Get the Message

Author Note: For those who are wonder where Lennox's room is located, it is right between Luna and Luan's room and Lynn and Lucy's room.


(It just another day in the Loud House as it shows Lennox just finish playing a dancing video game in the living room with his oldest best friend, 10 year old Alan Chambers, while watching them from the chair is Lennox's second best friend, Elizabeta Rivera or "Liz" for short, who's also the same age as them.)

Lennox: (exhausted) Whoo! Looks like I win this time, but you were close to beating me.

Alan: (Panting) Maybe, but it would've been closer if I didn't miss the last four steps. Ah well, there's always next time, dude.

Liz: If you guys are done, I like to play the winner, which means you Lennox.

Lennox: Sure thing Liz. But first, let me take a five minute break, then we'll start the game.

(Just then, Lennox, Alan and Liz has heard some video game sound effects as Lincoln comes in the living room while wearing some VR goggles, playing some video game while jumping on the table and dancing.)

Lincoln: Take that zombie [twerks] Feel my twerk, you evil jerk! [killing zombies; doing pelvic thrust] HOO!

(While Lincoln continues breakdancing, the other three looks at him with confused looks.)

Lennox: [taps Lincoln's shoulder] Hey Lincoln, what are you doing?

Lincoln: Oh. I'm just playing Zombie Killers 4.

Alan: What's the main objective of that game?

Lincoln: You gotta defeat the zombies by breakdancing. I think it's a cool objective.

Lennox: That's sounds cool bro, but the way you're breakdancing kinda makes you look ridiculous.

Lincoln: [scoffs] That's only your opinion, little bro. My dancing is just as good as yours.

Lennox: Yeah, I get it. Anyway, you don't if I try that game out when your done?

Lincoln: Why not. I figured you be interested in this game. Now if you excuse me, I got some zombies to kill. [Lincoln heads upstairs]

Liz: [snickering] You know, he may be your big brother, but I think you can outdance him.

Lennox: Perhaps, but he and I do the same high scores in Dance Battle. I mean he has played this more than I have.

(Meanwhile, Lincoln does more moves in the hallway, until he enters one particular room in the house.)

Lori: Lincoln!

Lincoln: [takes off goggles and sees Lori making an angry face at him] AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lori: There's only one rule in this house: Stay out of my room! If I ever catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel! [on the phone] No, not you Bobby [giggles] One sec, okay? [kick Lincoln out of her room]

(Lincoln then puts his goggles back and continues to dance the zombies away, as he heads to the bathroom.)

Lincoln: OH YEAH! [closes the bathroom door]

(Before he used the bathroom, he realizes that he still has his goggles on.)

Lincoln: Zombie don't need to see this. [takes the goggles off and sets them on the sink]

(Lincoln starts to do his business, until he was interrupted, as a knock was heard from the door.)

Lincoln: Occupied!

(Then the knocking turns into pounding.)

Lincoln: [mutters] I can't believe some... [answers the door to see Lori is there]

Lori: [on the phone] Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today.

Lincoln: [rhetorically] That you don't respect a man's privacy?

Lori: [ignoring Lincoln and kicking him out] No, silly! Not even. She was all like...

(Lincoln goes to his room, that is until he realizes that he was missing something.)

Lincoln: Oh no! My gaming glasses!

(Lincoln then rushes to the bathroom to retrieve his VR goggles until he is stopped by Lola and Lana who are dressed in some kind authority attire.)

Lana: No running in the hallway!

Lincoln: [confused] Huh? What are you talking about?

Lola: Lana, is this maggot giving you lip? [writes up Lincoln]

Lana: We're the new hall monitors at school so we're practicing at home. [they give Lincoln a ticket]

Lola: If we catch you speeding here again, you're going downtown! We already locked Luan for telling bad jokes.

(The twins then showed that they have Luan, who was in a cardboard jail.)

Luan: Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months! [laughs to rimshot] Get it?

Lola: That's five more minutes for you dirtbag!

Lincoln: Okay, okay. I'll walk within the speed limit. I swear.

Lana: NO SWEARING!

(As the twin leave to their room/office, Lincoln continues rushing to the bathroom, only to find that his goggles are on the floor; now totaled.)

