A/N: Hey guys, this chapter has a lot of changing POV's so keep that in mind while reading. Other than that, enjoy :)
Bella POV
Out of place.
Disoriented.
Confused.
Betrayed.
That's what I felt when I opened that door.
A crushing sensation that surrounded me and broke all the bones in my chest.
A smothering feeling that left me out of air, even though I didn't really need it, and didn't let me breathe.
A million thoughts running through my mind, clouding my thoughts.
A few seconds ago it felt as if I was on top of the world, I had hit my stride. For the first time in over a year I was actually happy, I had everything. And that perfect moment, the one I hadn't even realized I wanted so badly, was ripped away from me, and as much as I wanted it to last forever, it didn't. Without any warning, I had been sent back right to where I had started, and the insecurity, and anger, and fear had invaded me all over again.
They looked at me, speechless...
What was this?
I begged Stefan for an explanation with my eyes, he just raised his hand as if telling me to calm down. I took a few steps backward, Elena was still by the door. Her eyes filled with tears.
Anger started boiling up inside of me. How could they?
Then I felt it, the calming sensation, the instant happy pill creeping up on me, and instead of making me calmer it made me... angry, but I couldn't express it, it was bottled inside of me, so I did the only thing I could and I glared at him, asking, no, demanding him to stop. I knew what he was doing, and I refused to be tricked into feeling something I did not feel. I would not be manipulated into that state again. He stopped.
And then wanting to break free... I ran.
Outside POV
"Don't you dare go after her!" Elena exclaimed as soon as Bella left the house. She was standing in front of the door, covering the entrance, doing whatever was within her human power to protect her friend. Stefan quickly ran to her side and addressed them.
"Please, let her process this on her own," he said, looking directly at Carlisle.
"How do you even know Bella?" Alice blurted out.
"Bella moved into our town a little over a year ago. She found herself in a situation where she needed our help, and we helped her," Stefan explained.
"What do you mean she needed help? How did she know what you are? I never saw any of this coming, I don't understand," Alice asked quickly.
"I am sure that when she's ready to come up to you, she'll tell you that story herself," Stefan addressed them.
"Please respect the space she needs to process this," Elena told them, looking directly at Alice, "Let her decide when to approach you, don't go popping out of nowhere and expect her to receive you with open arms."
"You know then? What happened..." Carlisle said and looked at Stefan, who nodded in return.
"You should have said something," Alice glared at him, "If we would have known-"
"What? What would you have done?" Elena asked, snapping. They stayed quiet, and shaking her head added, "Let her be."
Elena turned around, took Stefan's hand, walked into the house and closed the door behind her.
Then, standing there in awe, the Cullens looked at each other in disbelief, Carlisle took Esme's hand and guided his family into the forest. They headed home.
Bella POV
I ran as fast as I could. A blurr of leaves and trees and grass all flew past me. I ran because I wasn't thinking straight. I ran because the pain was just too much to handle all at once.
The pain of seeing them again, the pain of being betrayed by two of the people I trusted my life with.
How could they do that to me? How long had they known them for? Elena hadn't said anything to me, and she had known for months! I could have at least been prepared to face them for the first time after they disappeared from my life. I would have dressed better, faced them and acted like I didn't even care, and not run away like a scared little girl.
If I would have known they'd be here I would have taken Aro up on that offer of staying in Volterra. Volterra looked pretty friendly to me right about now.
I could defend myself from any sneak attack and vervain and stakes that were thrown my way, that I was ready for. But this... this I never saw coming.
Specially not now. Not when I thought everything was starting to make sense. A few minutes ago I was happy. Everything was just pure bliss, and now? I didn't even know what I felt now.
What was that back there? How could they possibly be here? Out of all the places in the world, they had to be here? And they had to barge into my life, now?
I don't understand it. I don't understand any of it.
Why would they befriend them? They knew how much they hurt me. Elena knew all the pain they caused me.
I thought I was over it. I thought I had made my peace with it the last time I was in Forks. Boy I was wrong.
But one thing I knew for sure. I would never waste a single tear on any of the Cullens ever again. It was one promise I had made to myself I had to keep. They couldn't have such a strong hold on me.
