Part Four - Guilt
Rogue stumbled into the bathroom the next morning with a pounding headache. She rested her hands on the side of the sink and stared at her reflection; grimacing at the sight. She ran a hand over her face and gently felt the swollen flesh under her eyes. She had cried herself to sleep as she thought about what she had done. Why hadn't she felt it before? Why didn't she feel the guilt soon after she killed the man? These questions she asked herself she had no answers to. She combed her fingers through her hair as she released a deep sigh. She turned on the hot water and slowly climbed in; relishing in the feel of the hot water drops prickling her soft skin. She could feel him better now than before. The alcohol helped shut him out, but now that it faded he was attacking her mind with full force.
Images of him with his family kept flashing before her eyes; the birth of his new baby girl. His wedding. His whole life was in her head and she could barely take it. She held herself up by pressing her hands to the tiled walls of the shower; her fingers curling with the pressure of the images on her mind. The images were causing her headache to get worse and she allowed more tears to fall from her eyes. She screamed in anger and frustration; pulling her hands away from the wall only to bring the right hand back in a fist to come in contact with the wall; causing the skin around her knuckles to crack and bleed. She grimaced in pain as she slowly pulled the hand back, steadying it's shakiness with her left hand.
She shut the water off and slowly climbed out; she wiped the tears off her face with her right hand; smearing blood on her face. She wiped the fog off the mirror and gasped at the blood; quickly grabbing a towel and wiping it off. She quickly got dressed; brushed her knotted hair, and ran out of her room. She made a mental note to be careful what she thought around Jean and the Professor. The last thing she needed was for everyone to know she was a murderer.
As she walked past the rec room she stopped abruptly at what she heard on the television. She slowly walked in and rested against the doorframe as she watched the news. She had also noticed Logan was the one watching the tv.
"The man was found dead this morning by the owner of the store. The only thing taken was alcohol; the cash register was never touched. Coroners have yet to figure out what the cause of death was. But some believe it to be mutant related."
They'll find you. They'll figure out you killed me and they'll lock you away. Or worse, seeing as you're a mutant.
"No." Rogue whispered as she tried to ignore the voice in her head and fight back the tears that threatened to fall.
Yes... they will find you. And you will pay for what you've done.
"Stop it." She whispered once more; this time catching Logan's attention.
"Marie? What's wrong?" Logan asked as he noticed the horrorfied expression on her face.
"No." Rogue said again as she listened to the voice in her head; not even noticing Logan said anything to her.
"Marie." Logan said again, this time placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Don't touch me!" She screamed as she smacked his hands away and backed up so they were no longer arms length.
"Marie, what's gotten into you?" Logan asked confused.
"Nothing. Just... stay away from me." She said before turning around and running out of the house. She had to get away. She couldn't stay there another minute. Although she knew they didn't have a clue what she'd done, she still felt like they were looking at her as a killer. A murderer. And that was exactly what she was.
She jumped the fence in the same place her and Casey had jumped the previous night and ran up the road. She didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. She didn't even care if she wound up dead in a ditch somewhere. At least that way she'd get what she deserved.
Logan ran out of the house and followed her scent in time to see her jump the fence. He furrowed his brow in confusion before running after her as fast as a man with an adamantium skeleton would allow. He was bound to figure out what had gotten into her. She was acting stranger than usual and he was scared. Yeah. The Wolverine was scared. Scared for Marie. He jumped the fence with ease and sniffed the air again to detect Marie. Once caught he followed her up the road in a full run. In no time at all he saw her ahead of him; her right hand sticking out and her thumb up. She was trying to run away again. But what was the reason behind it this time?
"You runnin' again?" He asked once he was in ear shot.
Rogue stopped abruptly and quickly lowered her arm to her side and bent her head backwards as a sigh escaped past her lips. She slowly turned to face him and he noticed she had been crying from the swelling around her eyes.
"Marie, tell me what's going on." Logan demanded.
Rogue slowly shook her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn't bare the look she'd get from him if she told him what she'd done. She didn't think she could live anymore.
"I can't." She whispered as she wiped the tears away.
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't!" She screamed.
"Marie, what happened?" Logan asked as he took a step towards her.
Rogue slowly shook her head as she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat. She took a step back when she saw Logan was getting closer to her. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be near him. She was too dangerous.
"Stop. Don't come near me." Rogue whispered as she put a hand up and stared at the ground.
"Marie."
"I said don't!" She yelled as she turned and walked the opposite direction.
"Marie stop walking away from me!" She heard him yell but didn't stop until she felt a hand grab her arm. He turned her to face him and held her tight to his body.
"Logan, let me go." She demanded in nothing more than a whisper.
"No."
"Logan... please." She pleaded.
"Not until you tell me what's going on."
"I told you I can't." She cried.
"Don't give me that bullshit, Marie! Now tell me!"
"No! Just leave me the hell alone!" She screamed as she tried to push him away, but first he was too strong and second too heavy.
"Marie, I'm just trying to help." He said softly.
"Well ya can't, alright! You just can't!" She exclaimed as she heard a vehicle down the road heading for their direction.
"How do you know if you won't let me in?"
"Because... I just do." She answered as she looked in his hazel eyes.
The car they heard earlier pulled up next to them and the man in the driver's seat rolled down the window.
"Hey, is this guy bothering you?" The man asked as he looked between Rogue and Logan.
"Leave, bub." Logan said through clenched teeth as he continued to look at Rogue.
"Wh..." The man started.
"Can you give me a ride?" Rogue asked, her southern drawl coming out.
"Uh yeah... yeah... I can do that." He answered excitedly.
"Thanks, sugah." Rogue said as she pulled out of Logan's grasp. She walked to the passenger side and opened the door. Just as she was about to get in she looked at Logan one more time.
"I'm sorry, but no one can help me." She then said and hopped in the car. Ignoring the smiling man beside her as they drove off. Leaving Logan in a cloud of dust.
Logan turned and ran back to the mansion. He was going to have Chuck use cerebro to find her. He was going to keep his promise. He was going to protect her. He broke it once, and he was now on the road to redemption.
"Chuck, Marie's gone." Logan said the moment he stormed through the office doors.
"Yes, Logan. I am aware of that." He replied as he continued to stare at the papers on his desk.
"So why are you still sitting here? Go find her."
The Professor looked up from his work with a sigh and then motioned for Logan to sit down. Logan furrowed his brow in frustration and anger but didn't object. He sat down in the leather chair and repositioned his jacket.
"Logan, there's something you need to know."
"That seems to be my moto." He answered sarcastically.
"As you can tell," he continued, ignoring the sarcasm, "Rogue has been acting stranger since last night."
"Yeah."
"Logan, there's no easy way to tell you this, but..."
"Spit it out, Chuck."
"The man on the news. The one who was killed in the liquor store. That was her, Logan. Rogue killed him." The Professor replied.
"What." Logan said softly, not believing his ears.
"She tried to block me out, but it was useless. She has no idea that I know. But Logan, you have to help her anyway you can. Otherwise the guilt just might be the end of her."