Lincoln: Someone stepped on my goggles. NOOOOOO!

(Lincoln, thinks back to when Lori kicked him out of the bathroom when he left the goggles in there, he automatically blames her as he see her leaving in the family van.)

Lincoln: LORI! YOU DIRT BAG!

(Lincoln slams the front door in anger. What spooks Lennox and Liz as they were play a round of Dance Battle console game as Alan watched this time, only to lose their focus and messed up their steps. Lennox, Alan, and Liz turns to look at him.)

Lennox: Geez, Linc. What's wrong you?

Liz: Yeah. You looked like someone spilled fruit punch all over your shirt.

Alan: Are you okay?

Lincoln: [angrily] No, I'm not!

Lennox: How about calming down and tell us what happened.

Lincoln: [sighs calmly] Fine. But, can we talk upstairs?

(Later up in Lincoln's room, he invited Clyde over and then tells the four about what happened.)

Lincoln: One minute, I'm electric siding with the undead and then the next... [groans] IT"S ALL LORI'S FAULT!

Lennox: That's harsh! I can see why Lori would crush them, but that doesn't mean she'd did it on purpose.

Alan: Yeah. Maybe she didn't know she didn't know that she slip the goggles off the sink and accidentally smash them by accident.

Lincoln: There's nothing accidental about it, you two! Lori doesn't care that she stepped on them, I just know it!

Clyde: [holding] I can't believe it!

Lincoln: I know! She didn't even say sorry!

Clyde: [lovestruck] No. I can't believe these were touched by Lori's beautiful tootsies... [cradles the glasses]

Liz: [sighs; rolls her eyes] To be in love and ignorant.

Lincoln: Snap out of it, Clyde! Lori's a monster! All she care about is talking on her stupid phone! Well I'm going to give her a call she'll never forget...

Lennox: What do you mean by that Lincoln?

Lincoln: You're about to find out.

Clyde: What are gonna say?

(Lincoln then looks and search in his drawer and pulls out piece off paper and shows it to Clyde, Lennox, Alan and Liz.

Clyde: [reads the paper] "Why 'blank' is the worst sibling ever?"

Lincoln: [evilly] I knew this will come in handy someday. I just don't know which sibling was would be getting it.

Lennox: [shocked] Whoa, hold on! I'm not one of the worst, am I?

Lincoln: [normally] Oh no, Len-len. You may be on that list, but you're far from being the worst. [writes Lori's name in the blank; evilly] But you, Lori Loud have made my decision very easy.

(Lincoln stars dialing Lori's number on his duck phone)

Lennox: Um, I'm not so sure you should do this, Linc.

Liz: Yeah. It may not end well for you.

Lincoln: Don't worry. I got it covered.

(Lennox and Liz both give worried looks as Lincoln waits. Lori ringtone was heard from the hallway as Luna jams and riff to the last note to Lori's ringtone.)

Lincoln: [impatient] Agh. Must be charging her phone. No worries. I'll just leave it on voicemail.

Voicemail: Hey, this is Lori. You know what to do. [Beep]

Lincoln: Hey, Lori. It's you dear brother, Lincoln. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You are...

(Lincoln then goes on a blindingly raging rant about Lori. Luna come into his and rocks out to censor the harsh and foul message for any profanity it may contain, all the while Clyde watches in despair as his dream girl was being roasted, and Lennox, Alan and Liz covered their ears with either their hands or fingers with shocked or surprised expressions.)

Lincoln: [finishing up] ...AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST SISTER EVER! [hangs up] What do think Clyde?

(Clyde faints while Lennox, Alan and Liz uncovered their ears, still with shocked and surprised expressions of what Lincoln said. Just then Lori enter his room.)

Lori: Hey bro. I just wanna say I'm so sorry I stepped on you stupid toy. So I went out and brought you stupid new one.

Lincoln: [shocked by her generosity] You did what now?

Lori: [hand his the new glasses] Also, I'm very impressed you didn't freak out over the. Very mature.

Lincoln: [nervously chuckles] Yep. That's me. Mr Mature.

(As Lori leaves, Lincoln now realizes that he made a terrible mistake, as Liz faceplams and sighs.)

