Severus felt the tension in the air long before he heard his mother scream. He'd had a hard time getting to sleep thinking over his conversations with Lily. It became a fitful night's rest as he tried to calm his anticipation of their plans the next day. In the rest of the house, the evening passed in an unusually quiet manner. His mother had done her best to smile as she served dinner, though she remained on edge as usual. His father...well, he had been the closest he could to polite to his wife and mostly ignored his son, neither a good or bad sign as far as Severus was concerned.
Something was wrong, though. The boy had sensed it not long after the sun began to fill the sky with light. He'd jolted out of his light sleep, his unfocused eyes shooting up to the ceiling as he tried to remember what had woken him. A nightmare? A noise? Nothing came to mind. Just as Severus began to tell himself to relax and catch a few more hours of sleep before he was forced to get up, he heard his mother scream and then the telltale thump that let him know last's night semblance of peace was indeed short-lived. He was out of bed and pulling on his trousers before his mind could fully process what was happening downstairs. It didn't matter if he knew what was going on, really. All he needed was the idea that his mother might be in danger—indeed, the certainty of that fact—and he would come to her rescue. He wasn't nearly strong enough to fight his father off completely, nor did his mother want him to come to her aid, but he wouldn't stand by and watch it happen. Not if he could stop the worst of it.
Hours had passed since he'd found his mother at the foot of the stairs, bleeding profusely from a cut on her face. Her bruises had begun to heal, but Severus was worried about the injury to one of her legs which she refused to go the hospital and get treated.
"I'll be fine," Eileen whispered as she stood over the stove cooking. Her hands were steady as she stirred the pot, but there was no mistaking the shake in her voice. She was in tremendous pain and was having trouble hiding it. "When your father leaves, I'll get my wand and tend to it myself. There's no need to worry."
"There's always need to worry, Mum," Severus said. "You can't handle all of your injuries on your own and...he's going to kill you one of these days," the child whispered. He'd been thinking of this nightmare for months, but had never voiced his opinion to his mother before this moment. Severus couldn't help it. The thought of his mother suffering was awful enough, but to know he'd be left alone with a man who would surely take his life next was more than he could take.
Eileen turned to him, her eyes narrowed on his face. "That's ridiculous."
"No more ridiculous than letting him do it," he responded. "You can fight back," he began. "Why not? Why can't we just leave? Why can't you kill him?"
She didn't have to answer, he could see the response in her eyes. She was afraid. Paralyzed with irrational, life-threatening fear. She could no more leave her abusive husband or kill him than hurt her own son, though her life choices were doing just that. Eileen was trapped in a cage of her own indecision and internal defeat and nothing, not even the frequent begging of her only child, could force her to move them both to a healthy situation.
"Get in here!"
Eileen jumped as her husband bellowed from the living room. Checking the pot on the stove one last time, she smiled at her son and began walking slowly towards the living room, carefully favoring her hurt leg. Severus heard the first slap from where he waited in the kitchen. Seconds later he ran into the room. Eileen was crouched on the floor, her broken right leg cradled to her body. Her husband stood over her, shouting for his wife to stand. She attempted to obey him, but struggled, eventually falling back to the floor. Her son was at her side when Tobias slapped her a second time.
"Leave her alone!" Severus shouted. He clutched his mother to his side. Tobias began to reach for him, but stumbled back, his hand going to his chest.
"No," Eileen whispered.
Severus turned to her. "You can't mean that. How do you expect me to let him do this to you?"
She shook her head. Grabbing her son's shoulders, she used him as leverage to help herself sit up. "Please. Let me deal with this. Go outside."
Giving his mother one last look, he stood from the floor. Moments later, she stood after him, her gaze steady on her husband as she waved her son towards the front door. He walked away, then stood at the front door as he watched them, facing each other in silence, the tension between them growing until Severus felt his stomach knotting up. He opened the door. Maybe this was finally it, the end of it. Eileen Snape had had enough of her husband using her as a punching bag and was about to use all of her considerable power to put an end to it all, and end to him. As Severus opened the door, he heard his father whisper, "Now, then?"
