Its been two weeks into the investigation and the trip had been quite a frustrating one for Nick. He missed his wife and called her every night whenever Zak was in the shower in their shared hotel room or eating out with Aaron. He exchanged many "I miss you"'s and "I love you"'s over the phone with her, but it wasn't like having her in his arms. He even missed arguing with her and taking up the harder chores so she didn't have to work as hard.
But during the day he could admit to being a bit distracted. With so much time spent away from home and every day spent either playing around or watching over Zak, Nick found his thoughts straying to the stronger man. He never realized how reckless the other man was, though the locations were not too big. Zak liked to put himself into dangerous situations and Nick found himself following along so he could grab Zak and run if need be. It happened a few times already, yet the other man would not quit.
Nick was also getting frustrated with how Zak started to act the moment the cameras turn on. It's like he's trying to be someone else. Zak liked to ask before doing things, Nick blamed his childhood, or maybe his high school years. Zak didn't talk about it and Nick simply assumed the guy had a hard time when he went to school. But when the cameras were focused on him, Zak started telling Nick and Aaron what to do to the point where he commanded where they stood and when they could speak. He also retold information and Nick was irked by that – he didn't like that it seemed Zak felt the need to watch over them.
But that was start of it. A few days into it, Zak started to take the front as they taped their adventure. Now Aaron could care less, he'd rather be behind the scenes. At least in the back, he was the first to run out the door. And Nick would gladly give the main host position to Zak if he wanted it, but the danger that came along with that position bothered Nick. With Zak in front, Nick had his back, but he could not see anything in front of the other man and block him from whatever danger came their way. Nick knew Zak would complain and say he didn't need it, but Nick felt the need to protect Zak and he couldn't do that from where he stood.
They've traveled to popular haunted towns around Nevada and still they haven't found anything big enough worth documenting. They've caught odd lights here or there in theaters, weird knocking sounds in old hotels, and a moan or two at very small abandoned hospitals. Zak's been grabbed, Aaron's been called out, and Nick taped an apparition and though Nick and Aaron were quite satisfied with that, Zak was not.
So when the final week came around for their scheduled appearance at Goldfield, Zak bolted to the front of the white van, took the wheel, which surprised both Aaron and Nick, and growled at them to get in before he catches them and belts them in instead.
The drive should have been an hour long, but with Zak driving they made it in twenty minutes. Nick held onto the seat for dear life as he sat in the front and had a show of what Zak could do behind the wheel of the car. And Aaron, well, he refused to open his eyes and refused to view the world zooming pass.
"Oh my god, bro. Park, so I could get out of the car!" Aaron cried out as he rattled the door handle with the lock on.
"Dude, I'll park as close to the building as possible," Zak grinned maniacally as he took a hard right into the shade created by the giant Goldfield Hotel.
"Zak, dude! Really, here is fine."
The driver sighed and stepped on the break. He chuckled when he felt Aaron catch himself on the back of his seat with a, "Dammit, Zak!" and shifted into park right in the center of the wide alleyway.
"Never letting you drive again, dude." Nick's voice trembled as he unbuckled his seat belt. He looked out the window before opening his door to see Aaron already out and sitting on the stable floor.
"No. No, no, no. Zak, from now on, I'm either driving, or Nick." Aaron got back up on wobbly legs before getting to his open door and grabbing his camera.
"I got us here, didn't I?" Zak crossed his arms and frowned. He thought he did pretty good getting them in at a timely manner, "And we're safe, aren't we?"
Nick laughed tiredly and rubbed his face as he got out and shut the door, "Com'on, let's look for the owner."
The owner was pretty sweet, although a tad bit too serious. He got the crew shaking with excitement and fear when he pulled out the insurance papers as he was pretty certain someone was going to get hurt. Well, fine then, that's even better evidence, Zak thought as he signed his name.
Aaron decided that this building was just too much for him. He knew it would be the moment he calmed down after Zak's driving. The building was just too big, too dark... it reeked of pain somehow and he didn't think that he could handle it. Zak tried to convince him to come along, said that it was just like the other places they've visited, but Aaron would not budge.
Nick was next and though he'd rather not die in an old building, he wasn't going to leave Zak to go in there alone. He grabbed the pen and signed it quickly and he saw Aaron raise an eyebrow at the corner of his eye. Nick ignored him and was caught in Zak's smile – they were going in.
"You sure it was a good idea to send Aaron home?" Zak asked as they heard the door lock behind them. He was kneeling with his flashlight on as he organized the different cameras on the floor. He picked up the digital still camera as he stood and switched it on without taking his eyes off Nick.
