Disclaimer: Characters belong to Mr Wolf and I'm just playing. The song's not mine either.

This story was inspired by a review MrsLee made last year, it's just taken me a while to get it done…so that being the case, Laura, this one's for you.

Thanks to all those who have alerted – feel free to drop me a line.

-------------------Songbird--------------------

For the next four Thursdays Olivia headed out to Binga's and performed a variety of songs, keeping a special Tina Arena one to perform just before she ended her first set. It was the second night when she dedicated the song to Elliot and by the fourth week everyone was waiting for it… every song of hers was performed well but they all knew there would be something special about the song which followed the words, "this one's for Elliot".

On this night she was more nervous than anytime before…she had discovered a new Tina Arena song and it summed up everything about her daily existence.

So good
When it's good I wanna spend my whole life lovin' you
But I'm tired
And you don't know how close I've come to leaving you
You try my patience

And you race me to the wire
It takes every ounce of my will and desire
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like crazy
If I didn't love you baby
As much as I do
I'd just walk out the door
I couldn't take it anymore
I wouldn't put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
It's hard
But you won't give up 'till you
Push me to the wall
But I know
You're the only one who'll be there for me
When I call (oh yes you will)
I can't help believing
That it's worth it somehow
Cause I've worked too damn hard
To wanna give up now
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like crazy
If I didn't love you baby
As much as I do
I'd just walk out the door
I couldn't take it anymore
I wouldn't put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
Nah, If I didn't
If I didn't love you like I do
When you love someone
Nothings black or white
When the riptide runs
There's no wrong or right
I'll sail with you but I'll refuse to drown
So don't you take me down, down
Take me down down
Don't you take me down, down, down
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
I'd walk out that door
I don't need it anymore
Need to put up with what you put me through
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you
If I didn't love you like I do o o o
I'd walk out that door
I'm not comin' back no more
No more

When she'd finished she sat down at her usual table and Rikki joined her.

"So, Liv, when am I going to meet Elliot?" she asked. It had been seven months since she first met Olivia just days after the explosion, she had heard his name mentioned on many occasions during their therapy sessions, she saw the love in Olivia's eyes when she sang for him but she was yet to set eyes on the man himself.

"You're not," she grinned, determined to keep this part of her life a secret.

"And why would that be?" Rikki asked.

"Because it's complicated and…" she paused and looked at Rikki, "and, I'm not going there."

"He doesn't know you love him, does he?" Rikki said, gazing at the table, Olivia shook her head. "Don't you think it's about time you told him?"

"Nope," she replied. "Not going to happen."

Rikki grinned; she had her own ideas about that.

Late Friday afternoon and things at the precinct weren't going as smoothly as Olivia's transition from detective to singer. There was an edge in the air which hadn't been there before her injury and wasn't evident when she was at her desk, choosing only to invade the squad room in her absence. Don stood in his office looking out at the bullpen, each of the four detectives with their heads down working away.

Normally a boss would be pleased to see a fully engaged workforce but not Don – the complete lack of banter, chatter or sound indicated something more was afoot. He studied each man, trying to figure out the origins of the uneasiness. It wasn't Lake, none of the other three would take notice of him and had he done something wrong they would have put him in his place, loudly. He watched Fin, he hadn't changed, hadn't done anything wrong, to his knowledge anyway. He watched as Fin quickly looked up and glanced between Munch and Elliot – Don had his answer.

"Munch, Stabler, my office," Don shouted and they obeyed. When both were standing before their boss he began. "I have no idea what's going on out there and between you two but I know it has something to do with Olivia and I KNOW it won't be a problem by Monday. Clear out for the day and sort it out, got it?"

"Yes sir," they responded in unison.

Elliot slid into the booth at the bar and sat opposite Munch; he sipped his beer and wiped away the foam from his top lip. He knew this moment was coming for a while and he had prepared himself for it.

"Go ahead and say it," Elliot said, looking down at his beer.

Munch took a mouthful of beer and stayed silent. "Go on," Elliot prompted. "You've been itching to say something for a while now." He glanced up at him and watched as his friend and colleague leaned back in the seat, still not speaking.

"Tell me you think I'm to blame for Olivia's injury. Tell me if it wasn't for my pig-headed arrogance she would have walked away that day instead of being paralysed," Elliot said, his voice becoming louder and edgier. Munch's continued silence frustrated him no end. "Speak, you bastard!"

"I don't have to speak, Elliot, you seem to be having a nice conversation with yourself there," he said dryly.

"It's what you were thinking," Elliot retorted.

"No, it's what you were thinking," he replied. "Not my problem with you at all."

Elliot studied Munch. "Then what's your problem with me?" he asked.

"You really want to know?" Munch asked and Elliot nodded.

"My problem, Elliot, is your apparent complete disregard for your partner's wellbeing," he said quietly.

"Isn't that just what I said?" Elliot asked confused.

"Not quite – you think the issue is the explosion…" he began.

"And isn't it? I mean if I hadn't…" Elliot interrupted.

"El, we all make decisions out on the job some work out, some don't. You obviously have a lot of guilt to work through but my issue with you is related to after the explosion," Munch explained.

"I was unconscious after it," Elliot said in his own defense.

"What, for the five months?" he asked.

"What? What do you mean 'five months'?" Elliot snarled.

John Munch slowly shook his head. "Since the incident you've had next to nothing to do with your partner…hell, I don't think you visited her more than a handful of times during her months in the hospital…"

"I did!" Elliot retorted.

"Well, Olivia doesn't seem to remember," Munch said tersely.

"Yeah well I was there..."he began but his voice trailed as Munch continued.

"Don's almost lived there after the explosion, Fin and I spent hours there, hell, even Lake was a frequent visitor, none of us seem to remember you there, so it's not just Olivia…" he said, matter-of-factly.

"She wasn't awake," Elliot admitted quietly.

"What?" Munch said loudly.

"John, I spent hours in the hospital with her, at night. The nights I was still in there I'd go sit with her, then when I was discharged I did the same…only at night, only when she was asleep," he sadly admitted.

"Why?" Munch asked.

"Because," Elliot began, locking eyes with him, "guilt's a bitch…it's one thing to blow up your partner, it's another to blow up the person you love."

"Love? You love Olivia? Or you're in love with her?" Munch asked.

"I am in love with her and I damn near got her killed, but was that enough? No, not for me. I paralysed her…and she says we're good and she says she doesn't blame me but I blame me and I can't get past it." He looked up from the table top and Munch could see his tear filled eyes. "You tell me how the hell I'm supposed to go back to everything being 'normal'? And you know what's worse about all this? Every time I look at her I love her more and more and it just makes me hate myself all over again.

Munch put down his glass and sighed deeply. "Then you have to get off your ass and do something about it."

-----------------------Songbird------------------------

The song is If I didn't Love You by Tina Arena – an Australian performer who now lives in France.