AN: a new chapter is here! I made a small change to the first chapter - it was of course Colin that got his knee hurt, not Robert. Sorry for that.

She wakes up early on Monday from a sofa, with a hit to her head, as Lane's kids are playing living room ice hockey using a teddy bear and some drum sticks. She gets up and leaves for work. She decides to keep busy. It's the best cure for a heartbreak, they say, all the glossy magazines women turn advice to. Coffee to go from Luke's, the short walk to Gazette, some furious typing, a quick trip to Dooses´s for some lunch and back to work. She calls Emily and moves to the Hartford house, as they are still not talking with her mom.

Days drag. A routine forms. Work, get home, wallow, sleep.

After work she usually gets a takeaway dinner and then works on her book (the early years) until she is too tired to sit up. Some other nights she watches a Buffy marathon in full wallow like a Gilmore style. Around 11pm she is ready - a short shower, brushing of teeth and then to bed. It´s dark, and she is finally still and quiet and then it hits her. She has lost him for good. To avoid thinking about the same things over and over again she writes down a note. "He wanted to move on. You should too". She reads it every time a "what if" crosses her mind. Which is often. She repeats the Scarlet O'Hara mantra in her mind until she drifts to uneasy sleep. "I'll think about it tomorrow".

She tries her very best to let go, but is unaware of a tiny someone else fighting to hold on. While she tears her heart to pieces and cuts all the strings and ties to him, new stronger ties are being created just a foot or two below her heart.

See feels more lonely than ever. So she does what a child does at times of distress – goes home in the middle of the night. She has a mid night snack with mom and she gives her mum the first chapters of her story to read. Anxious for acceptance, Rory asks Lorelai to read it and give her blessing or else she won't finish it. She can't cope with living alone now, so she returns home and gives up.

Three weeks later she is having a rare brunch with Lane. It's Wednesday, three days before her mother's wedding. Lane's kids and Zach are out, and the two life long friends have time for a talk. She doesn't want to talk a lot, but luckily Lane hasn't been out much and needs to vent about Zack's dirty socks on the floor and the kid's constant fighting. Lane tells her about the "oh shit I forgot" in the bedroom and the relief afterwards when there weren't any consequences. And suddenly she can't breath. She is late, at least a week late. She excuses herself and runs to her car. She drives all the way to Hartford to a pharmacy and buys 3 different sets of tests.

She gets home without anyone noticing, turns right and locks the bathroom door. With shaky hands she tears open a foil packet, takes the strip and a disposable plastic cup and pees in it. Dips the strip in and sits down. 3 minutes. That's enough time to turn ones life upside down. The lines form well before the time is up.

She manages to get into her room and falls down to the bed. "This can't be happening!" She feels like she is not in her own body, she hears Luke and Lorelai talk in the living room but can't concentrate to their words. "It could be a fake positive, right?", she thinks and isn't sure wether she should be relieved or disappointed. She paces around the room and tries to think.

She finally decides she needs to call a doctor. She picks up the phone and makes the call and takes a long breath before the nurse answers. "Woodland Women's Health Associates, how can I help you?", a nurse answers and she just can't say the words. Probably the nurse is accustomed to people shying away as she repeats the question with more warmth to it. "Oh hey, eh I may need to see a doctor. It seems that I'm a bit late and eh I took a test and it's positive but surely it's a false alarm right, it happens doesn't it? So maybe I just came and see that I'm not", she rambles quietly, trying to not let the others know. "Hey, there is a cancellation, could you make it already today? You sound like you need to talk about this? Would it be possible to come right now?", the nurse replies with empathetic voice. "Yes, I`m free today", she answers. "So I'll book you for today at three, yes?" "Thats fine, three o'clock, bye!", Rory replies nodding and tosses the phone into her purse.

She can't slip out since Lorelai and Luke are in the living room making some last minute decisions about the wedding. She excuses herself and runs to her car. She almost forgets her purse on her way out, since the only thing she has on her mind is to get to the doctor as fast as possible and have a confirmation to the false alarm and get this over with. Her mom rambles something odd about Sutherland but she just can't listen.

Two hours later she sits on a bench in a park. Her phone is in her hand and she can't stop reading old texts from Logan. She almost presses 'call' on his name but finally decides otherwise. She scrolls up and makes a call. There is a talk she has wanted to have for years and she knows that the talk must happen before the word is out about her pregnancy.

"Hey dad, it's Rory"
"Well hey Kiddo, what's up?"
"I'm just in the neighborhood and thought I could pay you a visit, are you free to see me?"
"Sure thing, I'm actually still at the office. You could stop by right now? "
"OK, I'll be there in few minutes"
"Great, it'll be good to see you!"
"Bye then"
"Bye"

She enters her dad's office simultaneously with Chris, who had run to pick up some coffee from a Deli. They greet a bit awkwardly and walk to his office.

"Coffee here sucks. I had to go three blocks to get this." Always the best for his little girl. "This is the biggest size they had, huh?" she asks, raising the cup. "It's good to see you, kiddo", Chris answers.

"Thanks for squeezing me in…", she says. "I always have time for you", Chris answers and she almost snorts. "Yeah right", Rory thinks, but doesn't say anything aloud. "So, new office?", she asks, looking around in the large room. "Yes, the cave", Chris says waving his hand. "The cave?", she asks, since it doesn't look like a cave with big windows and light walls. "I call it the cave 'cause I caved. I'm working in the family biz." Chris explains. "It looks good on you. New suit, sitting behind that desk" Rory says, trying to enlighten the atmosphere. "Knife to the heart, kid. Knife to the heart." Family business was never Chris's first choice and Rory knows that. She asks a few questions about her half sister and Chris's current spouse and Chris asks about how she is doing. She is upset, sad and lost and hasn't got a clue what to answer. "Me? I'm five by five." "What?" Chris is just as lost as she is. "Oh uh, sorry, it's, uh I was watching a Buffy marathon and some things stick." She tries to lead the conversation to someone else than herself. It's too early for serious stuff.

She walks to the other end of the room. The big windows somehow remind her of the windows at the Inn. She tells him about Lorelais wedding and kind of asks him to stay away. Every time Lorelai has gotten her life in order, Chris has found his way back to them and things have fallen apart. Rory doesn't want that to happen this time. But Chris doesn't let her derail him for too long.

She sits back down and he goes with the direct question, something that works with both Gilmore girls actually. He asks about how she is really doing and she explains to him about "journalism really not panning out" and about her plans to write a book, and almost snorts when he asks if she needed money. "I may have more than I can use in a lifetime." She tells her briefly about the book and finally has the confidence to ask the question she came here to ask. "How did you feel about Mom raising me alone?" She blunts out the question that has been bugging her since she was a kid. He doesn't really answer, somehow he makes it be about Lorelai and not about Chris. He says he wasn't consulted, that Lorelai did what she wanted. They were so young and Lorelai so sure about herself, he reminds her. There was nothing he could do, it was how it was supposed to be and plaah plaah plaah. After a while she notices him glancing his computer nervously and excuses herself. Her father has always better things to do.