A/N: This chapter follows on immediately from the previous one. Rosalie and Bella are hugging in the airport. This chapter is longer than the last one, which is why it took such a long time to update. Enjoy!
EPOV
The unlikely pair smiled at each other with identical faces of gratitude and I understood now. They were silently thanking each other for agreeing to save the child they both loved already.
I was frozen in horrified shock for a second, and then I was at Bella's side. In the same instant Rosalie twisted round to put herself between us. A hiss slid between her lips, too quiet for any of the milling humans to hear, though Bella shuddered slightly. I ignored my sister as far as I was able, tuning out her threatening thoughts.
"What are you doing, Bella?" I asked. As if I didn't already know.
"I'm not going to kill our baby, Edward," she told me gently from behind Rosalie's defensive position.
Before I could reply, Rosalie interrupted in a scornful voice. "Didn't you even ask her what she thought? Didn't you bother to think that your wife might have an opinion of her own?"
I found I could not answer as I wished, because the accusation was, in essence, correct. I had not even considered the possibility that Bella might not want to rid her body of this creature.
"Bella," I started again. "Why didn't you tell me?" And why did you tell Rosalie?
"Because I knew you would try to stop me," she answered. "I knew you would still make me go through with the… operation."
I blanched at the accusation her words carried, though her tone assured me that she loved me still. What did that make me? The man who would force her to kill her child, the man who had never even bothered to check for consent before blundering ahead to do whatever he wished; barely a man at all. Bella and I remained locked in each other's eyes for a long moment.
I had almost forgotten the rest of our family standing there, watching us in varying degrees of curiosity, understanding and horror, until Carlisle moved forward.
"Let's continue this discussion at home where we can speak freely," he suggested, his calm face creased in concern.
"Bella's riding with me," Rosalie insisted, adding to her statement in her head. So you and Carlisle don't try to butcher her as soon as my back is turned.
"That's not necessary, Rose," I argued, but she ignored me.
I looked to Bella, to see how she would react to this. She had her eyes focused on the grey, utilitarian floor, refusing to meet my eye. It was obvious that she thought this was necessary. All her fearful glances on the plane took on a new meaning. She really was afraid of me, afraid of what I would do to the thing I had fathered.
"Bella," I said yet again, and I could hear the pain in my own whisper.
She looked up, her eyes filling with tears. I started to go to her, to take her in my arms and stroke her hair, but Carlisle spoke again.
"Edward, leave Bella alone for a while. You can ride with Esme, Jasper and myself. Alice and Emmett can ride with Rosalie and Bella."
I felt like a child, being told what to do after a transgression. Rosalie smiled triumphantly and the four of them started off to the car. Bella glanced at me once more before Rosalie had her arm round my wife, supporting her, guiding her towards the exit. Alice shot me a look before she turned to follow.
I'm on your side on this. It's far too dangerous. I'll try and talk some sense into her.
I nodded gratefully, and followed my parents off to the other car, Jasper bringing up the rear. My thoughts continued revolving around my soul mate, walking willingly away from me.
No one spoke as we approached Carlisle's Mercedes. Carlisle and Esme slid into the front seats, leaving Jasper and I to sit in the back. How many comparisons to children would I be forced to make today? As soon as the doors closed, I leant my head into my hands and closed my eyes. Jasper immediately got to work calming my mood, which of course had been Carlisle's intention. Esme stared out the window, working through the ramifications of Bella's actions. I heard the assumptions that our family had immediately made, just like me: Bella would not risk her life and mine for a child. I was struck by Rosalie's rare insight into Bella's mind, and the guilt that Esme felt for not considering that Bella might have made this decision.
As we pulled out of the airport car park, my father began a discussion I fervently wished there was no need for. Normally, he would converse with me with his thoughts, but today he spoke aloud. This was a matter for the entire family.
"You know I am ashamed of you, Edward. Did you not discuss this matter with Bella?"
I groaned. "I thought she would agree with me; see that it was too dangerous."
