A/N: Sorry it took so long, I have been busy and distracted lately. I promise I will be back on track very soon though so pleas just bear with me.

Disclaimer: Twilight = Not Mine

Ch. 4

The red glow from my alarm clock read 4:00 AM, you've got to be kidding me, I groaned. Sam said it would be better if I knew but I don't see how. Hearing all that stuff about her brought out the greatest rage I have ever felt since I first phased. By the time Emily had finished talking I was shaking uncontrollably, I would have phased right there in the house if it wasn't for Sam.

His inhuman strength managed to help him get me into the backyard just before the wolf took it's full form. The backyard wasn't as lucky as the house to avoid destruction. In a matter of seconds Emily's poor patio furniture was reduced to nothing but rubble. My claws fiercely shredding anything that got in my way. I ran full speed and with all the strength I had into an old willow tree, Emily's favorite, and sent it smashing to the forest floor. My blood was boiling as a murderous rage seethed through my veins.

I was momentarily distracted, my anger fighting with it's self over what to destroy next, so Sam took his oppertunaity. He lunged at me, catching me off gaurd and tackled me to the ground. At that moment I didn't care that he was my best friend or my leader, all I cared about was the he was in front of me. That I need to make someone else feel the hurt that I felt. So I fought him, for the first time in my life I attacked Sam back.

His whole weight was pressed on me, stopping me from getting up, but I still had my paws. I lashed out at his shoulders, his face, his chest, I could hear his skin shredding but it didn't stop me. There was only one thing that could stop me at that point, Sam's orders, and they did. Of course I tried to fight them but I failed. My whole body ache from the beating I just gave myself and my heart throbbed with a pain I didn't know I could ever feel.

When I was finally calm enough, we phased back and I helped Sam clean up my mess. I apologized a hundred times, something else I never normally do, but Sam wouldn't hear it. He said he would've have done the same thing and for once I actually got angry for a legitimate reason. Sam actually said he was proud of me cause it proved that I really did care about her. Proud of my anger? He can't be serious.

So now I am here lying in my bed tossing and turning like I have been for the past 4 hours. Now that I am finally calm enough to deal with it, I keep replaying what Emily told me at dinner over and over in my head. Harley, my Harley, the one I hated to think about but couldn't stand to be away from. I thought I was the most dangerous thing in the world for her, that staying away would keep her safe, boy was I wrong.

Harley's real parents were the scum of the earth, her father a drug dealer and her mother a drug addict. Thankfully she was born a normal healthy baby which I hear doesn't happen often if the parent's have drug problems. Anyways, as soon as she was born they gave her up for adoption without a second thought. Only, they didn't have a family lined up for her so she had to stay in a state home until she was 10. How could someone know her, beautiful Harley, for 10 years and not want her, how worthless she must have felt. If I ever see the people responsible I swear I will kill them.

At 10 she was adopted by a nice young couple, from what I heard, who couldn't have kids. Apparently they loved her as if she was truely their own flesh and blood. She stayed with them for 3 years and then one snowy night they died in a car accident on their way back from a party. The pain she must have felt having the only 2 people in the world that cared about her taken away too soon.

After then it was back to the state home, by that time she was 13 and all of the adoptive families were looking for infants or toddlers. This time she was only in the home for 3 years when someone adopted her. It was a family that took in teenagers who had a rough past. I didn't understand that, she didn't have a rough past, she was perfect, amazing, it was everyone around her that messed up. Then again all I have to go by is what the state home in Settle told Chief Swan.

So anyways she was with this new family for a couple of months when the state home started getting complaints from neighbors about hearing domestic abuse in the foster house. They said they held a full out investigation, got the cops involved but everything came back clean. The parents even said that Harley and the boy always got along better than the other kids. Of course they would say this, they were probably in on it too. My anger at how stupid they were started to rise again just thinking about it. I mean seriously if a girl is getting beat, all the guy has to do is threaten her and of course she would act like they were best friends. Where does the state find these people, do they really just let any pathetic piece of shit adopt kids now a days.

Then 2 months ago she left the foster home, she took her old, very used, junker car and money she had been saving since she first started working at 14 and left. No one knew where she was going or that she even left until 3 days went by without a word. The state was trying to search for her but with all the other kids in the system it was nearly impossible to keep up with. Hearing that made me what to drive to the state home and beat the crap out of all the imbeciles that work there. Plus her worthless foster parents didn't want to help, saying that she would be 18 soon and they would stop getting a check for her so it didn't matter to them either way. So much for actually caring about the kids huh?

