Now we're starting to get into the swing of things. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and to those who favourite and/or followed. And thank you to those silent stalkers out there who read and say nothing. Let me know what you think? It'll only take a minute or two.
This chapter's fairly long, and we've got more written, just waiting to give to you all :) Surely it's not proper for us to enjoy torturing our characters this much….
Anyhow, enjoy, and drop us a line!
Chapter 4.
McGonagall stood from her desk, picked up a file and swept from her office, nodding to Fleur as she went. It was time for the first proper lesson in Life Skills. She paused at the top of the staircase overlooking the entrance to the Great Hall. A number of students were waiting for her. She noted the looks of trepidation on their faces. They were more wary of the class now. Good. They would take it more seriously.
She cleared her throat. "Follow me please." They hurried to keep up as she led them through the castle to a large classroom on the fourth floor. "This will be our classroom for the remainder of the year. When this class is scheduled, you will come here, unless otherwise indicated. You will need your books and quills."
A hand shot up.
"Yes, Miss Weasley?"
"Professor, we've been getting some funny looks from other students. Ones in the years below us, I mean. Why?"
"That is because, at the current moment, the younger years know more about your upcoming project than you do." There was a grumble from the class. "However, today you will be briefed on your assignment, so much as I can brief you before it begins. Your assignment will build on what we do in this class. As we learn more, the circumstances of your assignment will change to incorporate your new knowledge." They looked just as confused as ever. She hid a smile.
"Today, we will be starting with the basic building blocks of life. I can see you all found your last lesson difficult, so you shouldn't mind starting at the beginning. Our first lesson will be on matters relating to money." She flicked her wand, and papers flew out of the file to land on the student's desks.
"Each of you will, when you leave school and home, have to find a job and budget your income to match your expenses. Today, we'll also be looking at taxes…"
—Real Life Sucks—
"Your assignment will begin today," Professor McGonagall announced to the seventh years in front of her. "After dinner, the whole seventh year will have to stay back to receive their information. For now, I will bring around a bag. Reach into the bag and retrieve a single piece of paper. You will write your name on this piece of paper, and I will collect them. This choice will dictate your life for the next six months." There were murmurs of disbelief. "This project will be full-time, and though it will not affect your other classes, it will need to be continued throughout them. Now, Mr Thomas, if you would be so kind…" She held the bag out to Dean, who reached in and pulled out a single slip of paper. He unfolded it.
"Subject 53?" he asked, bewildered.
"Write your name, Mr Thomas. This number directly corresponds to a dossier of information about your project. It is unique. If you write a name other than your own on the piece of paper, you will be stuck with that name. I would not recommend it." She finished handing the bag around. "Once you have written your name on your piece of paper, please come forward and place it in the appropriate box." She gestured to four boxes on her desk. Each had a label: 1-50, 51-100, 101-150 and 151-200. "This is so we can more easily organise your dossiers. Quickly, now, no time to lose."
The bag stowed away for later classes, she watched as the class found quills and scrawled on their pieces of paper. She wouldn't be surprised if there were a few new names this year. Some people never learned.
—Real Life Sucks—
Harry headed to the front of the room, slip of paper in hand. He'd written his own name. He had a feeling Professor McGonagall wasn't kidding, and hadn't wanted to risk anything. He stood in front of the last box and took a deep breath. "Come on lucky number 173," he muttered, placing his paper in the box and taking a step back.
"Ooh, sorry." He turned around. He'd stepped on Hannah Abbott's foot.
"Not a problem, Harry." She held up her scrap of paper, 'Hannah Abbott' clearly written in neat letters. "I'm hoping I didn't draw a bad one. What'd you get?"
"173. You?"
"174. I wonder if that means we'll be working together."
"She did say that the project would take most of the year. Having a partner would make it easier. Guess we'll find out tonight."
"See ya, Harry."
"Bye." Harry made his way back to his desk, where he could see the others deep in discussion. Hermione was looking thoughtful.
"It better not be a research project, that's all I'm saying," Ron said crossly.
"Yeah Ron, you can't fake one of them, and Merlin forbid you actually do some work," Ginny sniped.
