Dear Rachel;

You're beautiful. Did you know that? When I told you for the first time this year, you know, when I was sick with mono and you came in to help me and stuff, I said that to you. But I meant it, Rach, and I still do. You are the most beautiful girl I've had the pleasure of meeting. And you should know that, Rachel. You think you aren't pretty, or you think that Quinn is prettier than you, or some other self-esteem crushing thoughts, and you're wrong. And that's why today, in Glee, I told you to stop. Because if you get a nose job, you'll be hurting your beauty and your perfect face, and I don't think I'd be the only one who thinks so. You are such a wonderful, pure person, and I don't want you to ever change, ever. I don't give a fuck about what that doctor said, because he was sure as hell wrong. And he didn't even think you were that attractive! I'm still kinda pissed off at him.

But anyway, back to the whole memory-a-letter thing. What about the first time you told me what you hated about yourself? Which should be nothing, but you had something anyway.

We were watching one of those romantic comedies (don't tell Puck I watched it though) and you were all snuggled into my chest and there was a nude scene. I thought you would turn away and tell Angelina off or something, but you started crying. You cried into my chest and you were shaking and I had no idea what was wrong. So I stopped the movie, and I pulled you into my lap, and I rocked you back and forth really slow. But you kept crying, so I kissed your head and shushed you quietly.

"Shhh…what's wrong, Rach? I stopped the movie, it's over." I said softly in your ear. You just cried harder. "Rachel…you have to talk to me, because I'm getting worried now." You looked up at me and your eyes filled up more and you could barely talk right.

"I-I-I'm so ugly, Finn. I l-l-look so gross a-and, and fat and awful compared to Angelina and…I don't know how you e-even look at me without being r-repulsed." You sobbed, and I saw your defenses all broken and stuff. But I almost couldn't stop myself from yelling at you, because that is the furthest thing from the truth. I put my hands on your cheeks and tilted your head to look up at me.

"Listen to me, Rachel Berry. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met in my life, and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know what you see when you look into the mirror, but when I look at you, I die a little inside because Heaven probably lost its star angel and can't find her. And I feel bad that I have her in my arms, but then I remember that she loves me and I love her, and I don't care what happens anymore." You shook your head and my hands fell from your face.

"You're wrong, Finn, I'm just an ugly girl who—" I didn't let you finish your sentence. I fiercely kissed you, biting your lip, licking your teeth, stroking your face. Your hands found their way into my hair and you kissed me back too, and I poured all my feelings about you into our lips. I broke the kiss to gently nip your neck, and I whispered "let me show you how beautiful you are." And you giggled and you fell into my arms and I swept you up and carried you to your room, where I playfully tossed you onto the bed.

"Come here, Finny!" You said, and you patted the bed like I was a dog. I barked, then winked at you, and I hopped on the bed next to you and I kissed you. You got on top of me and we began making out. It was super hot, Rach. But anyway, we were making out, and you pulled away from me and began kissing my neck like I kissed yours, and you planted soft butterfly kisses on my shoulder and then licked them after your lips touched them. You kissed me again, and your hand moved south, and I had to force my eyes shut to not be so turned on.

But I mailman'd and almost ruined it. Almost. I pulled it together right as you licked my neck. I rolled right on top of you, and you giggled as we began to get the pace back to where it was. We went on for another ten minutes, and then we finally stopped. You had your face pressed against my side, and I laughed.

"You're gorgeous, baby." I said, nuzzling your hair with my nose. You smiled and looked up at me again.

"You really think so?" You asked.

"Absolutely." I wrapped my arms around you and we were just lying down on your bed for a while.

But Rachel, nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, has changed since then. Just because that asshat doctor said you "need a nose job", doesn't mean that you should get one. I am so sorry about your nose, I didn't mean to break it. But you don't need one, because you and your nose are so beautiful, and you should never want to change that about yourself.

Or anything, for that matter.

I miss you, Rachel.

Finny Bear