Previously in The World Within And Without…
She didn't let him finish. She kissed him in joy.
Their wedding can always take place another time.
In their eyes, they were already so.
John smiled at the sight of the two assassins before turning to the crippled Akari, who stared at all of them with vengeful hatred.
"I'll kill all of you one day," she hissed weakly, her strength ebbing as she slowly bled to death, "I'll kill you all for Zato-sama!"
"Perhaps one day, you would," was the calm answer as he bent over her and gently picked her up in his arms. Akari struggled a bit but was too weak due to loss of blood.
"But that day," John reassured her quietly, "Will have to wait."
Strangely enough, she felt like she was being carried–
The blonde hair, the slight smile, the reticent presence all were like those of one person.
–By Zato.
Akari Odine lost consciousness.
But not before she smiled one last time.
"What the hell is that?"
"Oh, my God!"
"Impossible! That thing's dead!"
"Reports of the big black something's death have been greatly exaggerated…"
"Shut up, smartass."
All the fighters broke off their battle as the giant black tidal wave swept over the horizon and towered over them. The thing –there was no other word to name it, except perhaps monster– shifted its form almost incessantly, becoming human, then demonic, then something in between. Part human, part shadow, but it was all evil.
They could all hear a familiar voice –no, there were three familiar voices, all clamoring for attention, all of them hungry for blood.
"Korosu… korosu… korosu…"
A giant sightless eye opens.
"KOROSU!"
Darkness/Eddy/Zato One has come.
Even as the agent who sent it battles for his very life, the subspace transmission travels beyond the speed of light into the depths of space. Its message is received by its intended targets. It is a short one. Its most important part is a series of coordinates pertaining to the location of the Solar System– and of Earth. It is, in a galactic sense, an address of a place– and a call that the harvest is ripe here.
Its recipient, a gigantic battleship, leads a massive fleet of other such ships. Aboard each ship is an army of feline warriors, all skilled and ready and awaiting battle, armed to the teeth and paw with advanced weaponry. They are all hungry; they want rice.
The Empire of Nibbles is on the warpath.
Guilty Gear
The World Within And Without
Original Conception By: Sheo Darren
Overseen By: Yuuki Darren
Disclaimer: Sheo Darren does not own Guilty Gear or any of the games, anime, movies, books and the like that are the property of other people. All original characters in this story are his creations and property. All insert characters are copyright/owned by their respective represented real-life entities.
CHAPTER ZERO THREE
Oh, Angel
The Death Star.
It hung over the blue-white marble planet that was Earth so peacefully, a steel gray orb floating in its seemingly aimless way in space, you'd never had thought it was a weapon of mass destruction. But then you'd see the numerous capital turbolaser and particle beam artillery batteries and other weapons emplacements, and then the sinister shapes of the battleships moored on outer docks and internal hangars, and then the huge pit on one pole of the artificial moon that could only be the muzzle of a very big weapon. The Death Star had been made to visit almost-instantaneous and virtually assured annihilation on any target its commander wished.
As now.
Klaxons were sounding all over the vast battle station's decks and quarters, sending the crews –almost all women courtesy one young man's bias– to their duty posts. The command bridge was alive with incoming data displays and the controlled frenzy of calls and reports.
Yuuki raced through the sliding doors, Loki only a few steps behind her. That Girl settled herself as best as she could into the command chair several sizes too large for her, having been made to fit one particular person's taste and comfort. Remembering whose chair it really was, she inwardly sighed to herself.
Sheo…
Mastering herself, she turned to her worried bridge crew, a beacon of calm in the chaos, Loki's presence at her side reassuring her and them all. "Status report!"
The scene would have been familiar to the doomed personnel of the Grand Cannon from Macross who got their hides thoroughly aired by the 5 million strong Zentraedi fleet. It seemed the entireness of space was filled with the enemy, there were so many of them. Rank upon rank of warships bristling with laser cannon and missile tubes were arranged in a psychologically intimidating wall of death-bringing metal. Their huge mothership was a monstrosity, ten times the size of its biggest 'flunky', a tiger amongst bobcats.
Literally.
Despite their deadly capability, the military might of the Empire of Nibbles was rather a laughable lot. For one thing, they all in one way or the other looked like plushie kittens. Even their mothership seemed more like a kawaii tiger doll than a warship.
