Chapter 4
When Horatio opened his eyes two days later, there was one thing he wanted to see when he turned around in bed. He wanted to see Marisol, either being still asleep or already awake and watching him. She had done that a lot and he hadn't always caught her doing so. But the photos she had taken of him and showed him later, had been enough evidence. She had always told him, that he looked so different while he slept, younger and peaceful. Maybe even more vulnerable, but she had loved this side of him. He had just blushed and ducked his head to hide his embarrassment, while she had laughed and kissed him.
Now, all he wanted was to relive such a moment. He wanted to feel her fingers carefully running through his hair. He wanted to feel her breath against his neck, her arms around him. He wanted to feel her lips on his skin and her smile when he shivered thanks to her touch. He wanted to turn around and breathe in her perfume, feel the warmth of her body. He wanted to chide her, because of her cold feet and he wanted to see the mocking glare he got in response. He wanted his wife back. And knowing that this would never happen again made him feel incredible sad.
With a sigh he turned around and kept his eyes closed. There was no need to see what he already knew, namely that the other side of his bed was deserted. So it was a big surprise, when he heard a noise that didn't belong into the room. Confused he furrowed his brows and thought he must have been mistaken, but when he heard it again, he carefully opened his eyes and was stunned. Slowly he sat up and looked down onto his little guest.
Elena was wide awake and kicked her feet, while she tried to focus on the other person in bed.
Confused Horatio looked around, but there was no one but them in the bedroom. Gulping, he took a deep breath and carefully reached to her. She was so tiny, so brittle and yet…so beautiful. "Hey there…," he said softly and smiled when her head turned into the direction of his voice. Hesitantly he ran his thumb over her tiny hand and held back a sob when she grabbed it. He had never felt such a feeling before and the way she looked at him with her blue eyes was overwhelming. "Hey," he said again and softly stroked her head which was covered with a brown floccus. "What are you doing here?" he asked her, though he didn't expect an answer.
Elena just kicked her feet again and when Horatio touched her cheek she immediately turned her head to his finger and tried to suck on it.
In awe he let her suck his finger and felt his eyes begin to sting. This was absolutely incredible. "It's me…Daddy…"
***
Standing in the doorway, Marta listened and watched in silence the scene between Horatio and Elena and immediately felt her heart ache. It had hit her hard, that Horatio hadn't been at the wake and at first she had been shocked when she hadn't seen see him at the funeral, but Alexx had told her later on that her son-in-law however had indeed been at the service. She also remembered the words her good friend had told her about him and that Horatio still had to deal with the death of his best friend Tim Speedle, who had died just little over 2 years ago. Tim had been a friend of the Delko family as well and so Marta could understand Horatio in some way. But yet she had felt slightly mad about him, for his poor attempt to run away and that he left his family, especially his daughter, back alone.
Now when she saw how gently he touched the infant and how he spoke with her...all of her doubts were gone. Horatio would be a caring and loving father. Sighing, she realized that this had been the exact words from Marisol when she had told her parents about the pregnancy. Marta smiled softly and still stood there in awe. First she had come here to get some new clothes for Elena this morning, since the parents-to-be had bought so many things a baby needed, including tons of dresses, too. When she had seen Horatio's car in the driveway, Marta had gulped hard, not knowing how the man would react meeting them. But her fears had quickly vanished, when she'd found him asleep in the bedroom. In an instant, she had laid the tiny bundle next to him and had decided to leave the two alone; praying to god that Horatio wouldn't do something stupid again.
Coming back and now standing here, she was glad that she had left Elena with him, even if Pavel still wasn't too happy about it. He still was very angry with Horatio and she would have to talk to her husband as soon as possible. Even if she wanted to watch father and daughter much longer, she knew she had to do something. So she cleared her throat and slowly peeked inside the room. "She's beautiful, isn't she? Just like her mother," she said softly so she wouldn't scare both of them while she stepped in.
Nevertheless Horatio cringed when he heard Marta's voice and carefully turned his head towards her. "Yeah...she is...," he agreed and then looked down at Elena again. "Do you...do you want to take her back?" he asked insecurely, not knowing why Marta was here in his home. It wasn't that she had never visited them, but mostly she had visited her daughter of course and not him specifically.
"Why should I?" she asked back curiously.
Horatio shrugged and continued to stroke his daughter's fingers. "Because I was a bad father...," he then said and felt miserable about his behavior towards his daughter.