"And have you discussed these potential dangers with her? Does she fully know the risk she's taking?"
"No."
I could see now the huge mistake I had made. The second I had put down the phone after talking to Carlisle, I should have convinced her of the horrific possibilities; made her see that her own life was in danger before I let her worry about the life of the creature.
Esme raised her head now. "Edward," she began hesitantly, but I heard the direction her thoughts were taking and stopped her.
"No. Absolutely not."
"What did we miss?" Carlisle asked, while Jasper numbed the fury rolling off me in waves. My teeth were clenched, so Esme was forced to answer her husband's question.
"I asked him if he had considered agreeing with her."
Even Carlisle's eyes widened slightly as he processed this. "Do you agree with her?" he asked Esme.
"I would ask her to do the same for me."
This didn't fully answer the question, and her thoughts revealed more, but neither of us elaborated, and we continued home in silence. The damp, dull green and grey landscape flashed past the tinted windows. Such a contrast from the bright sunny island, and such a change in mood! The bliss of our honeymoon seemed so far behind us now.
Rosalie's party reached the house before us; Carlisle's driving was far more sedate than Emmett's. When we emerged into the living room from the inevitable rain outside, Bella was already on the couch, Rosalie standing protectively by her side. Emmett was in an armchair watching a baseball game on TV and Alice, surprisingly, was curled up at the far end of the room, her elfin face twisted into a grimace.
Ow! My head is killing me already! So weird – she's blurred somehow. Still can't see more than a few minutes ahead – ow! she protested again. She looked up at me, then. Sorry Edward, I can't change her mind. I don't understand how she's changed so much! Maybe if I remembered, I would, but…
I shook my head and smiled at her with the tiniest possible movement of my lips. It wasn't Alice's fault that she didn't remember being human. Or that Bella's thoughts remained a mystery.
Bella looked up too, concern in her eyes. I didn't know if it was concern for herself, her baby or me. Maybe I didn't want to know.
Even as I thought it, though, I knew that wasn't true. I wanted to know everything she was thinking, all the time, but now more than ever. I wanted to comprehend why on earth she was doing this to me, so I could change her mind.
Suddenly, she gasped, her eyes widening in pain and shock. Thought I was at her side immediately, Rosalie got there first.
"What is it?" we both asked at the same time, my voice tense with fear, hers gentle but concerned. Each of us glared at the other for getting in the way, before turning back to Bella.
"I think…" Bella began, but she paused with another frightened glance at me.
Rosalie turned her head briefly to flash another glare at me, and then returned her gaze to Bella's face.
"It's okay," she reassured my love. "You can say."
Bella studiously didn't look at me as she answered. "The baby just kicked."
There was a pause. "Can I see?" Rosalie asked.
For an answer, Bella nodded and drew up her top to expose her stomach. The sight of her bare skin filled me with revulsion.
A very small part of it was an old fashioned desire for modesty. Another miniscule part was that I was her husband and so only I had the right to see this. But the most major cause for my disgust was the inky bruise that was flowering just above her navel. Bella would perceive it as a faint shadow, but my unbearably sharp eyes could see it clear as day.
It reminded me of watching her sleep on that first night on the island. Watching helplessly as first one bruise, then another, and another bloomed on her skin like violets, and knowing it was my fault. Knowing I had hurt her. This was a thousand times worse because if I hadn't hurt her then, if I hadn't agreed to Bella's demand, she would not be hurting now, and because I felt powerless as to stop it happening again. If she insisted on keeping the – I struggled with calling it a baby or child, and settled for foetus – then this would happen again and again, and if its strength increased… I shuddered, and my eyes closed.
Bella's warm hand reached out and stroked my cheek. "Edward, it's fine, honestly. It doesn't hurt that much."
So typically Bella. Trying to make me feel better. Telling me she was fine. The reference to our first night made me moan again.
I didn't open my eyes as I spoke. "Bella, this won't stop. If it can bruise you now, how long before it starts breaking your bones?"
