My brain was flooded with different thoughts of my past. I stood still in present time as I adventured back into the past. My body was shaking with small tremors as the innocent girl's blood flooded freely inside of my body now.

I swallowed hard as one thought; one memory in particular came to mind. The first time I drank from the innocent. It wasn't on purpose, honest. It was an accident, but that accident turned me into a killer. Something I didn't want to be. Once you drink human blood it is harder to go back to animal blood, and that is how it is with going from guilty, to innocent. The innocent's blood is so sweet, the guilty one's blood is so sour.

But the memory, one that hunted me to that very day.

(Memory:)

I hadn't hunted for days on end. I was ravenous at that point. Looking for any opportune moment. It was the early 1940s, and the style was that of high waist paints that came down low at the leg, a white collar shirt, red tie, and suspenders. It was the style of the wealthy, and I just happened to be that of one. I carried my long suit-jacket over my shoulder, holding with just my pointer finger, and my other hand in my pocket as I walked lazily down the small street.

My eyes were an onyx black, with purple bags underneath. I was weak at this point, though I still wasn't as weak as a normal human being. Not paying attention, I stumbled slightly on a pipe that was sticking freely out of the New York Street. I was currently in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to meet up with some of my old vampire friends, of course during the night, and I was passing through New York to get to Canada.

I sighed at my newly found clumsiness. My eyes studied the dirty streets as my feet dragged slightly, and my arms swayed with laziness. My breathing became shallow as a cool breeze passed, causing my hair to whip around, in front of my eyes, as a sensational odor drifted my way.

My head lifted slightly, and hesitantly, trying not to catch the eye of the pray. There, a few feet away, a girl sat on the sidewalk in the alleyway, all alone, in the dead of night, all by herself. I laughed viciously to myself when I stopped just feet away.

I looked over her shoulder, her back was turned to me, and she was chalking little designs on the sidewalk with a piece of black board chalk. I saunter my way to the turned girl, and I leaned down, not bending my knees, right next to her ear.

"Hello," my voice drifted out slowly, smoothly. Completely irresistible, to any female human. Not because I carry around with me a big head atop of my shoulders, just simply because I've been told many times this.

She hesitantly turned to me. She didn't look more then a couple years younger then me… my physical features. "H-hi," she chocked out nervously.

I ruffled her hair playfully; I was getting caught up in the moment. I smiled a toothy smile right in her face, showing off my "pearly whites". After my big, toothy grin slipped from my face, to a dull, hazed smile. My eyelids drifted a bit downward, to cover half of my glazed eye. I breathed heavily in her face, to try and confuse her. Her mouth dropped open just a bit, and her eyes visibly clouded over. Her breath rushed toward my face, up my nostrils and into my mouth.

I lifted my hand to her cheek, and started to caress it. Her warm, frail body shook with light tremors, and her eyes started to become quick as she looked from side to side, from up to down, with out moving her head. Her hand reached up and grabbed a loss piece of hair that feel in front of her eyes, she played with it nervously.

The girl's hair was a dark, golden blonde, her eyes a crystal blue, rimmed with wide, fleshy lids. Her lips were full, and pink, a clueless expression played across her face. Her body was thin, but yet soft with a little bit of baby fat. She was wearing a long, purple evening dress that looked a little mature for a young adult; that is chalking on the pavement, but it still seemed to fit her odd womanly curves.

Her hair was in a half pony-tale, held up with a dark purple satin ribbon, and there were side bands handing in front of her left eye. Her hair was thick and wavy, falling just above her waist. Her breath had become shallow, and her thoughts became incoherent as she dazed up into my burgundy eyes.

Her body was half turned to me as she still sat on the ground. Her right arm supported her weight as she leaned back a little. Her left arm was hanging next to her side until her elbow bent, making half of her arm hang in the air with the yellow chalk dangling from her delicate fingers.

My eyes studied her face as she totally lost focus. The chalk slowly slipped from between her fingers, and dropped to the ground in a slow motion movement. When the chalk hit the ground it seemed to stop in time for just a second. It hit the ground with a soft clank. As it bounced back up, and hit the ground again it broke into five different pieced, and the light yellow dust scattered in the air.

My eyes drifted slowly upward -time seeming to move in slow motion- to her chalky-yellow hand resting on the ground, up her arm, to her other hand, to her finger tips. My eyes drifted on her whole body, not sure what I was going to do next, until the moment I would do it.

