A/N: Holy shit, thanks for all the reviews! I never thought I'd even get one tbh, so thanks! Here's more ridiculousness.


Sailing

They got back to the hotel, changed into dry clothes, and listened as Reese and Shaw received a lecture from Finch. However, he seemed determined to press on to the next activity, so they only got an hour or two of rest before they were all back on the ocean. This time, they were in proper sailboats.

Reese, Carter and Shaw all had experience sailing, so they each paired up with someone who didn't. Reese and Finch took one sailboat, Carter and Fusco took another, and Root and Shaw were left with the smallest one.

Root thought about helping, but Shaw seemed to know what she was doing, so Root settled herself into the back of the boat and watched the others struggle to sail. Finch looked completely out of his element, which made Root smile. She wished she'd brought her camera with her, as she still needed to get even with him for taking pictures of her on the horse.

Carter and Fusco were doing pretty well, steering the boat and sassing each other at the same time. Root smiled and closed her eyes, letting the wind blow sea-spray into her face. She hadn't been this relaxed in a while; not since her mother had fallen ill.

"Are you going to help me or just sit there trying to get a tan?"

Well, it was good while it lasted.

She opened one eye and smirked up at Shaw.

"What, do you need me to reach something that's too high for you?"

Shaw glared at her, and tossed a rope at her head.

"Just hold this and pull it when I tell you to. Even you can't fuck that up."

Root smiled, but grabbed the rope.

"Your faith in me is so inspiring, Sameen. We make such a good team."

Shaw snorted.

"What gave you that idea? When we first met and you tasered me? Or how about a few days ago when I tried to kill you with a golf club?"

"Definitely the golf club incident. There's no way you missed me by accident."

"Carter distracted me." Shaw muttered.

Root smiled. Both of them knew that wasn't completely true. Shaw frowned, and spun around.

"Pull the rope."

Root did, and their boat swerved to the side.

"So Sameen-"

"Pull it again."

Root frowned, but gave the rope a hard tug.

"I was thinking-"

"Dammit Root, not now. Here, try this one."

Root did not appreciate being shut down before she got her cheesy line out. This wasn't how they worked. She was supposed to say something irritating, and then Shaw would roll her eyes or make a sarcastic reply. Either way, she wasn't supposed to cut Root down before she'd even started.

"Hey Shaw-"

"Root, try pulling that rope the other way."

Root scowled at her.

"Sameen, are you going to keep interrupting me every time I try to say something?"

Shaw whirled around to glare at her.

"Fine, Root! What do you have to say that's so important?"

Root grinned.

"We're kind of friends, aren't we?"

Shaw stared at her, and for a few seconds Root thought that she had accidentally broken her.

"For fuck's sake, Root!" Shaw exploded. "The boat is caught in a wind that's blowing us out to the ocean, and you want to talk about becoming BFFs?"

"Wait, seriously?" Root looked around and, huh, they were kind of far away from the pier. "What do we do?"

"I'm trying to turn us around, but I need you to actually be helpful. So shut up and pull."

Root rolled her eyes, but grabbed onto another rope. Together, they managed to turn the boat around so that they were facing the shore, but for whatever reason the wind wasn't blowing them back. Shaw slumped down into the boat, and Root followed suit.

"So what happens now?" Root asked. "Do you know how to get us back?"

"I've been sailing before, but not on tiny kiddie boats like these." Shaw grumbled. "If we don't think of something soon, someone's going to have to come out and tow us back, and I am not letting that happen in front of Carter."

"Oh right," Root said with feigned indifference, "I forgot about your little crush on her. It must be a family thing."

"Ok firstly, I don't do crushes." Shaw said, sounding offended that Root would even think that. "I just respect her, ok? She's badass, we get on well, and I hardly have any issues with her. You on the other hand, I have a lot of problems with."

Root smiled at that. How sweet.

"Secondly, I'm not talking to you about Reese's crush on Carter, because thinking about his love life as anything other than blackmail material makes me want to barf. Thirdly, I'm not talking to you about anything personal, because we are nowhere near that close."

"I'm totally your best friend." Root said, grinning cheekily.

"As if you have any friends." Shaw shot back.

"I do!"

"Oh yeah? Name one."

Root smiled triumphantly.

"Hanna."

"Name another."

Shit. Root frowned and racked her brains for another name.

"You." she said at last.

She knew by Shaw's smirk that she'd lost this round.

"Wow. One and a half friends. Incredible."

"Aren't we supposed to be trying to find a way back to the pier? Because I think we're drifting further out to sea."

Shaw frowned and stood up, tugging at the sail. Luckily for Root, she didn't seem to care about the abrupt subject change.

"Shit, you're right. We have to try and find some wind. If someone has to come and get us Finch will be pissed, and I cannot deal with another lecture on responsibility today."

"I think I have something that can help get us back quickly." Root said. "But I'll only show you if you admit we're friends."

"We're not friends."

"Then I suppose we'll just float out here forever. I don't mind getting in trouble with Finch. It's not like his opinion of me can get much worse."

"Fine." Shaw growled. "We're around three-quarters friends. Happy?"

Root smiled.

"Good enough." She reached into the back of the boat and pushed something into the middle.

Shaw stared at the object, clearly surprised.

"How the hell did you manage to smuggle a speedboat engine onto this boat without anyone noticing? Forget anyone, how did I not notice this?"

"I have my ways." Root said with a grin. "Can you make this work?"

It was clear that all thoughts of getting in trouble were gone from Shaw's mind. She stared at the engine with something scarily close to hunger in her eyes.

"You bet I can. We're going to be the fastest boat in this harbor."

