and a similar one of her and Lord Byrne. As her hands got closer to the bottom they brushed against items of her childhood, a book "The Outsiders", now yellow and frail, a smooth stone, a rare photo of her and her mother, one of the first items to have been put in the box, a picture of her and her grandfather, his frail frame lent against hers. Finally she felt what she was looking for.

The photo was yellowing and bent, but the picture was still legible; a frail willowy girl leant against the frame of a window, she held a baby in her arms, which were almost as thin as the child's. The baby's face held a look of content, but the crimson rings around her eyes gave away the fact she'd been crying. The mother's eyes too were ringed with scarlet, and the flash had caught a runaway tear. Jac cradled the photo in her arms, biting her lip she pulled up her knees, and rocked slowly to and fro, tears falling down her cheeks. It was only the ring of her mobile that brought her from her daze. Reaching an arm up to her bedside table she scrambled for her mobile "Hello?" Jac whispered "Ms Naylor" Hanssen replied in his monotone "You are over two hours late to work." "Oh" Jac gasped, she had hardly ever been late "Are you going to come in today? Or shall I ask Ms Shah to take over your theatre list?" "I'm... I'm..." Jac racked her brains for something to say, she didn't want to go in, to face Sahira, or Chrissie, but then she didn't want Sahira to get her list. "I'm not coming in..." "Are you ill?" "Mmmhmm" Jac murmured "Well, I want you back by Tuesday." Jac nodded and put down the phone. Sighing she looked down at the crumbled picture in her hand. She couldn't leave Jessica... she couldn't leave her again.