Akatsuki Discoveries IV: A coffee a day keeps the Tobi Hyper.

Dawn: HELLO PPL! :D

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!

Dawn: Why the hell is this broadcast room always been hacked? I thought it was supposed to be private!

Riku: Too bad I let them cos I get COOKIES!

Dawn: Riku, Get. Out. Of. Here. NOW. *insert evil sharingan glare

Riku: O.O

Itachi: Dawn does not own Naruto. Naruto belongs to Kishi and I have longed to kill him.

Dawn: Thanks, weasel-kun. (And you don't have to say the last part)

Itachi: Hn.

*Sasuke enters

Itachi: SASUKE! *chases Sasuke out of the room

Dawn: -.-lll They never change...

Note: Hi – Black Zetsu

Hi – White Zetsu

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It was a boring day. So boring that I almost wanted to describe how beautiful the sun is. Just then...

"Hey guys, I got this weird machine thingy in Konoha today!" Kisame beamed as he walked in.

"Kisame, why are you in the leaf village?"

"Itachi missed the dangoes in Konoha, so he forced me to accompany him to the dango shop."

"What. The. Hell. Itachi. You know you don't have to run all the way to your village just to eat dangoes. We still have some in the fridge." Sasori said.

"Hn."

"Kisame, how much did that thing cost?"

"It's free, dude!" the shark-nin exclaimed.

"Hey hey, motherfuckers. Can't you see I'm praying to my beloved Jashin just now?" A very pissed, (and naked) Hidan came out of his room.

"Put on some pants, loser." Kakuzu sighed.

"YAYA WHAT'S UP, PISS? I know you are fucking jealous of that fucking smexy dick I have!" Hidan yelled, and smirked when half the Akatsuki were seemingly disgusted by his statement.

"Hidan, everyone knows that Itachi is more popular than you." Kisame sweatdropped.

"Shut the fuck up, fish face. That Uchiha's ass isn't as smexy as mine!"

"Hidan, go discuss your horny subjects with that tree." Kakuzu said, apparently annoyed.

"No! Go and discuss with the clouds, trees are friends, fools." White Zetsu said.

"SILENCE!" Pein's voice boomed across the hideout. "And Kisame, may I know what does that machine do?"

"It's a coffee machine, sir."

"What's that?"

"I heard it before when I was still in my village, un. Apparently that old man (Onoki) drinks that everyday to keep himself awake, un."

"So, it gives your more energy for work, huh? I bet Hidan needs to drink it everyday to keep him awake when he is on a mission." Kakuzu pointed.

"Hey, shut it, asshole! I sleep because your missions are fucking boring!" Hidan yelled from his room.

" Yeah right, you sacrificed every single person we kill, is that not interesting?"

Just then, Tobi entered the room, wearing Hello Kitty pyjamas.

"Tobi, how old are you, un?" Deidara sighed.

"Can Tobi try coffee?" Tobi asked innocently.

"NO!" Everyone screamed.

"But Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cried.

" Tobi, I dare you to go to your room and stay there forever, un." Deidara said.

Oh, are we playing truth or dare? Tobi wants to play! Tobi shall be a good boy and stay in his room forever!" Tobi chirped excitedly, before skipping back to his room.

"Says the one who is actually the real Akatsuki leader." Kisame sweatdropped.

~Timeskip~

Its 2am in the morning. All the Akatsuki members have went to bed. Just then, Tobi crept out of his room.

"Tobi is hungry!" He thought.

"Hm, maybe some coffee will help to ease the hungry!" Tobi thought it was a brilliant idea.

So, our good boy poured some coffee and drank it. What happens next will be up to you to imagine.

~Timeskip 6 hours later~

Deidara, who was never a morning person, was still sleeping soundly in his bed, with his alarm clock being struck by a kunai against the wall. He, however, was oblivious to the shadowy figure behind him.

"Good morning, sempai!" Tobi screamed at the top of his lungs.

Deidara was jolted awake.

"Tobi, you ba-" Deidara grabbed his clay, ready to shower his art onto to Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi chanted out loud as he ran around his sempai's room in circles.

