Disclaimer: The Last Lonely Cullen is a work of fanfiction. All character names and locations associated with Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer and her publishing company Little Brown. In no way do I make any profit from this story, and no copyright infringement is intended
Hello Everybody, long time no post eh?
I know, this re-write has gone worse than the original posting, but I've been waiting for my beta to get back to me. Sadly, real life is interfering with the betaing process of my story. I've decided that I will post the next few chapters without the highly valued opinion of BrokenNightingale who honestly has made this story what it is with her help.
So the next few chapters are not looked upon by any eyes but my own. Therefore, even though I tried my best there will be some mistakes. Feel free to point them out and I will attempt to correct them.
Thanks to all of you who are still reading. I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 4
The twenty-four hours I was waiting to meet Isabella were turning out to be the worst of my existence. My nerves were beyond frayed and I found myself jumping at noises and Jasper and Emmett were doing whatever they could to make me feel worse.
"Isabella and Edward sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-" Emmett sang as I moved from the study where I had been with Esme. I stopped and looked over the open staircase down onto Emmett who was on the bottom floor.
"Emmett! I've told you before! There will be no tree climbing! No kissing! And no love between Isabella and I!" I screamed.
"But there'll be marriage!" he smiled and pranced over to Alice who was sitting in the living room.
"And there's no need to rule out tree climbing Ed! It's a fun pass time." Jasper added. I sighed and rubbed my temples. He laughed happily.
"Someone please remind me why I haven't lit myself on fire yet?"
"Because you love me." Esme said popping her head out of the study. Esme's eyes were soft and her thoughts pleaded with me. 'Go to school in the morning, relax. Everything will go smoothly if your father can work his usual magic.' I nodded.
"And Son, because if you die, she dies too." Carlisle's voice was solemn. The extent of the Volturi's involvement with the situation of my marriage bothered him more than he was letting on to anyone.
"Yes, but that is your fault, isn't it?" I snapped. Carlisle registered a major sting of pain in his thoughts.
"If that is how you see it,"
"Oh, it is Father,"
Wednesday morning came too fast, and my nerves had not gotten any better at all. My stomach was twisting and turning with the thoughts of the meeting that was to take place today after school. I wondered what I was supposed to say, and do. I'd never really been in a situation even remotely close to this before, I gave a nervous laugh at this thought. It would be absurd to experience anything close to this, even in my century on Earth.
"Calm yourself Edward, just remember the vision you saw. This does not have to be hard." Jasper said as we got into my silver Volvo to head to school. I felt Jasper reach out with a wave of calm and I thanked him for it many times. I could not let myself get so worked up. I needed to be very collected and gentle tonight. This human was to be mine, and all odds were working against us (except Alice's visions). I needed to show her that even though through this we could not be lovers, we could at least get along for the sake of my family, To do this I had to be very patient, kind, speak in a low voice, and had to remind myself not to touch her.
Alice had told me that at first she would be withdrawn but would become more open to me and find herself liking me before long. This had caused me to snort loudly tell her to keep her vision in her own head.
"You know things might be easier if you listened to me." Alice mumbled from the back seat. "I'm not wrong Edward! She's not going to respond to you if you don't know how to handle her! I can help you!" I gave a small hiss and Jasper growled at me for threatening Alice. I raised my eyebrow at him.
"Don't challenge me when it comes to her." he said. Alice crossed her arms and sulked.
"You just can't accept the fact that you're wrong, now leave it please." I snapped and Alice huffed loudly in the backseat. Jasper slipped his arm behind the seat and took his wife's hand and I saw her smile at the instant comfort. I felt jealousy rise in me but tried to force it away before Jasper could say anything, I was unsuccessful his face folded into a smirk.
"See, if you listened to Alice you could have this too." He whispered and I sighed, pressing down more on the accelerator to faster get out of close quarters with two couples.
After arriving at school I went straight into my English class. I tuned out the teacher and tried to block out the thoughts around me. The noise of inner monologues faded to a low buzz. I breathed in deeply and pretended to copy notes on A Midsummer Night's Dream. Today was already going too slow. I found myself anxious for tonight to come. By no means did I want to meet Isabella Swan, but I would if it meant this anxious pit into my stomach would go away.
The bell rang and I quickly left the room. My thoughts were firing off at lightning speed and I didn't know what to focus on. Pictures of Isabella swam into my mind, some memories, some I'd taken from Carlisle's thoughts over the last few days. I felt my stomach give another lurch and tried to clear my head, the thoughts of others penetrated my mind
"There's a new girl coming..."
"So Isabella Swan is coming back to live?..."
"I hope she hasn't gotten any prettier..."
They were all thinking about Isabella. I smirked to myself when I realized it had been Jessica who'd wondered if she'd gotten prettier or not. She being so small minded of course would worry about a new girl "stealing her thunder", though I never understood why she had 'thunder' I thought she was just like any other human, nothing special. In fact if one looked straight on to Jessica her nose was too small for her face, and her eyes were a light watery blue without sparkle. Not attractive.