Liz: Oh boy...

Alan: [scoffs] I've figured as much.

Lennox: Now, you're in big trouble.

Lincoln: [sarcastically] Yeah, no kidding! [normally] I called Lori a- [guitar riff] -when she's in fact a- [harp string]! What am I gonna do?! You're right! Lori clearly hasn't listened to her voicemail yet or I'd be a human pretzel. We gotta delete that message!

Clyde: [comes to] Huh? [falls over]

Lincoln: Good talk.

Lennox: Hold it, Lincoln. You're gonna need help to get that phone, and delete the message.

Lincoln: You're going to help me? But why? I messed up.

Lennox: I would say it serves you right for blaming one of our sisters for something that might've been an accident. But I'm afraid that Lori really can turn someone into a human pretzel. So I'm going to help you out as best as I can.

Lincoln: Thanks, Lennox.

(Lincoln, Lennox, Clyde, Alan, and Liz peak out of the door. Seeing Lola and Lana tracking a trail of poop that leads form Lynn and Lucy's room to Luan and Luna's room. Lori has locked up her room, enters the password and leaves.)

Liz: I wonder how can Lori afford her own security system, Lennox?

Lennox: I'm as confused as you are, Liz.

Lincoln: Focus, guys. Lori doesn't have her cell which means it's still there charging. Our mission is to infiltrate her room and delete the message before she gets back.

Alan: But how are were going to pull it off?

Clyde: Yeah, Lori's room is off limits

Lincoln: I know. That's why I need you to be a lookout for Lori.

Clyde: That's easy. I'm always on a lookout for Lori.

Lincoln: Then let's do this! [They fistbump for luck]

(Clyde hops over to his position and pulls out his walkie-talkie.)

Clyde: I'm in position

Lincoln: Roger that.

Lennox: Okay, we have Clyde on lookout duty. But there is one little problem.

Liz: Yeah. The two hall monitor twins.

(Lincoln, Lennox, Alan and Liz looks out at the hallway and sees Lola and Lana still on patrol.)

Lana: I know poop when I see it, and that's definitely some poop.

Lincoln: Drat! You're right! I can't move freely with the po-po out and about.

Alan: How about me and Liz help you out by distracting those two.

Liz: And meanwhile, you and Lennox team up to get to Lori's room.

Lincoln: Okay, sure. the more the merrier. You ready Lennox?

Lennox: Ready as I'll ever be. [switches his beanie cap for a black snow hat]

Lincoln: [put on a black snow hat] Then lets do this!

(Lincoln and Lennox sneaks by while the twins check the sound they had made, only to see that they're nowhere in sight, as Lincoln was hiding up on top of the doorway and Lennox hiding inside the room behind the door; Lincoln nods his head to Alan and Liz, signaling them to the twins.)

Alan: Showtime.

(Alan and Liz comes out of their hiding spots behind Lincoln's bedroom door and starts walking towards twins before they reach the doorway.)

Alan: [acting] Good afternoon, officers!

Liz: [acting] Just enjoying a nice stroll around the hall, protected by two tough cookies like yourselves.

Lola: Flattery will get nowhere, toots. Now, where's your hall passes?

Alan: Hey, look! I think you prisoner is trying to bust out!

(As the twins turned their backs at them, Lincoln from up at his hiding spot tosses a hamster pellet without the twins noticing, which made Geo, the house's hamster chase after it.)

Lana: Hey, fur ball! No speeding!

(The twins starts to give chase to Geo, giving Lincoln and Lennox the opportunity to come out of their spots and sneak past them.)

Lola & Lana: Hey! What did we just say? Get back here!

(The brothers then made their way into the vent as Lincoln pulls out his walkie-talkie.)

Lincoln: We're in.

Clyde: [with a schematic of the house] Great. Proceed two clicks north, hook a left, and you should be right over the target.

(Both brothers head down the pathway with Lincoln in front and Lennox covering the rear as they made it to their target location.)

Lincoln: We've got eyes on the package. [to Lennox] I'll rope down while you hold on to the rope.

Lennox: Roger that.

(Lincoln successfully breaks into Lori's while Lennox is holding on to the rope; he then finds that the phone is still charging.)

