There's no taking back what we've got
Too strong, we've had each other's back for too long
There's no breaking up this time
(All in - Lifehouse)
"Jo!" Alex called as he and Meredith entered the house.
"Right here," he heard Jo's voice coming from the second floor. They took the stairs to find Jo sat on the carpet at one of the empty rooms, surrounded by dozens of books, from cheap literature to medicine bibles. He entered the room and bent to kiss her.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm just wondering if I can put my bookshelf here. We can have a little office. What do you think?"
"Yeah, no problem. This house is as yours as mine," Alex replied, sincerely, and got back her beautiful smile.
"Thank you," Jo said and turned to Meredith. "Hi, Dr Grey."
"Hi, Jo. Is Cristina here?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah, she's with Sofia on Alex's bedroom," she said and, then, corrected herself. "Our bedroom."
Alex and Meredith exchanged a look of slightly surprise. Though they knew that Cristina loved her goddaughters, she wasn't the babysitter type. They walked out of the newly named office and found their friend reading at his bed, with Sofia sleeping by her side.
"Here you are," Meredith said and reached to hug her best friend. Surprising Alex again, Cristina hugged him too. The too women sat at the bed while he took the armchair. They spent a few minutes talking about Meredith's kids and Cristina's job. Then, Jo put her head inside the room and interrupted them.
"Hey, Alex. I forgot to tell you, Addison Montgomery called. She said she will try to come, but she can't be sure, because she have a c-section scheduled for the morning," she said.
"Hmm, okay," Alex replied.
Jo left the room and Alex looked back to his friends only to find curious looks in their eyes.
"Did you invite one of your exes to your wedding?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah, what's the matter?" Alex replied. "It's been years since I slept with her."
"I don't know," Meredith said. "Isn't it weird? I mean, she's Addison Montgomery. I've been married to Derek for six years and I still don't feel comfortable around her."
"Your husband was married to her for more time than he knows you. It's different. Not that she didn't want to, but she wasn't even my girlfriend," Alex replied.
"He's got a point," Cristina interrupted. "Besides, if he had restricted the guests to people he didn't sleep with, the only women in the wedding would be me, you, Bailey and Robbins." Then, she turned to Alex. "You didn't sleep with Bailey and Robbins, did you?"
Alex rolled his eyes. "No. There's only a few invited women that I slept with. Addison, Callie, Leah, a couple of nurses that Jo invited. And Lucy, but she's still on Africa, so of course she's not coming."
"Did you invite Lucy? God, Jo really trusts in you. Or she's testing you," Cristina teased.
"Jo is a confident woman, we can see it in the OR. I like it about her. But Lucy is someone I would never expect. I didn't know you had forgiven her and kept contact with her. She stole your job!" Meredith said, referring to a time the three of them didn't like to remember.
"She's now one of the coordinators of the program in Africa. I have to keep contact with her, and so does Jo, since she's the one who helps me with the bureaucratic stuff. We are kind of friends, there's no hard feelings," he explained.
"After that I wouldn't be surprised if you said that you invited Izzie," Cristina said, sarcastically.
Meredith's eyes widened, censuring her best friend. Though Alex found it completely unnecessary, he understood Meredith's reaction. For three long years he avoided every conversation about Isobel Stevens. For three long years he thought he would never love someone like he loved her. Then, he met Jo. By the time he realized he was in love with her, he also noticed that he hadn't think about Izzie for a few months already. It was over. Completely over.
Before answer, Alex thought for a second. How would their lives be if Izzie had come back at some point after they get a divorce? They probably wouldn't be best friends, but he couldn't avoid her completely. "Maybe I would, if she was still around."
Both Cristina and Meredith opened their mouths to say something, but Sofia woke up sniffing and calling for her mother. Meredith got up from her chair and took the girl from Alex's bed.
"She's still febrile. I'm gonna give her a bath," she said and got out of the room. Cristina waited a few seconds before resume the conversation.
"How did you know when you were over? Izzie, I mean," she asked.
This question caught Alex by surprise. Was she implying that he wasn't? Cristina didn't seem to notice the confuse look in his eyes, as she kept talking.
"How do you know? How do you know your legs won't tremble and your heart won't race if you meet her again? How do you know you won't miss her in the middle of the night? Or see her blond hair and her blue eyes in your dreams?"
Wait... Alex noticed that there was something wrong. He was pretty sure Izzie's eyes weren't blue.
"Izzie's eyes are brown," Alex said, finally understanding. Cristina wasn't talking about his ex-wife; she was talking about her ex-husband.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," she shrugged. "But see? You remember!"
"Of course I remember, I'm not a moron," he said. "And answering your question, I don't know how, I just know. It used to hurt me every time I thought about her, then one day it didn't hurt anymore."
"And you were with Wilson already?"
He stopped to think. He remembered the exactly day that happened. He remembered having a tough day with a father who didn't accept his daughter being transsexual. He remembered the ER closed, some random corporation wanting to buy the hospital and Kepner bringing in a clandestine patient. He remembered Jo's surprising math skills. He remembered Meredith saying that he should consider take their friendship to another level. And the donuts. He remembered that dark closet and the box full of powdered sugar donuts. He remembered feeling that that girl really cared about him and that he felt really good when he was with her. He remembered thinking about Izzie and suddenly realizing he hadn't thought about her for a couple of months already. And he remembered that, for the first time, he brushed her off his mind without feeling guilty for not trying a little harder to make their relationship work.
"We were friends. I think I already had feelings for her, but I didn't know yet. It's not that she came to my life and made me forget about Izzie. It's more like... Until meeting her, I didn't know I could have another chance."
As he said that, Alex noticed that Cristina wasn't paying attention anymore. She was at the window, looking outside with painful eyes. He tried to say something, but he wasn't that good with words. Cristina wasn't good at exposing her feelings either. He knew she still loved Owen, he just didn't know how he could help.
They were both in silence when he heard Meredith entering the room again.
"Okay, she's a little better now. I called one of Bailey's babysitters, she's not home now, but I can drop Sofia there in forty minutes," she said, dressing the girl. "What are you talking about?"
Before Alex could open his mouth, Cristina responded quickly: "Lucy."
"Still Lucy?" Meredith asked. "I thought you were talking about Izzie when I left."
"No, Alex was talking about their work with the orphans." Cristina looked at him, and he understood that she was trying to hide something. Probably, the fact that bring Izzie to the conversation was making her think about Owen. He knew that Cristina didn't tell Meredith everything about her relationship with him. Again, she didn't give him time to say anything, leading the subject the way she wanted to: "You never went to Africa, did you? Don't you wanna go, one day?"
Alex got it. It was his clue to talk about something other than exes failed relationships. "Maybe. Once in a while they need a surgeon there, but Robbins always goes. Eventually, I'll take over. Specially now, that-"
Meredith, who was silent looking for something in Sofia's bag, suddenly stopped him, with that tone she used when she wanted to censure him. "Alex."
Then, he realized what he was about to say. Unfortunately, Cristina seemed to notice something too. "Now that what?"
AUTHOR NOTES
Don't hate me, next chapter will be Owen's POV, and it will have some answers for you.