"Well, he'd probably not be able to sleep in a town like this, Zak." Nick said with a crooked grin, "Let's go."
The place felt eerie as they made their way towards room 119. Eerie, but empty, so they continued silently throughout the building. Zak kept turning around to face Nick even though he kept his flashlight on and Nick couldn't stop a small grin from appearing. It was times like these where Nick wondered what the hell Zak was feeling to make him want to make sure he was near.
"Here it is..." Zak said as he walked into the room.
"Should I turn off the light?" Nick asked quietly as Zak stood at the center. Nick stopped at the doorway in order to have a wider shot.
Zak shook his head, a negative, while he took pictures, "Elizabeth? Are you in here?"
Nick's eyes scanned the room as short flashes from Zak's camera appeared at the corner of his eye. The room was creepy, but so was the rest of the building and he didn't feel much of anything in the room.
Another flash, "I know what happened to you in here and I'm sorry that it happened to you and your baby."
Nick turned his attention back to the camera, watching Zak through the tiny screen. Zak took a picture of the radiator before turning around.
"I don't feel anything." Zak said, clearly disappointed. He rubbed his face before informing to the camera about how some things could not be experienced without being there in person, that you needed to be here in order to understand what they were feeling, or would've felt if a ghost was in their presence. Nick nodded, a signal to tell him that's enough and Zak walked out of the room.
They walked around slowly for a bit, the night finally falling completely when suddenly they heard loud shuffling further down the hallway.
"Sh! Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh." Zak's arm went out behind him to stop Nick in his tracks and the other went up to press a finger against his own lips. Nick backed up and took a good shot of the hallway and Zak and his eyes went up to look at the back of Zak's head.
"Did you hear that?" Zak whispered quickly.
"Yeah... what –"
"Sh!"
Nick pursed his lips, slightly annoyed. These last three weeks Nick had fallen into that same trap and he started to wonder if Zak was doing that on purpose now.
The night seemed to drag on the more annoyed Nick got. Zak wouldn't stop pulling at him, telling him where to go, quieting him when he spoke. Nick knew things Zak kept reminding him about and Nick knew if he did not straighten this out soon, he was going to blow up on Zak.
He could see that the other man was noticing the change in him and still Zak wasn't careful of what he said or how he said it. Nick's jaw tightened when Zak nagged him for the fifth time tonight and he couldn't help the aggravation from making it into his tone as he ground out an, "I know,Zak."
It only seemed to get worse as time moved forward and Nick couldn't wait until their break at one. He didn't know if he was going to give Zak a piece of his mind, or just ignore him and calm down for when the time comes, but he knew if Zak did not stop, Zak was going to know one way or another than he's been bothering Nick for quite some time.
"Nick, what's your problem!" Zak practically screamed at him as they made it back into their safe room. Zak fiddled with the small digital camera in his hands before giving up and throwing it to the side. The camera was probably still recording, but he knew how to delete footage.
Nick growled as he shut his camera off easily and set it on the table. Zak's getting demanding and it was fucking with his psyche. He was so very close to...to... to what?
"My problem?" Nick shook his head to clear his mind before getting in Zak's face. Standing at his full height, Nick had the pleasure of watching Zak lean back to glare into his eyes, "You! I don't need anyone telling me what to do, or how to do it! I don't need to be reminded of things I already know!"
Zak shoved him, "So that's it? You don't like it when people have authority over you?"
"I don't like it when youthink you have that over me!" Nick shoved back and before they knew it, punches were flying.
Nick didn't know how it got this far, how everything escalated into this. He was yelling something, but he didn't know what it was, and Zak was doing the same but he couldn't hear him over the roar in his ears. Just, why, Nick's mind screamed at him as he felt his knee meet with Zak's stomach. Who does Zak think he is, telling me what to do, and Nick felt he had the upper hand as he watched the larger body double over. As he got closer, Zak rushed forward, knocking the both of them onto the floor, why does my attention stray to you all the time? Why can't you get out of my head, it's always you. Nick felt the heavy body straddle him and hands grabbing him around his wrists, locking them above his head, why do I look at you the way I do?
Zak was breathing hard above him, in pain, Nick could tell, and he felt some satisfaction from it. The other man was staring at him with confusion and a bit of suspicion, and Nick tried to relax from under him. Zak slowly let go, but refused to budge from on top of Nick's stomach and Nick's hands went down, his fingers brushing Zak's knees.
"What was that, Nick?"
Nick's mind was racing. He still felt his adrenaline rush. He didn't know. It was the way Zak looked, but it didn't make him mad. It made him want to stare at the other man, seeing dark hair and large blue eyes, and so much skin. It was the way Zak acted, the way he'd rush to his side when something scared him, but denied ever feeling fear. It was from remembering how everything was before he ever met Zak. From ever feeling needed the way Zak needed him. But Zak hasn't done anything to warrant this. Yes he has.
