I woke up to Barbary shaking me awake, the rest of the girls in our dorm were already gone.
"Come on!" She said, "We don't want to miss breakfast!"
"Thanks for waking me." I said pulling on my robes.
"I'm Alicia by the way, I realise we only know each other's last names."
"Venus." I said grinning. Maybe I had made a friend.
We walked into the common room and down to the main hall for breakfast.
"Did Snape give you detention?" She asked.
"No but I've got to go to self control lessons." I admitted.
I figured there was no harm in telling the truth, not the whole truth but I may as well keep as close to the truth as possible.
"Seriously? I've never heard of him doing that before!"
"Yeah well I must be a special case." I said shortly, "why didn't you leave with the other Slytherin girls?"
"I prefer you," She said simply, "the others are all pure blood fanatics who think they're better than everyone else because they can trace their line back for generations."
"Are you pure blood?"
"My dad's father was a half blood." She admitted.
"Oh is that why you don't seem to have as much jewellery as the rest?"
"Yeah loads of it is family crested for the others."
"I'm guessing you still have quite a bit of money though." I said looking at her robes.
"Yeah well," she saw me looking, "how come Harry has new robes and loads of money though?"
"He's the heir and he saved the world from you know who."
That wasn't true. He had all his father's fortune which was a lot more than our mother's. I'd worked it out, we must have got half of our mother's property each and my father wouldn't have had a Gringotts vault, he wouldn't have trusted his fortune with them, if he even had one so I was left with nothing.
We had arrived at the main hall.
"Do me a favour, don't tell the others about my self control lessons."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
I felt all the eyes on me as I walked into the hall from students and staff. I caught Snape's eye and and nodded to show I was okay, he lifted his glance and turned to the other teachers. Eventually I felt the others also lift their gazes and go back to their business. I was already attracting too much attention and they didn't even know who I was yet.
"What's on your arm Potter?" Malfoy sneered.
"What?"
"Well I've noticed that you tend to hold it tight and you panic any time you think someone might have seen it."
"It's none of your business Malfoy!"
"No," He said coming round the table to me,"I think I'll make it my business!"
He grabbed my arm and tried to pull back the sleeve of my cloak but it didn't move. He kept trying to pry it but it wouldn't give.
"Mr Malfoy," I heard a familiar voice drone, "may I ask what you are doing?"
"Professor Snape," He stammered, "I just wanted to see what Potter's hiding."
"What is on her arm is strictly between herself and myself, you have no duty knowing and so you will not attempt to gain this information, do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Professor."
"Sir..." I turned around to thank him but he had left ,cloak billowing, back to the staff table.
"Transfiguration first." I said to Alicia.
"Yeah I've heard McGonogall doesn't like us Slytherins much."
"Who does really?"
"True, I think Snape's the only teacher who likes us."
"Hey are you done? I want to get out of here."
"Sure, lets go."
We walked out of the great hall and wandered through the halls.
"What is on your arm then?"
I froze.
"I can't tell you."
"Oh come on, I get you didn't want to show Malfoy he's a prat but we're friends."
"I'm sorry but like Snape said it's between me and him, I can't say."
She huffed and walked off.
"I'm sorry I would tell you if I could."
Yeah I would tell her if it wasn't something that made me a death eater, if it was something like Harry's scar, proof of a battle but not the thing that linked me to my father.
I carried on wandering the halls without Barbary until the halls started to fill with students, then I began moving towards the transfiguration classroom. We were sharing the class with ravenclaw so naturally most of them were already there and sitting at the front. I was one of the first Slytherins so I grabbed a seat at the back, the less people that could see me the better.
The rest of the Slytherins eventually showed up and then Professor McGonogall turned from a cat into herself.
"Good morning class, here you will learn about transfiguration, the art of turning one form into another. Who can tell me the first wizard to perform a transfiguration?"
I knew this but I wouldn't raise my hand, the less attention I drew to myself the better it would be. Instead I leaned back in my chair, waiting for someone else to answer. Nobody raised their hand.
"Seriously, not one of you know." She said her eyes boring into me.
