I was luckily able to go to sleep after three hours of crying. I promised myself that I would never shed another tear for Edward but seeing his face just brought back all the pain, all the love that I had for him. I never thought that after all he did to me that I could still love but I did. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. I wanted to know be by his side but I just couldnt find it in my heart to do so. I just didnt want to date a guy that had hurt me. A guy that made me cry and who made me feel small. I thought of calling Alice but I didnt want to know what her reaction would be to me rejecting her brother like that. I dont know if I could stand five more days in this town. The guilt was eating me alive, breaking my insides before anything else. At eleven thirty after my dad had already gone to work there was pebbles being thrown at my locked bedroom window. I drew back my curtains to find Alice smiling at me almost sympathetically. I unlatched my window and gestured her in. Once she was in ( which by the way didnt take very long at all) I grabbed her in a big hug let me cry into her shoulder.
She patted my back.
" It will be ok." She whispered. I looked up at her.
" Im just so glad that I have my best friend by my side." I sniffled smiling a little. She looked at me surprised and smiled.
" Really?! Oh Bella thats great! I really am sorry!" She said.
" I know." I said giving a shy smile. I sat down on the bed and brought my legs up to my chest. Alice sat next to me and rubbed my back.
" Bella talk to me." She pleaded. I sighed and looked up at her.
" Alice I dont know what you want me to say." I said honestly.
" I want you to say what your feeling. I want to know what your thinking." She told me. I sighed I didnt want to deal with anymore problems. I didnt want to talk of any of them afraid that if I did that I would break down.
" I was thinking about your brother and how I dont think that we will ever be able to be together." I whispered.
" Im truly sorry that we ever had to leave you. I didnt want to but Jasper became so sick with himself that he decided to move. I couldnt live without him." She told me.
" I understand Alice. But do you understand why I had to leave Edward?" I asked skeptical. She nodded.
" I just dont get why he would come here and beg for your forgiveness." She said. I knew that she wouldnt understand that.
" Alice I love your brother very very much and he had to beg because even though he left me he loves me just the same as the day he met me." I explained my voice crackling as I said the words towards the end.
" Are you fighting his love or are you avoiding the pain?" She asked confused.
" Avoiding the pain." I told her. I broke down in a sob on her shoulder.
" My brother is definitely stupid for ever hurting you." She exclaimed trying to cheer me up. I attempted to smile at her but I dont think that it came out right.
" I just dont know what to do anymore." I told her fidiling with my thumbs.
" Bella I know what Im gonna do." She told me mischevously.I gave her a peculiar glance.
" And what exactly is that?" I asked laughing a bit.
" Im going to buy I house in Phoniex and visit you EVERY weekend. I PROMISE." She told me excited. I smiled a genuine smile.
" Thanks Alice that means a lot to me." I said giving her a half smile. Her and I just lay in my bed all day just enjoying each others company. Ive learned in this life that words dont solve anything and apologies were no excuses for the pain caused.