"I want to take care of you."
"Excuse me? Attacking me is not a good way of doing that, dude."
"No... I mean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of done that." Nick brought his hands up to rub his face before dropping them again, this time resting on Zak's thighs, "You're telling me what to do. I get that, you're the leader. But fuck, Zak."
"Do you want to tell mewhat to do?"
"It's not that."
Nick motioned that he wanted to get up, but still a bit cautious, Zak only moved until he was straddling Nick's legs. Nick sat up.
"I don't know what's going on," Nick whispered as he brought his hands up. He felt horrible when Zak twitched away before allowing Nick to hold his face. Zak's breath hitched, confusion taking up most of his features before Nick leaned forward and pressed his lips against Zak's.
At first, Nick couldn't believe he was doing this; he was married to a beautiful woman waiting at home, and here he was kissing his best friend. Nick almost pulled away, but a shy tongue licking along his lips forced a groan out of him before deepening the kiss.
Nick allowed Zak to quickly take control; he's only ever kissed women before and Nick wanted to see the difference. It is different, Nick had to fight back another moan as the other man bit at his bottom lip before tangling his tongue with Nick's again. It was rougher, dirtier, Nick thought as he battled his way into Zak's mouth, trying to take control. He was used to being given the lead, but Zak made him fight for it and Nick would be lying if he didn't admit that he found that arousing.
Nick's hands moved down the sculpted body before finding the end of Zak's shirt and slipping his hands in. He started exploring skin and muscle he's been admiring from afar, enjoying the surprised twitches when he found sensitive areas around the other man's ribs and belly button . He rubbed a thumb over a hardened nipple, getting a gasped against hungry lips and felt large hands tangle in his shirt against his chest as he was pulled closer to the solid body on top of him. Forcing his tongue into the cavern of Zak's mouth, Nick finally got a good taste of mint, a hint of cigarettes, and something completely masculine.
Zak pulled away first and Nick latched onto his corded neck, wanting to taste skin and sweat from somebody he's been denying the pleasures of for years. Zak's pants and quiet whimpers were filling his head as he stretched the neckline of Zak's shirt to lick and bite along his sensitive collarbone. His hands ran down again to push the tight shirt further up the strong body so he could see the contrast of pale skin on Zak chest and the sun-kissed color on his arms. He felt the lines back down and rested his hands on strong hipbones, feeling slight curves, muscle and natural bone structure. Its different, different, different.
Nick moved his face away to rest his head on Zak's shoulder. He could see spots of red and spit on Zak's collarbone from where he couldn't get enough of his taste. The shirt was definitely ruined, Nick thought as he took in the ruined neckline and his eyes roamed down further, taking in smooth, pale, hairless skin and his own hands pressing indents into slender hips.
They're both panting and Nick couldn't believe what they've just done as he pulled his hands away from the stronger man's hips, seeing red finger marks from holding on too tightly. He laid a soft kiss on the side of Zak's neck as an apology while he smoothed his fingers over them.
"Fuck, Nick. What's going on?"
"I don't know."
Nick leaned back, his hands going behind himself to prop himself up and took in his work. He felt a little proud seeing the ruined shirt and the marks slowly appearing under Zak's neck. His eyes roamed over hard muscle, back to bruised hips, and then to the faint, large, circular bruise where his knee connected with flesh before moving his eyes back up to see Zak roll his eyes and push his shirt back down to cover his body.
Nick heard a beep come from his wrist, and he took a quick look at his watch to see that they had fifteen minutes before they had to head out to continue their investigation. They needed to eat and Nick was ready to completely forget that any of this happened, but Zak refused to move from on top of him, his stare practically burning holes into Nick's skull as he tried to figure out just what Nick was going on about.
"Look, we'll talk about this later." Nick said as he sat completely still. He didn't know what to do with his body; if he sat straight, he'd want to grab onto those hips again, and lord knows where thatwould lead, so he remained leaning back.
Zak crossed his arms and leaned back too. Nick felt Zak's bottom fit between his spread knees and Nick couldn't help a small amused grin from taking over his face at the childish display.
"Zak, I won't let us starve, now lets eat something."
"Was that it?"
"Excuse me?"
Zak huffed before leaning forward. He got on his knees again, bracketing Nick's legs between them and slipped his arms around Nick's torso to rest his hands behind Nick's. He got really close, as if it'd stop Nick from hiding anything from him.
"Was that it? Things like that – you said you wanted to take care of me, earlier."