Clyde: Lincoln! Lennox! Lori's coming!

Lincoln: You're going to have to stall her!

Clyde: Roger that...

(Clyde then draws a mustache on his upper lip and tears his shirt off, revealing a white tux from underneath and acts so suave as Lori approaches.)

Clyde: Hey, beautiful, you take these stairs often?

Lori: [throws her arms around him and swoons] I will now... handsome~... [winks to him]

(While Clyde was distracting Lori, Lincoln grabs the phone and starts playing the message.)

Message: Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother Lincoln. [Lincoln deletes it]

Phone: Message deleted.

(Having successfully deleting the voicemail, Lincoln grab on to rope and Lennox pulls it up to sneaking out of room before Lori enters. Thus the plan going of without a hitch. Then, it all turns out that it was just a dramatization of what could've happen before the plan started.)

Lincoln: ...And that's how we're gonna do it!

Clyde: I love it! Especially the part where I get to talk to Lori. [start applying perfume onto him]

Lincoln: [coughs] Is that perfume?

Clyde: Yeah.

Lennox: [also coughing] But, why would you carry perfume on you?

Clyde: Oh, it's my Nana's

Lincoln: Here are the blueprints of the vents. [hand Clyde a drawing of them with some red stuff all over it]

Clyde: Are those food stains?

Lincoln: I eat ketchup-sandwiches while floor-plan.

Liz: [disgust; to Lennox] Ketchup-sandwiches? But why?

Lennox: It's best that you don't question it. Trust me, Liz.

(Just then, a door opening is heard.)

Lincoln: Ouiet! Lori's coming!

(Lori locks the door to her room and enters in the security password just like in the dramatization.)

Lincoln: Okay, let's do this.

(Clyde, Alan and Liz all took their positions just like in the dramatization. Clyde takes out his walkie-talkie.)

Clyde: [loudly] I'M IN POSITION!

(The loud feedback from the other end knocks Lincoln and Lennox back. And Alan and Liz from their hiding spots.)

Lincoln: Roger that.

(Both brothers then spots Lola writing Lily up for not wearing her diaper.)

Lola: No, I can't let you off with a warning!

Lily: [laughs]

(Lincoln puts on his black snow hat, while Lennox takes off his beanie hat and put on a black snow hat of his own and starts making theie way to Lori's room. All of a sudden, Cliff get on Lincoln's hat and starts padding it, he shoos Cliff off only for the cat's tail to hit his nose and stifles a sneeze into what he thought is a tissue.)

Lola: Next time, remember. This is a mandatory diaper zone!

Lennox: [grossed out; quietly] Ugh!

(Lincoln then realizes that the "tissue" was actually Lily's diaper and starts throwing up. But the sound gets the twin guards' attention. Lincoln quickly hides up the doorway as Lennox hides behind the door to the twins' room. But Lincoln's hand's were covered in ketchup from the sandwiches he had earlier, causing him to slip.)

Lincoln: Gah... ketchup fingers...

(Alan and Liz nodded to each other, knowing that they have to distract the twins.)

Alan: Ready, Liz?

Liz: [sighs] Here goes nothing.

(Alan and Liz then dash out of their hiding spots, causing the twin to jump and turn thier heads.)

Alan: Race you to this other side of the hallway!

Liz: You're on!

(As they ran, Liz then trips and fells on the floor while accidentally grabbing Alan's leg making him fall along with her. As they started to sit up, they notices that the twin were right in front of them.)

Liz: [nervously] Oh, hi officers.

Lola: [suspiciously] What to you two think you're doing, huh punks?

Liz: Um... well...

(While Liz was trying to make up an excuse, Alan sees Lily crawling by him, Liz and the twins. Which gives him an idea.)

Alan: Hey, officers. Before either us answer your question, I think you got another problem in your hands. [points to Lily]

(The twins turn to the direction where Alan was pointing at.)

Lana: SHE'S MAKING A CRAWL FOR IT!

(Lana starts chasing after Lily while Lola went up to both Alan and Liz's faces.)

Lola: Consider yourselves lucky that I'm letting you two off with a warning. [runs off with Lana]

Alan: [stands up; sighs] That was way too close.

Liz: Tell me about it.