Root smirked at the excitement on Shaw's face.

"I told you we make a good team."


Adventure golf

Needless to say, Finch had not been pleased when the girls' boat had shot by and drenched him and Reese. However, they didn't crash into anyone, and whoever Root stole the engine from never came looking, so Reese counted it as a victory.

Honestly, he would have been happy enough to spend the evening watching TV in the hotel, but of course Finch wanted to tempt fate.

"Golf again? Really?" he said skeptically.

"Not golf," Finch said brightly. "Adventure golf."

"What's the difference?" Shaw asked "Does it involve tripwires or guns?"

"…No."

"Then it's basically just crazy golf."

"No, it's adventure golf."

"Then what's the difference between it and crazy golf?"

"Oh look, we're here." Finch said, ushering them through the gate.

They got their clubs and balls and soon they were playing what was basically crazy golf. The good news was that Bear was allowed join them, which meant that Shaw probably wouldn't try to injure Root with her golf club again. Reese suspected that this was why Finch had chosen crazy-sorry, adventure-golf as the last activity of the day.

It went well too, until another group started playing alongside them. One of them was a young man, who seemed to think he was the best player there. He kept trying to give Carter tips, and when he attempted to put his hand on her waist Reese knew it was time to step in.

"Bear! Fetch." he whispered, pointing at the man's ball.

Bear woofed and bounded over, grabbing the ball in his mouth and running away. The man stopped trying to demonstrate his swing to Carter and took off after Bear.

"Hey! Give me my ball back! Who owns this dog?"

Reese smirked and walked over to Carter, who rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly at him.

"I could have handled that myself." she said.

"I know, but this way Bear gets to have some fun as well."

She smiled and they both watched as the man chased Bear around the golf course, loudly demanding that Bear give him his ball back. Reese glanced over at Finch, who shook his head disapprovingly at him, but there was a hint of a smile playing at the edge of Finch's mouth.

They played on, until Reese and Fusco were nearing the final hole.

"I think I've played enough golf to last me my entire life." Fusco grumbled. "There's only so much fun you can get out of hitting a ball with a stick."

"As soon as we've finished, I'm getting us both a beer." Reese replied, tapping his ball into the hole.

"You better." Fusco snorted, tapping his ball and missing the hole. "I can't believe I was dumb enough to fall for your lie. Carter would never agree to a week alone with your family even if you paid her."

"They're not that bad." Reese said, but he backed down when Fusco gave him a look. "Ok, so they are that bad. But you love them."

"Yeah, yeah, guess I do. Otherwise I'd probably be back in New York actually having a good time."

"Drinking alone in a bar counts as a good time?"

"Smartass." Fusco finally hit his ball into the hole, but it bounced back out.

Reese smirked and moved on to the next hole.


Mini Open Farm

Finch knew that he should be more comfortable on farms-after all, he was born in Iowa- but he had never really been fond of them. Nonetheless, he had many childhood memories of wandering around various farms, so it felt right that his children should have the same experience.

The town was so small that they didn't have a proper farm to visit, but they had a mini one. Finch didn't know what a mini farm entailed, but it sounded like it might be enjoyable, so that was where they went the next morning.

It didn't go quite as he had envisioned. Reese and Root somehow managed to antagonize every animal they came close to without even doing anything. Carter and Shaw had to trail behind them and sooth the scared creatures, while Finch and Fusco wisely stayed out of the way.

"You know, I'm almost glad you interrupted my beauty sleep and dragged us out here." Fusco told him. "Watching Wonderboy get attacked by a chicken is one of the best things I've ever seen, although all the cows stampeding away from Cocoa Puffs whenever she came near them was pretty funny too."

Root ran past them at that moment, with an angry cat chasing after her. It yowled at Root as she vaulted a fence and ran though the sheep field. The cat followed and soon all the sheep were bleating in fear. When they quieted down, Finch knew she had escaped.

He considered trying to go after her, but decided not to when Shaw ran by. She paused when she noticed them.

"Have you seen Root?" she asked. "She got too close to a litter of kittens and now the mamma cat wants blood."

"She went that way." Fusco said. Finch nodded and pointed in the direction of the sheep field.

Shaw spared a second to roll her eyes, and then she took off over the fence. Finch turned back to Fusco and attempted to smile.

"The weather is lovely today, don't you think?"

From their left, they heard the sound of frenzied squawking.

"John, calm down, it's just a bird. Put that gun away now before somebody notices! Why did you bring a gun with you at all?"

Finch and Fusco stared at each other.

"I hear they have pigs over on the other side of the farm." Finch commented.

"Let's go."

They scurried away just as Reese reached the fence they had been leaning against. There was a parrot clawing at his hair and he was desperately trying to shake it off without injuring it. Carter ran after him and attempted to shoo the bird away, but neither of them were having much success.

"Let's walk faster." Finch suggested.

From somewhere behind them, an alarm started blaring. Finch thought he heard someone scream and he glanced backwards. There was a llama running free, chasing after Root. Shaw had grabbed onto it and was attempting to steer it back to its pen. She wasn't having much success, but all the other children wandering the farm had stopped to watch her wrestle with it. Finch thought he recognized the boy from the golf course among the gawping children. The llama tried to throw Shaw off his back and ended up kicking the boy in the face.

He ducked as a pigeon flew over his head and started dive-bombing Reese. A helpless farmhand stumbled out of the birdhouse and stared in shock at the pandemonium.

"You ok, Glasses?" Fusco asked "I know this looks pretty bad."

"To be honest," Finch replied faintly, watching as Carter tried to steer children away from the llama. "I was expecting it to be a lot worse."