(4) Blood's Pain

Sirius stormed into the common room, slamming the Portrait so hard behind him that the Fat Lady fell out. Remus, James & Peter looked up in shock from their Marauder's Map they had spread before them. Sirius glared into the eyes of each of them in turn, starting with Peter, then James, then Remus. He stalked over. Remus jumped to his feet & barely had a chance to gather his wits before Sirius rammed into him & held on so tight that his ribs nearly cracked. Sirius cried into his shoulder.

Not knowing what else to do, Remus swayed gently back & forth, trying to hush his pack-mate while James & Peter exchanged looks. "Padfoot what's wrong?" Remus finally asked.

Sirius went to his knees before Remus & looked up into his eyes. "Promise me one thing?"

"Sirius."

"Don't hate me. Don't you EVER hate me! Ok? Promise me that!"

"Why would I hate you?" Remus laughed softly, putting a hand on Sirius's head.

James hacked & said under breath. "If you two only knew how gay you both look."

Remus glared, his eyes flickering from brown to gleaming gold "I could never hate you Padfoot. Prongs however, will die horribly tonight for that comment."

Sirius shot to his feet. "Don't say that. NEVER say that again! You hear me werewolf?"

"Werew...ok I'm not talking to you right now," Remus huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

"Don't ever say James will die again. Understand?"

Remus put his hands up in defeat. "Gees Padfoot! It was only a joke."

Sirius gritted his teeth. "I'm not joking!" At that, he turned for the stairs, pausing to cast a long hard look of utter contempt towards Peter. Then he stomped up stairs & slammed the door.

Remus scoffed in disbelief. "Touché man! Touché."

"I know we usually call you this, but now I'm going to say that Sirius has gone bloody mental," James glanced up the stairs a moment.

"I wonder what I did?" Peter put in. "Did you see the glares he gave me? On the way in & then before he stomped up there?"

"Never mind that, Wormtail," Remus waved it away with one hand. "Prongs is right. Padfoot's gone mental. Right before a Full Moon to. I hope he calms down or else I honestly think he shouldn't join us tonight." He glanced up the stairs & suddenly, he hissed like a cougar.

"Ah! Non, non (No, no)!" Peter put a hand on the were-pup's head, petting back some hair. "No hissing. Bad werewolf manners." Remus turned a golden gaze on him but Peter held up a piece of chocolate to appease—distract?—the Alpha. Remus pouted & butted his head into Peter's chest, sucking up. "Shame on you!" Peter stuffed the chocolate into the pup's mouth, ignoring the grumble. He looked at James who was shaking his head. "What? Alpha or not, he's got it bad for chocolate."

James nodded, snickering. "I know something that will cheer Padfoot up," He suddenly grinned, standing up. He went upstairs & entered the dormitory. "Oh Paddy-kins? Where are you?" He went in further, looking around.

Sirius's bed curtains were drawn closed. James went up to the right hand side. He heard sniffling. "Um, Padfoot?" After a long moment, James gave up & pulled back the curtain. Sirius was lying with his face buried in his arm. His whole body was heaving with sobs. James sat down & put a hand onto his friend's hip. Sirius recoiled with a yell. He had fallen so far down into depression that he didn't even notice James had come in.

Startled, Sirius glanced around. James held up his hand. Sirius sighed, heaving a breath as he tried to stop crying. He pressed both hands to his eyes & rubbed them. "Sorry. Prongs. I...I didn't hear you."

"What the devil is wrong with you?"

Sirius whispered, "Everything."

James waited for an explanation. When none came, he prompted. "Well, do tell?"

"I can't," Sirius shook his head. "Silent Oath."

"You made an oath with someone?" James stared, horrified. "Padfoot what did you get into?"

Sirius shook his head. He suddenly looked straight at James. "Prongs."

"Yes?"

"I will never betray you. Ok?"

James nodded. "Ok." He sighed heavily. "Ok. Look I don't know what's wrong, but I know the perfect remedy. Let's all head for the Shrieking Shack early today. We can beat up Snivelus." Sirius merely half-smiled & looked away. James went cold. Something had to be wrong if Sirius didn't even care about picking on Severus Snape. "Um...Padfoot? Didn't you hear? Snivelus is overdue for his daily dose of Marauders' humour." Sirius only sighed. "Padfoot you're scaring me!"

"Je suis désolé (I'm sorry)," Sirius shrugged.

"You're the only one of us who learned French completely," James snickered. "The rest of us can barely string two words together. Are you sure you don't have a thing for our sweet little Moon Dog? You DO know I'm trying to find a nice bitch to breed him to. I want some puppies."