"Tobi, what the hell,un." Deidara sweatdropped. "Get out of my room NOW, UN!"

"Tobi is a good boy and shall now go wake up Itachi!" The good bot said happily as he bounced to his Itachi's room, but no without grabbing Deidara's clay pouch.

"Tobi! Get back here!" A very pissed bomber yelled from his room.

~With Itachi~

Itachi was sleeping in his room, dreaming about Sasuke. Anyone who was a member of Akatsuki knows never to wake Itachi up from his sleep. Not even Pein dared to enter his room when he's asleep. The Uchiha chooses when to wake up everyday. Sometimes, he would wake up at three in the morning, whereas on another occasion, he would sleep till noon.

"ITACHI-SAN! WAKEY-WAKEY!" Tobi screamed as he crashed through the door.

Sharingan eyes flashes at Tobi, who was bouncing around screaming him being a good boy.

"Oh, hi Itachi-san! How are you! I'm sure you are well and afresh today! Tobi chirped oblivious of the deadly aura surrounding the Uchiha.

"Tobi, you have 5 seconds to get out before I send you to my mangekyo world."

"Tobi shall go wake Kisame up now!" Tobi said as he hopped to the next room.

"Hn." Itachi grunted, noticing that something was obviously upside down today.

~With Kisame~

Kisame was sleeping, hugging Samehada as he sleeps.

"Kisame-san!" Tobi burst open the door and went straight to Samehada and started waving it wildly at the shark-nin.

"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kisame screamed like a girl as he witnessed his sword being abused by the good boy.

"Tobi is a good boy." Tobi chanted as he swung the sword, almost hitting Kisame.

"Tobi, put Samehada down before I butcher you!" Kisame shouted angrily. But the good boy already left with Samehada before he finished his sentence.

~~With Hidan

The Jashinist was lying on his bed, with his shirt open, and snoring loudly. The main reason why the Akatsuki members didn't live together is because Kakuzu hated Hidan's snores as it's just too annoying, and hence Pein made everyone have there own rooms.

"HIDAN-SAN!" Tobi yelled. "TIME TO EAT YOUR CEREAL!"

"TOBI, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Hidan jolted awake and started cussing and swearing at the good boy. Wow, way to start a day.

"I swear to Lord Jashin that I shall chop your fucking ass down, and then burn your fucking dick, and slice your fucking body into bits and pieces, and feed it to the fucking bitches who drools on my scythe everyday, and THEN sacrifice your fucking soul to Jashin!" Hidan cussed.

"WOW, TOBI JUST LEARNT 10 NEW WORDS TODAY! WHAT DOES *censored for your safety* MEAN?" the curious good boy asked as he grabbed Hidan's scythe and swinging it around.

"TOBI, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Hidan screamed, but Tobi already ran off to his next victim.

~With Kakuzu~

Kakuzu, unlike most of the Akatsuki members, was actually a morning person. He would wake up at 6am in the morning so that he could count his money peacefully, as by 7am, Kisame and Tobi would be awake and Tobi would be causing a ruckus in the kitchen. Sometimes, Itachi would be awake but he didn't mind him since Itachi never came into his room.

"KAKUZU-SAN!"Tobi flew into his room, but not without stepping and slipping on his money. Just then, Kakuzu noticed one of the notes being torn apart. He had a heart attack and fainted.

"KAKUZU-SAN'S DEAD!" Tobi screamed. "TOBI SHALL BE A GOOD BOY AND REVIVE HIM!" He said as he did CPR on Kakuzu.

When Kakuzu finally recovered, he was so mad that Tobi was touching his chest, that he went rage mode and attempted to kill Tobi, but the good boy was nowhere to be seen.

~With Zetsu~

Zetsu was whistling a tune as he watered the flowers. Just then, Tobi leapt out from the bushes and hugged him so tightly that he almost went out of breath.

"Tobi! You are choking us!" Zetsu said.

"OHHHH, TOBI IS SO SORRY!" Tobi got down, but unfortunately stepped on one of the flowers, which happened to be Zetsu's favourite.