Facing them was the Earth defense fleet. The former Anti-Sho Tsuzuku Task Force was already mobilizing, the myriad battleships surging free of their mooring docks and holding bays, weapons primed and shields energized and launch bays pumping out their deadly cargo of mecha and combat spacecraft. The flagship J-Ark led the formidable formation, Nadesico and Nirvana trailing close, the other ships spreading out into the cone-shape formation that maximized their forward-directed weaponry's firepower.
Behind the Task Force, however, was the greatest guardian of Earth's security: The Death Star itself. It wasn't just the biggest of the lot; it also had the most guns and the biggest gun: The infamous anti-planetary super laser that once destroyed Aldebaran in Star Wars. Once the Rebel Alliance's greatest foe, it was now Earth's mightiest and last line of defense against all those who would dare threaten the planet.
The battle, it seemed, would be fleet against fleet: The insanely numerous Imperials versus the qualitatively superior Earth forces. It was a replay of the old Warsaw Pact/Soviet Army versus NATO, albeit in space. For those not familiar with the Cold War terms, think the Zerg versus the Protoss.
And Starcraft gamers all know what happened to Aiur.
Would it happen to Earth, too?
"The enemy fleet is the Empire of Nibbles' invasion armada. They have a total of perhaps three hundred thousand capital warships, all battlecruiser class or better. That's their mother ship over there, the big one, carries a load of assault ships that do the planetary invasion things. We do know they're into big ships and big guns. No known deployable fighter complement or equivalent in mecha. Technological levels are reputed to be quite advanced, according to our informants from their neighbors in the Di Gi Charat system," Loki finished reading the report.
"Any known weakness of sorts?" Yuuki asked.
"Maybe we should target their snacks?" Nene Romanova suggested lightly.
Everyone stared at her as if she had suddenly turned into a hamster or something. Nene blushed and tried continuing. "Well, they look like the big ships from Invader Zim. If they start shooting purple lasers, maybe we should do that."
Yuuki's mouth became a thin line.
Nene thought she was going to die within the next minute, she was so embarrassed.
"Maybe we should," Yuuki finally said. Much to the beleaguered girl's relief, she turned to the rest of the bridge crew. "Red alert. Go to battle stations." To Nene: "Open a communications link to them. Let's see if we can talk them out of this."
The screen charged to show two very big cat-like humanoids that towered over chibi versions of themselves who had to be their flunkies. They all reminded That Girl of Sammy the kitty cat, now that she thought of it.
(Locked in battle with Leon Winchester, Sammy screeched, "Don't call me kitty–ow!")
"Imperial commanders," Yuuki began quite coolly. "I assume you're here on a navigational error, since we're quite a long way off the Di Gi Charat star system you're obviously planning to obliterate. I never really liked them. Please, with all respects, go off and destroy them. We won't mind."
The bridge crew began protesting that. They all thought Di Gi Charat was adorable– but then Yuuki cleared her throat. Everyone shut up.
The Imperial smirked, which nearly earned a grimace from Yuuki. She just hated that gesture. It reminded her of Sho –correction, Samael Tsuzuku, that arrogant bastard.
"We are not lost, human. We are here to conquer your planet. Deactivate your weapons and shields and surrender– or die," finished the creature haughtily.
Yuuki sighed in an overtly dramatic way, seemingly tired and disappointed. Then her hands gripped the command chair's armrests so tightly that her knuckles went white, and her cobalt eyes flared angrily like a blue giant gone nova, making the Imperials actually flinch. But when she spoke, it was in a cold tone that froze hell over.
"I don't think so."
A flick of her finger shut off the comlink, and then the screen showed the Nibbles warships begin to reconfigure for attack formation.
"Miss Yuuki?"
She quoted Wing Commander as an answer:
"Now it's time to make them sorry they were ever born."
As the girls all went to their tasks, That Girl leaned back into her chair and took her glasses off, fingering them in her hands, remembering who had given them to her in the first place.
Sheo…
In the deepest parts of space:
"Plave, our sensors are picking up something from Earth. It is–" Executive Officer Sho Tsuzuku (both 'of relation to' and 'of no relation to' Sho Tsuzuku of The Wedding Night 2) considered his report's wording very carefully, finishing with an ironic-sounding "Very remarkable."
