Chapter 4

To Severus horror, the pulse was weak and he would not survive if he did not get treatment. Severus was at Harry in a hurry, summoning bandages as well as a few potions "Accio bandages, blood replenishment, healing potion and salve" trying to stop the horror he felt rising in him. Before he realised what this was like for Harry, Harry who had his whole life ahead of him and here was someone like him trying to rip it away from him.

Severus thought back to when he was fifteen what would he have done if he was made to marry a Potter? When he thought about it, he said to himself 'I'd kill myself with a potion though, good job he didn't or there would defiantly be no going back'. With a sigh, he rubbed Harry's throat getting him to swallow the potion, Harry started wakening up when he swallowed the blood-replenishing potion, that was what had made him fall unconscious in the first place, blood loss.

Harry tried to get up, to no avail, Severus had a pretty tight hold on him and didn't look like he was going to let go of him anytime soon. Although that didn't stop him from struggling, he didn't want this but his body wanted nothing more than curl up around him, wanting a bit of comfort from someone who had saved his life. Even thought it was because he was the boy who lived.

"Let me go!" said Harry he cursed himself for showing weakness, Gryffindor or Slytherin were not supposed to show weaknesses, his voice was cracked and lade with exhaustion, but Severus still didn't let him go. Looking down he began speaking, he was so close to Harry's ear that he had no choice but to listen to the man he was going to be bound to for the rest of his life. His husband to be,

"I know this is hard for you Harry, I will make it as easy as possible for you, I promise just don't take the easy way out, please, I know you hate me but don't please," said Snape, he never begged for nothing. He knew if Harry died so would his last hope he knew Harry would in the end defeat the dark wizard. If Harry died then the dark side would win, and he would die before he did more evils for that man, he has hated doing it for the past fifteen years, maybe more or so.

"How could you know what it's like" snapped Harry loosing his patience with his teacher, he was hungry annoyed scared and for the first time he felt fear. Fear for his future, fear of the control Snape had over him, fear for himself, and fear of the unknown.

"I guess not, because contrary to popular belief I do not hate you, I just mealy act like I do" said Severus, who was trying patiently to explain everything to Harry without loosing his temper.

"I already know what you do in class is an act, for the dark lord" said Harry. Knowing from his visions that it hurts when someone says the dark lords name near his followers. The mark hurts, that was the main reason Snape never calls him anything but the dark lord, Harry had been in so many visions he had started unconsciously calling him the dark lord. After he realised his head hurt a tiny bit every time he called him Voldemort, it was just recently that it had began happening. He guessed it was because Voldemort was getting stronger, unaware that some time ago that Severus had thought the exact same.

Severus Snape was sat there stunned, Harry Potter knew what he done for the order, and didn't say anything, he asked "Why do you hate me so much if you know it's an act?" said Severus sounding hurt, that someone knew and still hated him for what he had to do.

"Because I would hate to blow your cover and get you killed, do you have any idea how many Slytherins are spying on you day in and day out?" said Harry ludicrously

"NO" said Severus wondering how the conversation was going to go, he could hear Harry's voice he would not be able to stay awake much longer. And wondering how much Harry knew, and how he knew so much.

"Crabbe, Goyle, Draco and Nott are the ones watching you, they have been in your office and private rooms, how I will never know" said Harry, thinking 'you probably gave them the password so they could talk to you any time they wanted' Harry felt exhausted, but wanting to stay awake, and aware.

"How the hell could you know that, and when were they in my office?" asked Severus, a part of him panicking, what if they knew he was a spy and just needing evidence to show Voldemort. What if he already knew? He mentally slapped himself. He was not going back, he was marrying potter and was getting rid of the mark for good. The thought that they already knew made him queasy.

"That's what happens when you have an invisibility cloak and a map of the entire school, I've found charms to change it, to show me more. In addition, there are places I want to add to the map that no one had ever found, I know more about Hogwarts than my father. I've only been there five years and I was no animagus like them then," said Harry who looked proud of his accomplishments.

