Chapter 4

Meredith was at the hospital working at charts at the nurse's station when she felt someone looking at her.

"Derek," she said simply.

"Meredith, I, we, need to talk."

"No Derek, we don't, you and I broke up. You are going out with Rose and most importantly Izzie needs me right now. Right now it isn't about Derek and Meredith and their broken relationship, right now it's about Izzie, and so no we don't need to talk."

Meredith stood up and walked away leaving a very confused Derek behind. Just the Dr. Bailey walked up to Derek.

"Dr. Shepard," she said, "I think right now you need to step back and let her go. I don't know and I don't care about your relationship but that girl has been through a hell of a lot for her friend tonight and she doesn't have room in her head for you."

Back at the house Izzie lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. Downstairs Alex sat at the table looking aimlessly at the wood. In George and Lexie's apartment George lay on the ancient sofa and stared at the stolen sheets.

The next morning it was raining and cold. Meredith arrived home early from her shift just as Alex was leaving. The first thing she did was go up to see Izzie.

"Iz," she said softly, opening the door, "Can we talk?"

"I guess you have a right to know what's going on."

"I think that would help a lot."

"Okay," said Izzie, taking a deep breath, "when I was a kid I went to a rough high school, everybody acted like they were about twenty five, everyone took drugs and smoked and drank. So one day I found out I was pregnant and I freaked. I didn't even know who the father was. Getting rid of it wasn't and option, so I kept it and gave it away. I didn't here of her for ages until a little while ago she showed up at the hospital and needed a bone marrow transplant. I didn't even get to see her."

"Alright, thank you for telling me. Now do you have any idea what you want to do?"

"I want to adopt Hannah back, if she wants. I'm not doing anything she doesn't want."

"And what about work Izzie," Meredith said kindly.

"I don't know, I mean she's in school, and I guess I could get a nanny for her and talk to the chief about rearranging my schedule."

"And also Izzie if you really want to do this we're here for you. I will look after her when I'm home and Alex will help too. I'll make him. Remember your not alone Iz."

"Thank you mer. I want to try and make this work."

"Okay now do you want to go see if Hannah is awake?"

"Yes, yes I'll go do that."

Izzie knocked softly on the guest room door.

"Um, Hannah, are you there?"

The room was empty. Quickly Izzie left and went outside. Meredith saw the fear in her eyes and they both looked around desperately. Then, as one their eyes rested on the shut bathroom door and Alex knocking impatiently on it.

"What hey what are you doing out here," asked Alex, "Who's in there then?"

Wordlessly the two women went to the door and quietly Izzie opened it. Lying on the floor was Hannah. Izzie shut the door behind her and lay down next to her daughter.

"Um Hannah, can i get anything for you? Do you want to get up?"

Hannah just looked at her blankly. She didn't talk or even seem to see Izzie. She was ignoring her with ever fibre of her body.

"Um Hannah, do you want me to go away."

Almost imperceptibly Hannah nodded.

"Okay do you want to see anyone? Maybe Meredith?"

Again Hannah nodded.

"Okay I'll send her in."

Out in the hallway Izzie leaned against the wall while Meredith hovered around her anxiously.

"Iz, what did she say?"

"You," Izzie sighed, "She wants to see you."

"Um, um okay Iz, I'm sorry maybe because she's my patient, I don't know why."

"Just, go. This isn't about me and bonding with my daughter right now. It's about getting her through her pain. And remember how you helped me. Maybe you could help her."

Meredith went into the bathroom and lay down beside Hannah. She was crying now. Silent tears sliding down her cheeks.

'I -," muttered Hannah, "I- I don't know it just feels like. . ."

"Like everything is moving too fast and your just stuck there?" said Meredith.

"Yeah," said Hannah, "yeah it's exactly like that. How did you- how do you-"

"Know what it feels like?" supplied Meredith, "because of Izzie. Did you know that last year her fiancée died from a heart attack less than a day after they got engaged. Izzie was going to this ball thing and she found him dead just lying there in his hospital gown."

Meredith paused.

"What happened," Hannah asked choking back tears.

"She did exactly what you did. She came home and lay here on the floor of this bathroom. She didn't shower or even change. She was still in ball gown."

"I just feel so alone, like everyone is out there and doesn't know what this feels like. What I'm going through. I feel dead, empty like my insides were wrenched out and replaced with new ones and those new ones are Izzie."

"Listen to me Hannah," said Meredith, "I don't know what you're going through. I've had my share of dark and twisty moments but what your going through is different. But Izzie, she understands, Hannah, she does. You could talk to her if you want because she knows what this is like for you."

Meredith paused again.

"Oh and another thing Hannah," she half whispered, "You're not alone."

Authors Notes: Hey thanks for the reviews I got this up as soon as possible! PLease Keep Reviewing!