"TOBI! What have you done to Mary!" Zetsu screamed and cried when he saw his favourite flower being stepped on.

"That's it! You are gonna be lunch today!" Zetsu roared, but Tobi disappeared again.

~With Sasori~

"SASORI-SAN!" Tobi screamed as he broke the puppeteers' door.

Sasori, being overwhelmed by Tobi's screams, accidentally broke his own arm while trying to fix the puppet. Tobi, being a good boy, grabbed the arm and ran away with it, while holding Deidara's clay pouch, Itachi's picture of Sasuke, Kisame's Samehada, Hidan's scythe, Kakuzu's broken heart, and Zetsu's dead flower.

"Tobi! Get back here!" A pissed off puppet yelled as he chased after Tobi. Apparently no one was allowed to go into Sasori's room other than Deidara (who always manages to sneak in and stuff bombs in his puppets), or he will turn you into a human puppet.

~With Pein and Konan~

Pein and Konan was doing their usual, making out on their king sized bed. They were sprawled naked on the bed, making out, when our favourite good boy clashed in. Both of them turned into a thousand shades of red when Tobi came in.

"HELLO SIR LEADER AND KONAN-SAN! WHY ARE YOU NAKED? CAN I TRY OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING?" Tobi asked innocently.

The couple got dressed immediately. "Shinra Tensei!" Pein shouted as a vein popped out on his head as he pushed Tobi to the nearest wall. Just then, an entire horde of angry Akatsuki members came running into Pein's room, clearing pissed for getting their morning call. If I saw that, I swear I would just run out immediately and jump off the cliff. No one would want to see an entirely pissed off Akatsuki chasing after you.

"That bastard stole my clay, un!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY SAMEHADA!"

"Mary!"

"GIMME MY FUCKING SCYTHE BACK, YOUR BITCH!"

"You are gonna pay a billion bucks for tearing my note, and killing me."

"Hn,"

"Tobi, I want my arm back, NOW!"

"SILENCE!" Pein was extremely pissed off. Not only did someone interrupt his heaven session with Konan, but he also started a day with a commotion. (Pein hates commotions, ppl.)

The entire Akatsuki froze. No one ever wanted to make Pein angry, except Tobi, of course. "Tobi, what did you eat last night."

"OHHHHHHH! TOBI DRANK COFFEE LAST NIGHT! IT TASTED GOOD, AND EVEN BETTER WITH SUGAR AN MILK!" Tobi exclaimed.

... Awkward silence...

"Remind me to keep the coffee machine away from Tobi." Pein said.

Just then, Tobi kept a hyper rush within him, and ran off into his room. He came out in a tutu outfit, with a swan sticking out from his... ugh... I'm not descibing it to you guys. (Similar to the one in the Rock Lee spinoff) Then he started to dance ballet.

"Holy fuck." Hidan said.

Everyone stood there wide-eyed.

Just then, Madara (yes, the real one) came out of nowhere and started taking pictures.

"Bravo! Superbe! Magnifique!"Madara said in a French accent.

"Madara, what are you doing?" Pein asked.

"Haven't you heard of 'Uchiha's Paradise'? It's a hit magazine that every missing-nin in the shinobi world reads!"

"I've never heard about it."

"Great! This will make a hit in the magazine!" Madara exclaimed happily as he took my pictures of Tobi in different cosplaying costumes.

'"Hn." Itachi grunted.

"Oh, hey, lil' bro, ya wan' me to leave? Fine then." Madara said disappointedly as he poofed away.

"Jeez, I thought he was dead."

"Hn."

"Sometimes I just don't get Uchihas, un."

Everyone sighed, as they watch Tobi run around in circles in a wedding gown. It would be a hectic week, or month, ahead for them.

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Dawn: That's it people, seeya!

Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! *crashes through window

Dawn: *sweatdrops Why did this happen here too...

Riku: Oops, I fed him a dose of sugar...

Dawn: ... *deadly aura forms

Riku: Well, I guess I gotta go, hehe...

Dawn: GET BACK HERE, YOU- *screen cuts off

Please R&R ^^ Suggestions and criticism and always welcome:)

Seeya ^^