Her thumb brushed against my cheekbone and I reached up with my cold fingers to keep her warm digits against my face.
"I'll heal, Edward," she murmured.
"And if you don't?" I opened my eyes and braced myself to speak the impossibility. "Bella, what do I do if it kills you?"
She didn't flinch. Instead, she glanced at Rosalie before answering. "You won't let that happen. I'm strong enough to keep my heart beating. I will survive long enough to keep our baby alive, and then you will change me. You'll save me." She looked at Rosalie now. "I'm sorry, Rose; I know how you feel about that."
Rosalie shook her head. "I was only against that decision when you could have had a life. Since we all know you want this, if it does become life or death – and I'm sure it won't – I'd rather keep you alive. If only to stop Edward from being depressed for the rest of eternity."
No one laughed at the intended joke. Especially since I knew firstly that I could not live through losing Bella, and secondly that Rosalie didn't really care whether my wife lived or died. She was too intent on ensuring the foetus' survival.
"Thanks," Bella said.
"Don't mention it," Rosalie smiled beatifically.
Ignoring their little exchange, I pressed on. "Bella, if you die, I can't save you. You know that."
"I won't die," she insisted.
I gritted my teeth. "We don't know that. Alice can't see more than a few minutes ahead for you now. There's no warning available."
Bella's voice became angry, and she pulled her hand away. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to let you kill our child? To let you murder it?"
It was a challenge. She was daring me to say it.
"If it keeps you alive. Yes."
She tried to glare at me, but her eyes were brimming with tears. I felt instantly guilty, but I couldn't say no. It would be a lie.
Carlisle broke the resultant silence. "May I suggest we do an ultrasound scan now?"
Rosalie moved to protest, but he held his hands up in the traditional sign of surrender. "If Bella decides to keep the child I will still take a scan, so this is entirely innocent."
Stiffly, Rosalie nodded, and Bella got heavily to her feet, wiping her eyes. Carlisle began to lead the way upstairs.
"You have ultrasound machinery at home?" Bella asked as Rosalie helped her up the stairs, me following right behind. She struggled to keep the tears out of her voice, and nearly succeeded.
We were in Carlisle's office before he answered. "I thought it best to keep this in the family."
She blushed. "Thanks again."
Slowly, she moved to the hospital-like bed Carlisle had set up, taking in the various types of machinery in the room. I ran my eyes over the medical equipment too. Not only ultrasound, but X-ray imaging, syringes, drips… I exchanged a look with my father. I was prepared for her to come home in much worse shape than she actually is.
I grimaced. Why couldn't Bella see the danger?
She was laying on the bed now, her top pulled up again to display her swollen stomach and the hideous bruising. I should have been at her side, holding her hand, but I could not bring myself to watch, to bear witness to the damage I had indirectly inflicted on her. I stood with my back against the thick wooden door, my eyes closed, as if by putting this out of sight, I could put it out of my mind, too. Therefore, it was their thoughts that warned me first.
Strange, thought Carlisle. The equipment is sound…
Alice, who, like me, was as far away from Bella as she could feasibly get in the small room, now moved forward. I can't see its future, and now we can't see it at all. What is it?
My eyes snapped open and I stepped forward to see the picture I had already seen in six minds.
Blankness. The screen showed nothing; it was as if the foetus didn't exist. But we couldn't be wrong. We weren't wrong.
"What's going on?" Bella asked, scared now. I suppressed a groan. Why couldn't she be scared for herself?
"Well, I'm not sure, but… as it's obvious that there is a foetus there, I'm guessing that there's a barrier between your skin and the foetus. Which suggests that the amniotic sac is stronger than human skin," Carlisle theorised.
"Vampire skin," I muttered. What more proof did we need that this thing was a monster?
"What does that mean?" Bella asked.
"Merely that we don't know how it will develop. Also that it will be difficult to tell how developed the foetus is. It would therefore make timing a Caesarean more difficult." Carlisle looked at me again. And it will make a Caesarean or an abortion far more difficult to perform without using our teeth.