She stood up. "Anyone want me to take their paper for them?" Ron handed over his. "Ron, do you have one of Fred and George's Self-Correcting Quills?"
"Yeah, I was going to slip it to Hermione. Why?"
"No reason." Ginny grinned and headed up to McGonagall's desk.
"What do you think the project is, Hermione?" Harry asked. Hermione blinked up at him. He'd obviously interrupted a train of thought.
"I have a sneaking suspicion."
"Care to share?"
"I'd rather wait until after dinner, and hope I'm wrong. That way I don't look like an idiot, and no one else panics."
"That bad, hey?"
"You have no idea. Think about yesterday, and then think about what we've just learned."
Harry was confused. "I don't get it."
Hermione grimaced. "Then pray to Merlin that I'm wrong."
At the look on her face, Harry's gut twisted. They wouldn't give NEWT students anything too bad. Would they?
—Real Life Sucks—
As the last of the puddings faded from sight, Professor McGonagall stood up from the staff table. "If the seventh years could remain in the Great Hall, I would ask all other students to leave."
With much muttering and a great kerfuffle, the Great Hall emptied. She swept her wand across the room, and the four House tables slid to the sides of the room. Another swish, and rows of chairs appeared in front of the staff table. The students looked confused. She flapped her hands at them. "Sit down." They sat.
"Everyone here is taking part in the Life Skills project. As some of you may have guessed, you will be spending the next six months or so taking part in a simulated 'real life' experience. You will be living in a village we have created here in the school. We will be starting with basic living – taking care of your house while working. As we progress through new material in the Life Skills class, your new knowledge will be incorporated into your new lives, meaning that your circumstances may change. This week, we will be continuing to learn about money management, and as such, your houses will be given budgets.
"You all were assigned subject numbers today. Each number has a corresponding dossier of information. It tells you your life story: your name, if you chose a new one for the assignment," she paused and gave a significant look to the group. Several people flinched. She continued, "Your age, your marital status, your job, and your income and savings, amongst other things. The dossiers will be handed out shortly. Firstly, some rules.
"You are not allowed to change anything in your dossier. You cannot swap lives with another student. For all intents and purposes, these are your lives until the assignment is complete.
"You are all expected to attend your classes. In addition, you must each complete the work assigned for your 'job'. Details are included in your dossiers. If you are sick, you must advise your employer. You will be paid for your work. However, this is not actual money, and is placed in an account under your name. Any purchases – and you will have to make them – must be made from this account. There are some items that cannot be removed from your budget.
"Your houses are, in fact, houses. As there are different forms of accommodation in the real world, not everyone will be living in a house. Some of you will have apartments, cottages, etc. If something happens in real life, you can expect that it will crop up somewhere in this assignment. You will be given the keys to your accommodation. I suggest you get a spare set made. It is up to you who you wish to give a copy to, though I should warn you that the staff have access to all dwellings.
"I mentioned changing circumstances. Sometimes they will be something that changes for everyone, and will be announced in a forum like this. For individual changes, you will be informed in writing. Internal messages relating to this assignment are colour-coded as follows: yellow parchment for official, staff created messages, blue parchment from other students relating to the assignment, and green for mail from agencies within the assignment, for instance, the tax office or the grocer. Your dossiers are self-updating and will always reflect your current circumstances.
"All houses are connected by an internal floo network. My office is also connected, but for Floo-calls only. Like any village, yours stays connected with what's happening via the local paper, the Town Talk. It's one of the items that you cannot remove from your budget for the first month. I suggest you read it, as there are occasions when the news will affect your daily lives in your village.
Now, I'll give you some time to think of questions while we hand out your dossiers. I suggest you read them first, as they'll probably contain the answers you want. After that, we'll have some time for questions. Mrs Weasley, if you could help me hand these out?"
As Ron looked frantically for his mother, Fleur stepped forward and picked up a pile of folders.
Neville, sitting next to Hermione, turned to look at her. She was incredibly pale. "You alright?"
"I was right," she said. "Sometimes I hate being right."