Carefully, she sat down next to them and nodded. "Yes, you were. But now, you're the best father Elena can get. You love her, that's all that matters." She took one foot of her granddaughter in her hand and started to caress it. "She should stay here. Where she belongs."
He seriously doubted that he was the best father for Elena, he really did. "But I don't know...how...," he sighed and bowed his head. In the morning, after he had found Elena, he had almost been overchallenged. He had wanted to have a shower, but wasn't sure if he could leave her alone. The next thing had been a change of diapers, which hadn't worked as well as he had wanted to. "Let's face it Marta, I have no idea when it comes to babies...it..it wasn't planned like that," he admitted to her.
Looking at his face, she saw the uncertainness in it and she drew nearer to him. "No, it wasn't planned this way," she confirmed sadly. "But that doesn't mean you can't learn to take care of her, does it? It won't be easy, that's for sure. But we're a family. We can do it. So you can." There was no way she would give Elena away, but it was clear to her that Horatio had to accept responsibility for his child. "Elena has already lost her mother...," she hesitated shortly, "don't let her lose her father, too."
"No, I won't," he shook his head and smiled sadly at the infant in his arms. "I already love her too much to let that happen." It had only taken Elena a moment, a second to claim her father's love for her and now she wasn't willing to give it back again and in truth, Horatio didn't want her to. "I just don't know what to do, you know? It was…Marisol...who had read all the books, had searched in the Internet for tips...and asked you for advice."
"And now it's you asking me," Marta nodded, tapping him slightly on the shoulder to give him some kind of reassurance. "I've raised four children, there's nothing you couldn't handle, believe me. Speaking of," she frowned, "...okay, you can't feed her like it's planned by nature...but even that can be managed. Alexx bought very good baby-food." Luckily she had some of it with her. Being a mother herself she knew better than not to leave the house without any baby-food. "And that's what we're doing next. The little angel here needs to be fed every two or three hours even though that will be changing soon. So...ready for the battle?" she teased him slightly, hoping to lighten up his mood a bit.
"I already had a battle with a diaper today and I nearly lost it," he told her and gave her something that looked like a smile. "I'm not sure if I'm up to another," he continued, but his daughter had other ideas. Suddenly she made a face and told him very clearly that she was hungry now. At first, Horatio looked shocked, not being sure if he had hurt her accidentally, but when he saw Marta's grin, he rolled his eyes. "I guess...it's too late to run again, huh?"
"Don't even think about it, Mr. Caine," the older woman told him with a stern look on her face, but then smiled mildly. "I'm in no position to say 'I know what you're going through', still I lost my daughter, too. The grief is overwhelming, but it will go away. You have to believe that." Being catholic, she had no doubt about it. "Mari is gone...but...she left us something very special and we have to give our best to take care of Elena."
"Yes...you're right." Elena was everything that he had left of his wife, in Elena a part of her would always be alive, even now. "I'm so sorry I ran away, Marta. You have no idea of how sorry I am..."
Shaking her head, she reached for his cheek. "Now's not the time to discuss that. I'm not saying that we...Pavel and me...will have a serious talk with you about that. But right now we have an urgency. At least according to your daughter," she explained and looked at the loud crying infant. "Shhh, Sweetie...," Marta mumbled, gently stroking the head with the dark hair. "Daddy will give you something to eat, real soon. Everything is alright now."
"Okay, thank you Marta... I mean...thank you that you took her while...," he shook his head. Marta was right. This was neither the right time, nor the right place to talk about it. "Then, let's go to the kitchen, shall we? I don't want my daughter getting starved or something."
***
Twenty minutes later, Horatio sat on the couch again and watched his daughter while he fed her. It was fascinating for him, seeing her like this. Marta had explained how he should mix the dried milk and of what he had to pay attention too before and after the feeding. "She has quite an appetite," he smiled, "must be a Caine thing," he added amused.
Marta sat proudly next to her son-in-law and nodded. "Watch out for her head and don't let her drink too much at a time. You're doing fine. One step at a time. And oh, yes...she's a good eater. We've already noticed that."
"Well she wants to be a big girl in the future," Horatio smiled and gave his daughter a chance to breath. "Don't be so hasty, Ellie," he chided her lovingly. "What about the team? Have they seen her already?" he looked at Marta when he continued the feeding.