Not on this Bella Swan. No way.I had learned many many new things about myself. The most important one was that I was not that stupid little girl anymore. I had been forced to grow up in the past year. I had faced death, adapted to a new way of life, met people centuries and centuries older than me, I knew how to fight and defend myself, how to cover up, and escape, and how to torture if the situation presented it self, I had even taken a life. Not that I was proud of that last thing, but hey, I now knew I had that instinct buried somewhere inside of me.
I didn't want to go back to the house. I couldn't even face Elena right now. I just wanted to disappear. To crawl under a rock and stay there until Damon came back.
Damon.
Damon couldn't have known about this right? He wouldn't have shipped me over here if he did. He wouldn't have kissed me. He knows more than anyone how much it hurt.
I stopped running.
I had reached the border of a cliff. The sun was covered in clouds, it was getting dark. A storm was coming and I could smell the moist air all around me.
God, this was going to be just like Forks all over again.
I sat on a rock and overlooked the landscape before me, took a few deep breaths and then asked myself what the hell I was going to do.
There was no way I was staying there tonight. I could always just find a hotel, I did have the credit card Damon had given me. But it was back at the house. I only had with me my cell phone.
And my ability to compel, That doesn't count as stealing right? I mean, I could always pay for the room once I got a hold of my stuff again.
I took out my cellphone and dialed Damon's number.
Straight to voicemail.
I tried calling again, maybe there was bad reception here.
Voice mail.
I tried one more time, and when it reached voicemail I decided this time I would leave him a message.
"Hey, it's me. I made it out okay... umm... I really need to talk to you..." I let out a sigh, "I don't think I can stay here, so please call me back whenever you can... please."
I didn't even know how long it would take him to listen to that message.
I put my head on my knees and closed my eyes. I had to get it together. Recap.
Okay, so there were only six of them with Stefan. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper.
Where was Edward?
Was he living here too? Did they leave him behind? Or did he leave them?
The last time I had seen any of them had been at my disaster of a birthday party. Where I had stupidly gotten a paper cut and they wanted to eat me.
I got the thirst part now. I used to think I understood it, but I didn't until I had been through it myself.
So, I guess I could get over that. It's understandable. It's not like I blamed them or anything. I had no grudges over that.
The part where they left without having the decency of saying goodbye, that I can't overlook.
Sigh.
Bella, Bella, Bella.
Enough. Snap out of it!
What are you going to do? They're here now, So stop freaking out and think of something. No more moping. No more why me? why now? Why? Why? Why? Enough. Focus.
Okay, they're here.
Now what?
Where's Mr. Evil Planner when I need him?
Well, what has changed? How have I changed?
I'm a vampire, that's one. I can include here all that comes with being a vampire so I'm not going to name those changes.
I'm stronger and more determined.
I think faster.
I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin.
I'm not as clumsy anymore, thank God for that.
I take risks. I'm not that girl who did only what she was told to do. That change happened before I turned. I had to thank Damon for that. For most of my changes as a matter of fact. He had made me a different person. He took who I was and helped me become who I always wanted to be. Every wish I had, he made sure it came true.
So they are here now, and this is my chance to let them know I'm not the same person they left behind.
I had stayed the rest of the day just sitting there on that rock staring at the landscape before me. It was already nightfall when I heard the footsteps and the breeze carried the scent of the person I was really upset at.
Stefan.
"You better have damn good reason for being here," I said as he made his way up to me. I kept my eyes on the horizon.
"We weren't expecting you Bella," he told me.
"So, if you knew I was coming what would you have done? Hide them?" I asked.
"I would have told you personally, I never intended for you to find out about it this way, not like this. Not as a surprise."
"That's just the thing Stef, I shouldn't have found out about it because it shouldn't have happened in the first place," I snapped at him.
Stefan sighed.
"Don't be selfish Bella," he told me.
"I'm being selfish? Really?" I signaled to my chest.
"I think you are," he answered.
"Please Stefan, why don't you explain how I'm the one being selfish here."
Stefan looked down to the ground, a small smile on his face, I knew this face, this was the face old vampires gave to new ones like me when we said something childish or naive.
"You know about my past Bella, right?" he asked looking at me.
