Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue Chapter 3!

(Author's notes are in bold text.)

Feel free to skip all my notes, but I have a (Overly long) message!

Sorry for the wait guys! A lot of crap happened between chapter two and now. First was, as some of you are aware, that at first my series broke a (ridiculous) rule. So, I had to re-format it. And that really sucked. It took literally two hours on each, and I have an extremely low attention spa- Ah, screw it, I'm just going to write chapter three.

Donkey Kong and Diddy are standing on a grassy cliff, because that's apparently that's what they do all day. Hey, ape's need hobbies too.

Note: All languages have been translated into English. No unintelligible grunts! I'm not writing for Disney channel here, people.

"Hey, Donkey Kong!" Diddy said to the giant ape, "There is a recycled plot!"

Donkey and Diddy see a Koopa in what vaguely resembles a hover car. BUT HE'S STEALING THEIR BANANAS WHAAAAT!?

"Stop them, we must do!" Yoda- I mean Donkey Kong said to his cousin.

They jump off their cliff, and decide to chase the Koopa by foot.

"Why don't we just get Funky Kong to make us something to catch the bananas?" Diddy suggested.

Donkey Kong then slaps Diddy, and the level starts.

Oh, yeah, my message. So, I went camping a couple of weeks ago, and I stayed for longer than I thought. (It was that day with the huge meteor shower, which, sadly, we didn't see.) Plus, I had to enter for several contests. (Cross your fingers that I win one!) Yes, those are my excuses. DEAL WITH IT!

Wait, I'm actually writing chapter 3? That's actually getting written?! Wow. I guess I should get back to the story.

You get the choice to play as Donkey or Diddy. Hm… Do you choose the weak monkey or the towering ape? This is the most difficult choice ever. After a week long identity crisis, I chose the obvious choice, Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong comes up to a Goomba. He chooses the peaceful solution.

"DONKEY KONG SMASH!" D.K. yelled. Yes, that's his idea of peaceful solution. D.K. Kombat is his idea of a playful rustle.

"Why don't we just jump on the Goombas?" Diddy asked the ape.

"Because I chugged 30 litres of Power Thirst, and I feel like punching things. When the player is playing as you, you can jump on every freaking Goomba."

"But, nobody ever plays as me!" Diddy moaned.

"I know."

Donkey Kong smashes to his heart's content, while Diddy finishes drinking his eight beer. They finally reach the Koopa with the bananas, and promptly punch him in the Koopa face. They start celebrating.

But then, a wild BOWSER appears!

Diddy then walks over to Bowser, attempting to look… Not wimpy.

"You think you can beat the D.K. Crew?!"

"Yes." Bowser replied, and took his awesome Trophy Gun thing, aiming at the inebriated monkey's face.

Diddy and Donkey backed away.

"Now, I will turn one of you into a trophy… How about Diddy! People love Diddy, right?" He aimed his Trophy Gun at Diddy a second time, "Now just sit here until my gun is charged," Bowser told the Kongs.

"How long will that take?" Donkey Kong asked Bowser, worriedly.

"Just until you make a heroic sacrifice to save Diddy for some reason," Bowser replied.

"So, it's going to charge forever?" Donkey asked.

"C'mon, we need to move this plot along," Bowser told the giant ape.

"Fine…" Donkey Kong then Donkey Punch's Diddy into a boss fight.

"COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST PUSHED ME AWAY?!" Diddy yelled as he blasted off again.

Meanwhile, Donkey Kong is turned into a trophy offscreen. Sadly, the one scene everyone wanted to see, happened offscreen.

Now, the next part was supposed to be it's own chapter, but due to the shortness of this one, you get both.

Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue Chapter 4!

The Narrator from Super Friends for some reason decides to tell you what happened in that chapter that doesn't exist. "Last time on: Super Smash Bros. But With Dialogue, our heroes, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were having wacky hijinks! But not the sexual kind, shippers! They chased a Koopa who stole the bananas, and caught him. But wait! Bowser came down and used his badass gun to turn Donkey Kong into a trophy! Now, let us see what Diddy is doing! Okay, now give me my money!"

The Author gives him his money, and the Narrator leaves. Author starts sobbing, so we go to what Diddy Kong is doing.

We see Diddy swinging around on vines. He is most likely drunk. By the way, don't drink and swing. A whole 100% of deaths come from this. Anyway, he stops at a shore, where he sees a shot down Arwing. It was either the one Fox crashed in chapter 2, or someone saw Slippy and took appropriate actions.

Anyway, Diddy walked over to the Arwing, but then…

A WILD RAYQUAZA appeared!

"Im-a firin' ma lazar! BLARGH!" Rayquaza then fires his hyper beam at the wrecked Arwing. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

"I'm gonna kill you!" Rayquaza yelled at Diddy, then picked him up.

"That's crappy dialoguuuuuue!" Diddy yelled as he's grabbed by Rayquaza.

"Mwahahaha! Nobody can stop me now!"

Fox pops out from the Arwing wreckage to stop him now, "Guess you didn't account for me surviving the laser! Little did you know, PLAYER Types are immune to CUTSCENE attacks!" He then shoots Rayquaza's arms, and he let's go of Diddy. Somehow, Diddy doesn't fall and drown in the lake, but falls directly in front of Fox.

"What the Hell is going on?" Fox yelled at Diddy.

"Nintendo logic." Diddy answered.

"Good enough answer for me!" Fox says to the monkey, "Time for a horribly unbalanced boss fight!"

The player has the option to choose as Fox or Diddy. I play a modified version of Russian Roulette to determine who I play as. If I don't blow my brains out, I play as Fox. If I do, my ghost will be sent to hell, and forced to play as Diddy by Mephisto himself. I live and choose Fox.

"Winning!" Fox cheers as he shoots Rayquaza's face, and avoids his Hyper Beam, "Wow, this is pretty easy! Now, if only my laser actually did any damage…"

Rayquaza then dives head first into the ground, "Awesome! I beat a legendary! Surely he ran away! I guarantee he's not about to burst from the ground! That move is cliché…" Rayquaza then bursts from the ground, and defeats Fox.

RAYQUAZA used TAUNT, "Haha! I learned that from every videogame ever!" It's super effective!

Diddy then appears, "Oh my Pauletena! I'm actually being played as!" Rayquaza promptly hyper beams Diddy, "I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN, AGAIN! THIS IS HORRIBLEY REPETITIVE!"

Meanwhile, at the Team Rocket headquarters…

"Hey, Jesse," James said to not his girlfriend, Jesse.

"What is it, idiot?" Jesse asked the Team Rocket fellow.

"I feel like some ape is using our bit." James confessed.

"That's ridiculous!" Jesse replied.

"Meowth, that's right!"

Back to the fight…

Fox reappears infront of Rayquaza.

"I'm back!" Fox taunted, then paused, "For literally no reason!"

"You might be," Rayquaza replied, "But you still cannot defeat me!"

"Yes I can!" Fox told the legendary, "I know all your moves!"

"What?! How?!" Rayquaza asked in shock.

"You're horribly repetitive!" Fox answered.

Fox promptly performs a legendary asskicking, defeating Rayquaza. Fox captures him in a Poke Ball.

"Why did you catch him?" Diddy asked the pilot.

"I can get a level 2 Bidoof for him on the Grand Exchange! It would be stupid for me NOT to catch him!"

The boss fight is over, and now Diddy is ditched on someone else.

"YEAH!" Donkey cheered.

"Aren't you a trophy?" I ask the ape.

"… Yes." Donkey replied.

"NO! No plot holes!"