The day continued on just as this. Thoughts swirled around the Chief's daughter, some remembered her as the quiet girl who came here for the summers, told lame jokes but was easy enough to get a long with. Others wondered why she had been away for so long, and now suddenly she was moving back to stay for good, something she had apparently sworn she would never do. Other people's memories of her were different than mine, she looked so small to me in their eyes. At thirteen she had looked like a very young thirteen, easily being mistaken for ten or eleven. Now fives years later in Alice's blurry visions she had transformed into a women. I would have been lying to myself to say I was not curious to see what she looked like now without the mist of Alice's visions and the fleeting, semi-blocked thoughts of my father.
The last bell of the day finally rang and I thought that this day had felt entirely too long and short at the same time. I felt sick, and my hands were actually shaking with nerves.
"Focus Edward," Jasper said washing some confidence over me.
"Thank you," My brother nodded and we drove home together listening to Emmett complain about how he had to restrain himself so much in gym class, and how he had to pretend to not know French. Rose tried to comfort him by saying that he could always go wrestle me or Jasper to use up his energy and was welcome to speak French to her anytime. He eyed her and smiled
"I have better ways to use energy" Rose laughed and I grimaced. Always surrounded by couples and I was still alone. Emmett's and Rosalie's thoughts turned romantic and longing broke out through my distaste for their presence. I groaned slightly. Alice turned her head to smirk at me.
"You could be just like those two you know!" she spat at me in her head, I chuckled without humour.
"Alice, no one wants to be like Emmett, except Emmett, and that's one of his major flaws." Emmett swatted at the back of my head and told me to lighten up. "I'll lighten up when you get serious, not before." Emmett chuckled at me and Alice joined in. I felt Jasper altering my mood to one of more ease, and I felt my hostility and jealousy float away. "Remind me to keep you around permanently when this girl gets here." I said as we pulled into the driveway.
"Consider it done brother, whatever makes you a little less tense about this." We all got out of the car and walked inside. "You know that things will be alright Bro, Alice has told me-"
"Stop right there," I murmured. Jasper nodded, his thoughts touching on irritation and sympathy. My father called me into the sitting room and I told him I would be there in a few minutes. I ran up to my room to change into a tight green sweater and dark jeans, hoping this would be appropriate attire for meeting my future wife. Pausing to look in the mirror I tried to force out a soft smile but I could not. I could not be happy about this. I would just try to keep a straight face when she arrived.
"Edward!" Esme called the minute I stepped out of my room. "Go put on a shirt and tie! You'll want to impress Chief Swan, not have him think you're just another teenager! Carlisle has been talking you up, and you need to live up to the expectation." I sighed,
"Mother, this is fine. What if Isabella is not dressed up to see me? Then I'll look like an idiot!" I did not want to get dressed up for a woman who was not going to care. She would think I was attractive anyways, all humans did. Esme debated silently. She sighed and then looked me over.
"You're right Dear, you look fine." She paused and cradled my face between both hands. "Such a handsome boy, she's just going to love you."
"Mother-"
"Don't you dare try to make me feel bad for complimenting my oldest child Edward!" I nodded and followed Esme downstairs silently, listening to her thoughts. She still was wanting me to wear a tie simply out of respect. Guilt washed over me as I felt I had disappointed my mother and Jasper looked to Esme.
"You're making him feel guilty. In all honesty Esme I'm sure that that's pretty much the last thing he needs right now." My brother smiled up at me and punched my shoulder as he came to stand beside me. "I got your back." I smiled and we bumped fists before walking into the sitting room.
"She'll be here in 15 minutes Edward." Alice said to me. I swallowed nervously and ran my hands through my hair.
"Try and smooth out your hair Love, not make it look like a lion's mane." My mother chided softly. I sighed and stood still as Alice flitted to me and adjusted my hair so it looked like her version of good.
"Why are you jumping to criticize me at every turn tonight?" I hissed. I was under enough stress without Esme doing this to me. She frowned.
"You're mother doesn't mean to Edward, she is simply nervous." Carlisle said.
"Come sit Edward, the Swan's will be here soon" Esme said attempting to smile at me. I complied to my mother's request for me to sit. I kept my back straight and drew slow deep breaths.
Now in these last few minutes time was choosing to move eerily slow. I closed my eyes and tried to relax myself. All of my family was soon gathered into the sitting room and waiting patiently for the sound of crunching gravel and the smell of the burning gas from Chief Swan's beat up police cruiser.
"Now remember, Charlie does not know about vampires, so full human okay? Everyone move slowly, speak with modern slang, we can't give away anything."
"Jeez Dad, you talk at us like we've never been around humans before! Relax, we're about to meet our new sister. It doesn't have to be so hard! We know how to act, just chill!" Emmett said. His wife gave him a scathing look and her thoughts filled with anger. She thought that this Isabella was going to wound me more than I could imagine. I raised an eyebrow at her but she looked away.
"I know Emmett, I just like to be cautious."
"I know." We stopped talking, Alice and I were staring at each other. She was watching visions of our entire family dancing through her head as the future swirled between many different options. I noticed that I was still mateless in them. This gave me an odd shot of hope combined with loneliness.
'You're feelings are way too complex. If I felt all you did all the time I would explode.' Jasper thought. I wanted to laugh, he felt exponentially more than I did, my feelings were just more unusual than his.
"Four minutes" Alice said breaking the silence that had filled the room. I started to breathe deeply again, though it did nothing to calm my nerves. I could not remember ever feeling this nervous before. The questions that had been plaguing me these past few days were kept running through my head. How could this work? Could Alice's visions have any truth? Could I actually make this girl love me so much she would want to give up her humanity? Could we work through her emotional scars of her encounter with Lonnie and be a real couple?