So whatever happened, we would have to change Bella. Well, I'd long since accepted that she would become like me. I just wished it didn't have to happen like this.
Rosalie handed Bella a tissue; she smiled slightly at her and began to wipe the gel off her stomach. I saw her wince as her fingers passed over the bruise. Unable to help myself, I flitted to her side but again Rosalie was there first. She scowled at me yet again before asking Bella if she was alright.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Um. Shall we head back downstairs?"
Wordlessly, I opened the door, and Bella swung her legs off the bed. She stood carefully, so carefully, to avoid jostling the foetus. Rosalie moved to help her again but she shook her head and pointedly walked over to me. She stared at me pleadingly.
"Please don't let this divide us. Please."
I tried to smile at her, but I couldn't manage it. Once I had told Bella I was a good liar, but I couldn't lie to her now. Not with my face and words at least. Instead, I hugged her gently, relishing her familiar warmth against my chest, and kissed the top of her head. There were so many things I wanted to say, but half of them were untrue and the other half would only hurt her. So I said nothing, just feeling her arms snake around me and her cheek press against my silent heart.
I wished with all my heart and soul—though one was dead and the other long lost—that this moment didn't have to end. That Bella would always be in my arms and we would never have to deal with these problems that kept forcing themselves upon us. But even as I crushed my love gently to me, I could feel the protruding lump of her stomach, pushing her away from me. Dividing us literally, as well as metaphorically.
Eventually I had to release her, though I kept an arm around her as she traversed the stairs. I was faintly surprised that Rosalie allowed me to be this close to Bella, but then I heard her shadowing our footsteps, and the inarticulate warning in her head, and knew that she would not tolerate any efforts at persuasion on my part, or any greater physical proximity in case it upset Bella's fragile health. Like a chaperone or a minder, Rosalie would always be there.
We reconvened in the living room. Our usually rambunctious family was uncharacteristically quiet. Even Emmett's thoughts were subdued. He was none too sure about Rosalie's motives for helping Bella, and was deeply concerned over his little sister's fate. Though Emmett and Bella were so different, they had formed a strong brother-sister bond almost immediately on meeting. He had missed her when we were away for those long months, though he had made me promise not to tell Rose. It hadn't mattered—I had barely spoken to anyone during that time.
Alice stood against the glass wall, both her small hands pressed to her forehead as she tried desperately to avoid looking for Bella. Jasper kept his arm round her, trying to calm her. Though Bella pulled me down to sit next to her, and leaned her head against my shoulder, Rosalie stood directly behind us.
"Are you alright?" I asked Bella, ignoring Rosalie. "Do you want anything to eat? You haven't eaten properly for two days."
She shook her head and looked up at me. "In a minute. I think we need to talk first."
I sighed. Of course she was right. I just didn't want to argue with her when she was in this state. Or ever, come to that. "Well, where do you want to start?"
She bit her lip, and I realised that she desperately didn't want to argue with me either. Instead, she glanced up at Carlisle. "Do you have any idea of how the baby will… turn out?"
"Very little," he answered honestly, while he reacted mentally to her use of the word 'will'. There was no doubt in her mind that she was keeping the creature, then. "However, we can assume that it is not fully human from the accelerated pregnancy, the ultrasound results and the bruising."
I winced.
"It is also obviously not fully vampiric which we can deduce from the simple fact that it is growing. So, other than that, I can honestly say that I have no idea what your child is, how it will develop, or whether you will be strong enough to carry it full term."
Though Carlisle's voice was compassionate as always, calm and soothing, the bluntness of his words made me shudder. In contrast, Bella merely nodded, as if she'd expected nothing better.
"And what exactly are the risks?"
She sounded so composed, almost detached, and I highly doubted any risk would change her mind. Always so stubborn, and with a complete disregard for her own safety.
Rosalie didn't agree with my evaluation. "Don't start trying to frighten her into changing her mind," she warned Carlisle. "This is all just theory."