My dry tongue slipped over my teeth as I watched her, watch me. She was completely brain washed. Now, she would do anything I would ask, just for the simple reason that I, to humans, was completely and utterly luring, and gorgeous. She bit the side of her lip as her eyes drifted slowly across my lips. I knew I shouldn't have been seducing her that way, but I couldn't help it.

I slowly leaned down, I could fell the heat radiating off of her pale skin onto my almost translucent white skin. My cold lips touched hers for a brief moment until I pulled away just an inch, when I did that she took in a sharp breath; do to lack of oxygen. Once she caught her breath, I touched me lips to hers again. I pulled my long white fingers around her head, tangling my fingers in her golden hair.

Once she was losing breath, she put her arms up in shock, and then pushed them on my chest lightly, trying to get me off, but I wouldn't budge. She started to push harder, as I deepened the kiss, but once she figured out it was useless, she just resorted to whimpering. Tears flowed down her cheeks, as the pain to her lungs started to burn, but her cries where muffled by my active lips.

I kneeled down next to her, pulling her in front of me to face me. My nails started to dig into the back of her scalp, and I started to pull chunks of hair from her scalp. She tried to let out a scream of pain, but it was useless. She started to cry harder, and her body shook with violent tremors. I could feel the pressure of my squeeze start to crack her scull.

I bit down on her lower lip, hard, almost tearing it clear off. The blood dripped quickly into my waiting mouth. It was so different, the sensation that flooded through my body was like none other that I even experienced before. It was exhilarating; uplifting. The adrenaline was flowing fast, and freely now in my blood stream that was provided by other humans.

Her body squirmed, and wiggled, trying to get free, but I wouldn't let go. Finally the force of my strong hand cracked her scull. That finally stopped her damn, incessant moving. Her body fell limp in my cold hands, and the blood was incredibly strong in the air.

I moved quickly down to her neck, hoping to keep the blood fresh. My teeth penetrated the dead girls skin, my eyes drifted shut slowly, and my tongue made little circles on her skin as I sucked her dry. Images came flooding through my mind, as I just sat there, blood trickling down my chin to my white shirt.

Once I was finished I moved up slowly, opening my now-burgundy colored eyes. The blood was covering my chin, and the front of my shirt, the smell of it made me satisfied. Then I realized what I did; I couldn't care less. I didn't know why at the time why I didn't care, I guessed it was just my natural vampire instincts, and it turned out that I was right.

No matter how sweet somebody, or something might seem, you will always make a bad mistake at least once in your life, and that was the start of all of the bad mistakes to come.

(End memory)

I shook my head free of the dreadful thought. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know why all of a sudden I was so caring, why I cared all of a sudden what I did all of those years ago.

I looked around me, still stuck in my place. I looked at all of the other staring vampires. The all looked at me with remorse, and anger at the same time. Carlisle's face was twisted with disgust, and anger though, and that was all that mattered. No matter how wrong I always thought Carlisle's ways were, I always highly respected him for his sense of control.

I looked down at my feet and let out a long moan like sigh. Then I started to smell the blood again. My head, shot up and I looked in the direction that it was coming from. Alice was walking slowly towards up with Isabella's limp, whimpering body in her arms. Her onyx colored eyes held anger and fierceness as she danced her way over.

"We have to get her away," she whispered to Carlisle, not even bothering to give me a second glance. "She's going to start screaming soon."

Carlisle nodded his head once to her, taking Isabella's body from Alice's arms. I tried my hardest to stay away from her, but the smell was over whelming, and no matter how much I felt bad, I couldn't stop my burning hunger from growing larger. I went to make a leap for her, but Emmett's hand laced, and gripped my upper arm, stopping me from making any further advances.

I growled lowly to myself as I asked, "Why is this girl so important to you?"

"Because, she did nothing wrong," he growled in my face. I wasn't going to just deny his proposal for another fight, so I stepped forward, but before another fight could take place Esme put her hands between us and backed us up, Emmett still not loosening his grip.

"Stop it the two of you. This isn't the time," Esme told up, a low snarl coming from her chest.

Emmett continued, "She is just a innocent girl, she deserves a life, but you selfishly took it from her. Have you ever thought of all of the lives that you have taken for your own pleasure? Have you ever thought of the easier ways to live this lifestyle that was cursed upon us? Hmm?" he asked. I just looked at him, hatefully. "I want an answer!" he roared at me after a minute or so.