He turned to the front porch. Gasping, he pulled the door up behind him as Lily walked up the steps.
"You're late," she said. "I thought I was going to have to come in after you."
Severus nearly began stuttering. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he'd forgotten all about his plans with her. Though he supposed watching his parents prepare to kill each other in the front parlor was enough to make anyone forget their plans for the day.
"Hello?" Lily smiled and waved a hand in front of his face. "I thought you...did you not want to tell me everything? You know, I thought this was all a joke, but I couldn't be sure and—"
"No, it's not that," Severus said, finally finding his voice. "Now, I can't. Not right now. I have to..." What? Save his mother's life? Help her kill his father? His father's voice broke into his thoughts. An answering shout from Eileen quickly followed.
Lily colored lightly and took a step backward. Severus couldn't blame her. The words coming from the other side of the door weren't the most polite conversation she could've heard by any stretch of the imagination. "What...?"
"My parents." Severus glanced over his shoulder at the door. The wall shook briefly as something heavy thudded against it. "They're...arguing. I can't leave right now. I can meet you in a couple of hours." Assuming things didn't get worse. His father was working a late shift at the mill and would leave in a little more than an hour. He only had to keep her safe until then. With the way things were going, he wasn't entirely sure that would be the case. "If that's all right with you," he said when she didn't respond. "Can we meet at the corner of Oak and Holland?"
"Sure. All right," Lily said. She jumped as there was another scream from inside the house. "I'll see you later, then." She smiled shakily, but her voice sounded as if she never expected to see him again. After what she'd heard, he wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. After watching her walk away for a moment, he went back into the house, prepared to use everything at his disposal to defend his mother.
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting," Severus said as he approached. She had jumped when he spoke, but smiled as he stopped next to her. "There was a lot going on." Lily nodded and her eyes dropped; she began staring at her feet. He cleared his throat. "I had chores and a few other things to take care of."
"It's all right," she said quietly. "I wasn't sure you'd come at all after—"
"I wasn't going to let anything stop me from coming," Severus said. Hearing the sudden strength in his voice, she looked up, her eyes questioning. He lifted the photo album tucked under his arm. "I made you a kind of...person would I be if I didn't keep it?" He'd almost said friend. As much as she'd given him hope by showing up, twice, he knew he had a long way to go before he could call himself Lily's friend. He smiled and gestured down the street. "Ready?"
"This way's a dead end," Lily said.
Severus nodded. "I think it'll be better if we go down by the river. Someplace quiet. You don't mind, do you?"
She shook her head. "No, not at all. I think quiet would be nice."
Lily leaned back on her hands, crushing the grass beneath them. It was dimmer under the canopy of trees, but the sun was still bright enough to illuminate her face and warm both of them from the cooling temperatures of the afternoon. "It's beautiful out here," she said, glancing towards the river behind them. "I could stay out here all day."
"That might be nice," Severus responded. "Though I'm sure some of the animals might have something to say about it. Unless you think you can get along with snakes. You probably could."
Lily turned to him and grinned. Severus felt a faint blush creep onto his cheeks. "You really like snakes, don't you?"
"I love them," he said. He traced his fingers over the Slytherin crest emblazoned over the front of his mother's photo album. "They know how to go after their prey without the victim having the slightest warning. They can sneak around without getting caught. They—" They can kill with one blow and no regrets, he thought. He let the words remain unsaid. Lily was hardly listening anyway. She was looking down at the emblem.
"Can you talk to them? To snakes I mean?" she asked absently.
"No," Severus responded. "Hardly anyone can. It's a pretty rare gift, even among wizards."
"Still," she said. "It would be amazing to talk to snakes, or any animal really, and know they really understood you. I can't imagine what I'd do if I could get them to talk back."