Nick refused to lean further back as Zak got in a better position on top. He just sighed and pushed at Zak's shoulder until he moved away. Now was not a good time to talk about this and Nick would really rather forget this ever happened.
"Zak, just... please. I promise you, when we get back to our hotel room we can talk about it. We have to eat now, or we're going to be hungry for the rest of the investigation."
Zak's lips pursed and his eyes narrowed as he got off Nick's lap. He reached a hand out the moment he was steady on his feet to help Nick up. Grabbing his hand and getting up, Nick knew he shouldn't of been surprised when Zak held on tighter when he was about to let go.
"When we get back to the hotel room – We will talk."
Nick tried to ignore how that tone of voice irked him and nodded before making his way to one of the bags sitting in a dry corner and finding something for the both of them to eat. He grabbed the dark blue sweater resting on top and threw it at Zak for him to wear.
After leaving the safe room, the next few hours were nearly a blur for Nick. With their low-tech equipment, seeing in the dark was not as easy as it seemed and Nick constantly had to remind Zak to keep his eyes on the screen before he tripped and fell. They heard noises from every corner and Zak had a habit of going after it at full speed, loosing Nick twice in the last hour.
"Sweetie? Was that you? It's safe now..."
Nick heard faintly as he walked carefully down the hallway. It seemed Zak found his way back to the room where Elizabeth was chained. It was like he was drawn there, possibly truly was, but very little ever happened in that room. Sure, Nick caught a ghostly caress along Zak's arm, but as far as that went, the spirit did very little.
"You can come out here, it's just me. Can you talk to me? Can you do that? That man who kept you here is not here with us now." Nick made it to the room and stood to the corner of the doorway, seeing through the tiny screen the light of Zak's camera resting on the radiator and Zak's head snapping up at the noises he created.
"It's just me," Nick whispered.
Zak nodded before bringing the recorder he held out to his lips and saying, "Nick just entered the room."
Zak sat against the wall the woman was imprisoned against and put the recorder on the floor, "I came here earlier, if you don't remember. You touched me, I saw it. Can you do it again?"
Both Nick and Zak heard a whimper close to the stable object the lady was chained against. Zak backed away from it, before collecting himself and moving closer.
"We heard you, sweetie. That's good, that's good."
"Zak..." Nick warned. The whimper did sound helpless, but even Nick knew it was common sense to watch out for things that cannot be seen.
"What?"
"Don't get too close."
"It's okay, Nick." Zak moved forward on his knees and Nick held his breath when Zak held his hands out to touch along the radiator. Zak felt around it in the dark, hoping he wouldn't cut himself on anything or a rat wasn't behind it as he looked for something that could possibly bring a reaction from the lady spirit, or the spirit that kept her there. He hoped to find chains, or maybe broken ends of handcuffs, possibly a key. He wanted to feel or find if the lady hid anything there that nobody ever bothered to take, like a locket, a comb, a toy, even, for the child she knew that grew inside of her. But there was nothing and Zak leaned back on his heels and rested his hands on his knees with a sigh.
"Sweetie, we came here to help you." Zak said quietly and Nick could hear the slight tremble in the usually strong voice.
Nick bit his lip and resisted the desire to drag Zak out of the room. He truly felt bad for the spirit trapped here, but he didn't like how the room brought Zak sadness. He was still a tiny bit skeptical when it came to the spirit world, was even more so to people who were sensitive to it, but Zak was really showing the possibility that he was in-tuned with the otherworld in some way and Nick wanted to drag him away from all of it.
They waited a few more minutes, but nothing else happened. Zak was still sitting there, staring at the spot she would've sat at with the most heartbreaking face he's ever seen.
"Com'on, bro," Nick said as he focused his camera on the other man. Zak looked up at him with the same heartbreaking face and Nick resisted the urge to get down there with Zak to hold him.
"The room feels empty, Nick."
Nick put down his guard and automatically the weird sensations he's been having throughout the hunt was absent in this room. The room was still dark, old, and held a bit of sadness to it, but there was also something hallow about it now.
"Yeah. I noticed it too. There's nothing more we can do, Zak. Let's go."
Zak nodded and Nick came closer, reaching a hand out to smooth over defeated shoulders until a hand came up for Nick to grab. He helped the other man up and nodded to the doorway. Zak grabbed his camera from where it rested on the radiator and led the way.
"I wish we could do more."
"Hey, I feel this isn't the last we'll see of the place. Zak, we could always try again next time."
The men found themselves getting lost a few times before they made their way down the stairs. Everything was starting to look familiar, even though for the last few hallways things have always looked the same. It was like the place they were entering had it's own atmosphere that separated it from the rest of the building. They could feel it in the air.