"How am I supposed to answer your silly questions? I didn't ask for this lifestyle! I didn't ask for my life to turn in this direction! This was inevitable! I couldn't stop it! No matter how much I would of liked to!" I yelled. "I wish that day never came, I wish I would have been smart enough to hunt, but I wasn't at the time, and now I can't turn around and change it all," I said in more of a calm voice.

Emmett put his hands on each side of his head as he yelled, "To hell with what you have to say! You could of stopped yourself! But you didn't! And now look what you have done! You have ruined many other lives for your own selfish purposes!"

I didn't know how to react, or respond to what he was saying. No one ever told me it like this. Hell I never stayed in one place long enough for someone to explain it to me like this.

I looked down at my shoes, ashamed, but then I whispered loud enough for a human to hear, "I don't care." I looked up, "I don't care," I said a little louder. "I could care less!" I yelled. "I don't know them! No skin of my cold, dead back!" I laughed at my own joke. "These are just useless humans that mean nothing! They are a lower being then us! We are much more advanced then them!" I yelled, smirking.

"But… what if it was your own mother that was taken? When you were still alive that is," Rosalie stepped forward and asked.

I looked away, taking her question into consideration. What if it was my mother? I would have been terribly angry, but yet… I do it to others. My mother was always very protective, and uptight, but she was always funny, and she would of done anything to get a laugh out of people, even if it was improper for a woman at that time. She would make funny faces, and chase the ducks at the pond when I was little just to see me laugh. She would do anything for the ones she loved and that is why she requested for Carlisle to do "anything" in his power to make sure I would survive the Spanish Influenza. But I turned my back on her, and she would be greatly disappointed in me now, for the path that I have chosen.

My eyebrows furrowed as I became confused at what I should do, "I-I guess you're right." I swallowed hard as I searched the ground for an answer.

"Damn right!" Emmett roared.

"Stop it!" Rosalie scolded.

I looked at them and shook my head, for some reason, I still felt right in my head, but I didn't continue the argument. I followed Alice as she walked slowly to the house, Isabella still squirming and whimpering. When we got into the house Alice took two steps at a time, still going human speed, up to her own room. Alice didn't give me any mind that I was still there, she just ignored me.

I held my breath as I watched her place Isabella down on the bed, as she glided across the room, grabbing various items. Isabella's eyes never left me, she just keep on staring, and watching. She was trying her hardest not to scream, I could tell by the way her throat keep on flexing. I looked away in shame, thinking of what Emmett said to me. It was all so true, and the thing that really struck me was Rosalie's question. Suck a small statement mad my mind turn, and struggle for the truth.

I was still standing there as Alice walked over again, she started to change her, and so I turned my eyes to the ruby red carpet. When I looked back Isabella was in a stunning yellow sundress.

"We want her to be comfortable when she gets up, right?" Alice finally said something after ten minutes of awkward silence.

"Yeah. Yeah, right," I answered in a shaky voice.

Isabella gasped, and started to whimper. The tears were cascading down her cheeks and her voice was shaky as she sucked in some air. I watched her as she twisted and turned, trying to stop herself from screaming. That's all I did the first say, watch her struggle and whimper out of pain.

Finally, when the second day came, she let out an ear-shattering scream, a scream that could make anyone cry. The fire was torturing her; she wanted water to put it out. I couldn't read her mind, nor could I fell what she was felling at that moment, but every vampire feels that way during the change. I felt it, Carlisle has felt it, and everyone has felt it that went through those three torturous days.

I laid my cold hand on her forehead, trying to sooth her. It helped a little, I could tell by how little she was moving by now. He tears were almost gone by then, only little was coming out, and she hated every minute. Again, how do I know? Because I went through it. For some odd reason I was feeling great sympathy for her, I was hurting inside for her. I felt like my dead heart was breaking in two as I watched her squirm.

The third day came not quick enough, and by this time she only had a few more hours. I was becoming tired of lack of hunting. I was so use to hunting everyday, that I became use to that lifestyle. I held her hand- for reasons I don't know- as she squirmed, and screamed. I was there for her the whole entire time.

Finally, it was coming to an end. She arched her back and let out an ear-shattering scream. I covered my ears with my hands as I waited for her to stop. See, because vampires have much more sensitive ears it hurts, badly, when a loud, high-pitched noise erupts near us.

When the screaming finally stopped, I looked at her. She was just staring up at me, her eyes looking lazy and tired, and she was taking in unnecessary, large breaths.

"Hi," I choked out.