Life is never easy. If you don't believe me, just ask Ragna. That is why sometimes, people need help. And that's what I'm here for. Today, I want to give you advice on how to recognize spam. You know I have a problem with spam in my inbox, but also, I know it when I see it. Of course, you should have a spam filter, but if not, here's a few things to watch out for. One, misspellings. If you get a message with spelling like this:

"W3 C4N M4K3 UR P1NG45 B1GG3R 4 L355 TH4N 6 W00L0NG5"

Then that's definitely spam, and should be erased on sight. However, some spammers are smarter than the average Kaka, and have developed ways to bypass your filter. Look at the name of the sender, then check to see if the sender's name is real. Nothing raises a red flag like a guy named Clayton McDerpiderp. Also check to make sure they aren't using names of famous people; would you believe if Warren Beatty sent you an email saying he could get you tickets to some local event for a bargain price? Yeah, didn't think so, either. Also, keep in mind, even if you have a filter, they aren't foolproof. Sometimes, it'll pick up a legitimate email, and not something like a deposed royal saying he can share his immense wealth with you. Check the senders and titles of everything before reading it.

And with that out of the way, let's move on to the only section that people care about, The Kokonoe Responds Omake! (Let's forget the yay this time.)

"Dear Morally Ambiguous Catgirl of SCIENCE!

Yo, since you aren't that prissy loli tsundere vampire, I can relax on my language."

Indeed. I especially love how you mix Japanese words into your English text like it was nothing. No, I'm not being sarcastic.

"Writing for that demanding spoiled bratty princess was demanding. At least with you, I don't have to act like some stuck-up ass-kisser."

I know! Now I'm positive I'm not seen as a ripoff of Ask Rachel Alucard! People aren't afraid to speak their minds! And neither am I.

"Onto the next questions.

Do you have Freudian-related repressed emotions? Given that you tried/is trying/will try make a Rocket GIGANTIC TAGER, normally that would mean something."

Some of that is from gag scenes, you know, non-canonical scenes that make Rachel go insane? Yeah, I don't like them either. They distill our essence as fleshed-out characters and reduce us to our most basic personality traits. (Damn, that was unusually erudite of me . . . that Rabbit's not rubbing off on me, is she?) When writers use serious (or semi-serious) characters in a purely humorous scene, things like character growth and complexity usually get chucked out the window in favor of lulz. (Yeah, I know internet slang. Deal with it.)

And again, I must mention Freud, even though most of his theories were complete and utter bantha fodder. (Makoto made me print that last one, blame her, not me.) Yes, some people are pathologically obsessed with anything and everything associated with the act of reproduction. In fact, that was even a punchline in a tv show from the 1990s; someone says something that can be considered a double entendre, and some teenaged jackass responds, "Uh huh huh huh huh! You said 'wood'!" But my point is, not everyone is obsessed with things tangentially related to sex, myself included. I mean, do you know how much my work would suffer if I did obsess over that form of intercourse? Regardless, what else did you say?

"That or I'm just person who's mentally imbalanced who needs to see a therapist."

Most definitely. No, I'm not saying that about you specifically, it's rather that everyone at one point can use some mental therapy. People aren't perfect, and neither is our mental condition. Speaking of which, I should remember to do that sometime.

"Why do you wear what you wear? Given the perverse mentally of most, if not all male of our time, they'd be lusting over you. Heck, even I do (which separates me from them, since 1. I admit I am a pervert, and 2. I spare girls my mind unless they won't be offended)"

Let's see . . . you misspelled "mentality", you remind me that males of your time, just like mine, are pervs, you admit to being a pervert (so what's in your porn stash?), and, in Madam Rachel's Infallible Words, "At least you have the common decency to keep such thoughts a private manner, thus sparing us all of your . . . your proclivities." I like you a lot more already! As for what you said, I wear what I wanna wear. I know that the sight of a woman's navel drives some men mad with lust, and as such, I can keep such pervs off guard. And if I don't, if my appearance only drives them to make a move on me? Well, why do you suppose I keep Tager and the Murakumo units on such a short leash? As well as Hakumen on occasion? Yeah, I love screwing with people in that way.

"And the lastly, a mundane question. What's your favorite lolipop flavor? Mine's strawberry by the way. - C.R.V. Reyes, wandering in life."

Strawberry's a good flavor, yeah, but I prefer cherry flavoring. Nothing beats the classics!

So that's my entry. But before I go, I'm gonna print a troll comment directed at a good friend of mine: DRACULA IS A HUMONGOUS FAGGOT! Go ahead and cry some more, little rabbit. (And despite saying that, Rachel is still much lower on my shitlist then some other individuals I could name off. Funny how that works.)