Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. I merely play with the characters for entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 4
Taken
I didn't set out to seduce him. I didn't intend for him to fall for me. I had no grand designs.
I merely let him take me.
The first time, he took me in the copy room. Wordlessly, he came and took me from behind. Wordlessly, I let him.
For a little while, he seemed to have given up. I never gave him any encouragement so that he would see the futile nature of his infatuation. He stopped talking to me about anything besides work. He even lightened up my work load, but only a little.
If anyone else knew of our situation, they might have thought he finally got the idea. But I wasn't convinced. And so when he finally fucked me, I wasn't all that surprised.
I went home that same night, showered, and got into bed next to a sleeping Jacob. I slept soundly.
Guilt is such an unwholesome feeling. Terrible and nagging. It weighs you down, wears you out. Who needs it? Certainly not me.
At work, I was the picture of cool – nonchalant and uncaring. If what happened never happened again, I was fine with it. But Edward hovered around me, making tasks for himself. I could tell he was trying to gauge some sort of reaction from me. It was all very high school.
He backed up after that. I think he sensed my irritation to his neediness. But it only lasted a few days. The next time we were alone in the office after hours, he charged me from the front.
Edward kissed me like there was no tomorrow. He kissed me all over. He kissed me like I was vital to his survival.
Life is funny that way.
Sometimes the way he revered my body, I thought he was literally going to devour me. His desperation to be near me meant his skin crushed mine, his body pleading to possess, trying to conquer mine. Our bodies entwined, joined at the hips, in this sweet, rapturous battle.
Needless to say, the sex was good. Which probably prevented me from ending the whole affair, even when Jacob found out.
To my credit though, Jacob didn't find out for a while. Not until Edward was fully invested in me. And even then, my poor husband only found out because Edward had wanted him to against my wishes.
I never set out to hurt them and cause all that happened. I wasn't twiddling my thumbs in the darkness scheming all this. But I didn't exactly prevent our lives from careening into each other either. Hindsight is 20/20, but that didn't mean I couldn't see what lay in front of me.
Some like to think people can change. Some hold on to the belief we never truly do. I don't know which is true, but whether people change or not, I know feelings do.
Edward became unsatisfied with only having me for our trysts. He wanted me to leave Jacob, but I told him I wouldn't.
"Why?" The way he looked at me then could've broken my heart. If I had one.
"I won't be your girlfriend or your wife. You have me as I am."
He wrapped his hands firmly where my shoulders met my neck. "I have your body when you are not with him. I want your heart, your soul. I want you whole."
What he didn't want to acknowledge was that I was never whole. There was no whole to give.
So I merely said, "I'll never love you." His grip tightened for an instant before losing all strength and conviction.
I left him standing there where he stood.