—Real Life Sucks—
Hannah Abbott smiled queasily as she accepted her dossier from Mrs Weasley. She stared at it in dread until the girl next to her nudged her.
"You alright Hannah? You look like someone's holding your puppy for ransom," she joked.
Hannah took a deep breath. "Yeah." She opened it and stared at the page. "I work for the Town Talk. Junior Editor. Married for fifteen years to… sweet Merlin."
—Real Life Sucks—
Draco Malfoy flicked his dossier open and scanned the page.
Married. That's not so bad.
Divorced. Damn.
—Real Life Sucks—
Ginny squeezed Harry's hand in excitement. "I really hope they put us together," she whispered. "This is going to be so much fun! We'll just breeze through this. As the only girl, Mum taught me a lot of stuff. You know, housekeeping and stuff. I wonder what our house will be like? Oooh, I can't wait!" she squealed as she took the dossier off Fleur. She grinned at the name printed on the front in big black letters. Ginevra Weasley. She threw it open and skipped straight down to the marital status. She froze.
"Ginny?" Harry asked nervously.
"Single and six months pregnant," she whispered. "Mum's gonna kill me."
—Real Life Sucks—
Luna ran her fingers over the dossier. She was dying to know what was inside, but it wouldn't do to seem too eager. She had a reputation to maintain, after all.
"Luna, you going to open that?" Neville asked, prodding her arm gently.
"Hmm? Oh, I suppose so." She flicked it open. The only thing that betrayed her eagerness was the speed with which her eyes skimmed over the paper inside. "Hmm."
"Well?" Neville asked after a pause. "What have you got?"
"Hmm? Happily married for five years."
There was another pause. "Who to?" He finally asked.
"Hmm?" She said again. It was one of her favourite noises; it really got on people's nerves. "Oh, Blaise Zabini."
Neville spluttered. "And you're okay with this?"
"Well, he's nice enough, I suppose. And it does say I've been happily married with a daughter. I wonder what his says."
From across the room there was a strangled gurgle. Neville turned to see Draco Malfoy pounding Blaise Zabini on the back. "Right. Should be interesting."
—Real Life Sucks—
Hermione stared at the folder. She felt that if she took her eyes off it, it might attack.
Ms Hermione Granger. I'm not a 'Ms'. I've never been a 'Ms'. I am a 'Miss'. I am neither divorced nor widowed. Neither am I a feminist. I am a 'Miss,' thank you very much.
She opened the folder, fuming.
"Ah. Right." Damn.
—Real Life Sucks—
Harry opened his folder nervously. What if he was a single dad? Or a widower? Or had eight kids? He took a deep breath to calm himself. If it's that bad, I'll lock myself in the dungeons. Then I'll only have to deal with Slughorn, and he really likes me. I'll be fine. I'm gonna starve. I'm gonna die. I hate you, number 173.
"For the love of Merlin, Harry, just open the bloody thing!" Ron snapped. "It's not going to explode in your face."
Harry James Potter is happily married to… "Oh my goodness."
"What?"
"I've been married to Hannah Abbott for the past 15 years and we've got four kids. Why did no-one tell me?"
—Real Life Sucks—
Neville opened his folder quickly. Like a Band-Aid, Nev. Just do it quick. He scanned it, and felt the blood drain from his face. "My gran's gonna kill me."
"Hmm?" Luna said. "Oh, you've got yours. How did you do?"
"I've been living with Padma Patil and she's four months pregnant. I'm dead."
"Oh. That's nice."
"That's not nice! My gran's gonna turn up in the middle of breakfast tomorrow and kill me stone dead in the middle of the Great Hall!" Neville moaned. "Hide me Luna!"
"Well, I suppose you could ask the Nargles. And if that doesn't work, I'll make sure you have a nice funeral. What colour would you like?"
—Real Life Sucks—
Ron flipped open his dossier, the very picture of ease. His heart was pounding.
Marital status: Single, in a steady relationship with- "What?! Merlin's saggy Y-fronts! Who the bloody hell came up with this?"
