The Choices We Make

Rin stood outside there was one meeting left this week and she had to admit she was hoping her lord would be back before then. She felt weak and tired now that she had lost her adrenalin. She had more to do today otherwise she would be curled up in bed. "Rin-San!" Kagome called as she ran to the girl. "We heard you in the meeting, you would have made Sesshomaru-sama very proud." She laughed and gave a smile.

"You really think so?" Rin asked with a smile. She calmed down as Kagome nodded. "I think he is trying to protect me. Like he always has. He wants me to find a husband who I won't be treated like they treated me in there. I will do anything so long as I can be with my lord." Rin felt tears in her eyes. "He is my life." She whispered.

"Have you found anyone else?" Kagome asked, she knew how Rin felt. She had felt the same when she thought she would no longer get to be with Inuyasha.

"No. Atsushi-san is a good friend, but I don't think of him as anything else." Rin shook her head. "I see no one but my lord."

"Your birthday is coming closer. You don't have much longer to wait." Kagome assured the younger girl as they headed back.

"Foolish human." Sai's voice called, he blocked their way. "Sesshomaru-Sama can never truly be with you. He must have a full demon heir to the lands. You can never give him that. You will always be the other woman. No more. He will have to find a proper mate. That can not be you. You are a human, that is all you will ever be... Unless, you were to defy your lord and venture out on your own." Sai smirked.

"What do you speak of?" Kagome growled. "There is no way to become a demon from human. The jewel is gone and all hopes any one could have of doing such a thing are gone with it."

"There are other ways." Sai growled back. "A mere human has no hopes of success in becoming a demon though. It will only cause her pain and death." He smirked. "This is why I will tell her how. In the western lands there is a cave, a god was sealed there long ago. A god who can grant the wish of any one who feeds him. His hunger is insane though. His price for a single wish is a thousand souls, souls of those killed only by the wish seekers hands." He laughed. "A mere human girl could never collect so many souls."

Rin frowned at him, but she shook her head. "I will not defy my lord. His trust means to much to me." She glared. The thought was now planet in her head though. She bit her lip. She would not, could not. Sai gave a mock bow before leaving on his cloud.

Kagome walked Rin back, hoping she would forget such tales. Wishes always came with a higher price. She parted ways with Rin and changed guard duty with Kohaku.

Rin sat looking at the budget plans. She was not really reading them, her thoughts were wondering how she could collect a thousand souls and become a demon so she could stay with her love forever. Everything she could think of involved lying though. She frowned and placed the parchment down. The servants around her whispered. They had not seen the girl seeming so unhappy. If it was found to be their fault... Sesshomaru would be displeased.

Rin meet with only a few suitors and then called it a night. She didn't sleep much as she was still thinking about what Sai had said. She groaned and threw a pillow over her head. Really, what was she going to do. Maybe she didn't have to lie though. Maybe she could just leave out the details? She could tell him she wanted to travel his lands... But no way he'd let her go alone... And kill for herself. She sighed. Kagome would be against the idea... She already was. No one would go with her and let her do what she wanted to do.

The screen to her door opened, Rin jumped up in surprise as a demon entered. She knew the woman, but couldn't place her. "Hello, Rin-San." The voice hit Rin. It was one she knew for such only more feminine. "I over heard you on the grounds with Sai-San." The woman walked into the room and took a seat on the mat. "I have heard of what he speaks. I know it is a very tempting idea for you, who loves my son so much."

"Hai." Rin bowed. "I have been thinking it over..." Rin admitted with her head down.

"But you will not disobey him?" The dog demon smirked at the nod Rin gave. "Then I have an answer for you problem. I will lie to him for you. I will tell him I wish to get to know the one who could be my daughter in the future." She smirked.

"Why would you do that for me?" Rin asked confused.

"Because it is true. I would like to find out what makes you so important to my son. I can not let him mate with a human though. So as I see it, to make you both happy you don't have a choice in the matter." She laughed lightly. "I will not save your life again though. So if you die so does the delima I have."

Rin nodded, understanding the issue and solution given to her. "Hai, I would be honored to be given the chance." Rin smiled brightly. "I will not be a bother to you..." She added. Sesshomaru's mother nodded and stood. "I will tell him once he arrives home. And Rin...?"

"Nanni?" Rin looked at the beautiful mother of her love.

"Be sure you know what you get into before we depart." She spoke in a light tone as she left the room.