There you have it Harley, my imprint, had lived a live of true hell and instead of saving her from it, I just added too it. My anger started to seep from my veins, thinking of all the people in her life who have hurt her. What if she thinks it is her fault, what if she blames her self for her druggie parents not wanting her? The only thing I knew was that if she did, I would spend the rest of my life proving her wrong. She was worth it, she was worth so much more than the hand she had been dealt, hell she was worth everything. The trembling started to slow as I thought about her, not her past, just her.

I thought about her beautiful hair again, her sexy freckles that lined her whole body. I could spend hours tracing the freckles over her entire body if she let me. I was finally for the first time in days, relaxed, which was exactly what I needed. I needed to be calm and well-rested if I was going to see her today. With thoughts of her I drifted into sleep and for once thinking of her didn't make me angry, but not having her with me now did.

xxxx

Here I was standing outside the door of my imprint's hospital room, I was afraid to go in. What the hell is the matter with me? I was never afraid of anything, anxious, angry, impatient, sure, but scared just wasn't in my vocabulary. Yet, somehow, I stood in the middle of the hallway trembling, not shaking. Emily was already in there, holding her hand and talking to her, trying to wake her up. Suddenly I was angry,no jealous, it should be be in there by her side. Without another thought I entered the room.

Then I was there standing in front of her and actually seeing, I mean really seeing her for the first time. I knew I had imprinted before but the true impact of it didn't hit until this moment. Nothing else in the world mattered, just knowing she existed shattered my whole way of thinking. I never wanted to settle down, to fall in love but that was before I knew such a creature was actually real. I never gave girls the credit they deserved on their looks. I would consider them pretty, sure, hot maybe, sexy sometimes but never beautiful. Beautiful was a word that I used when describing a view or something along those lines, never for girls, the word was just too intimate.

Harley though, well she was beyond beautiful, she was absoultly breath taking. There were no words to do justice to the goddes lying in front of me, and that made me angry. I wanted to scream at the people who made the dictonary, beautiful and gorgeous were just pittiful attempts to desribe her, there needed to be more, she deserved more. I wanted to run out of the room, I was too angry, why do I always get angry so easy when it comes to her? Get out of the room Paul, those were my first thoughts, don't hurt her, you need to leave.

When I tried to move though my feet were planted to the ground, like in cement. Instinctively I looked to her and suddenly the shaking stopped and the anger flooded away. That was the moment that I realized she didn't need me, I needed her. Me, who has never needed anything before, needed this fragile, weak, but amazing girl. Around her I could feel my anger start to slowly disappear which I never before thought was possible. More dangerously though was that if I even thought of anything ever hurting her in anyway, the anger in be burned greater than ever before.

Sam's voice started echoing in my head, interrupting my thoughts, damn him. "Paul you can get closer you know, don't worry we won't let you hurt her." The anger started to rise again, I know I was afraid of hurting her before but hearing the idea confirmed from someone else was too much. My shaking was just starting to become unbearable when Sam grabbed by arm to take me out of the room. I wouldn't move though, instead I forced my eyes to find her face again and instantly the shaking stopped. Sam unused to seeing me able to control myself so easily asked in shocked, "How did you do that?"

"I don't know, I just realized that I get angry the easiest when it comes to her. Yet all I have to do is look at her and suddenly it all disspears. I know I was worried about it before but now that I am here I know that I could never hurt her, not on purpose. She is my world now, like it or not, ready or not, that's the way it is." Admitting it out loud made it that much more real, and for the first time in my life I actually doubted myself, if I could do it, settle down and be the person she needed me to be. The only thing I was sure of was that for her I would try, hell I would try anything.

"Well I am glad to hear you say that Paul because she needs you now more than ever. Rather you choose to believe it or not, Imprinting is so strong it has powers we may never truly understand. Paul, I hope you do believe it cause I am afraid you might be the only one to help her now." The air was instantly knocked out of my chest, it took all I had not to collapse.

"What do you mean? Did the doctor tell you something? Is she getting worse?" Even as I was saying the words I knew by the look on Sam and Emily's faces that I didn't want to hear the answers. I looked Sam straight in the eye and the shaking started. "Sam, TELL ME NOW!" I yelled but before I could finish I was getting pushed out the door, with Sam's death grips on my shoulder.

"Now is not the time for that Paul you need to calm down! Lets go outside and we will talk about it." A growl escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"No! I am not leaving her, please can we go back in, I will stay calm. As long as I am looking at her I can't get angry, please Sam." What was happening to me? I was sitting here begging Sam, I never beg. I wanted to punch myself for being so childish but I couldn't, my need to be near Harley overpowered everything else.