"Yes, they have. Eric made sure of that. He loves to be an uncle. And everyone asked if they can help in any way. I found that very nice of them. You have good friends, Horatio."
"That I have," he agreed wholeheartedly and nodded. "I guess Alexx has already embraced her in the family," he chuckled. This would be his Alexx. Sighing he brought his task back into focus and shook his head when he noticed that the bottle was already empty. "My...that's my daughter."
"Alexx didn't want to give her back," Marta chuckled as she remembered the first meeting of the two ladies. Then she looked at the bottle. "I think that's enough. You have to watch out if she drinks properly. After that, lift her up carefully, put her on your shoulder. So that she can burp up. But you shouldn't forget to put a cloth under it. It's safer that way."
"Yeah, for my clothes obviously," he laughed and nodded a thanks when Marta handed him a cloth. He quickly put it on his shoulder and with a little help from grandma, he positioned Elena over his shoulder, so her stomach was resting against his chest. Gently he patted her on the back and rubbed it in a circular motion. "Give Daddy a burp," he talked to her and grinned widely when he heard the specific sound. "Good girl," he praised her proudly.
"Yes, that she is," Marta confirmed, touching Elena's cheek gently. "If she gets sleepy, you put her in her bed on her back, not her stomach. Be sure that she is tucked in safely, but watch out that she doesn't sweat. Okay?" She knew that these were many advices for one day, but she had faith in Horatio. "If anything comes up, you can call us or Alexx anytime, 24/7. Have you...," she wanted to know, "...have you looked for a Nanny already? How about your work?" There were many things that still needed to be clarified, even if the time seemed wrong to start talking about it.
Horatio tried his best to store these things in his memory, because he knew they were very important and he hoped that he wouldn't forget anything. "Uhm, to be honest, no...I haven't," he answered and sighed. "I...I didn't have the head to do that...I must admit. I..we...we planned that Marisol would stay at home, while I would go to work like always and," he rubbed his forehead, "well...I still have some vacation time left and...I think I'll stay at home with her for the next two weeks, afterwards...I have no idea...", he not only sounded a bit helpless, but actually felt helpless. "To be honest, I don't even know where to look after a Nanny and if I can trust her enough to stay with Ellie."
Marta nodded in understanding. "If you like...I can take her while you're at work. But you should reduce your overtime." She knew from Marisol and even Eric that Horatio tended to work long hours. "It's not good to work for so long. Not if you have a little one at home."
Slightly embarrassed, Horatio ducked his head. His family knew him far too well for his liking, but he knew that Marta was right. "I know and I will do that....I will talk to the chief and explain the situation to him." He and the chief got along well, as long as they didn't argue about new equipment for the lab. "I'm sure that we will find a way. The team doesn't need me as much as it used to, they've grown up and even Ryan is slowly but surely finding his place." He was certain that his team could manage when he didn't work overtime, or at least not so often. "You would take her? Really?"
"I'm shocked that you even dare to ask," she smiled at him. "Of course I would take her. Our Little Miss Sunshine. She's so lovely." Again, she stroked the tiny head with the palm of her hand. "It's our responsibility. Think about it, it's your choice." Looking at her watch, she said: "I better go now. Pavel is going to be worried. Time went by faster than I thought."
"I will definitely do that, Marta. Thank you for the offer," Horatio nodded and stood up with her. "Please tell Pavel that...oh well...I don't even know what you could tell him. I will give you a call when I need your help and when I made my decision. Thanks for coming and helping me with this little sleepyhead," he grinned and walked her to the door.
Giving first Horatio a quick kiss on his cheek, after she had made him to bend a bit down, Marta placed a kiss on Elena's dark hair. "Vaya con dios," she whispered into her ear and then she turned to step out of the house. First she would call her husband to tell him that everything was fine with her and then Eric to do the same. But then something else came into her mind and she turned around. "Uhm , we...we placed all of the presents into the nursery and...we still have some flowers and greeting cards at home. If you want to, we can bring those over to you," she informed him, but didn't need an answer right now. "Just for your information. It doesn't matter right now, I think."
"That's...that's fine. Thank you. I will call you about that, too," he smiled. "See you soon Marta and drive carefully please."
"Will do," she nodded, letting out a sigh of relieve as she walked to her car. "See you, Horatio and Elena," she waved towards them, got into the car and drove away.
