IV

Tara was released from hospital the next morning, after the doctors were satisfied that she would suffer no physical after-effects from the miscarriage. Well, they'd called it a miscarriage. At six months pregnant, it hadn't felt that way to Tara, who had previously associated the word with losing a baby you'd barely begun to carry. Not to imply that that was a lesser tragedy to endure, but Tara had felt this baby kick, move within her, started to get an idea of the personality it would develop, begun to visualise what it would be like when it was born. To lose it in such a way… Tara had endured many losses in her family, her friends, but this was something else. This was a life she'd carried within her own body, vowed to protect and yet there had been nothing she could do.

Why had the djinn given her this life only to have it ripped away from her again?

She'd taken the leaflets the nurse had given her about counselling, and then dumped them in the bin as soon as she got back to the house she and Dylan shared. She didn't want to sit and talk to some stranger about how this made her feel. She wanted to hunt down and kill the sonofabitch that had put her in this position in the first place. It had given her back Mary, and she supposed she should still be thankful for that.

But it wasn't enough.

Just a day earlier, Tara would have felt differently. Now, she sat in bed and she read through the book she'd 'borrowed' from Professor Asanteman, the computer next to her. There wasn't much to go on, but it seemed she'd been right about the silver knife, dipped in lamb's blood. Well, she didn't have her usual arsenal, but she had a silver knife, part of the silverware she and Dylan had been given as an engagement present from his mother. The lamb's blood should be easy enough to get hold of, if she could only lose her fiancée long enough to run to the butcher's shop.

It was understandable that he would want to be with her now, but she didn't want him there. Had had enough of the hushed, worried conversations she'd half-overheard between him and her mother.

Physically, she had almost recovered – apart from killer stomach cramps that bent her in half whenever they hit, they were a bitch – and she was confident that soon enough, she'd be in good enough shape to take on the djinn. She didn't care how powerful it was. It was toast.

It would have been easier if she didn't have to be on her own. But tough. She was alone, and wallowing wasn't going to help.

So she put a plan together. She waited until Mary went home, then sent Dylan out on a pointless errand, asking him to fetch her ice-cream, like she was a little girl home sick, asking for a treat. As soon as he was gone, she stalked through the house, sorting through the silverware until she found a knife that should do the job, putting together an elementary weapons bag. She dressed with cold deliberation, ignoring any lasting cramps, putting aside the maternity jeans in favour of an old pair, teamed with heavy boots and a shirt she could now button with no trouble whatsoever.

Just as she was finishing her preparation, there was a knock at the door.

Tara felt a flash of irritation at this interruption. It couldn't be Dylan, or Mary, as they both had keys, so who else would be calling?

She opened the door, preparing to tell whoever it was to get lost – and was completely taken aback to see Alex standing on her doorstep.

Alex did not look comfortable to be there; indeed, she was clearly bottling up the anger she had held for a long time. But she was Tara's sister, and despite everything that had apparently happened between them, she had gotten on a plane and flown out to see her when she'd heard what had happened.

For a moment, neither sister moved. Then Tara stepped forward, and put her arms around Alex. Lexie stiffened momentarily, then accepted the hug.

Tara knew this wasn't the sister she knew, but it was as close as she was going to get. That would have to do.

Finally, she let go.

"Did Mom call you?"

Alex nodded.

"So did Dylan."

That surprised Tara, almost as much as the fact Alex had come to see her.

"Just for the record," Alex continued. "I'm still really mad at both of you. But – what happened. I'm sorry, Tara."

"Me too."

There was an awkward silence.

"What's with the silverware?" Alex asked, brow furrowing as she took in the knife still in Tara's hand. Tara hadn't noticed she still had it.

"You don't want to know."

"You have a bag packed. Are you – are you going somewhere?"

Damn Lexie and her eyes that never missed a thing.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Tara."

The anger was surfacing in Alex's voice now.

