I don't own Harry Potter, anything to do with Harry Potter, Taylor Swift, her song "Sparks Fly", or Speak Now. I don't own anything, I'm a kid! Also, I know I'm skipping around in the song, but if you read the lyrics you'll understand if I want Jily to happen in the end how the song prevents that. Hope you don't mind!
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world
But with you I know it's no good
And I could wait patiently but
I really wish you would
Lily plopped down on the couch and let it out. The day she had just had was absolutely dreadful. She had gotten a C on her Transfiguration test, gotten scolded by Professor Binns, and had been called a mudblood all of 32 times in one day. It didn't help that more than half of her classes had at least one Slytherin in them. But that wasn't even the worst part. She had just received an owl at lunch from her sister letting her know that Petunia was engaged to the horrid Vernon she'd been dating, and didn't want Lily to come, no matter what their mother said. Lily was just so tired of trying to be brave and hard as a rock, so she cried. That's when she heard the portrait door open. She quickly wiped her tears and blew her nose before the Marauders bounded in. She cast a non-verbal enchantment that cleaned up her face before she looked up. She saw Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James walking in laughing. James's face lit up when he saw Lily and Sirius ran towards her out of breath from whatever he had been doing before.
"Oh my god, Lily, I'm so glad you're here! You'll never guess what happened!" Sirius said in between breaths, jumping up and down like an overexcited puppy. Remus started laughing as he smiled at Lily and Peter sat down on the couch. James popped up next to Sirius and tried to calm him.
"Sirius, it really was not that funny, calm down. Breathe! Inhale and then exhale." James said as he looked at Lily funnily. Lily awkwardly held his gaze and looked back at Sirius, scared that James might've realized that she was upset earlier.
"Tell me, Sirius. What happened that's got you jumping off the walls?" Lily asked avoiding James.
"Snivellus got caught! He was about to curse a second year when James decided to step up and tried to stop him. I don't know why he didn't just curse him too, but hey that's James's problem. Anyways, Snivellus didn't care and cast the curse anyways and James dove in front of the second year and took the hit!" Sirius said happily. Lily gaped in awe and looked at James who flashed her a shy smile and looked at the ground.
"Wow James, that was a heroic thing to do." Lily said staring at James. James looked up at her and scoffed.
"Lily, it wasn't heroic, it was the right thing to do. I'm sure anyone would've done it." James commented.
"Yeah, but no one else did, you did." Lily said. James down casted his eyes again.
"Continue with the story, Sirius." James muttered as Sirius continued.
"Yeah so anyways, other than good old Prongs being a hero and what-not, I haven't even gotten to the best part. McGonagall saw the WHOLE thing and caught Snivellus in the act! I reckon he's get a month's worth of detention or even worse!" Sirius ended ecstatically as he rambled on about the different punishments Snape might get.
"What if they stick him in the Whomping Willow on the night with a full moon?" Peter said wickedly. After he said that, Remus looked sick and James looked furious.
"Peter, you know better than to joke about that." James snarled at Peter who looked horrified at what he'd just said. Lily had never heard James use that tone with anyone, ever.
"Um, Peter I think it's time we go get some food. C'mon Remus." Sirius said as he put his arm around Remus and Peter and pulled them out of the Heads' Common Room, obviously trying to avoid a fight. James watched them go, his eyes glued to the back of Peter's head as they walked out. After they left, James continued to stand there, running his hands nervously through his hair and his back facing Lily. Lily decided to try and calm him and pulled him towards the couch. They sat down and James sat rigidly, burying his head in his hands.
"May I ask what that was all about?" Lily said as she stroked his back comfortingly. James looked at her sadly. Lily pulled his head into her lap, pulled off his glasses, and began massaging his head, trying to comfort him as much as she could. She couldn't bear to see James this unhappy. This is not what MATES do, Lily Evans, a voice in her head said but she promptly ignored it, putting James before herself. They sat like that for a little while, before James decided to speak.
"Okay, I'm ready to talk." James said as he pulled himself out of Lily's lap and shifted himself towards Lily. Lily did the same, and now they were sitting face to face.
"Then talk." Lily said encouragingly when James said nothing.
"Well I guess it was nice being friends with you seeing as you're probably going to hate me for this." James said miserably.
"I highly doubt that, James." Lily said as she interlocked their hands, ignoring the sparks buzzing on her skin.
"Yeah, well, we'll see. Okay, so I don't know if you knew but during our fourth year, there was a werewolf living on the grounds." James said, searching Lily's face for the obvious shock and awe that should have followed his statement but didn't. Lily just smiled knowingly at his obvious attempt to keep his friend's secret.
"And I'm guessing you're talking about Remus?" Lily mentioned. James gaped at her before he responded.
"How did you know about Remus?" James asked, shocked. Lily just giggled at his expression.
"Well, back when Severus and I were still friends, he always had these theories about Remus, and the most persistent one was that he was a werewolf. Obviously I never believed him, until you just mentioned a werewolf being on the grounds. I can put two and two together, James." Lily said jokingly as James took all her information in.
"Okay, well please don't act differently around Remus or anything because he hates that. I don't know if you're scared-" James said before Lily cut him off.