"Right let me see if any of you know this, who was the first wizard to become an animagus?"
Again easy but no one else seemed to know.
"Well you are a disappointing bunch but let us begin the lesson."
She droned on about the theory of transfiguration of which I already knew and then we started on the first transfiguration. We were to turn a match stick into a needle. Although I knew all the theory I couldn't seem to do the magic, I couldn't manage to make any difference to my match stick. Everybody else in the classroom had made at least a slight change or completed the full transfiguration. Professor McGonogall was walking around instructing them how to do it or how to complete the full transfiguration. She reached me and despite my attempts my matchstick was still a matchstick.
"Potter are you even trying?" She asked irritably.
"Yes Professor I am." I said through gritted teeth.
"A word at the end of class Potter."
I pushed down the anger that I felt, an explosion in the middle of class wouldn't do very well for my attempt to not be noticed.
By the end of the class everyone had managed a full transfiguration, that was everyone bar me. Everyone filed out but I stayed behind my chair. I received questioning glances from many of the other students as they passed me but I did my best to ignore them. When they had all left I walked towards Professor McGonogall's desk.
"Potter," She said, "you knew the answers to my questions at the start didn't you?"
"Yes." I replied coldly.
"Then why didn't you answer?"
"I don't want to draw any attention to myself." I said simply.
"Because refusing to do the transfiguration totally helped with that." She said cooly.
"Professor I tried, I really did, I just couldn't do it." I admitted.
"You don't fool me for a second Potter, I've seen the power of your magic."
"That's only the magic I can't control Professor, not the type I attempt to do!"
"Look Potter I don't care who your father is, I won't stand for your lack of work ethic in my classroom."
"Prof-,"
"You can't threaten me or use your power against me."
"I wouldn't," I shouted, "I'm not my father, I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to use my power to get through life but I'm also not Harry, not everything comes easy to me!"
I lost control of my magic and it spiralled through the room. The glass from the windows shattered and attached Professor McGonogall.
"Professor!" I screamed as she fell onto the floor, the shards of glass plunging into her skin.
I ran out the classroom sweating. I needed to find someone, I'd find Snape I decided. I ran to the dungeons, knocking on the door to his classroom. He opened the door and I realised that he was teaching, teaching Harry's class.
"What is it Potter, are you not supposed to be in your lesson?"
"I lost control, Professor," I admitted, "I've done something bad and I didn't know how to fix it."
"What have you done Potter?"
"It's Professor McGonogall, I attacked her with my magic, I didn't mean to, I just-,"
"That's enough!" He interrupted, "Come with me. Longbottom try not to blow anything up when I'm gone."
Harry looked at me but I wouldn't look back at him.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me along with him to the transfiguration classroom. It was worse than I had imagined. Professor McGonogall was bleeding covered in glass. Snape rushed forward muttering spells.
"Sir..." I started tentatively.
"Go away Potter, get to your lesson."
"But Sir..."
"Now!"
I didn't dare not obey him so I left the classroom. I had herbology with the Gryffindors and I was extremely late but I needed to go, I couldn't just wander around the halls for the next forty minutes. I made my way down to the greenhouses.
"Potter you're late, extremely late, where have you been?" Said Professor Sprout.
"I had to speak to Professor McGonogall." I said, it wasn't a lie.
She didn't believe me but she didn't push the subject.
"Right class as I was saying Devil's snare is a brutal plant, the only way we can fight it is with the charm Incendio. Repeat after me, incendio!"
The class repeated it.
"Now if you turn to your benches you can practice the spell on the devil's snare in front of you."
Again everyone seemed to be able to cast the spell but I couldn't.
"Potter, you were late and now you're not trying." Tutted Professor Sprout.
"Why does everyone assume that if I can't do something I'm not trying." I said annoyed.
"I saw your flames yesterday in the great hall Potter, I know you're capable."
"That was accidental, I can't do it normally!"
I was so frustrated and my magic poured up inside me. Maybe I could do it with this power but my magic escaped setting fire to my Devil's snare. I'd done what I'd supposed to be doing but without an incantation just knowing where my magic should be.