"Hmm, I know one French word you know," Sirius glared. "Tais-toi (Shut up)!"

"Yeah well," James held up his hands. "I rest my case. Now, shall we go put Snivelus in his place or what?"

Sirius sighed again before standing up. "Little? Prongs, last time I checked, that thing is huge! Moony's bigger than Padfoot now on Full Moon nights even though Remus is still the short-arse."

James smiled slyly. "To what thing are you referring to? Exactly?" He dropped one eyelid.

Sirius cross-rolled his eyes shut. "I hate you."

"Good," James grabbed his friend's hand & hauled him along. "Let's go."

"Didn't you stop harassing that boy for Lily's sake? You two are dating now right?"

"Lily's gone to Hogsmeade, for the day," James explained. "But I saw Snivelus return quite recently. You're upset. Desperate times. Desperate measures. I'll just blame it on you."

"Merci (Thank you)!" Sirius groaned sarcastically as he found himself in front of Remus & Peter. James explained the situation, ignoring Remus's eye roll, before leading the way.

The four of them soon found themselves on the wide stairs leading down onto the grounds from the large doors that opened into the Entrance Hall. James, Peter & Sirius soon spotted Severus heading for the Quidditch Pitch & hurried after. Remus tried to follow but tripped down the stairs.

"You ok?" Peter came back to help him up.

"Oui. Merci, Wormtail (Yes. Thanks, Wormtail)," Remus gasped breathlessly, brushing himself off as dignified as he could. The pair hurried forward as Sirius & James suddenly levitated Severus up in the air. Dangling upside-down, James jerked his wand back & forth, shaking the Slytherin boy in the air. Remus sighed, saying to Peter, "I'm only allowing this for Padfoot's sake. He's really out of sorts. But I'll find a way to distract them in a moment." He put his hands into his pockets, then checked around. "Merlin's sake! I lost my wand."

"Probably when you tripped," Peter said. Careful not to give his Alpha orders without having chocolate handy, he asked, "Do you want to stay here, Moony? I can go grab it." Remus nodded as Peter turned & ran back. Remus watched James & Sirius taunt Severus some more.

Wand in mouth, Padfoot raised his head as he heard someone come running back. "Oy you mangy dog! That's Moony's!" Peter pulled out his wand. He barely had time to wonder why the dog looked familiar when the beast disappeared through the garden.

The last time Peter pulled out his wand against him, Padfoot had spent twelve years in Azkaban for it. Not thinking straight, Padfoot bolted through the rose bushes & down the hill towards the lake. Peter charged after.

Padfoot ended up by the lake. Quicker than a rabbit he transformed, shook Remus's wand in one fluid motion to form a blade & turned sharply. Peter's eyes went wide. He sunk down, sliding off the blade. Sirius pulled it up & out, then put a foot on Peter's chest to push him back. The haunted look of Azkaban swept over his eyes. "That was for James & Lily!" Peter rolled back into the water, his head going under. After a short struggle, he lay still.

Next moment, the elder Sirius, the four Marauders & Lily on her way back from Hogsmeade with her friends, all went to their knees, screaming while holding their heads. It was all the older Sirius could do to transform & hobble away, crying. He was going to die. The migraine was searing. Blinding. He dimly heard others screaming but wasn't sure who. Or cared. Padfoot just wanted to crawl into a hole & die.

Severus Snape went crashing to the ground. He slowly picked himself up & glanced around. Sirius & James were lying on the ground, backs arched as they grabbed their heads. Looking over at Remus, he could see the fangs were gritted so hard that they nearly cracked. Remus was crying out in pain as he pressed his fingers on either side next to his temples.

But it was her screams that affected him. Only hers. Severus grabbed the golden mane of a white unicorn browsing under the beech tree nearby & jumped onto its back. Ignoring the angry snort, he kicked its sides as it tried to buck. He kicked harder. Hogwarts unicorns were trained & had to listen despite their sexism. After another angry snort, the horse huffed & moved into an easy gallop. Severus used fistfuls of mane on either side to tug the horse left a bit & rode to the end of the road leading back to Hogsmeade. He jumped off as the beast raced by & landed beside her. "Merlin's sake! What's wrong with her?" Severus put one hand on Lily's face as he asked her girlfriends.

"I don't know!" Alice sobbed. "She just dropped to the ground screaming."

"Lily? LILY!" Severus grabbed one of her hands. He knelt down beside her & leaned in to her ear. "Legilimens." Pain. Like never before. Hit his mind like a dagger. Severus grunted but didn't close the link.

