Hello. It's Mancer this is our fourth Chappie and the two mains will actually meet the Skulduggery pleasant characters so we have to do a real disclaimer. And also, this is a bit shorter than planned because we are splitting up what Tele wrote as "Chapter Four"
Oh yeah hit that beat (dancing around the room) fourth chappy boom ba doom mehmmm mehmmm boom ba doom fourth chappy let's PARTY!
Shut up, we have to do a real disclaimer you weird banana!
I am NOT a weird banana I am a PROUD CWAZY CUCOMBER and this weird banana thing shall NOT stand!
Yeah, go get em tiger. So anyway a lot of this stuff is Derek's including the world but the plot and like three maybe four characters are ours.
Oh scince this is the fourth chappy can we have SSSSSSnnnnnneverus SSSSSSnnnnape Ssssnnnnelebration party yeah party wopwop PARTY!
This hello message is dedicated the SSSSSSSSnnnnneverus SSSSSnnnnnape The Half Blood Prince! (and to all the nice people who reviewed;).
Thats you, Skelly in a Fez, Deadgirly19, Cubecars (hey Abbs), The Jellyfish Sises, Guest (wonder who dat could be), annnnndddddd I think thats it.
Chappy Four
Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain, and various Sanctuary officials stood on the platform in the sky, waiting for the mansion to appear. The plan was rather ingenious, really. Gordon's Mansion museum was being built by some mages for the Skulduggery tour and, because of the last shunting catastrophe, the Irish Sanctuary was desperate for anywhere to be available and paused the opening of Gordon's Mansion so they could use it as a shunting place for the time being. You see, the Irish Sanctuary had barely any resources since, well, the war, and no-one was willing to help. No other Sanctuaries, no other damned mages. The Irish Sanctuary was one disaster away from the carefully constructed government to come tumbling down. Therefore, desperate measures were taken by the Council of Elders headed by their stunning Grand Mage and the mansion was "borrowed". An official glanced at her watch.
"They're late. Three minutes. Why-" She was cut off as the mansion appeared safely on the landing pad. The small crowd surged forward to greet Aussehen and Prendre. The same official sighed in relief.
"Thank god! Why were you-" But the woman was interrupted again. This time, by something unplanned. Everyone looked up.
"I SWEAR TO LANDY, I WILL USE YOU AS A SHIELD!" Two girls were falling out of the sky.
"DON'T YOU DARE! I WILL MOST DEFINITELY DIE THEN!" The taller one screamed, angry.
"BUT I WON'T! YOU WILL DIE AN HONORABLE DEATH!" The shorter replied.
"I HATE YOU! WHY THE DEREK ARE WE FALLING OUT OF THE SKY? WHAT HAPPENED?"
"WHY WOULD I KNOW? WE ARE GOING TO DIE, YOU IDIOT!" By now, the girls had reached an alarming speed. They both had terrified looks on their faces.
"I KNOW THAT, YOU NORMAL CUCUMBER! BY THE WAY, SHORTY. I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MINION," Tears were running down the taller girl's face. The shorter one sniffled.
"I KNOW, YOU PANSYCAKE," she paused. "I FREAKING LOVE YOU, TOO!" They fell through the sky, sobbing. The girl in the snakeskin pants turned her head, trying to wipe her tears, and saw the group of staring, flabbergasted, mostly, people. She stared at them in disbelief.
"WHY THE HELLO KITTY ARE YOU LOT JUST STANDING THERE LIKE IDIOTS? SAVE US! FREAKIN' SAVE US! HELP ME!" The gathering burst into action. Some flicked their hands out, others still stared, helpless. The girls slammed into an invisible wall and bounced over to the platform, landing unstably. They tried to stand up but bonked their heads together painfully. The two girls slumped back down, groaning. The official who spoke before stepped forward, out of the mob.
"Holy Sherlock mother of Holmes, why are you here? We are only scheduled to have Aussehen's group! Are you two allowed-" A thin man stepped forward, cutting her off with a velvety voice.
"Calm down, Victorya. They just fell out of the sky."