Zak started asking questions into empty space – who's there? Who made that noise? But the only answers they received were more noises moving down the hallways and it seemed to be leading them somewhere. He could see the other man getting frustrated and he nearly put his hand over Zak's mouth when he started taunting the ghosts.
"Is... is this the room? Nick," Zak started as they went down the stairs. Nick cleared his throat and zoomed his camera around, yeah... yeah, there was something about this place.
"Yeah, this is it." Nick said and as they came around the corner.
Zak stopped before passing through the doorway and looked back at Nick, eyes opened wide in the dark. It was like he stopped breathing and Nick got a tiny bit worried as he stepped closer.
"Want to go first?" Zak asked and Nick looked at him curiously. Just a moment ago, Zak would not give up the lead, but something about the room must've been bothering him. Nick nodded and turned the corner into the room, and with both cameras focusing in on the room, a brick came flying out of no where and objects were lifting off the floor.
The surprise and fear they felt was unimaginable. How is that possible? The first reaction was to run, and they did, knowing the other man would do the same. In the dark, Nick couldn't find Zak, the man being too far away to grab the moment activity started happening, but Nick could hear him, somewhere behind him, or maybe in front of him, he wasn't too sure, screaming for them to run, run, get out, run, go!
But it was much too dark, and the building was beginning to feel suffocating. Nick didn't know if he screamed or made a noise at all, completely and utterly shocked by the darkness around him and the activity caught. No, no, no, no, no, none of that could of been real, Nick thought as he backed up into a corner. He shut his eyes, he knew he couldn't of run too far, although it felt like he did, because he could hear things breaking and being thrown across the room.
He couldn't hear Zak anymore, and he hoped the other man was safe. He'd better be safe, Nick thought as he leaned against the wall. He didn't know where he was, didn't know even where to start and the fear had nearly eaten up all his common sense to go look for his friend. Zak, where are you, Nick frantically thought as he walked along the side of the wall.
He heard loud, fast footsteps coming his way and the fear that still coursed through his veins told him to go back, so he did, his back hitting the wall and sliding until he was in a corner. He tried to focus his camera on what the hell was coming at him, but a hand around his wrist stopped him from focusing right away. He nearly screamed until he brought his camera up and saw the familiar broad back and spikey hair. It's Zak, he's found him, and they're going to get the fuck out.
The two men sat on the dusty road, back to back and stared at the old building that sat there ominously. They both panted as they tried to get their breath back after running nearly blind throughout the whole building, trying to find a safe way out before jumping out the window and onto a fire escape that secured a safe passage down. They got as far away from the place until it felt safe and it's been minutes, yet still they couldn't wrap their minds around what just happened in the old hotel.
"Bro... no one's going to believe us." Nick said as he brought a hand up to wipe the cold sweat off his brow. Hell, hecouldn't even believed it happened and he was there to experience it.
"No, they're going to have to, Nick. We got it taped." Zak said, then slowly, a smile appeared on his lips, "Dude. We got that taped!"
Zak started to laugh, fucking unbelievable, and Nick felt the bubble in his own chest before joining in. Jesus, that was the scare of his life, and yet he would not mind doing it again. Ghosts. Ghosts were real.
Their laughter died down and ended into a companionable silence as they two men continued on with their thoughts.
Suddenly, Zak perked up, "Dude, we left most of our equipment in there."
Nick shook his head, "Everything should be safe. We'll get them when the sun comes up. We should be alright taking a nap 'till then."
The made it back to their hotel room and it was well past sunrise. Nick was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling still in the clothes he wore from the investigation. Zak was sitting at the small table in the corner in one of the comfortable chairs looking at the footage he caught on his camera with his earphones on. He's been on the same tape for quite some time now, and Zak had been completely silent. Nick turned his head to look over at the other man, and the expression on Zak's face got him sitting up and calling his name.
"What?" Zak blinked a couple of times before looking up at Nick.
"I said, what are you looking at now? You've been too quite for the last twenty minutes."
"I..." Zak started then he went back to the footage, paused it and rewinded. Nick wondered what the deal was, the last few hours Zak had been either laughing at their obvious mistakes or letting out an exclamation of surprise when they taped something they hadn't caught with their eyes or ears before writing on a pad the tape number and time so they could go back and review it together.
Nick heard a click from the camera and Zak stood up and told Nick to make some room. Nick moved his body and put his feet on the floor, giving Zak space around the head of the bed and the other man took the spot, the camera held tightly in both hands.
"Here." Zak said as he thrust the camera into Nick's hands before leaning back and looking away.
