Author's note: Hello lovelies! Thank you all so much for being kind enough to read Nebulous. It really means a bunch. Also, I live on reviews, so if you have the time please leave one!
It is 1:32 A.M. by the time Gary lets me leave the dorm. I haven't slept since I was attacked, for fear of both the physical dangers and the "my-room-mate-is-a-sociopath" dangers.
I stand in front of a Beam Cola machine in the common room, pushing the crinkled dollar bill back into the slot when it's rejected. Things have been tense in the few hours Gary and I have remained cooped up in our dorm. He comes and goes, I stay wrapped up in my blankets.
We've only had a handful of brief conversations, mostly where he asks if I've dropped dead yet. My answer is usually no, but sometimes I don't say anything, because there is a tidal wave of unpleasant emotions washing against the dam I have built in my chest, threatening to give way. Right now I'm about as useful as the dead.
I have trouble looking at Gary. He probably saved my life today, at the very least the remnants of my dignity. But that doesn't stop me from seeing the bloodied face of my attacker every time I look at him.
I'm waiting for it to really hit me that I was almost raped. At the time everything was too fast and too fuzzy, but now in the relative calm of silence between two angry teenagers, the feelings are growing tangible. So thick that I can't swallow them down anymore.
My soda seems so out of reach.
I fiddle with my dollar a few more times in the harsh light, flattening it out on my uninjured knee. I hear shuffling from the doorway as I insert the money again. Jimmy stands there, looking less angry than usual. He's in a good mood.
"'Sup, Pete?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.
"Uh, nothing much. Can't sleep." Lies. A Beam Cola comes clamoring out of the machine. "You?"
"Same. Figured if I was going to be awake I'd play some video games. You in?" Jimmy's stout figure bends in front of the little tv and turns on the console.
"Sure, I guess." I open the can and sip at it, hoping the sugar will get me through the rest of the night.
We sit together on the faded green couch, exchanging no words that don't relate to the race car game, and all is well. Jimmy isn't the friendliest of people, but he's nice enough, and more importantly he isn't Gary.
By the time I've lost my fourth round of races, Jimmy's voice cuts through the room.
"I didn't see you in class today."
"Didn't think you'd notice." Also didn't think you'd attend in the first place.
He presses hard on the buttons of his controller. "Yeah, got busted by some prefects. Don't you usually go to class?"
"Well, yeah." I reply as my car flips.
"Then where were you?"
I roll the question over in my head. How much trouble would I really get in for telling Jimmy? There's no way he'll rat on me for skipping. But I don't exactly feel like sharing what happened yet.
"In town with a friend." I settle for half truths. Not lying, just not telling everything.
Jimmy pauses the game and looks at me with a grin on his face. "Did you get some ass?"
"No! No, not that kind of friend! Really!" My stomach lurches.
He nudges my shoulder. "Come on, Pete. Was it Beatrice?" I don't answer and he continues, "Shit, was it Lola?"
I wrinkle my nose with distaste. I don't have a choice. "No, It was Gary."
"Wait, wait, did you and Gary f-"
"No!" I stop him before he can put the image into my mind.
"Oh." He says and unpauses the game, continuing to lap me. "You could've just said so."
I let him win because I don't feel like putting forth the effort, and he moves to select a new venue, somewhere in Tokyo. I fidget with my controller while the loading screen leaves us to face the tension. "Are you guys still fighting?" I ask.
"Fighting? I wouldn't call it that. Attempted murder? Maybe." I can see the tightness in his face. I should leave this alone.
"Are you mad at me for hanging out with him?" Well so much for leaving it alone.
His eyes don't leave the screen. "No Pete, I'm not. You can hang out with whoever you want. Even crazy assholes like Gary."
And like magic, he has been summoned. My room mate walks into the common room and stands directly between Jimmy and the television screen. The stout boy's car is driven into a lake.
"You say such sweet things." He taunts.
Jimmy isn't fazed by him but if looks could kill, I would be in the middle of my room mate's funeral instead of this nightmare.
Gary straightens his posture, standing taller to loom over Jimmy. "Let's go, Femme Boy. If you hang around this neanderthal all night the stupid might rub off on you."
I am stuck in place, stuck between my friends.
"Are you deaf or dumb, Peter?" He says, glaring at me.
Jimmy breaks and says through clenched teeth, "Pete can go where the fuck he wants."
The room is stuck in a stand still and I don't know what to do to appease both sides. So I do nothing. I stare with open eyes at the teens and struggle for some words that aren't coming to me. Jimmy is my friend, like the brother who ignores my existence that I never had, but Gary... Gary has the power to make my life worse, if that's even possible.
I get off the couch, moving towards Gary, only to be yanked closer to him by the arm. "Well would you look at that, Jimmy boy? Guess the little bitch knows who his master is."
I want to tell Gary that he is hurting me. That my head is worse again and I don't like it when he shakes me, but I know it'll only make him squeeze tighter.
"Whatever. Go be psychotic somewhere else." Jimmy spits.
I can feel my room mate's hand constrict harder and I yelp.
Gary leads me back to our dorm. My heart hammers with every step we take towards privacy. I don't want to face his wrath alone.
He opens the door and closes it behind us, letting it click quietly back into place, but this doesn't fool me. Rage is licking the inside of his rib cage like flames and he will burst any minute.
My arm goes numb as he locks the door. There is nowhere for me to run. I'm going to die.
He shoves me and I fall, all useless limbs, landing hard on the floor. I don't let the whimper clawing at my throat escape.
Gary stands over me, shadowed in darkness. "You think I'm a crazy asshole, too?"
I am quick to shake my head in the negative, regretting it almost instantly when my head throbs.
"You sure about that?" He seethes.
I am careful to sound strong. "Yes, Gary."
It's too dark when he runs at me; he is a wild beast coming to rip me apart. I fight him, trying to buck him off of me when he straddles my hips but he is so much bigger than me, and I feel sick rubbing so hard against him. My hands are pinned roughly above my head.
This is too soon, too close. The heat of his thighs on my hips is it's own cage and I consider screaming. I close my eyes, only to replay how Gary's arm tensed, bringing the brick down on townie's face over and over. I hear the crack of my attacker's bone echoing in my ears. I want to curl into myself when his breath ghosts over my neck, his cheek pressed flush with mine, and he whispers, "Do you let Jimmy fuck you?"
He must feel my tears on the side of his face.
"Do you?" He shouts.
My voice is nothing more than air when I say, "No."
Gary is off of me and out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