Carlisle lowered his head wearily. "As a matter of fact, the main risk we're taking if you decide to go ahead is that we don't know what the risks are. Though judging by the bruise you've just acquired, the strength of the foetus is something to worry about."
"But even human children can break ribs," Rosalie interjected.
"And so the prospect of the harm this child could inflict is cause for concern," Carlisle countered.
"Worst case possibility?" Bella asked in a businesslike manner.
"I would be concerned that either a rib could puncture a lung, or for your spine."
Everyone save Rosalie and Bella flinched. Alice moaned quietly as she automatically tried to look for such a possibility.
"Venom would repair that, though," Rosalie said.
"How can you be so sure?" I asked her. "Even Esme's injuries didn't include a broken spine!"
"Much as I'm unsure, I am inclined to agree with Rosalie here," Carlisle said soothingly. "I believe venom would heal that. However, I cannot be certain."
"It's still only a possibility," Rosalie insisted.
Bella nodded slightly, but I could see her eyes were slightly troubled. Could I possibly make her see it my way?
Of course not. Almost reflexively, her left hand drifted down to her stomach, her wedding band sparkling against her cotton top, and her expression suddenly cleared. "It's still worth it."
"Why?" I asked her in anguish. "Why is this worth risking your life? Why is this worth taking yourself away from me forever?"
Carlisle's blunt words had barely touched her, but suddenly her eyes filled with tears. Rosalie hissed at my insensitivity, but I honestly didn't understand why my attitude saturated her face with pain.
"Bella, less than a month ago, on the eve of our wedding, you told me you didn't mind giving all this up. And then we weren't considering the factor that becoming a mother—" her eyes flared briefly at the word "—would endanger your life! What changed your mind? Why are you doing this now?"
Bella's stifled sobs and her steady heartbeat were the only sounds for a second. Then she took a deep breath and began to speak, hesitantly, unsure of what she was saying. I clung to her every word.
"It's not… being a mother… in particular… nor having a child. It's this child, Edward, it's your child. It's… part of me, and it's part of you. And… I love it—him, her—just for being him or her. I love you just the same—just for being you. It doesn't matter that I don't know them yet, it doesn't matter what he or she is, I can't help but love them. Like I can't help loving you."
I heard the echo to our first honest conversation: "it doesn't matter to me what you are." She was pleading with me to understand, to see what she meant. I shook my head, sadly.
"All I care about is you."
"And your family," Esme said unexpectedly. We both looked up as she moved to stand next to Carlisle. "You love all of us, too. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here now. You couldn't kill me, or Alice, or Carlisle. This child is part of your family too, but closer. Connected by… well, not by blood, but connected to you all the same."
"But we don't know what it is! How can I feel close to a potential monster? Something that's threatening Bella's life?"
Esme's voice was quiet. "You forgave Jasper."
Jasper stiffened at the memory, and my eyes closed briefly at the consequences of that night. The long, black months, the pain that was so great that it didn't exist, so I had felt nothingness and been filled with emptiness.
You took yourself away and it nearly killed you both. Taking this baby away will affect her just the same.
Instinctively, my arm tightened around Bella's shoulders. How close I had been to instigating my own death, just to be with her again, even if it was in non-existence. The measures I was prepared to go to, the pain I had been willing to cause; I visited that period of my life as little as I could. If aborting the foetus would cause that reaction in Bella, could I possibly see this her way? I stared into her beautiful eyes, so determined, so scared, and so loving. So alive. I exhaled slowly, and those eyes brightened in hope. Or maybe hope wasn't the best description, since it was combined with such fear. I think that she was scared to let herself hope. More than anything, her fear was what prompted me to reconsider. Bella shouldn't be afraid of me.
"I'm not going to promise anything, love." Her eyes sparkled with emotion and tears. "But… let's see how it goes, alright? I'm not saying yes," I added hurriedly. "We'll reconsider in a couple of days, once we can see how your body is coping."