Nick raised and eyebrow and looked at Zak's profile. The stronger man refused to make eye contact with him so he looked down at the camera in his hands and pressed play.
"Nick, what's your problem!"
Nick's heart sped up at the familiar words coming out of the camera. He thought Zak had shut the camera off like he had with his own, but by the sound of Zak's hands messing with the camera, Nick assumed Zak was too frustrated at the time to care. He next saw a swirl of colors as the camera was flung to the side and Nick winced at the sound that created and waited for the camera to refocus itself. He heard the beginning of the fight and Nick nearly said sorry again when he recognized the sound Zak made when he kneed him in the gut, but what came next had the words die in his throat.
He watched the tumble they had when Zak bowled them both over, their bodies captured at the corner of the camera. The camera had a clear shot of Zak as he pinned Nick to the floor. Nick couldn't take his eyes off the tiny screen and he continued to watch unresponsively until he reached the point where Zak had let him up and his own back was presented to him.
The sound of wet kisses and the way their bodies were moving together had Nick blushing furiously and he nearly shut the camera off right then. He forgot everything in the suspense of the investigation and he almost couldn't believe that he'd been doing all those things to Zak. He wasn't even gay, he was damn sure of it, but when he saw that body arch closer to him in the tiny screen, Nick couldn't ignore how the scene made him want to grab Zak and have the other man under him this time. Seeing that strong body respond to him, to see Zak enjoy being touched by him and passing over the control left a stirring in Nick starting from his quickly beating heart, to his stomach and down to his groin and, fuck. He closed the camera.
"We..." Nick cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the closed camera, "We have to erase this."
Zak finally turned to face Nick, his blue eyes fiery and persistent,"Nick, we can't just forget what happened in there."
Nick dropped his head and covered his eyes in his left hand; his mind was going haywire. He knew deep in his gut that he was attracted to Zak. He definitely couldn't ignore it now. He probably have been feeling it for years, but refused to acknowledge it. But now... after what just transpired, he could not label it as simple fascination. No, it was much more than that.
"Dammit, Zak," Nick directed his conflicted eyes at the other man, "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know, maybe something pertaining to this!" Zak waved his hand at the camera, "Nick, you're confusing me, dude. Don't lead me on like that. I've been getting it for years and it's driving me insane!"
"What?" Nick put the camera down.
"Jesus!" Zak brought a hand up to rub at his face before grabbing Nick around the shoulders, "Are you playing with me, Nick?"
The wavering voice really struck to Nick's heart and left him speechless. Zak continued to stare into Nick's eyes, his blue eyes searching Nick's face for an answer.
Zak continued, "You were getting married when we first met, Nick. At first I thought you were just curious, but fuck, I know interestwhen I see it!" He let go of Nick's shoulders and crossed his arms defensively, his body curling in on himself.
"But you were getting married and I can easily tell that you love her, ya know? So I just ignored it and I convinced myself that I was just reading too much into it. But then, you always wanted to hang out with me, dude! Sooner or later, I always wanted to be around you too."
"Zak..."
"No! Let me finish," Zak got up and started pacing while Nick watched him, careful not to make a noise. Zak turned around and continued, "Then you started doing little things... things that continued even after your marriage. You think I didn't notice? Nick, as time passed, you wouldn't stop looking after me in some way, always making sure I was fed, or that I slept at night... fuck, Nick, you think I didn't notice how long you held onto me the nights I went home with somebody else? You'd of done anything for me if I asked you to, and I won't lie, I did take advantage of that on multiple occasions 'cause I knew...
"But there's something about you, Nick, and I've been so confused! Why am I attracted to you? You're a man. Why do I feel safe around you, let my guard down around you. I'm stronger than you, yet why do you have power over me? What is it about you that just throws me off balance and-"
Nick couldn't take it anymore, the pain radiating off of Zak. He quickly made his way to the other man and brought him close, locking lips with him and staying that way. He felt the muscled chest heave against him as Zak tried to call down.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Nick whispered as he rested his forehead against Zak's. He kept his hands around Zak's face and smoothed his thumbs over high cheekbones. Zak refused to meet his eyes and a weak flush appeared across his cheeks, embarrassed at his own outburst.
"I don't know what's going on either, Nick." Zak said quietly, "I'm sorry about the tirade... I just... I want answers."
"Whatever it is... Zak, we can't..." Nick said just as quietly.
Zak's eyes came up to lock with Nick's, and Nick had never been caught in Zak's eyes like this until this moment. Intense, alwaysintense, passionate, aggressive, warm, farthest from the iciest blue.
"Yes, we can."
"I can't love you."
"Then don't."
Nick chuckled humorlessly and stepped away from Zak only for the other man to follow, trying to get even closer, "What do you mean? You're not making sense anymore, I said: I can't love you."