Jasper, who was becoming my favorite person to have around reached out with a wave of calm. I sighed and glanced at him to show my appreciation for his talent. He nodded back and came to stand behind the chair I was sitting in. The close proximity let me feel the full effects of his ability. All my nerves were gone and I began to gain a little confidence in the meeting that would take place in a few minutes. I could get through this, and I could try and make this girl feel as good about this as she could. I reminded myself of all my questions. Logic brought me the answers. No of course we would never be a real couple, no of course she would never want to be what I was if it meant eternity with me. But we could get through tonight.
Alice came to join Jasper behind me. Immediately she tried to push a new vision of Isabella and myself at me. All I caught was a flash of a kiss and my thumb brushing a tear from pale skin. A growl rumbled through me and she sighed.
'Edward! These are things you need to see! It's your future' I sighed, I was tired of this argument.
"No Alice, it's what you're guessing for my future! You want it so bad you can see it. Now keep your visions to yourself as I requested of you earlier. This is hard enough without you." Alice looked offended by my words but at the exact moment I did not care because a knock sounded on the front door and Esme rose to answer it.
"Hello Chief Swan, Isabella," Esme said as she answered the front door. I closed my eyes and took in one last deep breath. "Welcome to our home,"
As Esme and the Swans' approached the room I rose from my seat, my manners kicking in even before my mind could think about it. They would think it was odd that I had jumped to my feet in the presence of a lady, but my father didn't even reprimand me in his thoughts.
The moment felt entirely too heavy but I forced my eyes open and there before me stood my mother, Charlie Swan who I'd seen around town and behind him stood Isabella Marie Swan.
My eyes went wide and something deep inside my chest cavity shifted with a sensation I had not ever felt before. I had been right to assume that these last five years had changed her drastically. Still, she was such a tiny thing, maybe 5'4 at the tallest, and skinny, almost too much. Not overly curvaceous, she was making her still feminine shape even less defined by wearing a billowy skirt and a bulky knit sweater. Her hair was long, tied in a low ponytail that fell almost halfway down her back and was the colour of roasted chestnuts. The wide doe eyes that stood out to me matched. Contrasting her dark eyes and hair was her smooth clear skin, that was so white she may have only been two or three true shades darker than myself. She must religiously hide herself from the sun to be so pale. Her blood was rushing under her skin and I could see it move through her. My eyes moved over her quickly but it seemed to take forever to really take her in. I felt my stomach lurch and I held my breath,
This girl was beautiful.
No,
This girl was the most beautiful.
The world may have stopped spinning, but it was Jasper who took me back into our reality. His body was vibrating with the new emotions that had stirred in the room but I was too caught up in the beauty of the human in front of me to notice exactly what was happening with him.
"Charlie, Isabella, this is my family" Esme said. Carlisle immediately rose to put an arm around his wife after shaking Charlie's hand. Jasper was holding onto his head as my father went around the room introducing everybody. "This is Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie's twin brother Jasper, beside him is Edward's sister Alice." Charlie nodded to them in turn and looked out of the corner of his eye, watching his daughter stare at her feet.
"Bella," he whispered. She looked up and stepped up beside him. He placed an arm around her and stepped her toward me. This extra step brought her even closer and my eyes wandered her slowly. The stirring I had noticed in my chest grew more intense as she stood before me and now it was the scent of her that I noticed in place of her beauty. It was the most heavenly thing and I felt my eyelids become heavy as wanting to taste her overwhelmed me. She was earthy, and deep with floral touches. Lilacs and roses combined with the clean smell of the woods after rainfall. Warmth like nutmeg and cinnamon hit my tongue as I opened my mouth minimally to breath her in. No one had ever smelled like this before and part of me wanted to grab her and just have a small taste, just a drop to satisfy the wanting that was cropping up inside of me.
'Snap out of it Edward. Focus.' my father snapped in his thoughts. I tried to think of her beauty in place of her scent. I could not lust after her smell. I would never drink from a human again. I would never hurt this girl.
"Isabella, this is Edward." Esme said gesturing toward me. I inclined my head slightly and gave her a small smile. She turned her head away as if disgusted and rung her hands.
"How do you do?" I asked in a gentle, quiet voice. Silence rang in the room. I tried to focus in on her thoughts. The internal voices of my family and the Chief raged in my head, but from Isabella, there was only silence.
I doubled my efforts. I could hear everybody in the room clearly, but not Isabella... Her mind was shut to me. How? This made no sense. In all my years I had never encountered someone who could keep their mind from mine permanently. I glared at her and involuntarily scowled a little. I instantly regretted it as it seemed to frighten her a little. Charlie took several more steps toward me with Bella who kept her face turned away and made a low noise in protest that had I been human, I would not have heard.
"Bella," he whispered to her "This is the young man I told you about, Edward." she nodded at him and then looked at the ground. She would not look me in the eyes. "He won't hurt you." Taking her hand slowly he held it out toward me and I studied him, seeing that he wanted me to take it. Tears welled up in her eyes and Isabella took her hand back. Her body began to shake slightly. Carlisle stepped up.