It was a cold morning when they departed. Sesshomaru and Atsushi watched them leave with a few guards following them. It had almost been a fight to get her son to agree. She had won though with Rin's help. The two now walked the forests with little supplies. Once they were far enough away Rin was faced with a small demon. One who reminded her of her Jakken. He was not much of a demon, not much at all. She cried for his soul, now trapped in a vase Sesshomaru's mother had brought. She had promised to keep count for the human girl. Rin cried for the souls she killed, she cried each time she killed for herself and the demon and everyone.

She was selfish. She was cruel. She knew this. She could not stop though. She had to complete the task and become a demon for herself and her love. She wondered if he would still want her once he realised how cruel she had been. Once he smelt the blood on her hands. She walked with her face down. Ashamed of herself. She killed anything that she could humans and demons alike. She was on a time limit. One month was all the time she had. 30 days to collect a thousand souls. About 33 lives a day. She went over on some days and fewer on others. Rest was little and she had to force herself to make time to eat.

Sesshomaru's mother watched her. She felt pity on the girl, who had cried for 338 souls and didn't seem to have plans on stopping the killing or the tears. She never thought the girl would really go through with it. She never thought she would be able to see what her son saw in the child. To see how she cared for things she never new of. To be so pure to cry for each soul she took and move on. To feel the pain but no she had to continue to feel it. It awe struck the demoness. It confused her, it went against human nature. The two found little time to talk as they continued on their task.

Rin woke and searched for a soul, she searched for more then forced food into her system, she searched more and more and more before sleeping for a short time. She spent her day searching and her nights. She was beaten and bloody, she was not the best fighter nor the smartest but she had heart and never gave up. Sesshomaru's mother keep her word, she never stepped in to help or protect her. Everything was on track until the last week. Rin was running out of souls to collect. Running out of those who traveled alone. She was also about to meet an enemy...

The dog demon was on alert, aware of the one following them. She had no doubt there was no way the girl could beat Sai, also no doubt he had known Rin would do anything to be with Sesshomaru. They were headed to the cave, a days walk way at least maybe a day and a half as they still needed ten souls. The demoness had though Rin would see the point in bringing the guards, but the girl had yet to place their role in this task. The seven guards of low class who did nothing to protect the human girl, just followed blindly behind the two females lack much skills. They had yet to find a soul in a day. The girl continued to search though. The dog demon felt sorry for her 'daughter'. Sorry she was not as bright as she had given her credit for. It seemed she would need a push to get the role the guards played. "Rin-San, there are a few souls to collect hanging around you know." She spoke softly to the worn out girl. The girl who smiled now as she cried for those she killed.

"Iie..." The girl whispered. Sesshomaru's mother tilted her head, so she had thought of this? "They... are under my care. They are those who stay on Lord Sesshomaru's land and serve him with no care to their lives. They will be my people soon." Rin smiled at the demons who had backed away as they caught the conversation, they looked between each other. "They have served us with out question. They are my friends." She added looking up at the sky. "They are not souls for the feast, they are... Friends." She nodded, she was tired... So tired. So... She was so close. She had to go on. She had to find the souls. She had to continue. She had to... A noise. She turned heading for the noise, blind instinct for the kill for the soul that would lead her to happiness.

She caught her breath as she saw the mismatched family. The small half-demon children running around their human father while their mother of a demon class hung clothes to dry. They all looked at her. She shook her head and bowed. "Gomen..." She apologized as she turned and walked back. She could not rip a family apart. She could not watch as she did so at least. It had been easy at the start, souls found her. They smelled the human blood of her and came for her. Now she smelled of demon blood and they ran.

Rin found a soul to take by nightfall, she didn't feel like resting though as she needed more souls. She searched and searched until she passed out form lack of sleep. Sesshomaru's mother shook her head at the girl. She was being unreasonable. There were souls around her to take. They were not friends of hers, they did not speak to her. They didn't even like her. So why spare them? She did not understand, but did not push the girl. When Rin woke she started again, glad to find three souls in a few hours. That was all the luck she had it seemed.

Six more to go. Six more lives to take so she could have her wish. Rin felt sick, sick at the thought that she was capable of this... She hide her face in her hair and cried. She was left alone for the moment and took the time to cry. She wiped her tears on her arm as a voice spoke to her. "Harder than you thought?" She snapped up at the voice. The same that had given her the idea in the first place.

"Sai-san..." She whispered. Confused as to why he was there. "What do you want?"

"I'm here to stop you."


A/n: Thank you for the lovely reviews! Only a few chapters are left then a holiday special! Yeah I didn't want to make up a name for Sesshomaru's mother...Gomen!