Disclaimer: I do not own South of Nowhere or its characters. I own the plot of the story and the other new characters coming in that aren't part of South of Nowhere.
AN: I'm supposed to be doing my thesis, but its giving me a headache, like a real one.
For the old readers, thank you for still sticking up with this story. I know I have made you wait for a long time.
For the new ones, thank you for adding this to your story alert and favorite list. That's kinda awesome :)
Chapter 4:
Ashley's POV
I sometimes cannot believe why I do the things I do. Sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own. Sometimes it's my feet. Ever had that feeling where you know where you are going, but then not really? Because you're not sure whether you should be going there or not so you leave it up to chance. In my case, I left it to my feet and my hands to do the driving.
I know it's quite dangerous driving with only a half – mind into it.
I have been debating on whether or not I would come here or not since last week.
I have been staring at that box since last month.
Right now, I'm staring at her door wondering whether I should knock or not. Should I? I mean it's her birthday. I'm pretty sure all the Carlins are there. My luck of having Mr. C, Clay or Spencer is not really that high.
Lucky me, I don't really care.
Not caring is kinda an awesome feeling.
Well, scratch that. It is awesome. I now remember why I only cared for a few people for so long.
I don't even feel that scared and nervous shit I used to always feel whenever I'm in her house.
It's pure bliss, except for the part when my mind begins to wonder how I got here. That takes out the fun feeling.
"Ashley?" I heard someone say snapping me out of my thoughts.
Huh? See my luck? I'm not even knocking and yet here he is opening the door for me.
I have thought of many ways to hurt him. God knows I have every chance to do just that, but what keeps me is her. Because even when I know he's hurting her, it'll hurt her much more if something happens to him.
And I couldn't have sad baby blue eyes on my conscience, could I?
"Glenn, is Spencer home?" I said because really there's no need for fake pleasantries.
"Yeah, she's upstairs. I'll go get her. Come inside." Glenn said with a smile which threw me off. I don't know what's up his sleeve but I'm not going in there.
"Uhh no, I think I'd rather wait here."
"Okay." He said leaving the door open as he ran upstairs.
That was weird. I fully expected him to shut the door in my face. And what's with the smile? Maybe he's really on his way to get a bible and some holy water, say some verse and hope that I'll burst into flames
Hmm.,, Even my imagination does not impress me.
"Ow!"
Fuck that hurts.
Sneaking blonde woman who's laughing?
This is extremely weird.
Glenn's being nice.
Paula's laughing.
And mind you, it's not an evil laugh too. Not that I have ever heard her evil laugh. She usually just scowls or glares at me.
Is the world coming to an end?
"Are you okay?" Paula asks.
I mean really? She asks if I'm okay? Are meteors heading our way?
"Yeah I'm fine, not sure about my ass though." I said. I don't really care if I said ass in front her. I'm done trying to please her. There's no reason to anymore. Plus, really she's a hypocritical person. I'd say bitch but well she is still her mother. There are things I still respect even when I'm inside my head.
It's quite nice in there. It's just me and my thoughts. Well sometimes I hate my thoughts, but overall they are alright to be with.
Besides, I won't have to actually talk talk. Just think and they all understand each other.
They only suck on times like this, when I forget about where I am and that that box fell of my jacket and now in the hands of Paula. I should start thinking of nick names for her. Calling her Paula is just too nice, especially since it's my thoughts.
"This is a really nice bracelet." Paula said as she examined it. That bracelet is perfect. I doubt she'd find something bad about it. But then again, she is Paula. Knowing that the bracelet had something to do with would be enough for her to conclude that there's something bad about it.
"It's really beautiful." Paula commented.
"Well, uh thanks?" I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that. Praises rarely come from her and the fact that she's talking to me like a normal person would is really throwing me off.
Oh no no no!
"Oh" Paula said with a frown and a touch of smile? I don't know what I'm seeing anymore. Maybe I need to start wearing glasses or contacts like Kyla.
What did I tell you about my luck?
It doesn't exist when I'm anywhere near a Carlin.
"I uhh I got that when, before… well way before we broke up. I did not want to throw it away. I've been waiting for months to give that to her since uhh she didn't really want me giving her any gifts of the jewelry kind unless there is an occasion." I said. I don't know where the stutter even came from. That's…just not cool.
Paula was looking at me too long for my liking. Like really long, I think I'd be old by the time she stops staring at me. Is there something on my face?
