Chapter 4

Arizona's POV

I promised myself not to give in to Eliza Minnick again, but somehow, I ended up sitting in a booth facing her. Something in her pleading eyes told me that I needed to listen to her. Maybe I'm just fooling myself to be close to her, but my need to know why she left increased tenfold when she said she was already in Seattle before Jake came in to the hospital. Now I desperately need to know why. Maybe it gives me a little hope? No, Robbins, get a grip.

"So, are you going to talk or are you going to keep staring at me all night?" I start trying to get her to speak.

"No, I'm sorry, it's just… I don't know how to start". She drops her gaze clearly nervous.

"How about you start by explaining what you meant when you said you were here before Jake came in?" I can't help but use a sarcastic tone when talking to her. What she did to me has broken my heart and I can't find ways to express that but by hurting her back.

"I've been here for three days. I was settling down in Seattle when I received a phone call from his parents."

"Settling down?" I scoff. "Why have you landed a new job somewhere here?" I ask not taking what she said very seriously.

"No, Arizona" she answers softly. She takes a deep breath and looks me straight in the eyes. "I'm here for other reasons".

"Why are you here Eliza?" I ask curiosity taking the best of me.

"For you. I'm here for you Arizona…"

My heart stops for a few seconds, and I have to remind myself to breathe. Don't fall for her trap again. Don't you dare Robbins!

"You're funny you know that?" I ask incredulously. "So, you left three months ago, without a single word, not even a freaking message, and now you want me to believe that you're back for me just like that?" I laugh out loud.

"Yes Arizona, I know you don't trust anymore, and I know what I'm saying sounds ridiculous to you, but I'm back, and I'm back for good."

I shake my head really trying to understand what she's saying. "Let me ask you a question then" she nods her head resting her arms on the table in front of us. "Suppose what you're saying is true, and I highly doubt it by the way, why leave in the first place, huh? What's the point then?"

She releases a deep breath and straightens herself as if she's preparing herself for something really important. "Look, you deserve to know everything. And I will tell you every single detail since the day I left, but I need you not to react to what you're about to hear, okay?"

I furrow my brow desperately trying to guess what she's talking about. "Yeah, sure".

"Arizona, I'm serious, I know I don't deserve it but you have to promise me not to do anything…"

"Jeez, fine fine, I promise just get on with it…." I'm seriously worried right now.

"you have to know, that I haven't had a good night of sleep since the day I left here. Since the day I left you…it was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life Arizona, and I swear I'd do anything to go back in time and slap myself for running away."

"Running away, huh?" I swallow a gulp in my throat as I remember her empty apartment. "I was that bad then? You needed to run away from me?" I ask tears gathering in my eyes.

"No! no!..." she grabs my hand, the feeling of her skin shooting electricity through my body, but I quickly pull away
She looks down at her empty hand and continues in a sad tone. "Arizona, the things that were said to me the day Bailey fired me destroyed me. The attendings were already lining up against me and after the explosion, they all blamed me for what happened to Stephanie…."

"But I was there for you! I could have been there for you if you let me!" I cut her off frustration all over my face.

"Arizona, please let me continue…."

I sigh angrily, "fine…."

"After Bailey fired me and accused me of being a robot…." I furrow my brow, why did Bailey say that? But I don't interrupt her anymore because I need to listen to the whole story. "all I could think about when I was in that meeting was you. I kept saying to myself, it's okay, I have you, even if I lost my job, I still have you and that was all that mattered." I try to say something, but she raises her hand to stop me.

"I have to admit that deep inside, I was scared of your reaction too. What if the others convinced you too that Stephanie's situation was all on me? But I was saving patients Arizona, I was doing my job!" she states clearly angry with the whole situation.