"Scared? James I could never be scared of Remus. His problem is not his fault, so I will not treat him like it's his fault." Lily said as James watched her. He smiled brightly.
"Lily Evans, I swear you are something else." James said quietly.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Lily joked.
"A good thing. A very good thing." James said slowly before he continued.
"Anyways, during our fourth year Sirius and I really had it out for Snape. For me it was mostly because he was your best friend and I was jealous, and I guess Sirius was just supporting me. Sirius got really angry one day, I think it was because Snape had hexed me while my back was turned, but he decided he was going to get even. So on the day of the full moon, Sirius mentioned to Snape something about Remus being a werewolf, that apparently according to you Snape already suspected, and sent him towards the Whomping Willow that night which is where Remus would go to transform. The second I figured it out I stopped Snape and I yelled at Sirius, but it was too late. He'd already seen Remus in his werewolf form. I managed to get Snape away in time, but just a second later he would've been either bitten or killed by Remus. Ever since then, Remus has always been a little on edge about the topic of people getting near him when he transforms." James finished and sat quietly. Lily sat there and couldn't believe what she'd just heard. James had saved Severus's life, and Severus hadn't even mentioned it. Lily realized how much of slimeball he was becoming, but this was kind of a big deal. And yet he continued to hate James so openly after he'd saved his life. James's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"So do you want me to leave or something? I understand if you don't want to be around me. I get it. I kind of expected it to be honest. Er, but if we could not resort to physical harm, that would be great." James said quietly, avoiding eye contact with Lily. Lily was saddened by the fact that James thought she hated him. She pulled him into a big hug and sat there in his arms for a little bit. James was a little taken aback but relaxed into the hug. She pulled out and looked at James for a second before speaking.
"James, you saved Severus's life. I don't know in what world that would be worth hating you for." Lily said adoringly. James met her eyes and smiled.
"Lily, if you don't mind, can I ask you something?" James asked.
"Yeah, sure." Lily answered.
"Why were you crying before me and the other Marauders came in?" James asked curiously. Lily's face fell.
"I uh, didn't think you'd noticed." Lily said quietly. James put his arm around her shoulder comfortingly.
"Oh c'mon Lils, we practically live together, of course I noticed. You want to talk about it?" James asked sweetly. Lily looked at him and got up off the couch and started pacing in front of the fire place.
"What's there to talk about? I got a C in Transfiguration, probably disappointing McGonagall who is my favorite teacher. I got yelled at by Professor Binns in front of the entire class. I've been called a mudblood a number of times today. It just hasn't been a good day, James, and that's not even the worst of it." Lily said as she turned to face James, crossing her arms and letting her hair fall and cover her face.
"Okay, first of all, so you got one C, McGonagall isn't going to hate you because of that! She absolutely loves you! Everyone's allowed to mess up on a test once in a while. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. Second of all, Binns can be a total jerk sometimes, so don't even worry about him. And as for being called a mudblood, be proud! The people who are calling you that are jealous of you, because they're purebloods and you can do magic ten times better than they could ever dream of. You're hearing this from a pureblood himself. Lily your magic is WAY better than mine. It doesn't matter whether you have magical blood or not. Hell, there are purebloods who end up to be squibs. Now what is the worst thing that has upset you today?" James asked as he inched closer to Lily. Lily's eyes started tearing up as she remembered what had happened at lunch.
"My only sister doesn't want me to come to her wedding because she thinks I'm a freak!" Lily said as the tears streamed down her face and she fell to the floor, or tried to but before she could make it, James caught her in his arms and started stroking her face as she cried into his chest. He slowly walked her to the loveseat nearest to them and sat down, cradling Lily as her sobs died down.
"I'm so sorry, Lily, I didn't know." James said quietly staring down at the gorgeous girl in his arms. Lily stared straight ahead.
"I should've seen it coming, I honestly did in a sense, but I mean it doesn't make it hurt any less. Obviously I'm going to have to go, because of my mum and Petunia knew that, but she told me she didn't want me to be there, just to hurt me." Lily said dejectedly.
"I'm so very sorry, Lily. You're the last person on this planet who deserves to be hurt like that." James said, still staring at her as Lily lifted her head and looked at him. Lily attempted to close the gap between their lips as James allowed her. But before their lips could meet James pulled his head back. Lily opened her eyes and stared into his hazel eyes.
"Lily, I love you. I've always loved you in some sense. But this isn't right. I would love to kiss you, but we've both shared very large burdens, and we're both in very vulnerable places right now and it wouldn't be right for either of us. We should wait until we're both in a stronger place, emotionally, before we attempt to take this to the next level."
"I love you too, James, and I think you're right. But do you mind if I just stay in your arms for a little while longer?" Lily asked quietly. James answered by tightening his grip around her and they stayed like that until night fell. Then they both said their goodnights and went to their respective dorms, thinking about the shift that had just happened in their relationship.
A/N: Okay guys, the next chapter is going to be one out of three parts. Or one out of two, debating on how long the part of the song I use is going to be. Just letting ya'll know so you won't be confused! Hope you enjoyed!