"Was that a non-verbal spell?" Asked Professor Sprout surprised.
I shrugged.
"I felt my magic inside that normally brings destruction and I was thinking about the spell and it did it." I said simply.
"Now try it normally." She urged.
"Incendio!" I said but nothing happened.
"Keep trying Potter." She sighed and moved on to a Gryffindor boy.
When the lesson ended I left promptly. I wasn't going to lunch, I was going to the hospital wing to check what had happened to Professor McGonogall.
"Venus!" I heard a voice shout behind me.
I turned around and saw Ginny coming towards me.
"Ginny," I said, "you still want to talk even though I'm a Slytherin."
"Venus, I know you for more than your house, I knew you before we were sorted and you're a good person, nothing will change that." She said.
"Really, you think I'm a good person." I said taken a back.
Nobody thought I was a good person. I was a Slytherin and a child of the Dark Lord how could I be good?
"Venus what's wrong?" Ginny asked.
"Nothing!"
"Something's wrong I could tell when you came into herbology."
"You're right something is wrong perhaps I should go to the hospital wing."
"Venus it's something more than that. I know what's on your arm, I overheard mum telling dad."
I froze.
"I didn't mean to overhear," she urged, "and I didn't tell anyone but is it something to do with that?"
"In a way." I relented.
"Let me help you."
"No you can't help me, you'll get hurt."
"There's nothing dangerous here Venus."
"Yes there is, me."
I turned and walked away as fast as I could. I moved randomly so she couldn't follow me. It wasn't that I didn't like her, it was exactly that, I liked her. I couldn't get too close to her or I'd wing up hurting her, I couldn't get close to her or I might lose her.
I made my way to the Hospital wing.
"Miss Potter, I thought I said I hoped I wouldn't see you too soon, what's wrong?" Madam Pomfrey asked."
"Nothing is wrong with me." I told her.
"Then why are you here, this is a hospital wing!"
"I know I shouldn't be here but I need to check on a patient."
"Miss Potter I don't believe any of your friends or family are in here, in fact I only have one patient."
"Professor McGonogall."
"Yes but how do you know?"
"Did Professor Snape tell you what had happened?"
"Yes he told me a student had lost control of their magic but I really don't-,"
"Who is the only student who has strong magic but I is too weak to control it?" I asked quietly.
Realisation suddenly dawned on her face.
"You did this?"
I nodded.
"But I didn't mean too, I can't help it, I can't control my magic but please I need to see if she's alright."
"Potter I'm sorry but I definitely can't now, I can tell you that she will recover in a few days."
I sighed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you Madam Pomfrey."
I walked out of hospital wing and around the halls, I wasn't hungry and I didn't fancy being surrounded by people. Again when the halls started to fill I made my way to charms. I had a double period of charms this afternoon.
Again I slid into a seat at the back as one of the first Slytherins. The Hufflepuffs were mainly already there but they all sat closer to the front. When the last few Slytherins had slipped in, Professor Flitwick started the lesson. Like McGonogall he started by asking questions. Again I knew them but didn't put my hand up and nobody could answer them. Had nobody opened a book before arriving at Hogwarts?
We did some work from our textbooks to start and I was great at this. I flew through the theory questions and Professor Flitwick actually looked impressed. In the second part of the double period we moved onto trying to cast a spell: Wingardium Leviosa. Like in my other lessons I couldn't seem to cast the spell. My magic was so powerful, why couldn't I cast the simplest of spells? I saw Flitwick's face flood with disappointment as I failed to do the spell.
I gritted my teeth. I wanted to make a teacher proud like I had done earlier. I hated disappointing them, I wanted to make them realise I was more than just Voldermort's daughter, that I was a good witch.
But I'm not, I'm not good, I can't do simple spells. Even my father wouldn't be happy with my skill. He would want more, he would expect me to excel to beat everyone else but I wasn't. I was worst at spells so I was disappointing the only person who had wanted me born and though I didn't want to be related to him, I was. I truly felt alone, nobody cared or was proud of me, no one.