"Are you okay Isabella? Are you going to have panic attack?" Carlisle's mind flashed to recent hospitalizations Isabella had been through due to severe panic. I wanted to cringe as he remembered her so weak. She looked pathetic in these memories. Bella pushed herself into Charlie and shook her head. "You have no reason to be afraid of Edward. He's a very gentle man," Charlie again tried to extend Bella's hand toward me.
"No," she whispered and the Chief sighed. I felt a pang of loneliness run through me then. My mate was standing before me, but would not look at me or touch me. She stared at the ground while I stood there not knowing what to do or say. This was not the beginning everyone had hoped for. Rosalie and I were proved right already. If this girl would not even look at me or just touch my hand, how could she be my wife?
"Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other a little better?" Carlisle suggested. He offered Charlie the seat that I had occupied before. Alice and Jasper moved from behind it and moved to the couch with Carlisle and Esme. That left the love seat that was not occupied by Rose and Emmett for Isabella and myself. I gestured toward it, indicating for her to lead the way but she shook her head and went to sit on the arm of the chair her father now sat in. I walked to the love seat and sat down, hurt obvious on my face. My eyes immediately fell on Isabella. Her father was looking up at her.
"Bella, we went over this before we left the house. Go sit by him, he's your fiancé now. He's not going to hurt you." Charlie attempted to muffle his voice so we would not hear him, but our vampire senses helped us pick up on every word. Isabella's eyes wandered over to where I was sitting. She looked very nervous, with her shoulders hunched and her arms crossed in front of her. I tried another small smile to encourage her. Slowly she rose and walked over to the love seat. She sat as far away from me and possible. Charlie gave her a disapproving look and she slid marginally closer to me. "Bella," her father sighed and rubbed his temples. He was embarrassed that his daughter was acting this was in front of my entire family. Isabella slid even closer to me.
The tension in the room was tangible. I was hoping Jasper would reach out and ease the room up a little bit but him and Alice were conversing in very soft voices. I let their thoughts flash into my mind and saw that Alice was discussing the so called obvious affection I harbored for the fragile girl who sat beside me. She was so nervous she had started to shake. Jasper's face was contorted in pain, and I listened to his thoughts as he leaned into Alice. Isabella was causing this and he thought to me,
'Something is so wrong about pain of this magnitude Ed, you have to help her...' He leaned his head into his wife's and sighed softly attempting to deal with the presence of Isabella and her pain.
My eyes moved from Alice and Jasper back to Isabella. She was peaking at me out of the corner of her eye. Smiling didn't seem to put her at ease at all so I left my expression blank and just looked at her, taking in her features even more. She had big round expressive eyes, and a small nose, her lips were pale pink and just perfect for her face, but there was a deep crease mark in the bottom one, she was obviously a biter. For a human this girl sure was beautiful, it truly was a shame that we were not meant for each other. Her looks struck me as no one's ever had. She was more beautiful than Rosalie, than Alice, even more than Esme. Our eyes locked and I couldn't help but to smile at her, something about this girls beauty overwhelmed part of my senses. I silently cursed my father for bringing this one into my life. She could have it so much better.
I relaxed into the love seat a little and let myself breathe and drink in her scent. It was amazingly strong, floral like. I felt the little monster inside me pick up his head from his slumber, but I beat him away again. Isabella slowly moved her hands up to take out her hair allowing it to hide her face, and I was hit with the scent of strawberry shampoo. Her natural scent was temporarily blocked from me and the angry burn that had come into my throat died for a second. Her blood smelled amazing, I never wanted to be away from that scent again. My internal struggle was making me bite my lip softly. I should have went hunting this morning as well, but I did not know of her tempting smell then.
My eyes traveled over her and wondered why something so beautiful was so tempting as well. I shook my head slightly, I could get used to this scent, if we were together enough I would become used to the burn. It was tempting yes, but amazing at the same time. Nothing had ever smelled so sweet to me. My eyes continued to linger over her and noticed a crescent shape scar that sparkled slightly in the light on her wrist. That was where she had been bitten. Her eyes followed mine to her scar and she covered it with her sweater quickly.
I wonder if she remembered the attack in Alaska. Did she know what we were just by looking at us? Did Charlie know what he had signed his daughter up for when he had given me her hand? I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my father talking I turned to look at him and caught the last of his sentence.
"...how best to go about this so they can know as much as possible about each other before the wedding" Charlie was nodding and I cursed myself for not paying attention earlier.
"Well I have no real objections to your ideas from before, but she can come home on weekends if she'd like." Charlie responded to Carlisle
"Of course, of course. Well it'll be a month or two I think before we take it that far, they should get to know each other at school first I think, give Isabella a chance to make some more friends before she becomes bogged down with wedding plans." Esme said smiling. I saw Isabella scowl at her father and I smirked at how cute she looked when angry.
"What do you two think?" Carlisle asked. I looked into his eyes and smirked again. Did it really matter what we thought about whatever he was talking about? We had no choice in this anyways. He gave me a curious look, wondering what my smirk was about and I was going to tell him but I was interrupted when Isabella spoke for the first time since arriving. Her voice was urgent, but soft. When she spoke warmth moved around in my chest cavity and I felt a pull to lean toward her. Resisting I listened,
"Dad, I don't want to move away from our house! Why don't you want me around like you used to? What do I do that makes you hate me so much that you're marrying me off? I can be better!" she whispered these last words. "I can be good." She looked so pitiful as she pleaded. Esme sat up a little straighter and cleared her throat. Charlie flushed and looked to my father,
"May I have a private word with my daughter? I'm sorry she's acting like this, she has days where she reverts to being a young child. I promise she doesn't mean to be insulting."