Severus for the first time in years, saw that Harry actually looked proud of what the had done, he realised that the others didn't look quite right, then he was faking it and this time, it was for real. He was really proud of knowing more about the school than his father. He cursed himself for not seeing through the masks that Harry had built up, he knew the blood loss was making him tell Severus things he would not tell anyone, he was too tired realise who he was talking to.

With that, Harry fell into the unconsciousness that had been calling him for the past ten minutes. When Harry fell unconscious, Severus sighed he knew he was going to have to take Harry to the hospital wing. He had to make sure the boy was all right he was no medic wizard, and Poppy was the best they had. Carefully picking up his soon to be husband Severus picked him up and grabbing the floo powder, he yelled "Hogwarts hospital wing, madam Pomfrey" with that he went twirling through all the fireplaces, and came gracefully out of the other end.

Madam Pomfrey walked out of her office when she heard the fire turn, someone needed her help, she walked out, she didn't expect to see Severus Snape cradling Harry Potter to his chest like if he let go he would die, seeing the blood he wondered what happened. Severus put Harry on one of the beds, causing Poppy to gasp when she saw the bandaged wrists, she started the diagnostic spell before getting potions, and doing spells, getting the boy stable, removing the bandages she would see they were not done properly, not that she would blame him for not doing it properly. He probably got a shock seeing Harry Potter trying to kill himself, just as she herself done, and she liked Harry. Not because she was asked to, she was not even a part of the order if she had she would have told Harry long ago, but she did not know Harry already knew.

She gave Harry a dreamless sleeping potion, Severus had just sat down when the headmaster came in, took one look at Harry's wrists, and said "Severus come to my office now, please" before walking back out of the infirmary. Not looking back to see that Severus was following him, he walked right up to his office. Severus followed his robes not billowing around him as they used to.

"Chocolate buttons" he said to the Goyle to the headmaster's office and began walking up the stairs wondering how this conversation was going to go. Opening the door he sat down, across from the headmaster, closing his mind of he did not trust the headmaster not to try to read his mind. He did not want to the headmaster to see how horrified he had been to find Harry in a pool of his own blood, when a couple of years ago he had wished that he were dead. Now he did not want him dead.

"What happened Severus?" asked Dumbledore his eyes loosing there twinkle, unable to believe that Harry Potter had just tried to kill himself. He knew that if he did then the war was lost before it had even started, properly anyway. Fawkes thrilled in the background; the office was the same as it always is.

"After you left, I was lost in thought for a while, wondering how we were going to get Potter to do it, I ran up the stairs to check on him. His face was pretty bad as well as his concussion, but I got there he was not there went to the bathroom, he was in there his wrists slit. I healed them the best I could then brought him to madam Pomfrey," said Severus. He had not wanted to tell the old man but he knew he would have to; he did not like not knowing everything. This Severus knew he had to know every detail.

After he had to tell the headmaster, he went to his room, which was not like everyone made it out to be, his rooms were silver black and cream. He liked his rooms, drinking he drank a lot. However, not enough to drink himself into obliviation, unfortunately, he fell asleep some time later. When he could no longer keep his eyes open, falling asleep on his black couch he grabbed a green comforter and fell asleep. Wondering if maybe Harry might just might want to get to know the real him, something no one else wants to do. The order trust him, but they never ever want to get to know the real him.

The next morning he walked down to the infirmary, he wanted so see if Harry was ok, he was still there and still asleep, he had been informed that there was an order meeting tonight by a letter carrying one of the school owls, which he scared away.

Severus

Order meeting tonight, 8 pm Please be on time good day

Albus.

He burnt it as soon as he got it, he knew better than to leave something like that lying around. He just wondered what was going to happen, he had a vague idea, tells everyone in the order, Dumbledore see Harry and make him feel guilty about trying to kill himself, and he knew the headmaster well. He just wondered if it worked on Harry anymore, by the looks of things they must.

Harry slept until dinnertime before a nurse trying to get him to eat waked him up. That was the last thing he did, he just sat there eating nothing, playing with his food, rolling it around his plate.