(Meanwhile, Lincoln and Lennox manages to make it to the vents.)

Lincoln: Clyde, we're in.

(But unbeknownst to either of the brothers, Lucy was right next to them.)

Lucy: Hey, guys.

(Lincoln and Lennox screams as an organ was playing in the background.)

Lincoln: Lucy! What are you doing in here?

Lucy: I come here to think. I actually just wrote a new poem called "Ventilate".

Inside the wall

I choose to be alone

If I ever get stuck

Please listen for my moan.

Lennox: [nervously] That's an... interesting poem.

Lincoln: [also nervously] Yeeeah. [chuckles] Clyde, get us to Lori's room, now. [he and Lennox creep away from Lucy]

Clyde: Go three clicks, and a right. Or was it three rights and a click? Wait. What's a click?

Lennox: [crawling; quietly] Make up your mind man!

Lincoln: [crawling around] "Never mind. I think I'm there."

(Suddenly, Lincoln falls through the vent hatch and slips. Lennox manages to grab his legs.)

Lennox: Gotcha! [notices that his legs were starting to slip. But who's got me?

(Now, him and Lincoln were about fall. Just then, Lucy manages to catch Lennox's legs before either of them hit the floor.)

Lucy: Hey, guys.

Lincoln & Lennox: Phew. Thanks, Luce.

(Lincoln's walkie-talkie fell into the toilet while he was falling.)

Clyde: Lincoln! Everything okay?

Lincoln: [swing and plunges the radio out] Yeah, Clyde. [groans at the soggy texture his radio has been contaminanted with] Everything's perfect.

(Later on, Lincoln and Lennox continue excavating through the vents until they reached Lori's room.)

Lincoln: We've got eyes on the package.

Clyde: Package? What about Lori's phone?

Lennox: [pulls out his walkie-talkie; plainly] Clyde, Lori's phone is the package.

Clyde: Oh... Why didn't you say so.

(Lincoln faceplams and enters Lori's room via a red rope that Lennox was holding. But the rope seems to be coming undone.)

Lincoln: Clyde, what kind of rope is this?

Clyde: Cherry licorice rope.

Lennox: Why would you give us licorice?

Clyde: Sorry. It was the only rope I could find.

(The rope then brakes and Lennox manages to catch Lincoln before he falls, but his feet slips forcing him and Lincoln to fall, which attracts Lori's attention causing her to head up to check it out.)

Clyde: [frantic] Lincoln! Lennox! Lori's coming! [suave] Don't worry I'll stall her.

(Clyde then draws a mustaches on his upper lip with a yellow highliner pen, takes off his shirt and approches Lori, only to be stunned by her beauty.)

Lori: What?

(Suddenly, Clyde gets a nasty nosebleed, due to his shyness towards Lori.)

Lori: Ugh! Gross! [runs to her room]

(Lincoln was just about to delete the message when he hears Lori approching her room door.)

Lennox: [quietly] Hurry, Linc! We gotta hide!

(Lori enters and looks around with a displeased look on her face. Lincoln is seen hiding under her bed before it cuts to Lennox hiding under Leni's bed and Lori kicks off her shoes right under him as they Lincoln in his face.)

Lincoln: Ugh! [shuts his mouth]

Lori: [suspiciously checks under her bed] So that's where all my shoes are. [sees all her shoes under her bed]

(Lincoln had managed to escaped her line of sight as he was now hiding behind one of the curtains as he tries to reach for Lori's phone. But then Walt, the house canary, perches right onto it and bites Lincoln's fingers, making him hold in his yelp of pain. Lori then hears that her phone was fully charged.)

Lori: Finally. [take phone] Ooh! New messages! I'm so loved! [leaves]

(As Lori's left her room, things for Lincoln has take a turn for the worse as Him and Lennox come out from their hiding spots.)

Lennox: [frantic] Okay, I've just heard Lori's cellphone just finished recharging! That's not a good sign!

Lincoln: [panicking] Mission is compromised! The package is on the move! Clyde?

(Clyde has covered he nose with tissue to clear up the bleeding as Alan and Liz was there to help him recover and clean up the blood on the floor.)

Alan: [mutters] Geez, how can someone bleed so much?