"Dad!" Isabella hissed and a blush crept up her face, turning her skin the loveliest shade of pink and I let my eyes fall close with the pleasure I felt at the rush of her blood. When I opened my eyes again Charlie had turned to give Isabella a severe look and she just hung her head.
"Bella, come on."
"Of course, please feel free to use the kitchen or dining room, we'll just wait for you here." Charlie took Isabella out by the elbow and and I let out a long breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"So Edward, what do you think?" Alice asked almost bobbing up and down on the spot with excitement. I frowned and replied
"What do I think of what Alice?", of course I knew what she meant, She scowled at me and I smirked back
"Of Isabella, obviously"
"She's human" I said staring at her with a blank expression.
"You're trying to be difficult!"
"Edward, give us some kind of real answer," my mother said. "What do you think of her,"
"She smells good."
"Edward!"
"What do you want me to say? I don't know anything about her, she's said all of three sentences since she's been here, and she doesn't appear to like me very much at all. Am I the only person who noticed that she wouldn't even look at me? That she would not touch me!" I couldn't help but let the hurt show in my voice when I said this.
I had known that Isabella would not like me. I saw it coming from a mile away, and it was just a bad reminder that I was marrying someone who would never love me. Never would I ever be able to just contently lay with someone all day as Emmett and Rose did frequently. Never would I chase a lover around the house, laughing and joking finally catching her only to scoop her into my arms and kiss her passionately as I'd watch Jasper do countless times to Alice. A new wave of sadness hit me and I glared at the ground.
Isabella and Charlie came back into the room and again I immediately stood before I could stop myself again. When I had been younger it was always proper to stand when a lady entered the room. I'd never really bothered with Alice and Rose, and I had trained myself not to do it in school. But this beautiful human commanded my attention. Isabella looked at me like she thought my standing for her was absurd.
"You see? I told you he was a gentleman, no go sit by him and take his hand." Charlie said. Isabella made her way over to me and sat down. I settled myself beside her with deliberate slowness to make sure I would not frighten her. I noticed that we were sitting considerably closer than before and that it seemed to make her uncomfortable, but Charlie was staring at her so she made no attempt to shift away. Trying to ease her I slid down to give her more room, and her eyes searched mine, curiosity obvious in her expression. I just smiled and folded my hands together. Charlie's eyebrows were pushed together in frustration as he noticed I had moved away from Bella. Thinking it would be stepping over a parental line to reprimand me, he turned to my parents. Not knowing how to phrase his wanting me to slide closer to Isabella he instead said,
"I'm very sorry about that Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen" he made his way back to his chair.
"Please Chief, call us Carlisle and Esme." Esme said and she reached to take Carlisle's hand.
"Alright, but only if you call me Charlie. There really is no need for titles since we're basically family now." Carlisle and Esme beamed and Charlie returned their smiles.
"So where were we?"
"Bella has agreed that it would be best for her to move in possibly in the end of October or start of November."
"Wonderful!" Alice said "Mom, can I decorate her room for her?" Esme smiled but shook her head and Alice's face fell.
"Alice dear, Isabella will be sharing a room with Edward." she said. I glanced at Isabella to gage her reaction to this. She looked horrified at the very thought. She unconsciously shuffled away from me and peaked at me from the corner of her eye again. I stared at the floor, hurt by how much this seemed to upset her.
"Isabella!" her father reprimanded instantly. "Honestly, I don't know what to do with her anymore." Charlie said to my father. Bella sniffled and pressed her hands together and hid her face in embarrassment.
"She's just scared." I said and Charlie looked up,
"Excuse me?"
"She's scared of me. You cannot be mad at her for being afraid!"
"Edward, I'm not sure that this is time for you to argue about anything."
"I'm not arguing, I am simply saying that nothing is going to happen overnight. I think it is...unfair to expect us to start acting like a couple immediately whether that is...sitting closely on the couch, or whatever else. We need to adjust."
"You're seventeen?" Charlie asked laughing. I nodded. "I can already tell you're going to be good for her." Bella grimaced beside me and I nodded again not knowing what to do.
"Thank you, Sir." A heavy silence filled the room and Emmett was growing restless in his seat. He looked around and decided to speak,
"So...yeah. This isn't awkward or anything. In case anyone else is wondering."
"Very nice Emmett," Alice said. She stood and skipped over and plopped herself in between Isabella and I. "Hi!" I smiled as I watched Bella look at my sister and bite her lip.
"Hi," she whispered.
"I'm Alice,"
"Bella,"
"So what do you like to do Bella?"
"I like...books."
"I like to shop. We're going to be great friends." Charlie was watching this exchange with interest and smiled.
"Oh yeah?" I thought this was rather rude of Isabella and so did her father.
"Bella hates to shop."
"Then we will shop for books,"
"Alice, I think you're scaring her." Emmett said.