Severus knew exactly what he'd do, introduce one to Tobias Snape and watch as his scaled friend went to work. But even after everything Lily had seen of his family, he thought it might scare her to know exactly how he felt about his father and what he planned to do about it one day when he had the chance. As close as she was to her family, she wouldn't understand. Most people wouldn't. Not that they had to. All they saw was that Severus was often dirty and unkempt, a product borne more of his father's contempt for him than his mother's lack of love. That would all change if he was gone. Severus was biding his time.
Lily cleared her throat, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Are you sure you won't get in trouble for showing me these pictures?" She put her hand on the photo album, near his hand. "I know you said your Mum is all right with it, but won't get you get in trouble for showing me her school things?" She smiled and her fingers moved over the crest. "I would think there'd be some sort of rule against what you can show to people who aren't really..." She let her voice trail off, unsure of how to say what she was thinking."
"It's not like that," he responded. "You're different, like me. It's not like you're a Muggle."
"Wait, so the Ministry can punish you if you do magic in front of Muggles?"
"Sometimes they might give a warning first, but yes," Severus answered. "And the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside of school, you get letters."
Lily eyes opened wide with panic. "But I have done magic outside of school!"
"It's all right," he said. He placed his hand over hers on the album, smiling when she didn't pull away. "We don't have wands yet. They don't punish kids who can't help it."
"Even when I do things on the playground and I know what I'm doing?" Lily asked.
Severus smiled again. He shook his head. "We're not even eleven and we haven't been trained. They wouldn't be hard on us. But once we start school, we have to be careful."
Lily became silent and a small frown settled on her face. She picked up a twig and began swinging it through the air lightly. Severus imagined a beam of light streaming from it as she performed a spell with her makeshift wand. A dozen leaves would float around her, their surfaces shining as they caught the dim light. The water in the river behind them would rise up, swirling and splashing as it danced under her command. A snake would approach them where they sat on the bank and Lily would discover she could talk to it. Now, that would be something.
Suddenly she dropped the branch and turned to him. "It is real, isn't it? All of it?" She gestured to the album. "I want to believe, but..." She stopped, frowning. "Petunia says you're lying to me, that there isn't a Hogwarts."
"It's real for us," Severus said. "Not for her. She'll never know what it's like. We'll get the letter when it's time."
She smiled. "Really?" she whispered.
He could see in her eyes how much she wanted to believe in the magic, have confirmation for everything she'd already seen and done. It was only her sister's doubts clouding what she already knew, that everything in their world was real. That was only temporary. Soon, they would be immersed in it, walking away from the ordinary and living the extraordinary lives they were born to have. Lily, with her vivid imagination and inquisitive nature, would fit right in with their world. She'd never want to come back.
"It's definitely real," he said.
"Will the letter really come by owl?"
"Normally," he said. "I think it might be different because you're Muggle-born. Someone from the school will have to explain to your parents. Otherwise, they wouldn't know it was real," he explained. "I think that's the only way Muggle parents would let their children go."
"And does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"
Severus hesitated. He had no way of knowing if having two magic parents made a difference at all. His mother had, but he had never been privileged to see a full display of her powers. As for himself, as far as he knew, he wasn't any less talented than any other half-blood his age. Of course, he had no one to compare himself to and wouldn't until he started school. Lily was a special case. There was no doubt she was talented. In the short time he'd known of her, Severus had seen her do a few things he couldn't do. There was no telling how much talent she would display once she had a wand and professors at the best magic school in the world to train her.
"No," he said. "It doesn't make a difference."
"Good." Lily relaxed then, removing her hand from beneath his and leaning back to look up again.
"I don't know why you're worried," Severus began. "You can do so much already. I saw that when I watched you."
He stopped what he'd been about to say next. Lily wasn't listening again. She was staring off, probably picturing what it would be like once they were in school. She'd seen a few pictures of the castle, but it was nothing to walking around Hogwarts itself, his mother had said. Severus wished Lily could hear the truth of everything from his mother herself. Maybe one day, a better day, he could arrange that.