"I think it's beautiful. Spencer would love it. You two will work it out. Just give it time." Paula said as she handed the bracelet back to me.
What? Do I need hearing aid too?
First, I see things. Now, I hear things. I think its time for a full medical check – up. NOT! I really do not like hospitals.
But seriously, did something happen I didn't know about? It not even April, like really? Did some Freaky Friday shit happen in here?
"Mom, what did you say to Ashley?"
Finally she's here. Paula is confusing the hell out of me, like a lot.
"Nothing she didn't want to hear. Ashley, Spencer's here you might want to close that mouth of yours. I, personally, don't think it's attractive." Paula said with a joke? Yes I'm asking dear thoughts if it was really a joke, 'cos now I think my mind is playing tricks on me.
I feel Paula patting me on the back before she left.
I don't know what for.
This is another reason why I don't like to be inside my head too much. Things happen and I don't notice making me even more confused.
I give up. I came here to do something and I'll do that then leave.
Yeah good plan.
But wow, she looks really really really good. I mean really good for just a cheap dinner with that girl. Yes, I'm still bitter about the break up.
"Thank you" Spencer said with a blush. Did I say it out loud? I hope I didn't say anything about me being bitter that's just pathetic.
But hey I can still make her blush.
But then naaah, she blushes easily.
"Okay, wanna tell me why you're here?"
Wow, way to be welcoming Spencer. I seriously think there's some Freaky Friday shit going on right now.
Oh man, what if she is Paula?
And Nice Paula was really Spencer?
I don't know why I'm even thinking about that girl, but hahaha if Paula is Spencer right now. I'm so happy about that Freaky Friday shit that's happening to them.
"Ashley?"
Really, no need to yell at me, Real Paula.
"What are you grinning about?"
I'm tempted to ask if she's Paula but I don't think she'd appreciate that. To be fair, I don't think the real real real Paula would appreciate it.
I'll stop the Freaky Friday shit now since I'm even confusing myself.
"Oh nothing, just nothing. Here. Happy Birthday!" I said as I handed her the box.
"Wow! Thanks! You didn't have to." Spencer said blushing as she accepted the gift.
Maybe she really is the real Spencer.
Alright, I'll stop this madness that's starting to make my head hurt.
"No problem. Open it." I just want to see what her reaction would be when she sees what I got her. I know she's not into expensive things, but it's her birthday and I designed it for her. Its only right that it'd be made from the best materials there is.
"Wow…Ash… I can't." Spencer said returning the gift back to me.
"No Spencer please just take it." I said raising my hands up so she can't put it into my hands.
"I can't take this Ash. This is too much and by the looks of it, expensive too. I can't. It's really beautiful, thank you. I really appreciate it but I just can't accept it." Spencer said as she took my hand and placed the box in it.
"I know you might be thinking I'm trying to get you back or something, but I'm not. I did not come here to try and sweep you off your feet using a piece of jewelry. I know you're with Carmen now and that you're happy with her. I'm not trying to ruin that. I honestly just went here to give this to you. I got this months before when we were still… you know, and yeah."
She was still silent. It's starting to feel awkward. She won't even look at me.
Maybe going here was really a bad idea on my feet's part.
'Cos really it's not my fault, it's my feet's fault.
"Look Spence...er, I get it, we are over. That bracelet I got it when I haven't screwed us up yet. I really don't know what to do it. I may have been the one to pay for it, but it belongs to you. I had it made for you. Even if I meet another Spencer in my life, which I doubt, it would not be right recycle this kind of gift. You can do whatever you want, keep it, pawn it, sell it, throw or give it away. It's your choice. It's yours." I said before turning away and leaving because really I have nothing left to do there. I'm not staying for another awkward silence.
"Ash, wait!"
I turn around to face her but did not really say anything 'cos I really don't have anything to say anymore.
"Thank you." Spencer said as she engulfed me in a hug.
"You're welcome." I said as hugged her back. The way she smells is intoxicating and I wished it was in a bad way. I quickly pulled away before I do something that I shouldn't.
"See you around school." I said before walking away.
"And Spence?" I yelled before she got into her door.
"Yeah?" Spencer asked with that adorable tilt she always does and I wish it would just stop tugging the insides of my heart.
"You look gorgeous tonight." I said before I drove away keeping myself from saying anything more.
