[AN: I'm pretty sure Sam would eviscerate anyone who ever called her "Sammy" but it just seemed to fit. Also, the iCarly wiki said Patillo was the last name of one of Sam's cousins, so I used it as Pam's maiden name.]
Melanie had Jaspar's eyes; kind and giving, but not always tough. Sam, on the other hand, was her mother through and through and had adored her father. Both girls had. Pam was sorry that they'd grown up without him, but she was even sorrier that Sam had grown up to become her. It was Freddie who'd called Pam 3 years ago to tell her that Sam had miscarried. Pam's response had been "Miscarried what?" because she wasn't mother of the year by any stretch of the imagination, but she'd sure as hell hoped that her kids would at least inform her of big developments like parole hearings and pregnancies. She'd driven to their apartment immediately to find Sam curled on the couch beneath a blanket and everyone but her crying. She'd knelt in front of Sam and took note of her unfocused eyes and slack jaw and a sense of helplessness had overwhelmed her. She laid a hand on Sam's cheek.
"Sammy," she'd whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Sam had shaken her head slightly. "This is how it's supposed to be."
"What?"
"I'd be a bad mother. It's for the best," Sam whispered. Pam had been shocked and a dry sob tore free from her throat as she'd pressed her face into her hands. She was distantly aware of Sam stroking her hair, comforting Pam when it should have been the other way around. "It's okay Mom. It'll be okay."
Pam had shaken her head because no it wouldn't be okay. Here was her baby girl comforting her, telling her it would be okay after losing a baby for whom Pam wouldn't have been able to handpick a better mother. She wanted to tell Sam this, that she was strong and loving in a way Pam had never been and that she was sorry she'd let Sam believe anything else. But all she could do was cry and for the thousandth time since Jaspar left, Pam felt like she'd failed her daughter.
[&&&]
Pam and Wanda had the same parole officer and every so often, Wanda would call Pam (though Pam was sure she'd never given Wanda her real number) to beg her for an alibi. She'd been expecting more of the same when Wanda greeted her this time, but life is just full of surprises.
"Why didn't you tell me your baby girl was getting married Puckett? I could've found her a great deal on a honeymoon suite!"
Pam's mouth dropped open. She and Sam spoke at least twice a month and Pam had thought that for them that was great; apparently she'd missed something. "My girls aren't married," she snapped. "Where the hell are you getting this?"
"Nicky said he saw her leaving the court house with some guy and her little girlfriend from the web show. Aw shit Pam, did I ruin the surprise?"
"I'll get back to you on that," Pam said and she hung up the phone before Wanda could respond. Last time she and Sam had talked Sam was still with the Benson kid. She could understand why they'd want to elope- Marissa Benson was the craziest woman Pam had ever met and she associated with some real whack jobs- but she couldn't help but wonder why Sam hadn't called her. She didn't believe in marriage, not anymore, but she would've been supportive all the same.
Speak of the devil, Pam thought as her phone rang again. It was Sam. "Got something to tell me kiddo?" she said when she answered.
"Uh no," Sam said, obviously surprised by the greeting. "I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch later."
"I'll check my schedule. Where were you last night?" She could almost hear Sam roll her eyes.
"If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard that…"
"Apparently Nicky saw you leaving the court house with Carly and Freddie."
"First of all, Nicky needs to keep his nose out my business before I break it. Second of all I was with Carly and Sam. They got married, she asked me to be there."
Pam could feel the relief slide through her veins. "I knew you wouldn't tie the knot without telling me."
Sam laughed. "As long as you promise not to tell Mel. She'll go all wedding crazy and I'll be shitting flowers and doves for weeks."
"Watch your mouth," Pam said without meaning it. "You paying for lunch?"
"Technically Freddie is."
"Guess I'm free then."
"Good."
[&&&]
They met at the Cheesecake Warehouse and when Pam hit on the waiter Sam apologized for her mother's lack of inhibition and said it was caused by a traumatic brain injury due to an excess of prunes. Predictably, the waiter made himself scarce throughout the meal.
"Nice bling," Pam said, nodding to Sam's engagement ring. "When'd he propose?"
"He didn't," Sam said. "He bought it ages ago and thought I didn't know about it." She regarded the ring thoughtfully. "I figured there was no point in letting it go to waste."
"Makes sense," Pam said as she continued studying her dessert menu. "Got a date in mind?"
"God no." Sam paused. "But we might try to have another baby."
Pam looked up at Sam, who was suddenly inspecting her napkin quite thoroughly, and smiled. "That's great," she replied and Sam simply shrugged as she twisted the napkin around her index finger. "Sam," Pam said. Sam looked up at her and Pam was struck by how much she'd grown in the past few years. The Sam sitting across from her had been through hell and back but continued to forge on. That's the Patillo in her, Pam thought proudly.
"What?" Sam asked. "Is there something on my face?"
Pam shook her head. "Your face is perfect." She paused again. "I know I've made mistakes but you and your sister are my greatest accomplishments. I'm not worried about any kid you have Sammy. I know you'll be a great mother."
Sam smiled brighter than Pam had seen in a long time. "Thanks, Mom."
Pam smiled back and looked at her menu again. "Your attitude is shit though, and the kid's probably will be too."
Sam laughed. "Watch your mouth."