"Nothing can go wrong, Detective! Grand Mage Sorrows will kill me! Or worse, take away my Season Three! Or my Sherlock shirts!" The girl named Victorya panicked. The short girl wobbled to her knees, holding a nasty bruise on her head. She started to talk, slurring her words.
"Hello. People. Thanks for saving us with your magic wind! I'd like to address a few things… One, lady, you are awesome 'cuz you like Sherlock! We do too. Two-" Here the short girl held up three fingers. "That man looks and sounds like Skulduggydoggy! Why? And how did you save us? Are you… MAGIC FACES?" She turned around without an answer and commenced poking her friend and speaking to her. "Girl, get up! Dis da bestest museum ever! It has real magic peeps!" The taller girl looked around groggily. Then she gasped. Again.
"He looks like Skulduggery!" she exclaimed, trying to point at the thin man in the beautifully tailored hat. The man tilted his head.
"Why do you both think I'm-" He paused as the tall girl threw herself at his feet. She put on a puppy voice.
"Please just tell us if you are Valkyrie, I mean, Skulduggery!" He responded by taking off his hat. A skull, gleaming white, was revealed. The girls stared. Everyone was quiet for a moment. Then, the platform of people groaned and ewwed and stepped back in disgust. The short girl looked at the puddle of vomit she had created. She looked sickened.
"I feel terrible," she moaned.
"So do I. It must be a symptom of falling out of the sky," The taller replied. Both of their bruises where they had collided heads were now rainbow and swollen.
"OH MY GOLDEN GOD! LOOK, FATTY! THAT PERSON HAS A SKULL FOR HIS HEAD!" The shorter noticed for the second time. Both girls gaped at the skeleton standing above them.
"It's Skulduggery," whispered the taller one, reverently. But the short one wasn't listening. She had fallen unconscious, the concussion finally catching up to her. Her friend blinked and pointed at a dark-haired woman behind Skulduggery.
"I know who you are! Everyone on the internet and fanfiction sites thinks you should marry Skuldug-" The dark-haired girl looked disgusted.
"Ew! He's a skeleton! And an ugly, egotistical one at that! Who do you even think you are, saying that?" The tall girl grinned.
"Who are we? My friend here is badash, and I? I am awesome," Then, she too fell into a deep, deep, sleep.
I am Mancer the Great! Loved by all! Who's beauty, wiseness, and power is known throughout the entire land!
Idiot. Well, while she rants, I will get started. We have decided to do a see ya message after every chappy, to keep you laughing into night. Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy! Every time you get yelled at for waking up your family in the middle of the night, you can thank us. We have a very important question, should we have NO SPOILERS! This isn't a spoiler it is a question, yeesh.
Could it in ANY way be considered a spoiler?
NO, just trust me!
Sounds fishy to me. Has it been approved by a lawyer?
If you consider me a lawyer, then yes, yes it has.
No, I don't. You aren't smarticles enough.
If I am not SMART enough, then where does that leave you?
One, in Algebra, a math WAY more advanced than yours. And two, on a rainbow covered cloud inhabited by super nice, fuzzy, declawed kittens who are unexposed to chainsaws or other weapons or meanness.
Jokes on you I am riding a unicorn through the Forbidden Forest.
THE BEASTS WILL CATCH YOU, GET OUT!
Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaa? Oh peeps, please give your opinions on ships. Choose the Titanic, and Sexter. I need to persuade Mancer on this.
NEVER, Saracen is a player!
Sexter, Sexter, Sexter, Sexter, come on sing it with ME. SEXTER, SEXTER, SEXTER!
NO! DA PLAYERS GONNA PLAY, PLAY, PLAY! AND I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE!
Stop quoting songs.
I COULD KISS MYSELF, I'M SO PRETTY!
Seriously, stop.
UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP! UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP! UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP! Come on Tele! Sing it with me!
No
…
…
IT'S TOO CATCHY! UPTOWN FUNK YOU UP! I'M TOO HOT,OH OH I AM
CALLED A POLICE AND A FIREMAN
I'M TOO HOT, OH OH I AM
MAKE A DRAGON WANNA RETIRE, MAN
*continue singing*
P.S. Look up Uptown Funk 'cuz we're addicted.