Rosalie beamed triumphantly. Bella leant forward and captured my lips in a kiss. As her soft skin shaped itself to match my embrace, I couldn't stop my mind imagining just how easily the foetus could harm her. Too easily. I almost told her no, I couldn't even agree to a postponement, but then she broke away, just a millimetre, and whispered, "Thank you."
The family buzzed into action: Carlisle retrieved yet more medical equipment from the hospital, Alice went shopping to stock the house with all the human essentials we hadn't known we would need here, Esme fussed over making Bella comfortable and cleaning my room, and Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle threw themselves into researching human-vampire pregnancies. As if such a thing should be possible!
What little information they could glean from the internet and Carlisle's immense collection of interesting vampire myths was unreliable, vague and contradictory. I suggested looking into Ticuna legends, since the cleaning lady Kaure had seemed to know so much. However, when Carlisle returned with the results only a few hours after we had arrived home, just after Bella had finally eaten some dinner, I almost wished I had never had the idea.
Neither Rosalie nor I ever left Bella's side, so I was listening from the sitting room when Jasper uncovered two corresponding accounts of children of the Libishomen. I heard him scan through an obscure website, paying little attention until he read it for the fourth time. Vampires had perfect recall, photographic memories, so why reread an article about…
I froze in horror. Bella, of course, noticed.
"Edward? Are you okay? What is it?"
I smoothed my face with a little effort. "It's probably nothing. Jasper just found something about… well, cases like yours."
Bella's eyes tightened slightly as I finished the sentence; I realised at once the mistakes I had made. Firstly, I should have said 'pregnancies', rather than 'cases'. And secondly, if I had to say 'cases', it should have been 'cases like ours'. Not 'yours'.
Carlisle entered the room then. You heard? he asked. I nodded.
Rosalie frowned. "Could you tell us what you're saying, or would that require too much effort?" she asked sarcastically.
Noting the plural, I addressed Bella. "You don't need to know this."
As if to contradict me, Jasper called from Carlisle's study, "I've got a third match."
He had to choose now to speak at a volume audible to human ears. Bella's eyes fixed on mine.
"Tell me," she said quietly.
"You know we were looking into the legends Kaure mentioned," I began.
She nodded, and a shadow clouded her eyes for a second.
"Well, Jasper just found out why she said—" I stopped; I couldn't say this. I broke away from Bella's gaze.
There was a short pause and I could feel her eyes on me, before Bella turned away. "Carlisle?"
Carlisle glanced at me before speaking. "We've found out why there were no survivors," he continued for me. Shall I go on? he asked.
I nodded jerkily.
He took a deep breath. "According to her people's legends, the child escapes the womb, and the amniotic sac, by using its own teeth."
Rosalie blanched slightly; she hadn't thought of this. Her face became coldly calculating, as she worked through the ramifications of such an eventuality. I turned my head away from her, back to Bella, ignoring my adopted sister's thoughts as much as I could.
To my surprise, my wife barely reacted. This was beyond unbelievable. Her eyes didn't even widen.
"You knew, didn't you?" I accused her. "You worked this out."
Shamefacedly, she nodded. "I was thinking about how you get through vampire skin. It made sense."
If Bella had realised this possibility, why had I been blind to it? After all, Carlisle had admitted that we would have to perform a Caesarean using our teeth. Some part of me must have known, I theorised, but had blocked it from my consciousness. The picture now leapt unbidden into my mind, vivid and horrific: Bella's body convulsing, being ripped apart from the inside. I shivered involuntarily, my eyes closing, and I felt Bella's little hand against my cheek. She was comforting me! I pressed her hand to my face with my own, feeling ashamed as I realised I needed her comfort.
"What that means is that a natural birth is impossible without unacceptable risk, so a Caesarean is our only remaining option," Carlisle continued. We both turned to watch him. "Of course you'll be under anaesthetic, but I think you should be aware that we will have to use our teeth to perform the procedure."