"Mr Weasley!" McGonagall snapped. "You will keep a civil tongue in your head, or Mr Filch and I will ensure it does not remain in your head very much longer!"
"But Professor! There's got to be some kind of mistake!" Ron protested.
"You merely need to spend three hours a week in her company outside of class. You can be studying, which, may I add, will only improve your scores. I'm not asking you to kiss the girl!"
He glanced over to see Pansy sobbing onto her friend's shoulder. At least he wasn't alone in his misery.
—Real Life Sucks—
Seamus strolled over to Dean and clapped him on the back. "Have you heard, brother dearest? I'm staying with you and your wife- who's she again?"
"Clara Ferris," Dean answered, checking his dossier.
Seamus stared blankly at him. "Who?"
"She's a really sweet Hufflepuff," Dean frowned at him. "Really, mate, if you can't remember my wife's name I'm gonna have to kick you out!"
—Real Life Sucks—
McGonagall gazed fondly at the pandemonium. She loved this class.
She clapped her hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you could rearrange yourselves please? Those with partners, seated with them to my left. Those divorced, with their ex-spouses in front of me. Those with no partner to my right." She waited while they grudgingly moved. "If you could sit with your spouse or ex-partner please?"
—Real Life Sucks—
Draco thumped down next to Hermione. "Honestly, Granger, we had a kid together and you still left me!"
"Since we had a kid together, don't you think we should be on first-name terms?" Hermione sniped back. "At least for Mahogany's sake."
"Who?"
"Our daughter. The three-year-old angel who is apparently 'the light of our lives,' remember?"
"Merlin, what a mouthful. We're calling it Annie. Don't argue with me, Granger. I don't have the breath to call it 'Mahogany' all the time."
"That's our daughter you're talking about, Malfoy. She's not an it."
"You know, Granger, I'm starting to see why we split."
—Real Life Sucks—
Neville sat down next to Padma.
"Hello Neville," she said, sounding a bit nervous.
"Um… Padma… assoonaswegetthechancetochangeourcircumstancesI'mp roposingokay?"
"Gesundheit?"
"Um," Neville took a deep breath. Saying it the first time had been hard enough. "As soon as we get the chance to change our circumstances I'm proposing, okay? My gran'll kill me for getting a girl pregnant without marrying her."
Padma sighed in relief. "Oh good. I was wondering how I was gonna explain this to my dad."
—Real Life Sucks—
Luna skipped over to Blaise and sat down next to him. She pretended to be oblivious to the fact that he whimpered quietly and sank a little further down in his chair.
—Real Life Sucks—
Ginny slunk over to the single people's section and threw herself into a chair. She watched sulkily as Harry made his way over to the married section. Who'd stolen him from her? It wasn't fair. She'd waited this long for him, and they couldn't be together for at least another six months, not without failing this assignment. He sat down next to Hannah Abbot. Ginny really wished she wasn't so nice. It made it so hard to hate her.
—Real Life Sucks—
Pansy was crying again as she sat down next to Ron. He couldn't understand why. Girls. He supposed he had to be nice-ish. They were supposed to be dating, after all. "What's the matter?" he asked kindly.
""I have to pretend to date a man who can't even spell his own name right!" she wailed.
"Yeah, well-" Wait. What? He snatched up his dossier and scanned the front page. "Damn!"
—Real Life Sucks—
Harry made his way over to Hannah, who was talking with her friends. He cleared his throat quietly. She grinned sheepishly.
"Hey Harry. I know this is a bit of a shock, and it probably isn't the best time to be mentioning it, but have you noticed that we'll be Mr and Mrs H. Potter?"
He started laughing. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Then he glanced over at Ginny. She was glaring at them. Then again…
—Real Life Sucks—
Susan Bones glanced at Robert Hilliard. The poor boy was hysterical, and Madame Pomfrey was gently leading him from the room. She overheard one of his friends confiding in another.
"Poor chap," he said in faux sympathy. "He's just lost his wife and now he has to raise the triplets on his own." Susan grimaced as they cracked up. And she thought she had it bad…
Let us know what you think! Next chapter, we follow our friends as they find their houses, with a few surprises along the way. :)