Lily cleared her throat. She smiled tentatively as her eyes met his again. "How did you leave things at your house?"
Severus frowned and his heart thudded hard once. "Fine," he said shortly.
"They're not...arguing anymore?"
Arguing. The lie he'd told and she'd readily pretended to believe. Only now the careful hesistation in her voice let him know she wasn't quite as willing to pretend as she had been earlier.
"Oh yes, they're arguing," he said. Without their fists, but still as tense as ever. His mum had promised she'd protect herself before he left the house, but he didn't know if he could believe that any more than the other times she'd sworn she would and let her husband get away with hitting her. One of these days, he was going to show the fighting spirit his mother rarely did and stop his father once and for all. Until then, he could do little more than worry about her every time he left the house, wondering if he'd have a mother to come home to every night. At least this time, he knew his father would have left for work not long after he'd come to meet Lily. His shifts at the mill were the only thing Tobias Snape cared about.
Glancing down, he noticed the shredded leaves beneath his fingers and the dirt that had accumulated beneath his nails. He brushed his fingers on his trousers and began picking the dirt out. "It won't be that long and I'll be gone." Hopefully, his mother would be committed to leaving by then, too. It was hard enough to leave the house these days, the thought of leaving her for months at a time was nearly the scariest he could imagine.
"Does your dad like magic?" Lily asked.
"He doesn't like anything, much."
An awkward silence settled between them again. He stared down at his dirty hands, wishing suddenly that he could be someone else. Anything to not feel the shame that came with being who he was, suffering because of his father.
Lily began to sense his discomfort. After a few long moments of silence, she cleared her throat. "Severus."
The sound of her saying his name brought a smile to his face. "Yeah?"
"Tell me more about the Dementors."
"Why do you want to know about them?" he asked.
Lily shrugged. "If I use magic outside school—"
Severus gave a small laugh. "They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that. They're for people who do really bad stuff." His father, for instance, though Muggles would never be subjected to them. "They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. Besides, you're too—" Nice. Special. Beautiful. A blush warmed his face and his hands drifted back to the leaves in front of his legs; he began shredding them further.
This fear of talking to her was nonsense. He had to tell her what he was thinking, how he felt. She might not return his feelings, not yet, but the worst that could happen is that she would...thank him for his compliments. She might smile prettily and blush. But even that would be all right. I like you. It was a simple truth he had to communicate. He had no more cause to feel embarrassed by it than saying, "The sky is blue," or "Your eyes are beautiful." Embarrassment aside, he had to say something. He could not let this moment go to waste the way their first meeting had.
Just as Severus was opening his mouth to speak, there was a rustling in the bushes a few feet behind them. Petunia stumbled out, her expression flustered at being caught out.
"Now look who's spying," Severus said. "What do you want?"
Her eyes went back and forth between the two for a moment before settling on the scowling boy. Petunia sneered at him. "What are you wearing, anyway?" She pointed with one shaking finger. "Your mum's blouse?"
Before he could think of a response, there was a loud crack. A branch fell from the tree overhead, hitting Petunia in the shoulder. Lily screamed. Petunia staggered before she burst into tears and ran back the way she'd come. Lily yelled after her sister before turning back to Severus.
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"No." The denial was weak. He was still trying to take stock of what had happened.
"You did!" Lily screamed. She began backing away. "You hurt her!"
"No, I didn't!" This time, his on voice seemed on the verge of cracking. He was fighting back sudden unexpected tears as Lily narrowed her eyes at him, turned and ran after her sister.
He didn't know what had happened. One minute he was talking to Lily, the next she was screaming at him because of what happened to her sister. That wasn't entirely true. He knew what had happened. He'd lost his temper and someone had gotten hurt. He wasn't like his father, though. He hadn't done it deliberately. Lily had to see that.