"Your Ripper days?" I asked, he nodded, "Yes I know all about them."
"And you know how hard it was for me to clean up," he said.
I rolled my eyes. I knew where this was going.
"My way of life, my diet, the way I choose to live, comes with a lot more difficult desires to handle. I've managed to make it for a while, and I've fallen off track a few times as well," he explained as he sat down, "But the one thing that has kept me strong during the times I've stayed clean has been company and support. You know all about company and support..."
Of course I did, I wouldn't have made it this far without Damon's help.
"Who helped you?" I asked curiously.
"A very dear friend... Lexie," he answered, a tinge of nostalgia on his voice.
"Can I meet her?" I asked.
He gave me a weak smile, "Only through stories."
Oh. She was dead. Dead dead.
"Sorry," I apologized to him.
He shrugged.
"So she shared your diet too?" I asked.
He chuckled and shook his head, "She tried... once, for like, two days."
"Then how did she help?" I asked, a little confused.
"She was there," he answered.
He was telling me that having found such a large coven of vegetarians was rare. That not only were they there, they also understood the way he chose to live and they also lived like him. He wasn't an outsider.
I was being selfish.
I still felt angry at him though. It was betrayal. It was a unique situation, and I understood how rare it was, but I stillfelt betrayed.
"Carlisle is your sponsor isn't he?" I rolled my eyes.
Stefan chuckled.
"I get it. I don't approve, and I'm stillmad... but I get it," I told him, and then added, "Don't expect me to be forgiving them any time soon Stefan."
He nodded, "I won't push you into anything you're not ready to deal with. I wanted to tell you in person Bella, and I wanted you to hear it from me."
"Elena knew all along?" I asked.
"She has a class with Alice, she was the one who spotted them first," he told me, I rolled my eyes, "Her first day in college, she came home telling me we had to move far away because they were here. I calmed her down. The next day I go into class and Carlisle is my teacher. We spoke. He was worried I would call attention on them, assuming I followed the normal diet, I assured him that wasn't going to be a problem, we started talking and we actually have a lot in common."
I stared at the view in front of me and tried to picture Stefan and Carlisle having a conversation. What would they talk about? Compassion, deer, family, blah blah, blah, bunnies. Would Carlisle want to adopt him?
Esme and Carlisle were the Brad and Angelina of the vampire world.
"I wanted to explore this Bella, and so I begged Elena not to tell you," he explained.
"Elena said you had made friends, and that they didn't really like her. She was talking about them right?" I remembered our conversation from months before.
He nodded.
I got angry.
"Did they saysomething to her?" I turned to face him once again.
He frowned, "They don't really approve of vampire-human relationships."
I rolled my eyes. Of course they didn't approve, not after the incident.
"They've maintained their distance," he explained.
I could only imagine Rosalie giving Elena her classic 'I couldn't give a rat's ass if you lived or died'face.
"and Elena? What does she say?" I asked.
He chuckled, "Elena? Well she never liked the idea of me being with them, or not telling you about it. Speciallynot telling you."
I sighed. I understood every reason Stefan had given me, but I could not shake off the feeling of betrayal.
"Bella, if you're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me, not Elena."
"Just give me time to process it all..." I told him.
"I never told them about you," he said.
"You didn't?" I asked in surprise.
He shook his head, "It wasn't my story to tell," he shrugged, "Besides, before telling them, I had to tell you. Believe it or not Bella, you're practically family."
"A heads up would have been nice," I said.
"And ruin your tranquility and the fun you were having with my brother in Europe?"
I thought about this. I probably wouldn't have had as much fun, but I would have been prepared.
I shrugged.
"Speaking of my brother..."
"I have no idea where he is, and we're not done talking about the Cullens," I blurted out, trying to avoid the Damon subject, and at the same time still wanting to know more about the Cullens.
"He's not here, if that's what you're wondering," Stefan told me.
Edward. He wasn't with them?
"We haven't met him. They would have known about you if he was here."
Of course, he would have picked up my existence on Stefan's thoughts.
"They didlook surprised," I realized.
"Surprised? More like shocked. Completely baffled. They thought they were leaving to protect you from our world. They never expected you to become one of us."
I scoffed.
"Wait... Alice didn't see me coming?" I asked in confusion.