"I just got on a plane and flew in from California to see you, because I thought you might want to see me. Mom and your fiancé thought that'd be the case, so I don't want to hear your bullshit."

"I'm glad to see you. Really I am. But… there's something I have to do and it's best if you don't know what it is."

"Why?"

"Because you'd probably try and stop me."

Tara picked up her bag and tried to brush past her sister, but was seized by a cramp that felt like it was trying to cut her in half.

Alex caught hold of Tara's arm, holding her up.

"Woah! You sure you should be out of bed?"

"I'm fine," was Tara's terse reply.

"Well, plainly you're not. Come on, T, if there's somewhere you have to be, then I'm coming with you."

Tara noted her sister's abbreviated use of her name, and that weakened her resolve.

"No. I can't ask you to do that. It could be – dangerous. You could get hurt."

Alex met her eyes.

"What, and you think telling me that means I'd let you go off on your own? Tara, you just lost a baby. I don't know what that does to a person, but I know you're not in any fit state to run off doing god know what."

Tara slumped against the doorframe, suddenly feeling all her resistance drain away.

"Ok, fine. But we're taking your car, and I'm driving."

Thankfully, Alex didn't argue any further.

They got a few miles out of Lawrence, then Alex couldn't hold it in any longer.

"So… what the hell is all this? And don't think I didn't notice you didn't tell Mom or Dylan you were leaving."

"It's not like that. I – wanted to protect them. I should be doing this alone; you shouldn't be here, Lex."

"Well, here I am. So, tough. Now what's going on?"

Tara sighed.

"Just a minute. I have to make a stop."

She pulled the rental car over and went into the butcher's, leaving Alex sitting, confused, in the car.

"What the hell is that?" she asked, as Tara got back in, holding a brown paper bag.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yeah, nothing. "

This time it was Alex's turn to sigh.

"Tara…"

She reached out and took it from her sister.

"Lex, you don't wanna do that."

Alex opened the bag, and recoiled in disgust at what she found inside.

"What the hell, Tara? Why on earth would you need a jar of blood?"

The look she gave Tara said quite clearly that she thought her sister had lost her mind.

"Like I said, you don't really wanna know.

"Uh, as of right now, I do really wanna know. I really, really do."

Tara gave up.

"Okay, you asked, so I'm telling you. I need lamb's blood to anoint a silver knife so I can use it to kill a djinn."

Silence filled the car. A huge silence, crammed with the potential to turn just about any way.

"Okay," Alex said slowly.

"And what exactly does any of what you just said mean?"

"Exactly how it sounds."

"Well, it sounds completely crazy!"

"And it is. But that doesn't stop it from being right."

Alex turned this over in her mind.

"Tara, have you considered that you may be having a breakdown? And I mean that in all seriousness."

"It's for real, Lex. There are things out there in the dark. Bad things, nightmare things. And people have to be saved, and if I don't save them, nobody will. Right now, there isn't anybody else."

"Let me call Mom. Or Dylan. You need help, Tara. Really."

"I'm sure I do. But there isn't anyone who can help me. Maybe you could, if you weren't who you're supposed to be."

"Tara, this makes no sense. You must see that."

"Uh huh. But it's still the truth."

Silence fell once more.

"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone, Tara. I'm staying with you."

Tara kept her eyes on the road, not wanting to see the expression on her sister's face.

"Why would you do something like that?" she asked.

"Because, in spite of everything, you're still my sister."

It was a very long drive, and Tara thought she'd struggle to keep awake, having barely slept in the last few days. But it was Alex who dropped off, staying asleep until they reached their destination. Tara was hoping that, despite everything else that had changed, the djinn hadn't moved on, and it seemed she was right. Leaving her sister sleeping in the passenger seat, she crept around the building, noticing the same signs she'd seen the last time she'd been there. So she went back to the car to retrieve her weapon.

Alex stirred, coming around to the frankly disturbing sight of her sister liberally coating the blade of the silver knife in blood.

"You really are serious about this, aren't you?"