/Lean on me./

/SEVERUS! MERLIN PLEASE KILL ME!/

/Lean on me. Our minds are one. Let me bare the pain./

/Please please let me die!/

/I'll take care of you./

/...Seve...Severus.../

The link snapped. Severus sat back, head thrown back towards the sky as he let out a scream. Then he lay over on his side, passed out.

Alice put a hand to Snape's throat, feeling a faint breath. "We need to get them into the hospital wing. NOW!"

With a groan, Padfoot half-opened his eyes. He was alive? Not possible. He sighed long & slow. Yes he was still alive. He slowly lifted his head & glanced around, sniffing. It was dark now & the moon was up. The moon! Padfoot shot to his paws, only to keel over. He shifted to Sirius & stumbled forward like a drunkard. He put a hand out to stop himself crashing headlong into a sapling. What happened? Sirius looked around. He was down under one flank of the castle where the lake actually ran underneath a bit. The lake. Peter! Sirius looked at the shore but it was clear.

Peter was dead! Finally. After all the pain he caused, Sirius felt a weak relief, steadying himself against the sapling. His head still pounded a bit but it was subsiding. Sirius leaned his back against the sapling & stared up at the castle. He would be free now. It was time to write down what had happened that Halloween in 1981, then find James & give him both letters.

Letters which had a charmed seal on them, allowing no one but the receiver to open them.

First things first. Sirius shifted to Padfoot & stumbled towards the Whomping Willow. He had to. He missed the pack so much. He would merely observe from the sidelines. As he neared the tree, Padfoot found his footing & was able to walk a straight line. He ran forward, pouncing on the knot, then slipped inside.

Padfoot slowed down when he came to the other end. He listened for the barking of the two dogs, the clicking of hooves but all he could hear was snarling & whining. Padfoot poked his head out to find Moony...& only Moony. Merlin's sake where was the rest of the pack? Should he? Moony put his snout down & tore off a strip of flesh from his paw. Padfoot didn't need any more encouragement. He jumped out & whined. Moony glanced up, frozen in position. Padfoot trotted forward, wagging his tail.

Moony bared his fangs, growling. Padfoot promptly dropped to his stomach, hoping his Alpha would be pleased. Moony came over, snarling, sniffing. The dog looked like Padfoot. Smelled like him. But something was off. Moony grabbed the dog by the nape & tossed it over, then begin sniffing the underside. Definitely Padfoot. But how? More to the point, if the Grim dog did manage to get here, where was the Stag? The Rat? Oh well. Moony barked & sat down.

Padfoot jumped up & headed for the door. Barking excitedly, he nosed up the latch, then grabbed the bolt with his teeth & pulled. Moony came up beside him, licking Padfoot's snout in an attempt to help. Padfoot laid down on his forelegs & grabbed the bottom bolt to pull it out as well. He was taking Moony out. Both dogs were so excited that they jostled each other out the door & nearly got stuck in between. The moment they figured out how to get through, the pair shot forward & disappeared into the Dark Forest.

Padfoot couldn't believe it. Twelve years alone. He never thought he would get the chance to run with Moony again. They chased two terrified unicorns, dispersed an angry group of Centaurs having a meeting & badgered a lone vampire so much that it took off for the far edge of the Forest. Padfoot then turned on Moony & the pair chased each other in a circle, nipping each other's tails. They soon came upon an open field bare of grass but flooded in moonlight. Padfoot lay down, barking at Moony to join him. The two of them were soon fast asleep until the sunlight drifted in, touching Moony's fur.

Reversing the curse.

Padfoot leaped aside as Moony howled & contorted under the sunray's touch. The canine sounds gradually changed to the screams of a young man. Remus lay gasping & naked on the barren rock field. Padfoot bit his lip. He hadn't thought about this. He guiltily stepped forward & licked Remus's face.

Remus snickered. "Padfoot..." He gasped weakly. "Si jamais ... jamais quelque chose peut étre fait pour la douleur (If ever...ever something can be done for the pain)..." Padfoot merely licked his face again. There was nothing more he could do. Usually, he would transform & offer his cloak to Remus until they got back. All he had to offer now was the cloak of Azkaban. Remus didn't know. Only his younger self & soon enough, James. He had to keep the timeline as pure as possible. Remus sighed, closing his eyes. "Hmm que le soleil se sent bien (Hmm that sun feels good)."