"Edward likes to read too you know," Alice said talking right over my brother. "I bet you like the classics. You look like a classic lover. Edward has a great collection. I bet you he could recite Wuthering Heights to you. He loves East of Eden too."
"You're really loud." Isabella whispered and I laughed.
"Alice is incapable of being quiet."
"Alice, please Love, don't overwhelm Isabella. That's the last thing she needs."
"We can talk later," Alice said and smiled widely.
"Mhmm," Isabella looked away and I watched her search the walls for a clock. My sister turned to from my future wife to lean her head on my shoulder and we shared a smile. She wanted so desperately to break the tension that filled the room that she was willing to let Isabella think she was really weird.
As another silence took us I watched Charlie Swan. He was hoping that Bella would have been more accepting of me, maybe talked to me. He thought I was a nice boy, quiet, but maybe that was just because I was nervous. My mother noticed his worry in his face and whispered softly to Carlisle who patted her hand.
"Edward, why don't you take Isabella outside and show her our gardens so you two can get to know each other a little while we make some arrangements? It may be easier to become comfortable with each other if we're not staring at you." Esme offered and looked to Charlie for his approval of the suggestion.
"That's a wonderful idea Esme" said Charlie.
"Of course Mother, would you like to accompany me outside Isabella?" I spoke to her directly. She seemed shocked to hear her name from my mouth. I stood and waited for her. Slowly, Isabella got to her feet beside me and I gestured for her to lead the way to the door.
"Bella, he's not going to hurt you." Charlie said again. She did not seem to like the thought of me behind her because she kept her eyes on me from over her shoulder. Isabella cleared her throat when she noticed that I had my eyes trained on her body and I shot my eyes up to lock into hers. She glared and I whispered an apology.
We walked out into the warm evening air. It was heavy and filled with an impending storm. Isabella had turned to face me and she was staring. I became slightly uncomfortable under her gaze I shifted my weight a little and cleared my throat, trying to ease my own tension. Isabella took a step away from me and looked up at the cloudy sky.
"Uh...our gardens are over here," I said pointing to the side of the house farthest from the driveway. Esme always kept a lush, green lawn with flowers of all the colours one could think of. I hoped that Isabella would like them, at least it would give us something to talk about.
"I think we should stay here, where my father can see me out the window." she said dropping her gaze and turning back to the window to look inside. She waved to her father and I saw Charlie motion for her to keep going with me. She turned. Her eyes found my feet and I felt another wave of pity for Bella. She seemed to love her father, and he was shunting her off to me. "Never mind, just... show me the gardens I guess." Fear was radiating off of Isabella, her steps small and quick as she moved beside me. I stretched out my pace so three of her small steps equaled one of my long strides. As we walked around the house and I could feel her grow more and more nervous. She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and glared at me when she realized I was again watching her. We had a small bench set in our gardens and I motioned to it.
"Would you like to sit?" I asked keeping my voice low and soothing. She seemed to relax a little bit as she let herself fall onto the bench. There was a silence and I turned myself towards her slightly. I watched as she looked up again at the sky and back around to Esme's flowers. She bit her lip as her eyes traveled over the late blooming lilies. Standing I walked and picked two of Esme's Casa Blanca white lilies, and brought them back, handing them to Isabella. She took them tentatively and smiled at then when she believed I wasn't looking. Her small nose inhaled deeply from the sweet perfume of the flower and I smiled,
"You like lily flowers?"
"They're my favourite." her voice was soft and she admired them, twirling the stems in between her fingers.
"Tell me about yourself?" I asked folding my hands in my lap and leaning towards her a little. Bella's body tensed and her eyes found mine again. There was no trace of a smile on her face. She pulled away sharply and her face showed me cold hostility and she spat out an answer at me.
"There's nothing to say. You and I both know we're only here for our parents. I don't like to be close to people, especially not people like you!" I was taken completely aback by her words and I was surprised when I felt a pain shoot through me. Her words had cut me like a knife. My hurt must have shown on my face. Her features softened a little but she did not apologize for her cruelty. An ache pulsed through my entire body and I turned from her slightly. This tiny, soft human was cruel, her hostility pushing through her fear without warning. "I know what you are..." she said after a small silence. "I've run into people like you before. I know what you eat."
"I know, I can see the mark." I whispered looking anywhere but her face. I turned my body away from her completely now and ran my fingers through my hair. Why did they have to do this to me? Why did they pick the one girl that would have to hate me so much? Bella lifted one of her flowers to feel the silky petals against her cheek. I found myself wondering if her cheek was soft like a flower petal. She interrupted my thoughts,
"How come you and your family haven't killed us yet?" she asked as she turned to stare at me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. Maybe that was why she had been so nervous tonight? She was waiting to be murdered by what she assumed were thirsty vampires. Between being attacked by those other vampires and Lonnie she probably expected it from everyone. I kept my eyes trained on the earth before me, and answered
"My family and I, we're different from others of our kind. We only feed off animals and we choose to exist among humans." I turned to face her and made myself look into her eyes. "Not all of us are so terrible, I would never even dream of feeding from you."
"You won't hurt me?" she asked sounding a little anxious.
"As I said Isabella, I would not dream of it." I whispered.
"I don't believe you,"
"Of course you don't."
"Don't you dare say that like you know anything about me!"
"I apologize," I murmured and ran my hand through my hair. "I am sorry Isabella."