"Are you going to eat that or sit and play with it, trust me you are going to need it Dumbledore will be down here soon" said Severus, without his usual venom, which was usually present, that was the reason Harry actually replied because he didn't speak to him like he was a bug that was irritating him.

"I'm going to sit and play with it, I don't like it and everyone should know that after all it's been in the paper. Famous Harry Potter doesn't like this and that as if they have nothing else to do" snarled Harry. How he hated that name, that name represented to him. No family the day his parents died, the sacrifices of his mother, being dumped on his aunts doorstep because of it, because he was an icon. He wondered if his parents knew about the manipulative man the headmaster was, and why they didn't make sure I had a good home, then again thought Harry 'they went into hiding the didn't expect to die'.

"You don't seem upset that the headmaster is coming, why? And why did you talk to the headmaster like that in Grimmauld place?" asked Severus curiously wondering if he knew about the headmaster's manipulations also wondered how long he had known and how he found out. Severus honestly thought the way the werewolf acted around he headmaster was disgusting as well as the way the Weasley's. They hound around the man as if he was their master, if Severus were honest, he would say he has had enough of Dumbledore and Voldemort and just wanted it to end.

"You can quit the act, Snape; I know what his is like the manipulative bastard. And who would not talk to the headmaster that way, he was throwing my life away as if it were nothing. And not forget making my visions seem like child play, well if he wants he can fucking have them see how long he lasts" said Harry. He was really in a bad mood and was not going on pretending, fuck the wizarding world he was going to play this his way.

"And why would I be upset, oh right I'm meant to be disappointed that I've let Dumbledore down, after all his has done so much for me," said Harry sarcastically. Before saying, "Someone get me the tissues!"

Harry was taken aback when Severus, laughed, really laughed like he had not done in a long time, he could not keep it in, Severus had thought that Harry Potter would forever be Dumbledore's pawn how wrong he was he was laughing at the fact that the sneer Harry had on his face. He had never seen Harry sneer and he found he suited it, looking at Harry for a while he saw he was no longer a boy, he was loosing his baby roundness, his hair was straighter and his hair had red streaks in it, his glasses were still those awful round things with tape around the middle of them. He asked without thinking about it,

"You are bloody rich beyond words why do you wear those horrible glasses and those horrible rags that I saw you put in your trunk, aren't your aunt and uncle well off?" asked Severus curiously.

But it was then Dumbledore came in his usual fashion and twinkle gone from his eyes, he looked every bit the powerful wizard he really is, not that Harry cares really, all he would need to do is look in the mirror he knew the power that used to radiate from himself.

"Harry, I'm disappointed in you, how could you do that? What would have happened to your friends and the rest of the wizarding world? Don't you think at all Harry? I'm afraid I'm going to need to keep a better eye on you if you are going to go suicidal on us," said Dumbledore looking down at Harry.

"Kindly stop trying to get into my mind headmaster!" said Harry his voice would and could have cut steel, the jaded green orbs swirled with power that had been suppressed when he entered the wizarding world.

"well someone needs to, after all we need to know what was going thought that head of yours, Severus you might as well try you will have more success than me" said Dumbledore looking at Severus, Dumbledore had thought Severus would be glad to get to do something against Harry's will but was surprised to see Severus not wanting to.

"I don't think that's the best idea headmaster, one he has just tried to kill himself. I would really hate for him to try again and two its illegal when this comes out I do not want arrested for hurting the boy who lived. I've done lots for you Albus, I practically raped Harry's mind all year, only to find out you didn't tell him why he was to learn Occlumency" said Severus softly. Harry heard everything and felt proud that someone had spoken up for him and to the headmaster too, all he could think to himself was 'perhaps this might just work out'.

"You have no choice Severus, you better have news by the end of the night, I would really hate for to put you in Azkaban" said Dumbledore, leaving the hospital wing.

Severus was not overly shocked he had been threatened with Azkaban before, he was surprised to see Harry not shocked too, Harry knew what Dumbledore was like, and after all, he knew that Dumbledore kept Sirius in Azkaban because he wanted him as a pawn. It did not shock him to see him threaten Snape with Azkaban, just made him angry.