?!?: No more interruptions!
President: Fur-get that! HOUSE PARTY!!! *bunch of people run in*
?!?: NOOO! Hey!
Obama: What! I'm dancin' *does an old people dance*
?!?: Can I have an autograph?
Obama: Jive little turkeys like you, wanna interuppt a man! *continues dance*
?!?: What's a jive turkey? And I LIVE here! You don't!
Obama: Don't like it get over it!
?!?: Wahhhh, Otay!
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+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Night 1-Part 2: Night Night
"Now what part was I on again?"
"I think you were on the part about calling you Merchant, and to survive, we have to take the ultimate test."
"Very good Luis, did you eat your Wheaties this morning?"
"Hell naw! Those things taste like sh^t!"
"Okay," the man name Merchant started. "Right now I'm sleepy as hell, damn Leon, you need to get some sleep! How do you operate!" At the moment Leon didn't responde because he was sleeping on his feet, uh, literally. "Huh! Hmm, oh Guile, get your own pair of damn smiley," he started to doze off again "Underwear...ZZZzzz," Sleep.
How rude. "Anyways, Luis. You and Leon must past the test. 85% or higher, and everyone gets pizza tomorrow at lunch!" Ohhhh! The crowd went wild!
"So tell me!"
"Alright," the Merchant leaned in closer. "You must defeat the one named Hunter," Luis almost laughed. "DUH! We know that it's Salazar, we were planning to get at him anyway!" But this time it was the Merchant's turn to laugh.
"I think we're at a misunderstanding. The Hunter is someone totally different. He is the monster on this island, the true terror!" Everyone' ahhed' for dramatic effect. Luis had to admit, things were getting creepy. "Okay so you're telling this Hunter guy is the real deal?"
"Yep! Pretty much. He damn sure is real scary. So good luck with defeating them," They all turned to leave. "Yo! Can we stay with you guys? After all we are your heroes!"
The Merchant sighed. "Hell no! He can sense if we're hiding so that would be of no help! But I can progress and give you guys' items before danger. It's like I'll be ahead of every step, but of no alliance in battles. "Deal?" What a buck! "Why not, they did that in Resident Evil 4. We have a deal Mr. Merchant."
The crowd went in the opposite direction of where they were heading. "Oh and btw(by the way,) you two are going in the right direction. Just go towards that big mountain in the distance. Tellatubby BYE BYE!" The Merchant ran off like the baser he was. Just as Luis was about to say "there ain't no mountain you drunkard!" there appeared a mountain ahead of him.
Great...
"Well, come along Leon," who was miraculously still standing. Luis just hoisted him in his arms. "Time for bed." Leon gave the cutest stir and snuggled in Luis' shoulder. Then he started to purr. "Weird...But cute!" Back to business, Luis searched around until...Bingo! A tree with a big hole in it!
Wanting to protect Leon, Luis just 'stuffed' him inside. But damn, it was only room for one. "Looks like I'll have to get on one of the branches." But he hesitated. What about Leo! "Ahh, Dante stole your taco Vergil...Got some cream sauce for you..." What if that retart (yes, retart!) came and Leon was still sleep talking?
Just as Luis made his way on the second lowest branch, his keen sense of smell alerted him. Ah! It was Black and Mild cigars?! Luis stiffened. What the hell was he to do? Was Salazar going to catch them? The sound of footsteps neared their position. /Leon, please stay alive.../
"I got stole Hunters cigars, I stole Hunters stash," Salazar sung. "You realize he's gonna smack yo ass when he finds out right?" The partner Mr. Cheese asked. Although he didn't look it, he was the one with the brains, not Salazar.
"Oh well, he's just a dumb $$ forest-" They heard movement ahead of them and some mumbling. "Salazar, that's probably them! Let's go, they can't outrun us!" Mr. Cheese started to go, but was stopped short. "Nu-uh! I want some candy," he took a long drag from his stolen cigar. "Oh yeah! My show Shin Chan's coming on let's leave," he said turning around.
"They're probably getting busy anyhow..." Mr. Cheese said under his breath. Oh well...
Luis heard them the entire time they were there. Thankfully, Salazar was an idiot. Soon as they left, he carried out the urge to check on Leon. He was still dead asleep. Aww, he's so cute!
"Well, good night my lion," he leaned in; he just had to sneak a kiss. Leon got up fast! "GET AWAY FROM ME ASHELY!"
"Leon, it's me. You've been asleep forever. We have a ways ahead of us tomorrow," he straightened himself up. "Who's Ashley, sounds familiar," " No-no one Luis! A ha aha!" and Luis really thought Leon was hysterical. Especially when he was kissed softly. "Good night Lu," and just like that, Leon fell asleep (wtf?).
/Good night Leon.../ Luis covered the troubled man, and kissed him as well. /Good night.../
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?!?: Hot damn!!! This is getting long!
Luis: What did you expect anyways. Maybe its long 'cuz you talk too much... Don't worry, I love ya!
?!?: You know, I think Leon might kill me if you-
Leon: What's going on guys?
?!?: We were just talking about the story. You kinda fell asleep.
Leon: Really? I don't remember.
?!?: Oh, well. You see Luis 'took' you while you were asleep. If you know what I mean...
Luis: Now hold on, I didn't do anything, okay? This time I wasn't being that perverted...
?!?: The devil is a liar!
Luis: But not me!
Leon: Okay I believe you.
Luis: What! I mean, yeah! Thank you!
?!?: Amazing...