"Yeah, right." She tore her gaze from mine and turned back to her flowers.
"There is no need to be rude." I whispered.
"Well...I'm sorry then." I nodded.
"It's okay," We fell silent and I heard her shift beside me and sigh every few minutes. "Isabella, I-" I began as I turned and started to reach for her.
"Don't touch me!" she yelled, fear swimming into her eyes and crippling her features.
"I—I'm sorry Isabella, I didn't mean to upset you!" I choked out. I stood and took a step towards her and she took one back. She dropped her lilies in fear and continued to step away from me. "Please, don't be afraid, I am not going to hurt you. I wouldn't!"
"Stay away from me... please." she whispered. I sat back down on the bench and motioned for her to do the same. We sat in silence and I strained my mind willing it to be able to hear her thoughts, but it was a losing battle. Something inside of me was aching and desperate to reach out and find some form of comfort in the creature beside me. The beauty and scent of this girl intrigued me, and her silent mind though frustrating, was calming to be around. Finally I could be with someone, but be with my thoughts alone. I sighed and then inhaled her scent deeply. Her eyes flickered to me.
"You've done that a few times tonight."
"I have." I stated simply. Isabella looked confused and I just shook my head, leaning forward to rest my elbows on me knees. I noticed her watching me and I turned my head to face her.
"Isabella-" she cut me off
"You can just call me Bella, no one calls me Isabella, unless Charlie's mad at me."
"Oh, okay. Bella." I said testing it, I liked the way it sounded when I said her name. "Bella." I whispered again, "What are you thinking? You're nearly impossible for me to read."
"It's not important." I frowned and sat back up straight. Her eyes were focused on my body and I raised an eyebrow at her.
"You're staring at me." I observed and Bella became slightly flustered
"I um...yeah- I'd like to go back inside now." she got up and began to head towards the house. I continued to sit on the bench for a minute then got up to follow her. Stooping to pick up her flowers I grabbed three more and turned to see her retreating figures. I ran to catch up to her and she moved faster, clearly wanting to be away. I frowned and slowed my pace, even though I could have caught her if I had wanted to. She was obviously determined to be away from me so I let her go. Bella entered the house ahead of me. When I got inside I found that everyone had moved from the sitting room to the kitchen. Charlie was having a cup of coffee and talking to Carlisle still.
"I didn't know that she would act like this even in front of you-" Bella stomped into the kitchen, realizing they were talking about her. She interrupted her father.
"Dad, can we please leave now?" Bella asked. I saw my father and mother frown slightly, but Bella paid them no mind. I walked up behind her and held up the flowers in front of her. She ignored them,
"You're supposed to be getting to know Edward, Isabella." he muttered taking another sip of his coffee. It was obvious from his mannerisms that Charlie was embarrassed by Bella's behavior again. He looked to me and my flowers that I was now holding down by my side. I smiled at him as much as I could and Bella followed her father's gaze to me. She looked down at the lilies and bit her lip. Holding them out to her again, I watched as she took them in her hands and gave them a soft smell like she had outside. Turning back to the island that was surrounded by my family she spoke,
"Dad, please?" Charlie looked hopeless as his eye wandered over his daughter. He looked back to me and I think even he could see how hurt I was by the rejection that I'd known was coming. It was good that she had rejected me. We could never be together with her being a human. It may have been a good thing, but it hurt. It hurt like hell.
"I think you and Edward should be spending as much time together as you can, he's going to be your husband Bella. Best to start getting to know him now. You two have only been outside for a half hour."
"I know Dad... I just...want to get lots of rest for school tomorrow."
"Bella its only 5:30," Bella's forehead creased with anxiety over her father's determination to keep us together for the evening. "You and Edward keep talking for a while, we'll go soon I promise." Isabella nodded her head and turned back toward me.
"Would you like to go back outside?" I asked
"No, I just want to be home." she said as she walked past me and back into the sitting room. I looked up to Carlisle. He had a slightly pained expression on his face and I could tell he was sympathetic towards me. My mother looked thoroughly upset and she tried to smile at me. I glared at Carlisle and hissed so low that Charlie couldn't hear.
"She hates me you know, now you're making us both miserable." I turned and was about to follow Bella into the sitting room when I was called back by her father.
"Edward?" turning I came back to the island and he sighed. "Don't give up on her."
"Sir?" I raised an eyebrow and he began to speak but stopped as we heard Alice yell
"Hi!" to Isabella again. "Where's Edward?"
"I don't know,"
"I'll find him!" Alice skipped into the kitchen and laced our fingers together on one hand while leaning her head against my upper arm. I smiled down at my sister and leaned my head onto hers.
"Is she always that happy?" Charlie murmured to my father. Carlisle nodded. "Anyways, Edward. I know that this is going to be hard, but I promise that it will get better."
"I'll... try?"
"Yes you will Edward." Carlisle said firmly.
"She's a nice girl...sometimes." Charlie said.
"I'll work on it Chief," he nodded.
"Why don't you get back to your fiancée?" Esme asked. "I'm sure she wants to talk more."
"Yeah...no. She doesn't." I said but turned and walked out of the kitchen. Alice squeezed my hand tightly before I left.
