Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto. But I do own Princess Yuki Itami Cindy Lou Raven Sparklypooh. Ha, be jealous suckers!
A/N: Next chapter guys, aren't you a lucky bunch? Sorry it's been taking me so long to update everything! It's just I'm about to start a new school and stuff. Plus year 12 has got me worried, so please bear with me! I haven't given up on stuff, I'm just having a break.
"Oh, it's you again."
"Aww, you don't sound very happy to hear from me, darling."
"When are you going to pick it up?"
"Why, don't you like her?"
"I'm not even going to dignify that question with an answer."
"Heh, I knew you'd enjoy looking after her for a while." A pause while the one on the other end of the line took a slow intake of breath. It sounded like the other person was smoking. "Fine Pein, we'll be round by the end of the week to pick her up at latest, okay?"
"What? End of the week that's too long-!" But it was too late as the anonymous voice had already hung up.
"Bloody woman…" Pein growled, setting the phone handset down and glaring at the papers and scrolls scattered on his desk.
"What was that?"
"Nothing Konan! Just a little business." The leader of the Akatsuki called out in that voice that men use to hide things from their wives. Not that Konan was Pein's wife, Hell no. Though he would be if Konan had her way, instead of being convinced that starting a shinobi terrorist organisation was a better way of spending their money then a wedding in the Algarve. So far, she wasn't convinced.
There was a loud crash for the corridor and many shouts. Something about 'the other Brat' and 'get off my fucking arm!'
It was days like this when Pein had second thoughts on forming the Akatsuki. Sighing, he laid his head against the table and closed his eyes, hoping to wake and find this had all been a bad dream.
Somewhere Else in the Akatsuki Base…
"I said get off!" Deidara was fed up. Having this bloody Princess around was like having a smaller, less clumsy, sneakier female version of Tobi. At least with the moronic orange fool you could hear if he was going to creep up on you but this girl, she was like greased lightening, jumping onto your back whilst squealing your name into your ear.
She was, in all honesty, worse then Tobi.
"Deidara-kun!" Princess Yuki stopped pulling on Deidara's hair and looked up into his eyes… Eye… Whatever, and tears formed at the corners of her own. "How can you be so cruel!? I thought we were going to get married!" The few droplets of salty liquid soon turned into a torrent, the end result being a bawling teenager sat on the floor, looking very un-princess-like and incredibly immature.
Safe to say, Deidara wasn't impressed. "You said that to Hidan AND Leader-Sama when you met them too."
"Yes, but Hidan-kun's religion comes between our beautiful love and Pein-kun-"
"That's Leader-sama to you."
"-Is already being misled by that blue-haired cow." Princess Yuki finished, not even noticing Deidara's interjection.
'Oh no she didn't!' Deidara thought. He roughly grabbed Princess Yuki by the collar of her clothes and picked her up off the floor so they could see eye to eye.
"Konan-san is one of the greatest Kunoichi's ever and a far better woman then you'll ever be. Don't you dare bad mouth her!" Rage was written across Deidara's face but Princess Yuki was too busy staring into his eyes.
"KYAA! Deidara-kun, you're so hot when you're angry!" Somehow she managed to lean forward just enough to get their lips to touch.
It was unfortunate for Deidara that Hidan had just chosen that precise moment to make his way down the hall.
"Holy shit Blondie! And here I was thinking you were gay!"
"Hidan!" Deidara called, currently attempting to remove the girl from his arm, "Get her the Hell off me!"
"Heh, no-can-do Dei-chan. Touching something like that is against Jashinism and all that, remember?" Hidan said, leaning against the wall with a grin.
"BULLSH-"
"Brat, will you shut up. The whole base can hear you." Deidara found the chunky tail of Hiruko pulling Princess Yuki into the air, towards the puppet until she was staring it in the face. "And you, the temporary brat, stay off my partner. I have to be around him and I don't want him smelling like a flower stand. Though it might be better then mud…"
"Deidara-kun, save me!" She wailed, reaching out to the blonde who simply gave her an incredulous look before turning to walk back to his room. Sasori thought he heard the boy mutter, 'good luck with her, Danna' but dismissed the thought soon after.
"Look here Princess, if you don't shut up now not even Leader-Sama will stop me from turning you into a puppet." Sasori glared at the girl in his grasp through Hiruko's eyes, though it slightly dampened the affect he was trying to achieve. The affect being her head exploding from the amount of loathing he was directing towards it. Unfortunately, all he got was a scowl.
"Why should I listen to you? You're just some perverted old man who wants to do terrible things to me!"
Sasori heard a snort of laughter come from behind him. Upon turning the bulky form of Hiruko, Sasori found that Hidan was still lent up against the wall, smirking like no tomorrow. He'd forgotten about the Jashinist for a moment.
"Hidan, get the hell out of here."
"What you gonna do, Stick Dick? Kill me?" Hidan said.
"No, but I could tear off your arms and then replace them with hers." Sasori replied calmly, inclining his head towards the girl caught in his tail, blissfully oblivious to the fact she was being talked about.
Hidan visibly paled and then took off in the opposite direction that Deidara disappeared off to.
'Now what to do with this?' Sasori questioned himself. He couldn't leave it wandering around the base as it would probably make a beeline to Deidara. Not that Sasori was jealous of it for stealing a kiss from the blonde male, but rather because he'd rather not have Deidara destroying their shared room.
Suddenly Sasori felt a familiar presence in his mind that wasn't his own.
'Akatsuki, report to the meeting room. And hurry it up.' A break whilst Leader contemplated something and then, 'Oh and Sasori, bring the hostage.'
'Oh so it's a 'hostage' now?' Sasori sighed, walking towards the meeting room whilst ignoring the 'hostage's' protests and demands. 'Leader-sama and his melodramatics…'
A/N: For all those who have been asking, Itachi will appear in the next chapter!
Last chapter, 8 Mary-Sues were killed. Come on guys, we can do better then that!
Give a review, kill a 'Sue!