Bella nodded, persistently unsurprised. She had probably guessed this as soon as Carlisle and I had.
"Does that mean we'll have to change her as we're delivering the baby?" Rosalie asked.
A spark of interest ignited in Bella's eyes. Presumably this question had occurred to her as well.
"Possibly not," Carlisle said. "If we can remove the amniotic sac before opening it, then the venom shouldn't affect you."
"Will it affect the baby?" Bella asked, afraid.
Rosalie's thoughts whirred into a frantic whirlwind. Not the baby, please say the baby will be alright. It's not human, it shouldn't be affected—will it be venomous itself? Will it have blood? If it doesn't have blood, maybe it won't be affected by venom.
I was abruptly angry at both of them for worrying about the baby first. Did neither of them care for Bella's life? For my life? Because I couldn't exist unless Bella did. It was simply impossible, and we all knew that. Even Rosalie knew that. Especially Rosalie knew that.
"I hope not," Carlisle replied. "Theoretically it shouldn't, since we're not putting any venom into the child's bloodstream. But I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm sure, because I'm not. We have no way of knowing for certain."
"I guess that's the best I can ask for," Bella said, smiling slightly though her eyes remained troubled. "Thank you, Carlisle."
He smiled back at her and left to go back upstairs, sorting out the various medications he had retrieved for Bella, who now lay back on the sofa, leaning her head against my chest. We stayed like that for a few minutes, Rosalie hovering behind us.
"I really hope I don't have to be changed whilst giving birth," Bella said suddenly.
"Why?" Rosalie asked.
She sighed. "Well, partly because I'd rather it was a choice, not a necessity, and partly because I'm worried that… if the baby has blood, then I won't be able to be around him."
I hadn't considered that. For Bella to fight so hard for this child and be condemned to miss its first year… I cut the thought off. I was beginning to think like her. As though I wanted this child too.
Rosalie was full of reassurances. "It won't come to that, I'm sure. And if it does, we'll take care of it until you're totally under control."
Imagine that, she thought to herself. I would be like a surrogate mother to it. Practically the only mother it would know.
She broke off and glared at me, realising her error. Don't tell Bella I thought that. You know I can't control my thoughts.
I returned her glare, but nodded. Bella didn't need to worry about Rose wanting her to die. Then again, she was so perceptive that she had probably picked up on that already, or at least registered our silent conversation. I glanced down at her, just in time to see her yawn widely.
"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry, I should have thought you'd be tired," I apologised, mentally slapping myself. Of course that was why she hadn't slept on the plane: she hadn't wanted to reveal her plans to me via her sleep-talking.
"No, I'm alright," she insisted. "It's my fault for staying awake. Plus, it's only six thirty; I don't want to muck up my body clock."
"You are pregnant," Rosalie pointed out. "Your body clock should already be out of kilter."
"I suppose it is," Bella agreed. "I couldn't stop sleeping on the island."
Esme came in at that point, having heard our entire conversation thanks to vampire hearing. She had been discussing Jasper's findings with Carlisle, and had been seriously shaken by them, but she covered that up now.
"I never asked, did you like the island?" she asked Bella.
"Oh, it's so beautiful!" Bella said, her eyes shining. "It's absolutely amazing, thank you so much for letting us stay there."
"It was my pleasure," Esme said, smiling.
"Ah, I need to talk to you about that," I realised, remembering the state of the headboard in the blue room and the lack of pillows in the white room.
Bella struggled to repress a giggle, whilst blushing furiously, and I knew she was thinking of the same thing.
Esme looked at me curiously until Rosalie put Bella's expression and my words together, and burst out laughing. Then I heard my mother's tentative guess in her head, and I nodded shamefacedly.
Surprisingly, she let out a girlish giggle herself and then the three of them were all laughing uncontrollably. I watched, bemused, as tears began leaking from Bella's eyes and Rosalie clutched at the sofa. Esme was shaking and I strived to comprehend what was so funny about it. After all, I had been destroying the furniture only to save Bella's life. And why on earth did Bella find this funny? Why was she not embarrassed into silence?