"May I sit with you Isabella?" I whispered as I stood in the doorway to the sitting room. Bella was lounging on the chair her father had sat in and was admiring the paintings on the walls.
"It's Bella, Edward. And yes, if you must." she poured acid onto her words and I felt that acid make a layer over my heart.
I knew that we could never be together, and I knew that Bella would never love or care for me, but it was still rude of her to be so blatantly hateful without giving me a chance as a person. I knew I was a monster, and I regretted ever taking a human life, but Bella had to understand somehow that I could be good...I wanted to be good. We sat in an uncomfortable silence. I glanced at her and saw that she again was staring at me out of the corner of her eye.
"Bella, why do you look at me when you think I don't notice? You've been watching me out of the corner of your eye all night." I gazed at her until she brought her eyes up to look directly into mine. A small blush seemed to creep over her face and she shook her head a little. I stared at her and waited for an explanation, finally she gave me one.
"I uh...don't trust you. You say you're not going to hurt me but...how can I know that you don't actually hurt humans?" she said quietly. Again this was something I expected but it still hurt all the same. My beautiful human mate did not trust me. We couldn't even be friends without trust. I had to show her,
"Look at my eyes Bella." she did.
"They're gold." I nodded.
"If you remember anything about what happened to you..their eyes-"
"Red...blood red." I nodded again and gave her a soft smile.
"You don't? Ever..?"
"I won't hurt you. I won't hurt Charlie. Nobody in this house will."
"Maybe I'll believe that soon." Sighing, I turned from her and stood up so I would not have to look at her anymore. My eyes instantly missed her beauty but I pushed the thought from my mind. Anger and resentment towards my father boiled up inside of me, hatred at Alice for her stupid gift filled my head. I ran my hands through my hair,
"Edward?" Bella whispered my name quietly. I forced myself to turn and face her. My name had never sounded so sweet as it fell from someones lips. Her voice was made to say my name, I thought of Alice's vision. I tried to wipe away the hurt look from my face but I knew that she could still see it, and part of me wanted her to. People should not go around acting to hateful to someone who was trying to be nice and make the best out of a bad situation. I understood that Bella had her issues with men, who wouldn't after going through what she had? But I did not do that to her, so why blame me because I was a man? I could not help that. I would never violate her in such a way. I would do anything to protect anyone from that hurt.
"Yes?" I spat and I saw Bella flinch as she heard the anger in my voice. My thoughts were quickly making me lost control of my anger but I reigned it back in. Bella whispered,
"Don't...uh take it personally or anything, I don't really trust anyone except Charlie..." I just nodded my head and did not bother to try and hide my hurt anymore. It wouldn't do any good to hide it. She frowned at me, and almost looked sorry, I didn't believe her look and she tried to speak again. "Edward I-"
"Save it." I cut her off and walked over to the chair her father had occupied. Why? Why did I have to have a mate picked for me? Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did the terrible things that made her not trust have to happen to her? I glared at the floor and curled my hands into tight fists I looked down at my powerful hands and hated myself for the strength they held, I wanted to be able to be like Isabella, and be a regular guy. One who could hold her, and teach her how to love me. I fisted my hair and tugged on it trying to ease my hurt,
"I'm sorry..." Bella whispered and she shifted down to the end of love seat closest to my chair. She leaned forward slightly and again she whispered. "I'm sorry Edward." It was barely audible and I glanced at her to see that she was hanging her head. I stood up with intentions of going to try and comfort her, but I stopped and reminded myself that she didn't like to be touched and she shouldn't want my comfort anyways.
"I-don't...don't be sorry Isabella" I said looking down at her,
"It's Bella" I sighed and nodded. Bella watched me with her eyes and flinched visibly again as I started to move. I walked to the stairs and turned to face her. We were both silent for a few minutes, all that could be hurt was the chatter of my family and her father in the kitchen. I opened my mouth several times to speak but could not seem to find the right words I wanted to say. Finally I willed my voice to work,
"Bella...I'm not that bad, we could at least be friends you know..." I whispered. She gave no sign that she heard me. "Look, I know that you could never lower yourself to think of me as more than some guy who happened to ruin you life-"
"What do you mean lower myself?" she asked defensively
"Well Bella, you act very hostile and high and mighty. I know you look down on me because of what I am but...we're a good family, we are not bad people. Do me a favor and at least be nice to my siblings. Alice wants to be your friend, give her a chance," Bella's mouth was hanging open in shock at what I'd said, but said nothing herself. So I continued my way upstairs.
"Where are you going?" she called after me when I had reached the top. I ignored her and continued to my room. "Edward?" her voice called again and I stopped as her sweet voice said my name again. I looked down over the stairs as saw her standing at the bottom.
"You seem to dislike my presence, I'm just trying to make you more comfortable." Again Isabella did not seem to have words to reply to me, so I continued and let the rejection and hatred I felt from her wash over me.
"I – Edward...Charlie will get so mad at me."
"Well, I'm sorry."
"Don't...please. I can't stand it when he's mad at me."
"Just blame me for it Bella. I'm the one walking away." I snapped. Ascending the stairs I gave her a fleeting glance as she ran her hand over her hair and sniffled. Entering my room, I laid down on my big black couch and let small dry sobs out. Edward Cullen, the lonely Cullen. At this moment in time I knew I'd be alone forever. Eternally bound to someone who would never love me.
