I texted Demi when i got home from my managers'. She obviously didn't like that considering she didn't text me back. I know I did not help the conversation going, but i didn't know what else to put. I know she's mad at me. She's Been mad since before she went into rehab.

Sh never let me explain what happened. I mean it probably wouldn't fix us now but it may help. I did try once to tell her. She was already in rehab, she was in there for awhile. I remember being so scared but excited. All i wanted was to hear her voice, but when she answered it wasn't my Demi on the phone. She sounded so different. Honestly i have no clue what they did to her in there but i do know when i called her and told her it was me her voice never changed. It was completely monotone as if talking to a robot.

When i tried to explain myself to her all she would say was how it didn't matter .that nothing mattered. She must have been on a different medicine or something, but i couldn't take it. I let her and honestly i don't know if she remembers that. We haven't talked about it since.

Now i don't know if telling her on the tour would be a god thing or if leaving her alone and pretending we didn't share a bus would be better. I'll have to play it by ear. I only want what's best for ehr.

I decide sitting home alone isn't the best thing for me. I call up taylor and have her come over. Taylor make it my house and brings over food as well. Taylor has been there for me when everything happened with Demi and i thank her for that. Sometimes i think she gets a little jealous when i talk about Demi. That doesn't stop me from telling her everything that happened.

"Sel, I think it's best if you keep your distance," Taylor says between bites of chow mein.

I don't know if i'll be able to do that. Taylors also only saying that because she doesn't want me and Demi to be close again. I know that may sound bad, but i do know taylor doesn't have anyone else so she's scared.