It's Just A Little Crush
A month had passed since Lexa's first date with Clarke, and the girls had been hanging out together whenever they could. They mainly went for dates at Grounders, went bowling or had a picnic in the park. Lexa still wanted to take things slow with Clarke and know for definite how they both felt about each other before taking it to the next level. They hadn't even discussed the status of their relationship, although Lexa definitely wasn't dating anyone else, and neither was Clarke. She was pretty sure she knew how she felt about Clarke, but it was still hard for her to completely let her walls down.
It was midday Friday when Lexa got a surprise visit at work from Clarke. She knew that Clarke had worked an early shift and she had texted her that morning to say she was going home after work for a while before she would be back to collect Raven. So Lexa was very surprised to see Clarke standing in the doorway of her office. She had her work clothes on but she truly looked stunning, and was holding a brown paper bag and a cup holder with two coffee cups inside.
"I thought you might be hungry and would like to have lunch with me" Clarke said walking over to the desk and putting the bag on the table before leaning over to give Lexa a quick kiss on the lips. At this point she heard a knock on the glass wall separating her and Ravens offices and was greeted by Raven pretending to vomit and laughing. This too made Lexa and Clarke laugh in return, they knew Raven was only messing around and that she didn't actually mind at all.
"Thank you so much for thinking of me Clarke" Lexa said happily.
"I know how hard you work, and Raven has said how you don't always stop to eat so I wanted to make sure you had something today. It was also an excuse to see you, I've missed you" Clarke responded with a smile, and her cheeks blushing.
Lexa had missed Clarke too, it had only been two days since they last saw each other, but she was starting to miss her more and more when they weren't together. She was just trying not to fall too hard and fast for Clarke, but she couldn't deny the way she felt inside.
The girls finished lunch and decided to go on a date that evening. Clarke told Raven she would be back to get her later and said she was going to go home for a while to have a nap before her date that evening.
Lexa's afternoon went really quickly and it was finally time for her to leave. She went to the car park to meet Anya, where they talked about their days. Lexa told Anya that Clarke had came to the office for lunch and that it had really made her happy as nobody had ever done that for her before. She said it with such happiness and the biggest smile on her face that Anya couldn't help but smile too.
"You have it bad for her Lex. You haven't gushed like this since you and Costia first got together. It's been a month now, when are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?" Anya said to her sister.
"Ugh, please don't remind me of Costia. I really do like Clarke, but it's just a little crush. I don't think I can let myself allow it to be anything more" Lexa replied with a sigh. It might have just started as a little crush, but it was definitely developing into more now.
"Lexa, you quite clearly have feelings for Clarke and she's good for you. I know you have been hurt in the past, but you deserve love. Clarke isn't Costia." Anya said squeezing Lexa's hand.
Lexa sighed, she knew that Clarke wasn't Costia, but she was so afraid of opening herself up completely and trusting someone else with her heart in case it was broken again. She was also afraid to be intimate with someone, so much so it made her feel sick. But she couldn't deny that she wanted to be intimate with Clarke.
"I just have to be certain that Clarke is genuine and isn't going to break my heart. I also don't know if I'm ready for her to see all of me yet" Lexa replied, her voice shaking a little.
"I know that it scares you, but if Clarke feels the same way that you so obviously do, she will accept all of you. You can't let this girl get away, I have never seen someone look at you with such admiration and love in their eyes like Clarke does" her sister answered.
She knew that she was falling for Clarke; she just had to hope that Anya was right and she would accept all of her, and protect her heart. Anya had planned to spend the weekend at their parent's house, so Lexa would have the apartment to herself. She decided to text Clarke a proposition for their date.
Lexa: Anya is away for the weekend, would you like to come to mine tonight instead of going out and I will cook for us both?