Lincoln: [on the other end] Clyde! Do you read me?!

Liz: [grabs Clyde's walkie-talkie] Uh, Clyde is kinda unable answer at the moment.

Lincoln: Why?!

Liz: When me and Alan got here, Clyde seemingly gotten a nosebleed when he was trying to distract Lori.

Lennox: [on the other end] Ugh! We should've factor in the fact that Clyde gets a nosebleed every time he sees Lori!

Lincoln: Don't remind me!

(Meanwhile, Lori was listening to her messages.)

Message 1: Hey, babe. It's Bobby. Do you think we'll always be together?

Lori: Aww! Totes saving that one [saves it]

(Then Clyde, who was overhearing the message, faints again.)

Alan: Oh boy...

Message 2: Hey, babe. It's Bobby again. Should our couple name be Bori or Lobby?

Lori: Saved [saves it]

Lennox: [coming out from Lori's room] I'll catch up, while you hurry and stop Lori!

(Lincoln nods to Lennox and hurries to stop Lori from getting the message, but gets stopped by the twins.)

Lola: We warned you, dirt bag!

Lana: It's the clink for Linc!

Lincoln: Look! Luan's making a jailbreak!

(The twins turn around and Lincoln use this chance to make a brake for it downstairs.)

Lana: [notices] Hey!

Lola: Oh, forget that bum. He's out of our jurisdiction now.

Lana: Yeah. Let's go get doughnuts.

(The twin head out for a doughnut break. Lincoln get downstairs only to find that he is too late, as Lori was already listening to his hateful message. Lennox was watching from the stairs with a panicked look on his face.)

Message: Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Lori! [slow motion diving at her] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [thuds at normal speed] Ugh!

Message: There's something I've been meaning to tell you. [Lincoln look in horror before covering his eyes] You are...

(Then, as luck would have it, Lori deletes the message before the rant begin.)

Lori: Ugh! Delete! Lincoln, there are two rules in this house: stay out of my room, and never call my phone! My voicemail is full enough with out useless messages from you!

Lincoln: [sarcastically relieved] Gee, Lori, I'm sorry.

Lori: But, I'm gonna let it slide this time 'cause you were so mature when I broke your stupid toy.

Lincoln: [sheepishly chuckles] Yeah right. That's me. Mr. Mature.

(Just then, Lori gets a call and answers it, as she heads upstairs passing Lennox.)

Lori: Bobby. Only 12 messages today? I thought you cared about me.

(As soon as Lori was out of sight, Lennox comes downstairs as he and Lincoln sigh with relief.)

Lennox: Man, big bro. You literally escaped that ordeal scot-free, yo. I hope you don't do something like that ever again.

Lincoln: Trust me. I won't. [to the viewers] Next time I have a problem with one of my sibling, I'll just talk to them instead of just leaving them a message or write a nasty letter. [realizing] Speaking of which, where is that letter.

(He looks around for the letter but couldn't find it. Meanwhile, Lori was in the bathroom, plucking out nose hairs while talking to Bobby.)

Lori: If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little- [see something on the floor] What's this? "Why Lori is the worst sibling ever?" Bobby, I gotta go. [angrily] I'M ABOUT TO TURN LINCOLN INTO A HUMAN PRETZEL!

(Lincoln and Lennox sprints back upstairs looking for the nasty letter.)

Lennox: Okay, Lincoln, where did you last had that letter.

Lincoln: I don't know. I thought for sure that I had in my pocket. It probably fell off somewhere.)

(Unfortunately, Lori beats them to it as she come out of the bathroom, showing the letter to them with a livid look on her face.)

Lori: [enraged] LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!

Lennox: [leans to Lincoln; whispering] Looks like the cats out of the bag. You might wanna run for you life right now!

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man!

(Lincoln then puts on his new game goggles and starts dancing away from Lori's wrath.)

Lori: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-!

(Luna rocks out to censor Lori's rant of revenge, just like she did for Lincoln. The furious teen then sees Lennox and turn to him, who was nervously chuckling.)

Lennox: [nervously] Don't mind me, I was just heading back to my room... via moonwalking! [quickly moonwalks back to his room] Hoo-hoo!