I was still staring at the three of them when Alice walked in the door, laden with so many bags that I could barely see her beneath them.
"What's so funny?" she asked, directing the question at me since I was actually able to speak, but I merely shrugged my shoulders and Rosalie managed to choke out an answer.
"Edward… and Bella… that first night… the island house… Edward!" she finished and dissolved into laughter again.
I groaned, putting two and two together. "You saw this, didn't you?" I accused Alice, who was now laughing with the rest of them, having dumped her bags on the floor.
She nodded. Not much, she assured me. I mean, I didn't want to! It's wrong! You're my brother for goodness' sake! But I saw the pillows, and Rose made me tell… and then the headboard… so they all know, and they couldn't believe that Edward-the-prude… she laughed harder as she realised what she had just thought. Sorry! Sorry!
I closed my eyes in embarrassment and exasperation. Could this situation get any worse?
Apparently it could. Emmett had finally worked out exactly what the girls were laughing at and burst into the room.
"Yeah, I had been planning to mention that as soon as you got home, but now'll do I suppose."
"Right!" I said loudly, before Emmett could voice any of the sordid thoughts running through his head. "Best get you to bed," I said to Bella.
She laughed harder, if that was possible, as did everyone else in the room, and I realised the connotations of what I'd just said. Well, it was hard not to when everyone was screaming at me in their minds. I threw my head back and pinched the bridge of my nose to stop myself either lashing out or running from the room, possibly the house, maybe even the state.
Abruptly, Bella stopped laughing and gasped in pain. Her eyes flew open as her pupils dilated and her hands flew to her belly.
"Bella!" I said, and suddenly everyone was swarming around her. Rosalie whipped around the sofa to stand in front of us, Alice right next to her; Esme knelt by Bella's legs and Carlisle dashed downstairs and was by our sides in an instant. Emmett hovered on the periphery, wanting to help, but not sure he could actually do anything helpful, while Jasper followed Carlisle in and immediately began calming me.
"What is it?" Rosalie, Carlisle and I asked simultaneously. It would have been comical in any other situation. Bella smiled weakly anyway.
"Baby kicked again," she said quietly. "You don't need to worry so much, you'll have to get used to this."
Alice frowned at the reminder of Bella's stubbornness, but Rosalie smiled slightly, pleased she hadn't been put off. Carlisle and Esme exchanged a glance; both of them were wondering how much more she could take.
"Are you alright?" Carlisle asked. "Is it any worse than last time?"
"Pretty much the same, I think," she said, and pulled up her top to take a look.
"Yup, another bruise," she said flippantly, and I grimaced again, half at what she was saying and half at her tone of voice. I was sure, though, that she was at least slightly scared. She just didn't want me to know that.
No one spoke for a moment, though of course it was never silent for me. I reflected on how quickly the brief moment of levity had passed, and wished we could all be laughing again. Even if it was at my expense.
Edward, Esme asked tentatively.
I met her gaze to show her I was listening.
I need to talk to Bella. Nothing hideous, and I'm not going to try to change her mind, but she needs a mother-daughter talk about pregnancy, and how it's affecting her, rather than just her body. Take her upstairs, and then I'll have a chat with her.
I nodded, hearing the clutter of ideas and memories in her head. Esme was right, Bella needed to be spoken to by her mother, and Renée was hardly an option bearing in mind Bella was pregnant with an unknown quantity by a vampire and looking to be halfway to full term approximately two and a half weeks after conception.
"Come on, Bella," I murmured, and scooped her up in my arms. She nuzzled her head into my chest slightly, and I could have cried.
The rest of our family made way with grave expressions as I carried my pregnant wife upstairs to our room.
A/N: Next chapter is from Esme's POV, her chat with Bella. I'll try and get it up within a week, but no promises. I'm overloaded with a show I'm in, a history essay that I haven't started, music coursework and revision for a thousand tests (or nearly). Sorry.