"I'm not asking you to," Zak grabbed Nick around the face and pressed his lips against the other man's. Nick's eyes widened as Zak's eyes closed tightly, afraid of rejection, Nick supposed, and Nick's hands felt up Zak's chest to push him away as he remembered Roni, but it was the safe room all over again. There was that hesitant tonguing at his lips, shy, begging, and Nick honestly couldn't help but to open his lips and let Zak's tongue slide pass as he shut his eyes.
As Zak dominated the kiss, Nick wrapped his arms around Zak's torso, feeling up and down the strong back. He couldn't help but to groan as he felt the prominent S-curve moving further down Zak's back, the curve the man tried to hide with baggy pants and shirts that refused to cling the further down it went, a curve that was nearly feminine, but completely masculine, hard with muscle and Nick pressed his fingers into them, locking his hands again around Zak's hips.
Nick felt himself being pushed back and he felt the bed hit the back of his knees. Zak was overpowering him and one more shove had Nick sitting at the edge of the bed. Breaking the kiss, Zak followed, one hand on Nick's shoulder, the other going to the buttons on Nick's shirt as he straddled his legs.
Nick put an arm behind himself and leaned back, giving Zak more room to get the buttons and Nick rested his hand on Zak's ass, pulling the heavy body closer to himself. The buttons now undone, Nick ground up between Zak's legs and moaned as Zak did the same against his exposed stomach.
We shouldn't be doing this, Nick's mind raced as he sat up straight so he could use both his hands to feel the other man's skin under his shirt. But, fuck, if this wasn't tempting as he felt tense muscle give way to his wandering fingers. The further his hands moved up, the more skin was exposed and Nick really wanted a taste of that.
Zak made a noise from the back of his throat as Nick rubbed his fingertips across pebbled nipples. The younger man watched as muscles moved when Zak hastily removed his shirt and he latched onto Zak's neck again, tracing the marks he left the night before with his tongue. Nick found one he particularly liked; a nice dark, purpling one he didn't know he left on his right collarbone, and licked the skin roughly pulling out a strangled whimper from the man on top.
Nick felt hands at his belt and for a moment, Nick wondered how far this was going to go before he was distracted by a palm rubbing against his covered cock, bucking his hips and moaning against bitten skin. He's been in this position before, but the weight was different, heavier. The voice ringing in his ears, richer. The hands moving across his body, rougher and no matter where this went, Nick knew he had to have this man under him.
"Get on the bed," Nick ground out against Zak's jaw and he felt the other man shiver against the sensation.
Nick left a small kiss on Zak's left peck as he crawled off Nick's lap and laid down on the center of the bed. This was the first time Nick's ever really seen the guy nervous since the first time they've met, blue eyes looking up questioningly at him, and his red kiss-swollen bottom lip held between his teeth. Nick slipped out of his unbuckled pants before getting on top.
"Second thoughts?" Nick asked as he pushed a knee between slightly spread legs. Zak groaned as that knee pressed tightly against his groin.
"Shouldn't... shouldn't I be asking you that?" Zak asked as his hand went down his own body. Nick watched those sun-kissed hands move down the pale skin of Zak's stomach before reaching his pants and Nick batted those hands away playfully.
"Undressing you is my job."
Nick teased his way down Zak's chest, pressing his fingers into pliant muscles. The man under him gasp when Nick felt over fading fingerprints and Nick eyes darted from Zak's chest to his face.
"They don't hurt," Zak quickly said with a small smile and he reached for Nick's hands to press them tighter against his skin.
Nick said a quiet sorry anyways and Zak let go of Nick's hands to let the other man explore. Nick reached the button laying low on Zak's hips and quickly unsnapped it before removing his leg from between Zak's thighs and pulling the loose denim and his underwear off.
Nick took in all that skin, every curve on that strong body before reaching confidently for Zak's cock. He knew this movement well as he wrapped his fingers around stiff flesh – he knew what felt good, certain of the spots where he'd have Zak bucking under him. Giving pleasure was simpler because he was a man himself, he knew what made his own body tense and coming. There was no hidden buttons or uncertainty.
Zak was writhing under him, he always moved a bit too much, and Nick couldn't take his eyes off of him as he stroked the hardened flesh in his hand. Again, Nick couldn't help but to think this was different – definitely not like pleasuring a woman – but the reaction was the same.
Nick leaned forward and started nipping his way down Zak's chest, feeling the muscles twitch against his lips when he found somewhere particularly sensitive. He licked his way down the developing six pack before nibbling at the edges of Zak's bellybutton, groaning as he felt the tip of Zak's cock slide wetly against his chest. Nick squeezed his fist and those hips bucked again.