"All my life, I was never more serious."

Alex met her sister's eyes and saw that was the truth.

"And this… thing you're after. It's in there?"

She nodded at the almost derelict building, looming out of the darkness.

Tara nodded.

"Okay then."

The sisters went inside, Tara leading the way with cold determination.

Alex forced down her fear. Whether any of this was real, or all in Tara's head… well, she had to do this. To be there. Tara had betrayed her, in one of the worst ways a sister could, but the ties between them went way back, long before Dylan had come along. And, if nothing else, she owed it to Mom to look after Tara.

The first room was mostly empty, except for some scattered junk.

"Tara, are you sure this is the place?"

"Shh."

Tara stopped, holding up a hand.

Alex strained her ears, finally hearing a faint crying

"What – what's that?"

"Little sister. Stay behind me and keep your mouth shut."

Alex had never seen Tara look that way. Could quite happily have gone all her life never seeing that. The same went for creeping around abandoned factories at midnight, and it only got worse.

The next room didn't reveal who they could hear crying, but, to Alex's utter horror, held three bodies. They were strung up by their wrists, lined up like this was a slaughterhouse and they were clearly dead.

It took all she had not to cry out, closely followed by a strong urge to throw up.

Tara, conversely, didn't seem as much as surprised. Almost as if she'd been expecting to find them there.

The next room, smaller than the previous, held another body, but this one wasn't dead and this time, Tara did react.

"So that's who you are. Why were you haunting me?"

It was a girl, Alex could see that much, despite the layers of dirt and dried blood. To add to her sense of overwhelming horror and disgust, she could see some kind of IV line running from the girl's neck, slowly draining her blood into a bag and the need to vomit increased. Alex put her hands over her mouth, keeping it together by a thread.

Tara, reacting to something Alex couldn't hear, grabbed her and pulled her back into a corner, hiding the two of them just in time, as another figure came into the room.

It was tall, hairless, covered in weird tattoos and emanating from it was a sense of evil like Alex had never felt before. Any doubts she'd had about what Tara had said evaporated as the thing approached the girl, who was still crying softly.

"Please, where's my dad? Please, no…don't...where's my dad?"

Alex's first impulse was to run out and grab the thing, save the girl, but Tara, perhaps sensing this, held a tight grip on her arm, keeping her hidden.

"Shh," said the thing. "Sleep…sleep."

It ran a hand over the girl's face, eyes glowing a weird electric blue, and the girl slumped into unconsciousness once more.

To Alex's ever increasing horror, the thing lifted one end of the IV line up to its mouth and proceeded to drink her blood and she just couldn't keep it in anymore.

It was just a small cry, but Tara clapped a hand over Alex's mouth and the thing didn't seem to hear. Finished its meal and went back out.

Tara waited until she heard its footsteps go up the stairs, before letting Alex go. She walked over to the girl, thoughts colliding with each other as she put the pieces together.

"She didn't know where she was. She thought she was with her father. What… what if that's what the Djinn does? It doesn't grant you a wish, it just makes you think it has."

Alex didn't understand what the hell Tara was talking about, but she could recognise clear and present danger when she saw it.

"Tara, come on. That thing, it could come back. Please?

But Tara wasn't listening.

"I wanted this to be real, at first. Wanted it so bad. Mom was alive, and I thought, okay. Everything else would fall into place, sooner or later. But now… none of this is real, is it?"

"Tara, you're scaring me. And we're stood in a room of corpses killed by something out of a horror film. Please, come on!"

"She's not dead though. The djinn was keeping her alive, and dreaming. So what if…

what if all this is in my head? I mean…maybe it gives us some kind of supernatural acid and then just feeds on us, slow."

"Tara, an hour ago I would've said that makes no sense. Now, I just want to get the hell out of here, before we end up like her."

"I think it's too late for that, Lexie. I already am. And you know what? I don't think even you're real."

"Tara, please. Okay, so you're right about the whole evil thing, I get it. But this is real, I'm real. Now if we don't shift, we will be dead, okay?"