"I know…Eliza, I know that…" and I really do, none of that was her fault. She smiles softly appreciating my honesty and continues.
"Even with that doubt in my mind, I was planning to go to you, and talk it out with you. But then as I was just about to leave the room after being humiliated and fired, Webber asked to talk to me…."
What? Why would Richard want to talk to her?
"We went to a conference room and he started lecturing me about how you don't need an emotionless person in your life. He said some horrible things to me…"

"What?!" my jaw dropping to the floor. "Richard said that to you?! B-but why?"

She nods her head a few tears running down her cheeks. "He said you've had enough pain in your life, and that you deserved someone better than me. Someone who has feelings. It destroyed me Arizona. All hope of being with you vanished as he kept on saying these things."
I rest my back against the booth trying so hard to understand why Richard Webber would do that to me. I mean I know he wasn't so happy with my relationship with Eliza, but I was! Isn't that what matters? How does he think he has the right to talk to her like that?

"But you left regardless of all of that Eliza. I just…I'm trying so hard to understand Richard's reasons, and I know, I know, that wasn't fair to you. It wasn't even true…." I look at her my heart softening a little for seeing her so vulnerable and hurt. "You should've told me…we could've solved it together. But you left me Eliza. You just left. Do you know how broken I was when I went to your apartment to find you gone? It hurt like hell."

"I know, and I'm so so sorry Arizona. I should have stayed. I should have talked to you, but… I was scared. I was scared you'd hate me too after losing my job. I felt useless. I felt like I didn't deserve you. What Webber said made me believe that I'm no good for you. I'm usually a strong person, but everything happened so fast and I crumbled…"

"Can I ask you something?" I ask softly.

"Anything…." She breathes out a little bit relieved to see me calmer than before.

"Why did you decide to come back?" I ask a hint of hope in my voice.

"Arizona, I'm here to get a job close to you. And I know you probably hate me, but I can't stay away from you anymore. If I have to spend my life showing you how sorry I am, I will. I went away and my life stopped for three months. I barely ate, I barely slept, all I could think about was you…I know I'm a good person Arizona. They don't see that but I am. I have feelings. I have feelings for you…. If I have to beg Bailey to give me a job here I will, and that's why I've been here for three days already."

"You're going back to Grey Sloan? Why?" I ask confused.
"Because I want to be next to you…. those three months taught me that work is not everything. If I have to stop my teaching career to take an ortho surgeon position next to you I will"

"What? You'd do that?! For me….?"

"I would Arizona…hell I'd work in a coffee shop if it means I'm close to you…"
I have nothing to say right now. Am I still angry she left? Definitely. But I have to admit that can't blame all of it on her alone. Hearing what was said to her could make anyone run away. I just wish she talked to me.
Eliza sits straight again and takes my hands in her own, only this time I don't pull away. I can't pull away…

"Arizona…look at me" she says almost in a whisper. When I do, tears escape my eyes and I can't hold back anymore. She lifts her hand and runs her thumb over my cheek to stop their flow. "I know how hurt you are, and I understand that. But I'm here. For you. I'm never leaving again. Arizona Robbins…. I am so in love with you that I couldn't breathe when you weren't there…. I love you. And if I have to wait for years for you to love me back, I will…"

I gasp, trying to stop my heart from beating out of my chest. Eliza Minnick is here. And she loves me. But can I trust her again? I have so many contradicting feelings going through me, but I know that the grip she has on my hands feels like home…
"Give me a chance to prove myself to you. I don't care about anyone's opinion anymore. I'm a good person and I love you and that's all I care about. We'll take things slow if you want, just…please…give me a chance" it's her turn to wipe tears running down her face.

I look at her, honesty shining from her tired eyes, and I open my mouth to say something to her when my cell vibrates on the table between us. She drops her head clearly disappointed.
I furrow my brow when I see it's Sofia's babysitter who's calling, worry settling within me.

"Hello? Sally is everything okay?" I ask quickly.

"Um… Dr. Robbins, I'm sorry to interrupt…"

"Sally why is Sofia crying?"

"She was running down the stairs and she fell down…I think she broke her shoulder."

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