A/N: Just a reminder chapters are standalone. Spoilers for 3x01.
This is me working out my speculation for the importance of the new Count, Vertigo in 3x01 and the catalyst I think he's going to be to keeping these two beautiful idiots apart the majority of the season.
Angst ahead. You've been warned.
Let me know what you think!
"This isn't going to work,"
The words tasted like dust in his mouth and the hurt gasp that escaped her lips cut him like a knife.
"Oliver-" she began, voice broken and tired and as much as he knew she needed to rest he had to do it then. It couldn't wait.
"This isn't going to work even though I wish it could,"
"Oh,"
"Last year I swore to do things different, for Tommy and because I wanted to be better,"
"And you did," she sounded confused, and wounded.
"Except for the Count," he raised his eyes then and held hers, watching with his heart breaking as she blinked rapidly and failed to keep her tears at bay,
"But...you said...you said there was no choice," the single step she took away from him made him freeze,
"There wasn't. That was the problem,"
The words float for a second between them before their weightiness defies gravity and they plummet heavy, and full. That time her eyes went wide, mouth falling open but nothing came out.
"I killed for you. Because I love you and there will never be a choice. I will always choose you." and he knew it, in his soul. No regrets.
The understanding that slowly began to fill her face was almost his undoing.
"You were targeted because you were with me. Someone tried to hurt you to get to me. And I can't ever allow that to happen again," he bit off, the rage he'd felt earlier threatening to consume him once again and that's how he knew he had to do this even if it would be the hardest thing he'd ever done. "I would have killed Vertigo tonight. I wanted to. I still do. And that scares me."
Her head was shaking though and he could already hear her arguments, already hear how she would try to convince him otherwise.
In a flash he'd moved, taking her by the arms and pulling her flush against him as he towered over her. "No! I would have torn him apart. I would have done things to him that would have made you sick. You think you know all of me but you don't and there is a reason for that!" the anger, and desperation, and dark, hollow, need he had for her to understand left him trembling, "Anyone who tries to kill you is dead. And if I go down that road again I may never come back,"
Both of them breathed in ragged gasps as he loosened his hold and let his forehead fall to meet hers, hot tears burning his eyes.
"There's always another way," she said weakly,
"Not with you, never with you,"
He held her as she cried and mourned what couldn't be. It was her cool hand against his cheek that made him pull back and look at her.
"I know you think this is the only option, but maybe one day we'll find another way," her ever present hopefulness filled his chest and not for the first time he wondered how he'd ever been so lucky to have her in his life.
But he couldn't agree with her.