"Nick," Zak whimpered and the younger man felt strong hands at his shoulders and the back of his neck. Nick let go of the flesh in his hand and crawled back up to capture the quiet noises spilling from Zak's lips only to groan loudly as their lips met when the other man wrapped his legs around his hips and ground desperately. Nick's hands slid over tense thighs as their cocks slid against each other. He put a hand under one of Zak's knees, folded it closer to Zak's chest and got up on his own to push Zak deeper into the bed. He felt the other man moaning against his neck and that body under him trembling, so close to coming, and fuck it was better than he ever dared himself to imagine.
"A-ah! Nick..." Zak gasped and Nick felt his seed shoot between their stomachs. Zak was making soft grunts from under Nick as the man on top sought his own release and a smooth roll of defined hips against his hard cock got him cumming and whimpering his release into Zak's neck.
They were both panting and Nick fell forward, feeling the slick slide of cum and sweat as he got comfortable in Zak's arms. He let go of the leg he trapped under his hand and felt is slide down his side before rubbing his fingers over the side of it to loosen up the muscles from getting sore later. They didn't speak; Nick didn't know how to process what just occurred and Zak wasn't going to say anything if Nick didn't say anything first. They just held onto each other and basked in what comfort they could give to each other and Nick tried to ignore the guilt eating at his gut as sleepy hands rubbed up and down his back.
Sure that Zak was fast asleep, Nick slowly pulled himself out of Zak's arms and watched the man sleepily raised one above his head. He looked over the evidence of their encounter – his cum drying on Zak's stomach, bruises where his fingers dug into strong flesh, and love bites scattered down the other man's torso. Every one of them possessive and screamed mine.
But Zak wasn't. He could hold no claim to anybody else but his wife back home and how the hell could he have gotten carried away like that? The guilt continued to nibble at the forefront of his mind as he got out of the bed smoothly and grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe the semen staining both of their stomachs.
As Nick cleaned off the spunk from Zak's chest, the other man's eyes blinked open sleepily, questioningly. He scooted over for Nick to join him, but Nick shook his head and gave him a small smile, "Go back to sleep."
Zak nodded and when Nick pulled the blanket over the tired body, Zak turned his back on Nick. Nick tried to convince himself that Zak was just getting comfortable, but as he wiped the remaining semen off his own chest and got into his own bed, he knew deep down that he hurt Zak by refusing him.
But he couldn't worry about that now. Nick's mind was unstable as he pulled the blanket over himself and turned off the table light. The curtains hid away most of the day's sun, but he could still see Zak's silhouette. The man was so still, he couldn't of been sleeping yet and Nick couldn't form any words to say to ease the tension in the room.
Nick wanted the other man to know he cared for him. He did, he truly did. He didn't want Zak to think he used him and was now throwing him away. Nick didn't know much about Zak's past, but with the way Zak picked up a new someone, Nick was pretty convinced Zak knew what it felt like to not be wanted. He couldn't do that to Zak. He refused to hurt him in such away. No, Nick couldn't because he...
Nick shook his head. He couldn't love Zak. That's impossible when he knew he had Roni. And he loved Roni, no question about it. But he can care for Zak, right?
But it's different now, Nick thought as he pulled the blanket closer around his naked body. It's different now because he's finally had a taste of what Zak could offer him and he didn't know if he could stop himself from taking more. He wanted to have more, possess more. He wanted Zak to be his.
And then there's the fact that he's married and that Zak could never belong to him because of that. It was because he happily gave his heart away to Roni and still wanted her to keep it and he knew he couldn't take that away from her even though...
I don't love Zak, Nick shook his head frantically before hiding under his blanket. He loved Roni. He loved how she was so independent. He loved her strong personality and soft smile. He loved her feminine body, the way she moved, laughed, loved. He loved her self-sacrificing personality, how she trusted him with her whole heart, gave him her whole heart and fuck, what has he done?
He started getting dizzy with the limited air under the blanket and pushed it down his torso, automatically feeling the cool air of the hotel room. But with Zak... he didn't know. Fuck it, He was attracted to the man. He's always been fascinated with Zak's body and later on wondered how it would feel under his hands. He liked how Zak came to him when he was confused or lost. He felt tingles when he got Zak laughing or smiling or when he got the other man in his arms. Zak was strong, yes, and Nick adored seeing that side of Zak, but he loved the way Zak didn't refuse him when Nick offered help. Lovedthe way Zak needed him around, the way he looked under him, the way his voice changes when it's just the two of them.
Nick was fucked. He couldn't have them both, could he?