Padfoot sat on his tail, thinking hard. Usually Remus would doze for at least half an hour, right after transformation. He looked back over his shoulder into the Dark Forest. Should he make a mad dash to the Shrieking Shack & grab Remus's clothes? They had come so far in. He looked back at the werewolf lying on the ground, eyes closed, dressed in nothing but the sun. Padfoot turned away.

"Padfoot?"

Damn it. He turned back. Go to sleep. Just go to sleep!

"Eh bien venez ici, vous chien fou (Well come here, you crazy dog)," Remus patted the ground beside him. "Où est Prongs & Wormtail (Where's Prongs & Wormtail)?"

Wormtail? Sweet Merlin! He didn't know yet? Padfoot did the best shrug he could do in this form.

"Sirius, vous pouvez revenir vous le savez (Sirius you can change back you know)," Remus laughed at him. Padfoot shook his head. "Wow, Prongs est juste pour vous n'est-ce pas (Wow, Prongs is right about you isn't he)?" Padfoot twisted his head upside-down almost like an owl, blinking. Remus sighed, switching to English. "It's ok. You don't want to change back right now 'cause you're going through a phase."

Padfoot blinked. What phase? Did Remus know about the timeline or not?

Remus yawned. "Wouldn't be the first time I see you blush. You're always trailing some girl. Plus," he added, a little crossly, "I've walked in on your mating habits more times than I care to count." Remus then scoffed. Padfoot raised one brow, suddenly understanding where this one-sided conversation was going. He did the best facepalm he could do with one paw. Here Remus was accusing him of some random crush—on Remus no doubt—yet he couldn't change to defend himself. If Remus saw the prison robes...no no, Sirius could not stand that hate. "James has been hinting about it. Been hinting about getting some pups to. Oh that man!" Remus lay his head back to glare up at the sky. "That said, you & I do need to have a talk about this sooner or la—mmf!" Padfoot had just put a paw on his mouth. Shut! Up! He moved to the edge of the trees & barked. Remus half sat up. "What are you doing?" Padfoot barked again. Remus rolled his eyes. "Wow! We really need to have a talk about this then. You're not seriously thinking of making me run naked all through the forest just to satisfy your curiosity?" Padfoot blinked. Remus blinked. "SIRIUS!"

Padfoot barked & dashed into the trees.

"Tu es mort! JE VAIS VOUR TUER! Revenez ici! (YOU ARE DEAD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! GET BACK HERE!)"

Padfoot skidded so hard to stop himself, that he flipped over backwards. He hung his head. Remus was merely joking this time, but it brought back a bad memory. Padfoot stood up & slowly walked away.

"SIRIUS PADFOOT ORION BLACK!" Remus came trotting up beside him. "Vous changez de retour cet instant. Cet instant, vous m'entrendez? Je suis votre Alpha. Aïe! Mmm merde! (You change back this instant. This instant, you hear me? I am your Alpha. OUCH! Mmm shit!)" Remus had stepped on a stone. "Chien stupide (Stupid mutt)!" As he stood against a tree rubbing his foot, Padfoot checked ahead, then looked back at Remus inspecting his foot. Padfoot hated it. Hated it so much but he had to. He suddenly fled the scene, heading for the Shrieking Shack. Remus calling out his name went echoing into the distance. Padfoot pounded hard towards the Shack. He would grab the clothes & come right back, meeting Remus along the way.

Padfoot burst into the Shack & dashed upstairs. Finding the robes, he sunk his fangs into them & hurried back as fast as possible. Leaving Remus in human form all alone in that Forest was the worst thing Padfoot had ever done. He stopped in front of the werewolf & dropped the clothes.

Remus glared, then snarled, baring his fangs, the only things that stayed the same human or wolf. Then he smacked Padfoot over the head. "Quel est le probléme avec vous? Attendez, Padfoot? Étes-vous nu? (What is wrong with you? Wait, Padfoot? Are you naked?)"

Padfoot hung his head. If only he was. Unfortunately, Remus took it the wrong way.

"Tu es un idiot (You're an idiot)!" Remus hissed, fangs gritted. "Je suis un loup. Je s'accouplent pour le vie. Vous ne gaites pas! (I'm a Wolf. I mate for life. You don't!)" At that, he got dressed as fast as possible & stomped away. "Attendez jusqu'à que nous arrivons a l'infirmerie, Black. Vous et moi nous allons avoir une conversation sérieuse! (Just wait until we get to the hospital wing, Black. You & I are going to have a serious talk!)" He continued forward without a backwards glance.

Padfoot half-smiled sadly, then turned & promptly disappeared into the forest. His younger self will just have to take the heat for this one.