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BPOV

The funeral home was large and luxurious. It didn't seem at all fit for its purpose. The front displayed large white marble columns against a brick front. The lawns were perfectly manicured, brilliant green against the charcoal grey sky. The only belying factor was the tide of black clad people that ebbed and flowed in and out of the large front doors. I stared sadly at the magnificent building from inside the dark limo that Alice, Jasper, and I were seated in. This was it.

"Are you ready, Bella?" Jasper asked me, sending waves of reassurance and strength towards me.

"I have to be." I said. I was desperately trying not to fall apart, even with Jasper's constant flow of soothing emotions, my panic was breaking through. I knew there was only one person who could have calmed me in that moment. However, he was not around. He would never be there to comfort me again. It had been a long time since I'd felt this level of emptiness, the memories came back with startling clarity:

"Alice?" I opened my eyes, slowly. Everything was far too loud; I could hear the smallest noises coming from outside the house. I gasped and shut my eyes at the brilliance and sharpness of what I saw. I could see every detail. "Alice?" I heard a gasp and, an instant later, Alice came rushing into the room. Jasper moved in front of her, shielding her from me, I realized.

"Bella!" She cried. "How do you feel? Do you remember what happened?"

"I-You bit me." I said slowly. "I remember fire, and then darkness. I-I'm a vampire now aren't I?"

"Yes, Bella. It was the only way. You agreed, I think." She had a little frown of frustration on her face.

"No, Alice. I'm fine. I'm just a little confused. Give me a minute." I assessed my surroundings, my body. I felt stronger; all of my senses were sharper. I could smell Alice and Jasper; their scents complimented each other perfectly. And then I felt the burning in my throat. It hit me hard so that I choked on it. Jasper recognized the change in my demeanor and growled low.

"Stay back, Bella. Stay calm. We can go hunt." He was trying to stop me from attacking!

"Jasper! I'm not going to attack you. But I-I think I really should hunt." Alice raced out of the room and was back almost immediately with a glass of blood.

"Drink up, Bella." Alice said, happily. I sniffed curiously, then wrinkled my nose. It smelled no better than it had when I was human. I knew I had no choice though. I tipped the glass and the warm liquid poured down my throat. It certainly tasted good. I glanced up Alice.

"What is it, Bella?" She saw the confused expression on my face.

"Am I supposed to like the smell? Because it's really not that appealing. And why did that little glass get rid of my thirst? I thought newborns were supposed to need more blood?"

"Wait. You don't think that smells good?" Jasper asked.

"No, it's actually sort of repulsive to smell."

"And you're not thirsty anymore." He prompted.

"No."

"Well that makes sense, Jazzy. Bella was never a big eater, and she hated the smell of blood."

"I suppose." He muttered, distractedly.

"Well this is great!" Alice laughed.

"Why?"

"Well," She said as if she was speaking to a particularly slow witted child, "because now we don't have to worry about what to do about Charlie."

"What are you talking about Alice?"

"You don't have to worry about biting him. I saw it just now, you won't bite him!" I felt joy start to rise in me. It was crushed almost immediately by a new thought though.

"He'll notice when I don't age."

"That is a problem. We'll just have to deal with that then." She was trying to gloss over the fact that we would have to fake my death. No, I wouldn't leave Charlie like that!

"You said my death would kill him." I accused.

"Bella…." I was sure she could see where I was taking this.

"I think…I think we have to tell him the truth." I said.

"The Volturi…" Jasper began.

"Won't have to know." I finished. "Charlie can keep a secret." Jasper looked to Alice for confirmation. She nodded.

"She's right." She looked relieved. "That's the best plan so far. Good job, Bella." She ruffled my hair. I glared at her.

"Looks like we're staying in Forks, Alice." Jasper said to her. "Good thing we bought this nice house." He looked close to laughing. Of course, they had both probably already known this was going to be the decision.

"I'm stuck with you two for all eternity?" I mock complained.

"And you'll love every minute of it." Alice promised. The reality of my situation sunk in. I had eternity as a vampire, and I still didn't have Edward. I could feel myself slipping towards my comatose state. I fought free of the clutches of that train of thought, pushing all thoughts of him into a tightly locked box in the back of my mind.

APOV

Jasper and I walked out of the room. I knew that Bella needed time to adjust.

"Alice?" I knew what he was asking. He wanted to know why I hadn't mentioned Edward to her.

"Jazzy, every time I think about telling her, our future vanishes." I could see the horrified expression on his face. "Not just us, but Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett, Bella, and Edward. I see Edward coming this way. Then I see the Volturi, red eyes in the darkness. I hear screaming; Bella's, Edward's, yours, mine, Carlisle's, Esme's, Rosalie's, Emmett's screaming, yelling. Then it all goes dark in a flash of fire. We're too strong for them, Jasper. They won't let us be whole. Isn't it better this way? At least we can be part of a family."

"Are you sure?" He knew I was.

"Besides, I meant what I said. Charlie needs her. We have to stay here. As much as he needs her, she needs us. Bella needs to be taught. It's going to be very hard for her to move forward without him. It might be impossible. I can't tell." He sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide.

"I trust you, my love." He said finally, and then he kissed me.

BPOV

"Bella?" Jasper was standing in front of my door, holding out his hand. I had been too immersed in memories to notice. I took his hand and climbed out of the car. I glanced at Alice. She too looked a little foggy. Maybe I hadn't been the only one daydreaming. Jasper pulled Alice out of the limo and offered us each an arm. Then the three of us headed into the building. I mentally braced myself. This was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever done. It was only second to losing him and to moving forward without him.

I clung to that though finding it surprisingly less painful than my present. Alice was talking to a man wearing a suit and holding a list of sorts. I ignored them focusing on the good things I had done. I knew he would be proud of me. That's why I had done it, and to please Alice and Charlie. I remembered graduating Dartmouth with a doctorate in medicine, in his honor of course. Then there was my second graduation from college, at Charlie's insistence, with a degree in literature. I had acquired an extensive book collection over the years. That was something to be proud of, right? I was getting that feeling of mortality that can only be gained by attending a funeral. I had not expected it, being immortal, and so it hit me hard. Was this all I had to claim as accomplishments after 50 years? No, there was more. I had continued the treaty with the Quileutes. I had moved out of the room that was in the same place on the floor plan as his had been. Was that the end of the list? I wasn't any stronger, wiser. I was not a whole person. Hadn't I done well for being ripped in two?

These were the kind of thoughts that I hid from Alice and Jasper. I was sure he was attributing my distress to the funeral. I was such a burden to them. I kept them trapped in one place. They couldn't even go to high school because it was too hard for me, and they refused to go without me. That would change, I vowed. Maybe we would go back to school this year. That would make Alice happy. Maybe it would fill the empty spaces left inside of me from the loss of so many that I loved.

We had been admitted into the room where Charlie was. I bit back a sob, my attention now entirely focused on the present. There was no turning back time. I had to be strong.


Okay so, Alice's POV was a flashback, in case you were confused. I promise to bring more Edward back next time. I know Bella's a little like weak and whiny right now but she's going through some rough times. Things will get better. Review!