Clarke: That sounds perfect, I'm looking forward to finally seeing your apartment :)
Lexa smiled, she hadn't invited Clarke to their apartment yet, keeping all of their dates in public places so they couldn't move too quickly. But she was finally ready for Clarke to see where she lived, and thought it would be nice to cook for them both. She let Clarke know the address and told her to come round around eight. She asked Anya to stop at the store and brought all the ingredients for her signature dish- paella. She knew Clarke liked this as she had ordered it at a restaurant on one of their dates, and was looking forward to her sampling her own.
Once home Lexa prepared all the ingredients so they would be ready to cook when Clarke arrived, and had a quick shower and got herself ready. Even though their date was in her apartment, she still wanted to look nice. She put on a pair of black skinny jeans with a coral coloured blouse. She didn't want any stray hairs to get into the food so she decided to wear her hair differently tonight, pulling her dark locks into a high bun. She applied her makeup and perfume and went into the kitchen to get two wine glasses out of the cupboard and waited for Clarke to arrive. It got to around seven fifty when she heard a knock on the door, and excitedly went to open it. Standing in front of her was Clarke, holding a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. She had white jeans on and a plaid shirt, her hair was styled in curls and she had applied eyeliner that really made her eyes pop. Lexa thanked her for the flowers and wine, giving her a kiss and invited her into the apartment.
"Wow, this apartment is gorgeous! Thank you so much for inviting me over" Clarke exclaimed.
"You're welcome, would you like a glass of wine?" Lexa asked.
"That would be perfect, can I help with anything?" she replied.
"You are the guest and I am going to wait on you this evening so sit back and relax" Lexa replied leading Clarke over to the couch.
Clarke sat there for around ten minutes before dinner was finally ready. Lexa had set the table with candles and Clarke had commented on how sweet it was. The girls enjoyed their food and each other's company. They finished of the meal with a chocolate fudge cake and Lexa began taking the dishes to the sink. She was then going to get some more wine when she felt hands wrap around her waist, turning around she met Clarkes gaze and saw a smile on her face.
"You are the first person who has ever cooked for me on a date. I think I'll keep you." Clarke said kissing Lexa attentively.
"I am honoured to be your first" Lexa replied through kisses.
"Lexa, can I ask you something?" Clarke stated with a serious expression on her face.
Worried about she wanted to ask her, Lexa took a deep breath before answering. "You can ask me anything you like Clarke"
Clarke smiled and took Lexa's hands into her own, looking at her for a few moments before finally speaking again "We have been dating for almost a month now, and I haven't been dating anyone else. I know you haven't either. I would love to take this relationship to the next level, but I get the feeling that you might not feel the same way"
Lexa's heart dropped, she most certainly did feel the same way and wanted things to progress. She was just so frightened of feeling the way she did after Costia again. It almost broke her completely and she couldn't allow that to happen again, but she also didn't want to let Clarke go either. She truly made her happy when they spent time together and she felt so comfortable in her presence. She had never met someone like Clarke before and she had already started to ease some of the ache in her heart. She knew she would have to be honest with her and tell her exactly how she felt, no matter how hard it was. She explained what had happened with Costia, and that she was terrified of giving her heart to someone for them to go and break it.
Clarke brought her into a hug and spoke softly into her ear "I promise you that I am not playing games, I really do like you Lexa. You are an amazing person and I would love to call you mine officially. Ever since we met I have only had eyes for you. If you give your heart to me I will protect it with my life"
Lexa felt a tear fall from her face and moved her head back so she could look into Clarke's eyes. She knew now how Clarke really felt and she just had to trust that she would stick to her word. Life is about more than just surviving after all and she couldn't let this girl slip through her fingers. She really did feel that she could be happy with her. Sometimes you have to take risks and let your walls down.
Clarke wiped away the tear and brought Lexa into a kiss, Lexa continued the kiss for a few minutes before breaking it and looking into Clarke's eyes again, before asking nervously "Will you be my girlfriend Clarke?"
The blonde had the biggest smile on her face and a single tear rolled down her face; she brought one of Lexa's hands up with her own and kissed her hand before kissing her lips then finally answering, "It would be an absolute honour".