But Tara didn't budge.

"There's one way to be sure, Lexie."

She lifted the blood-coated knife, staring at it as if entranced and Alex got even more scared.

"Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

"You ever hear that old wives' tale, about how if you die in a dream, you wake up?"

"Tara, no! Come on, we'll call the cops. They can come and rescue the girl, stop that thing. But this is crazy! You're gonna kill yourself?"

Tara shrugged.

"Maybe. Or maybe this is the only way out. I'm gonna wake up - one or the other."

"Look…this isn't a dream, alright? I am here with you now, and you are about to kill yourself!"

"No, I'm pretty sure. Sure enough, anyway."

She turned the blade so it pointed towards her. It hovered briefly over her stomach, then Tara lifted it level with her heart.

Alex had her hands stretched out towards her sister, utter panic on her face.

"Wait!"

Movement caught Tara's eye once more, and she saw, stood in the corner of the room, her mother. The room flickered, shifted and Dylan was there too.

Alex dropped her hands back down, her expression changing to one Tara recognised all too well; pissed off.

"You're pretty smart, aren't you big sister? Figured it all out."

"You couldn't have left well enough alone?" Dylan added. "You could've been happy."

"With my sister's dead boyfriend?" Tara spat, real anger rising now she knew none of this was real.

"Put the knife down, honey," Mary tried, but Tara wouldn't look at her.

"You're not my mom. You're not Dylan, and you're not my sister."

Alex's expression changed again, her eyes glittering with malice.

"No, I'm not. But you believed it. You wanted to, and so you did."

"I wanted my mom back. I wanted to try out having a real life, away from hunting, yes. But the rest of it? Where the hell did that come from?"

Alex – or whatever it was wearing Alex's appearance – reached out and stroked down the side of Tara's face.

"You're so easy to read. What you want and what you're afraid of, right there on the surface. Your jealousy of your sister, your fear of losing her, hurting her. Being responsible for another human life – it's too much isn't it?"

Tara's spare hand found its way to her belly, landing where the baby had been.

"Why?"

The malice sparked, electric blue like that of the djinn.

"When I get me a Hunter, you think I just let them dream nice, warm, safe dreams like everybody else? No. I tailor your dreams extra special."

Fury came flooding in. She'd started to believe it was real. She'd begun to want that baby, and losing it had been like, well, like losing another family member. The djinn had given her back her mother, only to take her again, it had given her a child, only to snatch that away too. But maybe, just maybe, in separating her from her sister in her dream, that had been enough. Without Alex, she was on her own, and that meant what did she have to lose?

"Screw you."

Tara raised the knife again. Held her breath, and stabbed.


"Tara! Tara!"

Tara heard her sister calling from what felt like a million miles away. She was aware, gradually, that she was no longer dreaming. Her wrists hurt. Her head hurt.

And then there Alex was, the real Alex, right in front of her, shaking her.

"Come on, idiot, wake up!"

"lexie?"

"Tara, oh thank god! Come on, wake up!"

Alex carefully pulled the needle from Tara's neck and started trying to cut through the ropes holding her, using Tara's own silver knife.

"I thought I lost you there."

Tara shook her head, which still hurt a lot.

"You almost did. How d'you find me?"

Alex looked shifty.

"I, uh, had a feeling you were in trouble. You didn't answer your cell, so…"

Weak as she was, Tara couldn't help herself.

"You being psychic girl again, huh?"

"Don't knock it, sis. Saved your ass, huh?"

Tara saw movement behind Alex and realisation shook off the last of whatever it was the djinn had done to her.

"Alex!"

Alex slashed through the last of Tara's bonds, whirling round to confront the djinn, who was advancing on the sisters, hissing with malevolence.

Tara's legs gave way; after who knows how long she'd been strung up, she was in bad shape. But she couldn't give in now. Not after what this thing had done to her.

