Hey! Sorry about the lack of update due to the author's immense laziness. I guess I sort of have an excuse now because I've got a job now. Yay! I bag people's groceries at Hy-Vee for minimum wage!!! Yes!

Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned anything, would I be writing fanfics or writing actual stories and getting paid for it?

Chapter 4: In which Kim makes another swear, and Erica writes it down on her 'Things to tell mom about' list

So, a few days later, the fellowship started on their journey to Mordor. Seeing as there are about 120 miles of plains between Rivendell and Caradhras (A mountain), it was a very long trip in which very little happened. For fun, they walked in slow motion to dramatic music (Kim liked this part.) After doing this for a few weeks they got to…another campsite!

Merry, Pippin, Boromir, and Erica were practicing swordplay at the campsite. Aragorn was watching them while smoking his pipe. (Announcement for the Kiddies: If you smoke, you will die. DON'T DO IT!!!) Gandalf and Gimli were discussing how to get past the mountains, and Kim was trying to take a nap, because she was a teenage girl after all, and they need 16 hours of sleep a day.

"By tomorrow, we should be halfway up the mountain, and by the next day we should be over." said Gandalf.

"What's the point of climbing all the way up that mountain when we can just go under? We should go through the Mines of Moria." argued Gimli.

"No," said Gandalf, "I would not take the road to Moria unless I had no other choice. A great evil resides in those mountains, one that could overpower any of us easily."

Gimli pouted, "This sucks! Nobody ever listens to my suggestions! I bet it's because I'm short!"

"Come on, Gimli,"

"It's true, Gandalf! You are discriminating me because of my height!"

"That's not true!" Gandalf argued.

"Height discriminator!" Gimli said. This made Gandalf furious, for some unexplained reason.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

And so it continued for the next ten minutes. Kim stirred from her nap.

"Hey Erica!" Kim called. Erica left the fight and rushed over to Kim.

"What's up?"

"I'm a little worried." said Kim.

"About what?"

"That our being here has changed the book somehow."

"What gives you that idea?"

Erica finally noticed the sound of Gandalf's and Gimli's argument. She still didn't get it.

"So?" she said.

"Don't you notice! In the books, Gandalf was a wise, serious old wizard and now he's acting like a stupid 12-year-old! Gimli is getting sensitive, Aragorn is getting cranky-"

"Wasn't he always cranky?" Erica asked.

"Yes, but that's not the point! The point is, the characters have changed since we've come here. It's not good! When we get back, we'll have to worry about millions of angry fans wondering why two freaks named Kim and Erica had to come and ruin the book!" Kim was kind of spazzing out. Erica patted her shoulder.

"It's okay! I'm sure that the Lord of the Rings fans aren't that obsessive!"

Meanwhile….

Random LotR fan 1: OMG who are these people!

Random LotR fan 2: I don't know! What have they done with this book?

Random LotR fan 1:They've defiled the works of Tolkien! They can't do that, his works are practically the friggin' Bible!

Random LotR fan 3: melts into a weepy pile of goo

Okay…back to the story!

Kim stared at Erica. "You have absolutely no idea how dedicated his fans are, do you?"

Erica shook her head. "Not a clue."

"That's probably good news."

Erica shook her head and began to walk away. "Kim, Kim, Kim, you worry too much!" She turned around to face Kim. "Just relax! Any person who is reading the book is too nerdy, and too wimpy, to be much of a threat anyway."

As Kim was about to retaliate that she read the books, she noticed something behind Erica. It looked like a black cloud.

"What's that?" said Kim as she pointed it out.

Gimli scoffed. "Don't worry, it's just a cloud!"

"It's moving fast," Boromir realized. "and against the wind."

Legolas stood on top of a rock and used his super elf vision powers to see what it was.

"Crebain from Dunland!" cried Legolas.

"HIDE!" yelled Aragorn, and everyone attempted to hide themselves quickly. Everyone, that is, except Erica.

"What the heck is a crebain?" asked Erica.

"Don't ask! Just hide!" yelled Kim.

"I want to know!"

"They're birds! Now will you hide!" said Boromir angrily. Erica laughed.

"Birds!" she said. "Come on, birds are nothing to be afraid of! I had a pet bird once-"

"WILL YOU JUST HIDE DAMN IT!" screamed Kim.

Erica gasped. "You made another swear!"

This is when Aragorn finally got sick of this discussion and yanked Erica under a bush. Sadly, he decided to do this too late. The birds had seen them, and they circled around the hill a bit, then returned to their master.

Erica shoved Aragorn's hand off of her mouth. "You got that worked up over a bunch of crows?!?!?"

"Not crows," said Gandalf. "Crebain. Spies of Saruman. Thanks to you, Saruman knows we're here!"

Erica gasped. "Oh I see! You weren't scared of the birds, you were scared of being found out by the weird wizard dude that is better than Gandalf!"

Gandalf glared at her, and Kim slapped her forehead again. Then she immediately regretted it because she already had a goosebump there from doing that too many times.

"Well," said Gandalf. "We had best get over the mountain while we can, and with a bit of luck we'll be over before Saruman's birds can report back to him."

"Fat chance." said Kim. But at Gandalf's command, the party began to pack up their things.

Yay! I think I spelled 'crebain' wrong! I don't really know, since I was too lazy to go look it up. Please R&R!