"Apparently not," he shrugged.
"How is that even possible?" I said under my breath. Alice always knew what I was up to even before I did.
"We were hunting way up north when Elena and I disappeared from her visions. We ran back as fast as we could," Stefan explained.
"Does this mean you're all BFF's now?" I asked him sarcastically.
"We get along pretty well," he answered.
What was this I was feeling at the pit of my stomach? Envy? Was I jealous of Stefan and his relationship with the Cullens? I could picture him speaking with Jasper, they both suffered a lot with anxiety. I couldn't really picture him having a conversation with Emmett though.
"Do you think they're going to call him?" I asked.
"We asked them to give you space and let you be," he answered.
"Have you met them? They're suffocating," I replied.
He chuckled, "In my experience, people tend to suffocate the ones they love the most."
"Don't do that," I snapped, "Don't defend them."
"I'm just telling you what I think," Stefan answered.
We both stayed quiet for a while.
Stefan started chuckling.
"What are you laughing about?" I asked him.
"Elena asked them to leave you alone after you ran. No, she demanded they stay away from you and give you space, she stared directly at Alice. She was very protective of you," he explained.
I had to admit that that knot made up of anger and betrayal that I had in the pit of my stomach started to disappear and was replaced by a warm sensation.
"And what did Alice say?" I asked, a little intrigued.
"Nothing, she was surprised, and I think she knew what Elena meant," he answered.
I smirked. I was satisfied.
"Did Damon know about this?" I asked him.
"Do you really believe Damon would have sent you here if he did?"
I shrugged.
"I expect a stake in my stomach when he hears about this," he told me.
"Isn't that a bit exaggerated?" I asked.
He gave me a small smile.
I got serious.
"She told you didn't she?!" I exclaimed.
He chuckled.
I covered my face with my hands.
"I like it," he told me, "I approve."
"I don't even know what it means, it was out of the blue, I wasn't expecting it" I told him.
He laughed out loud.
I punched his arm. He winced.
"Look at you, all brave and throwing punches," he joked.
"I can do a lot more than that now," I answered.
"I'm not scared of you," he told me, and then added, "But they should," he pointed somewhere over the horizon.
"They live in that direction?" I asked.
He nodded.
"It's actually not far away from our place," he added.
I rolled my eyes. This was not going to be easy.
"Do they visit often?" I asked him.
He shook his head, "I'm the one who goes over there most of the time," he sighed and then added, "Actually, they can't come in the house, not unless they are invited in."
My head snapped up in surprise. "What?! HOW?"
"Elena asked Bonnie to put up a spell," he answered.
"I wish I would have had a witch friend back in Forks," I muttered under my breath.
"Yeah, witches come in handy every once in a while... they hate us, but they are handy. Elena didn't do it for her protection... fyi," he said as he turned and looked at me, "she did it for you."
I stared at the direction Stefan had pointed out to and stayed quiet for a few minutes. What now? What happened next? How would I deal with this?
"Stef, what do I do now?" I asked him calmly.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, "Now you face your demons and grow up."
Those words scared the hell out of me. I was so mad at them. I had missed them, yes, but I was still angry. That pain had slowly started to disappear since my change. Even before that, when I moved to Mystic Falls, that was when the healing began.
Once I changed, my attention was diverted into everything that felt so new to me. I was concentrated on learning self control and awareness of everything that was around me. I learned about friendship and support, and not bailing when things got a little rough. But most of all I had learned about loyalty.
"If you don't have your words, then you have nothing." Damon had once told me.
He was still one of those men who honored their words. He lived up to them, and when he didn't want to, he looked for a way around them, but they were always literal. If he promised something he was going to make sure he kept it.
"Your words are one of the biggest weapons you possess, know when to use them, how to use them, and who to use them with," he had also told me.
He was old school, and he had introduced me to his old school friends. Damon kept his word, and at this point I only hoped he would keep the last promise he made, a few weeks or a month tops. I'm not so sure how I'm going to deal with all of this without him here. I needed his advice.
"Let's go back," I said as I stood up.
"Are you sure?" Stefan asked me.
"Are they still there?" I asked him.
"No."