Lexie was giving as good as she got, but this thing was powerful, Tara remembered that, and it threw her sister across the room, crashing into a pile of empty crates.

Lexie didn't get back up, and Tara drew on every reserve of strength she had.

The blood on the blade wasn't so fresh anymore, but it was a silver knife nonetheless, and when she had to, Tara Winchester could move real fast.

The blade slammed into the djinn's chest, the two of them falling down.

Tara pinned the dying creature to the ground, yanking the knife back out.

"You… you shouldn't have done that. You made me care about that baby. I felt it. And then you took it away. You deserve so much worse than this."

She raised the knife once more, stabbing the djinn again, and again, and again.

There was a final spark of blue that ran through its whole body; the djinn convulsed, and then it died.

Tara got unsteadily to her feet, her green eyes cold and hard.

Somehow, that didn't seem enough.

Tara spat on the corpse at her feet.

"I hope you rot in hell, you son of a bitch."

She limped over to Alex, who was stirring, hoping that Tara hadn't noticed that, although stunned, she'd been conscious the whole time, had heard everything Tara had said.

Without a word, she let Tara help her to her feet, and they went back to the other girl, who was very still.

Tara reached out, and saw a tear spill down the girl's face.

"She's still alive. Help me get her down."

Alex took the knife from Tara's hand, and started to cut the girl's ropes.

The girl stirred as Tara removed the needle and IV, starting to cry once more.

"Shh. It's okay, I got you. We're gonna get you out of here, okay? I've got you…I've got you."

Much later, holed up in yet another motel room, Alex called the hospital.

"Okay. Thank you so much for the update. Okay, bye."

She hung up, a relieved expression on her face.

"The girl's been stabilized. There's a good chance she'll pull through," she told Tara.

Her sister was sat on the bed, turning her silver ring over and over in her hand like she was rehearsing a magician's trick.

"That's good."

And Alex went right back to being worried again, at Tara's listless tone.

"So… how about you? You alright?"

There was a pause.

"Yeah, I'm alright."

Alex struggled with herself, wanting to ask Tara about what she'd overheard, but Tara continued.

"You should've seen it, Lex. Our lives, if Mom never died and we never grew up hunting."

"That's what the djinn does, then? Feeds you this perfect fantasy while it feeds on you?"

Tara shook her head.

"No, no perfect anything. It wasn't even a wish, really. I mean, I wanted Mom back, and it read that in my mind. But it knew I was a Hunter, so I got the twisted version. I don't know, maybe it keeps up some kind of link with its prey while we're dreaming and it wanted to keep screwing with me."

"But… it wasn't real, Tara. And you dug yourself out, in the end."

"Sure as hell felt real, while I was there."

"It's dead now, Tara. And we know how they operate now, how to kill them, if we meet any more. You… you won't have to go through that again."

Tara shook her head, not disagreeing but as if shaking something off and she got up, slipping the ring back on her finger.

"At least it wasn't you. You've been through enough, Lexie, and I'm sorry. For everything I said. If – if I really could get a wish, you know it'd be to keep you safe, right?"

"Tara-" Alex began, uncomfortable, but Tara ran right over her.

"No, Lexie, I mean it. You're family, you're all I got left. I wouldn't ever mean to hurt you, and I'd do anything for you. I need you to know that, no matter what other crap I might come out with."

"I do know that. And just 'cos I still think about what I could've had, what might have been… it doesn't mean I don't know what you do for me already."

Alex knew she could well regret not pursuing what had happened to Tara within her dream, trying to understand what she'd been through, but she also knew that if Tara didn't want to talk about something, then wild horses couldn't drag it out of her. There'd be time enough. And in the meantime, well, they were family. They stuck by one another. Somehow, it'd work itself out.

Tara pushed her hands through her hair,

"Alright, enough emoting. I need a beer. Seems like forever since I had one."

"Sure. Let's go."


Final Disclaimer: Again, none of this is really mine, but anything you don't recognise, I'm claiming as mine!