"Fine Paul but I am doing this for her, not you, I think she needs you. If I think you can't handle it even for a second then we are leaving. Do you understand?" I just nodded my head and walked into the room with Sam following.

Within seconds I found her beautiful face and instantly I was relaxed and ready to hear whatever terrible news Sam had for me. "OK you can tell me now but lets stay by the door just in case." Sam nodded in agreement and with deeply disturbed eyes, started explaining.

"Emily went to see the doctor earlier today before you got here. Look I don't know any other way to say this, Harley's breathing is starting to slow down and has become more shallow. They are currently running more tests to figure out the cause but for now they have her hooked up to an artificial respirator. She has already been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and with her breathing giving out they don't know how much longer she will have." The last words were the final blow, what ever string was keeping me standing snapped and I crashed to the floor.

For the first time in my life I didn't even care that I looked weak. Here my Imprint was dying because of me, because of my selfish needs. I always knew that I put myself before others but it never bothered me before this moment. Probably because I never cared about anyone as much as I did her, sure I cared about the pack but they knew how I was, I didn't need to pretend with them. This couldn't be happening, I was completely lost, even my anger that had been my escape for so long had abandoned me. "There has to be something they can do, they are doctors for crying out loud."

"Well they won't know for sure until they get the tests back. They will keep her on life support of course for a month or two to see if anything changes but if there are no changes or she gets worse they will have no choice. We were able to get in contact with her foster family because they are technically still her legal gaurdiens but they said they wanted no part in the decsion, that the doctors would know best. I swear if I could've I would have reached my hand through the phone and strangled that wretched woman." Emily was at my side now trying to sooth me as she explained.

As soon as the words about the scum guardians of hers came out of Emily's mouth, I tore my eyes away from Harley. I needed to be angry, I wanted to find them and rip them to shreds with my claws. The shaking started slowly first but sped up quicker than normal, before Sam could force me out the door I was already running out of the room and out of the hospital. My clothes were in pieces before I even hit the tree line but I didn't care, nor did I care that I wasn't alone in my thoughts.

Hey ya Paul, how was the hospital? Just then my thoughts slipped though exposing all my weakness to Embry. Oh dude I am sorry, I didn't know. I wanted to lunge at him for even bringing it up but just as I was about to I smelt it. The sickly sweet smell that makes my nostrils flare and my stomach churn, a vampire.

Finally I could unleash all my rage, I was running as fast as my paws allowed me following the disgusting scent. It only took a minute to see him, he was tall, average build with short black hair and those murderous blood red eyes and he was all alone. I saw him first so by the time he saw me it was too late. I was lunging at him and although he was fast, he wasn't fast enough. My teeth sunk into his hard, stone skin causing him to shriek as I tore off his arm. I was about to attack again when his arm good arm caught me in the stomach sending me crashing to the ground.

He was about to leap at me when I slashed him with my razor sharp claws, his leg went flying into the trees. He tried to hit be again but he was older, weaker than the newborns I was used to so I over powered him. I took my time, slowly pciking apart chunks of his body, instead of whole pieces. Each chunk was a person that hurt Harley, I knew I would never be able to cause them the pain they caused her. This was the next best thing I guess, destroying a leech while all along pretending it was them. Finally when I got bored I bit into his neck and riped his head clear off, with one finally scream his body fell to the ground and started twitching.

I Phased and started collecting all the pieces when Embry came out of the trees to my left and started helping me. "A little late aren't you?" Sarcasm seething out of everyone word I spoke.

"No, I was here the whole time, just watching. If I thought you needed my help I would have come out but I knew you were fine. Besides I figured you needed this, to finally be able to let go of all the anger on something you were allowed to destroy." The concern and sympathy in his voice caught me off guard and instantly I felt bad for being smart with him.

"Oh, um Thanks. I am sorry I didn't mean what I said early, just a long day." He nodded and continued to light the leech on fire causing the most sickining smell to invade my nose. "Well I am gonna head back to the hospital, are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, that was the first vamp we have seen in weeks and plus Jake will be on patrol soon." I started to walk away Embry stopped me. "Hey Paul, just a guess but I am sure you didn't change before phasing so take my clothes and I will have Jake bring me some when he phases." I just nod my head and then we both phase and I attached Embry's clothes to my foot.

Thanks Embry. I know I have made things hard on you guys...

Don't worry about it Paul. We all know part of what you are feeling, we all have been through it before. Your situation is much different though and honestly I don't think I would have reacted any differently. Go see her Paul she needs you. With that I phased back, put on Embry's clothes and walked into the hospital. Embry was usually such a goofball the fact that he was being so serious made me think. It also made me realized that there were few people in my life that did care about me and I needed to stop treating them like crap.