"Then let's go home," I said and started walking back in the direction of the house. We walked all the way. I was taking my time and Stefan was not rushing me. When we reached the house, we made our way up the stairs of the front of the house, walked in, and found Elena waiting in the living room. She jumped up as soon as she saw us come in.
She looked at me with what I could only recognize as regret and guilt in her eyes. I walked over to her and gave her a hug.
I wasn't completely over it, far from it, but I knew she needed me to forgive her, or at least speak to her, and I needed it as well, now that Damon wasn't here I was going to need Elena, and from what Stefan had told me, she was the one who really had my back. She did stand up and speak at Alice directly. Or so Stefan said.
I had been distracted while I was away, but I really had missed her, and with everything that was running around in my head, I was going to need a friend more than ever.
"I am so sorry Bella," she started saying while we hugged, "I wanted to tell you, I even tried leaving you clues when we spoke."
I let her go, "Yeah, Stefan's friends who don't like you, you were talking about them..." I told her, she nodded.
"Don't worry about it," I told her, I put my hands together and said, "Now, which one is my room again?"
Elena smiled and guided me upstairs.
Outside POV
They were all sitting in silence in the white living room. None of them spoke. Their minds were rushing with questions, picturing different scenarios of how it all had come down to this. It wasn't in their plan. It had been a simple plan, leave and let her live her life as any normal human would.
They had watched her for the first few months. Alice had been extra careful looking for her future even though Edward had asked her not to do it. Alice cared for her, and once Edward had left them, she looked into her friend's future every now and again.
But it got too painful. Watching how their departure had affected her. Week after week her appearance in the visions got worse. She was always sad, always crying, always on auto pilot. It was as if she wasn't even there. The girl they had met had evaporated and they had been the ones to blame.
Then her visions started to space out for terms of time, and Alice wasn't able to see her in her visions for long periods of time. That was when she had decided to check up on her, even though the rest of her family wasn't okay with it. So she went to Forks, and looked for Bella, and saw her smiling and having fun with the Black boy. She then assumed what the reason behind her vision blackouts was. She decided that Bella was okay, she was moving on, and even though she was being friendly with their mortal enemies, she was better off and she would be able to live a normal happy human life.
This was when Alice had tuned herself to visions of Bella's future only in times of danger. Only if something really significant were to happen, the visions of Bella's future would pop into her head. She saw when Charlie got offered the job. She saw when Bella and Charlie drove out of Forks. She saw when they had arrived in Mystic Falls. After that, she hadn't seen Bella's future in months.
She had had an arguement with Edward one day. He knew she was still looking into Bella's future and made her swear she wouldn't do it again. By doing it, she was only torturing herself and the rest of her family. So she stopped, it was time they all moved on.
Bella had died and she never saw it coming.
"She repelled my power when I tried to calm her," Jasper broke the silence.
Carlisle looked at him.
"She was really protective of Bella," Alice said, as she remembered the way Elena had spoken.
"She cares deeply for her," Jasper added.
"How did I not see this?" Alice asked a little exasperated.
"I never trusted him," Rosalie said.
"I always interpreted his feelings of betrayal as part of his existential angst, and I always thought she was just scared of us," Jasper said.
"Do we call him?" Esme asked, this was the question that they were all making themselves.
They were all quiet.
They had not seen Edward in months. He would check in with Esme and Carlisle every now and again, only to calm Esme down. She would always ask when he was coming home and he would always answer "Not yet." and hang up.
"No," Emmett said and standing up added, "We don't call him. We don't go looking for her. We wait. We give her her space. Let's respect that. After the way we left things, it's the least we can do. We owe it to her."
"I agree," Carlisle said.
Esme nodded, so did Alice and Jasper. Rosalie shrugged.
"We wait then," Carlisle said after making sure everyone agreed.
"Let's just hope Edward doesn't decide to come home now and make her run away again," Emmett said.
A/N: This chapter is shorter than usual. This is on purpose. I'm taking a poll. chapters where lots happens, and I take my time, or B. Short chapters like this one where pretty much nothing happens, and I take less time.
You are warned. If chapters are shorter, Damon will take a lot more time to come back (It's in the storyline).
Any ways, leave your thoughts in that box down there and review ;)
