Hey fellow Fanfiction aficionados. Sorry for the delay in my story. School has been really stressful with PSATs, AP and Honors classes, and lots of unnecessary homework. Also, I haven't been getting a lot of feedback, which is kind of troubling. I don't know whether to continue on with it. I know that my story deals with really horrible topics, but someone has to tell the story. So without further ado, I present Chapter III to Innocence Lost.

Summary: Katie Knight had always loved her brother, even if he was the sole cause of her pain and suffering. This is Katie's story unadulterated and uncut as she explains the story of how her innocence was lost. AU

Rating: M

Pairing: Katie K. and Kendall

Warning: Deals with serious subject matter. Incest. Sexual Abuse. Angst.

Disclaimer: Big Time Rush and all its characters belong to Nickelodeon. However, this plot and the original characters within it, belong to me.

(P.S. It would be nice if you guys reviewed. )


Chapter III

"It is a man, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evils" – Buddha

By the time I was nine, Kendall's games got worse and worse. He was no longer satisfied with what he considered simple things, such as him putting his thing into me. The games became more bizarre as we went along and I was Kendall's favorite player. There were times when I begged Kendall to stop the game. Yet, he was charmingly good at convincing me to do things I didn't want to do. There were times when Kendall held me in his arms in the middle of the night and comforted me after our game. He would sing me a lullaby and tell me everything would be okay. All my fears and inhibitions seemed to wash away every time. He was my big brother and he was going to protect me. Nothing or no one would be able to harm me with him by my side. Little did I know, the person solely causing my pain and suffering was right at my side.

I remember the day when the game turned toxic. My mother was working the day shift at the diner, where she worked as a waitress. As always, she left Kendall in charge of the house and most importantly, me. As soon as he heard the car zoom out of the driveway, Kendall turned to me and explained the new rules to the game. The new rule was that I was to be tied up to my bed and had to convince him to let me free. He said I would win a prize if I won my freedom. As always, I was a little nervous of the new rule. Yet, I complied with his requests. Kendall demanded that I undress before he tied me up.

"Why Kenny?" I remember asking, my eyes dilating with wonder.

His explanation was that my role was to be a wild animal.

"Animals clearly don't wear clothes," he chuckled, swinging a shiny pair of handcuffs through his fingers.

That made complete sense to me. I'd never seen animals wear clothes at the zoo or on television. I slid out of my clothes and followed Kendall into my room. I climbed into bed and said nothing as he clasped the shiny handcuff around my skinny arm. He dragged a dining room chair into the room and took a seat, crossing his muscular arms over his broad chest.

"Now beg for your freedom," Kendall demanded, a smirk playing on his thin pink lips.

For an hour I begged and pleaded for Kendall to let me go. I offered to clean his room for a month, to never complain when he was watching television, to leave him and his friends alone when they were playing video games. Nothing seemed to work. He just sat there, staring at me with his bright green eyes, and shaking his head indifferently. Kendall wasn't convinced and it was aggravating. My stomach began to groan in hunger and the handcuff was digging into my flesh.

"I'm thirsty," I whined, my mouth dry and lips chapped.

Kendall wordlessly exited the room and reentered a few seconds later. He had a big jug of water in his hands.

"Beg for it," Kendall demanded.

I whimpered, dejectedly dropping my head to my chest. I hated the new rule. I didn't want to be an animal anymore. I wanted to be Katie. I liked the game better the way it was. But complaining wasn't going to stop the game. It would only make things worse. Kendall wouldn't even look at me if I began to whine about the new rule. He always told me that since he was the eldest, that I couldn't make any rules.

Kendall sauntered to the side of my bed and told me to open my mouth wide. I quivered my lips in protest. Fat droplets of tears began to form on the corners of my eyes. There was no use in questioning his motives, as he would just leave me there even longer. I hesitantly opened my mouth as wide as humanly possible, willing myself not to cry. I liked it better when he was on top of me and whispering how beautiful I was to him. I liked it better when he simply only wanted me to lick and suck on his thing.

With a sinister smirk, Kendall poured the whole jug of water onto me. I let out an ear-piercing squeal, gasping desperately for air. The water was ice cold and felt like daggers as it touched my bare skin. I burst into a frantic fit of tears. As the seconds went by, my screaming had become even more hysterical than before. My body writhed pathetically as I tried to break free. I had had enough of the stupid game. I wanted nothing more than to get free and watch cartoons as Kendall held me close to his chest and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Shut up bitch!" Kendall snapped. He threatened to throw more water on me and promised that the water would be colder than before. I heard somewhere that bitch meant a female dog. I hadn't a clue why Kendall would call me a female dog. Maybe it was a part of the game. After all, my role was to be an animal and dogs were clearly animals.

Hours went by and my desperate cries for freedom had become utterly useless. I was starving, my stomach grumbling and my mouth watering as Kendall ate a sandwich in front of me. I was tired, dark bags forming under my eyes and my body begging for a comfortable position to sleep in. I was most importantly scared out of my wits. I hadn't had a clue if I would be let go anytime soon. It was up to Kendall and he seemed dissatisfied with my yelps for freedom. He soon grew bored and left me there to watch television. He purposefully turn the TV as loud as it could go, drowning out my incessant crying.

Nightfall had come and I was still tied up. The room was getting eerily dark and Kendall refused to turn the light on. He explained that animals didn't need light, only humans did. I was drifting into a shallow sleep when Kendall strolled back into my room. He shouted for me to wake up. He had his video camera in his hands, the same one that he got for Christmas that year.

"Do you want you freedom?" he demanded.

I shook my head weakly, unable to keep my eyelids from drooping.

"I want you to touch your private," Kendall instructed, turning on his camera.

With hesitation and fear, I slid my hand to my private.

"Do what I do to it."

Kendall usually played with it, pushing his large fingers inside of it. He always complimented me on the smoothness of my private, saying how much he hated hairy ones.

I stuck a finger inside and slid it halfway out, repeating this action for what seemed like forever. When I finally pulled my finger out, it was covered in a sticky colorless substance.

"Taste it," Kendall demanded.

I slowly put the finger in my mouth, my taste buds rejecting the horrid taste of it.

Kendall finally let me free.

I was drifting to a shallow sleep when Kendall finally let me free.

I thanked him and kissed him repeatedly on the lips. I even told him that he was the best brother anyone could ever want and that I was lucky that I could call him my brother.

I began to slide my underwear up my twig-like legs when Kendall stopped me.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Mommy's coming soon."

"She called. She's working overtime."

"Isn't the game over?"

Kendall laughed darkly at this. "Katie Kat, the game has just begun."