"Eh?" Interested, Captain 'Plave' sat up in his chair. "Is it the Borscht?"
"No, fortunately–" Seeing the looks of disappointment on the captain's face, XO Sho corrected himself. "Unfortunately, it is not our foes. It appears to be the Empire of Nibbles. Again," he added even more dryly than usual.
"Eh? Those dumb-asses again? Didn't we kick their asses before?"
"Affirmative, Captain." The said endeavor had resulted in the expenditure of fifteen steel chairs, three shots from that newfangled humongous gun the security chief had been ranting about, and a galaxy-shaking chorus of "Kawaii!" from the almost-all girl crew. The last had been the move that finished the enemy– and very nearly finished their ship itself as well. There were only five male officers, one overactive android, one holographic doctor, and the usual scattering of nameless cannon fodder bishie boys who posed as the security/away teams and who were always the ones to die or be assimilated or meet any senseless yet creative end when encountering the enemy.
"They never learn." Plave whimsically considered the information before asking: "Hey, Purple!"
"Yeah?" was the helmsman's reply, muffled as it was by the huge bulky Barney costume he wore.
"How far is it to Earth at Maximum Warp?"
The ship's speed dial had three settings: Dead Stop, Maximum Warp, and Ramming Speed, the last's text colored in red and with a smiley mark next to it. By meticulous trial and error plus very finely-tuned and sensitive fingers turning the dial minutely, the Purple Dinosaur could adjust the speed setting to anything in between those three. Theoretically.
"Fifteen minutes, Keptin." The Purple Dinosaur talked like Chekov from the original Star Trek, although he also fulfilled the role of Star Trek's Sulu's or that guy Lieutenant Miller who got assimilated by the Borg in First Contact or that nameless guy who got sucked out of the bridge during Nemesis.
Next, Plave commanded: "Bridge to Engineering! Status report!"
The screen showed pandemonium as the entire engineering bay seemed on the verge of destruction, fires and smokes and collapsing stuff everywhere, the jumpsuit girls running around to tend things. The chief engineer, Zam, was covered in soot and looked harried as he reported over what sounded like the world coming to an end.
"Captain! She canna take much longah!"
Yes, Zam said that with a Scottish accent. It's a known fact that the best starship engineers are all Irish, even the alien ones. There's even a planet full of engineers who all have red hair and a love for beer and Irish accents.
Oh, and for the readers' information, the engineering bay wasn't blowing up. It always looked like it was in shambles because of shoddy design plans and lazy draft-dodging construction workers. Miraculously, it all held together and worked quite well despite appearances to the contrary. The only time they worried was when Chief Zam reported that everything was "Just fine", which means they were all in a matter of minutes going to die courtesy the engines going to hell.
"Okay. Set a course for Earth," Plave ordered in the very essence and image of a Starfleet captain.
"Captain," the simulated voice of the equally ethereal Doctor noted over the PA, stuck in Sickbay as a Emergency Medical Hologram of Star Trek: Voyager fame, "May I remind you that we are on a mission of paramount importance to the Federation?"
"The Doctor is right," Sho observed.
Plave said something that was not exactly fit for people's ears. He hated his XO (Executive Officer) because the man didn't like him.
"No respect meant, but I need to mate only once every three years." Sho was a Human who acted all too much like a Vulcan– if Vulcans were ever illogical and martial arts freaks, that is. He also disliked his captain as much as the latter did for him.
Again, the swear words. "We need to pick up Taka from Earth, anyway. Our security chief went Big-Game Hunters on us, fragging campers for all he's worth with that damn Plasma Cannon." Plave had a way of using gaming terms as metaphors, one step down from direct l33t language.
"I should have gone onto the Enterprise E when I had the chance," the Doctor grumbled over the PA. "Picard was reasonable and sane compared to this motley bunch."
"Can someone load an H-game into the Doc's motherboard and shut him up?" Plave complained. "Picard is gay!"
There were sounds of giggling over the PA, some shuffling noises, and then the Doctor was screaming, "Good God, no, not Tsukihime! Please! Have mercy on Arcuied and Ciel and Hisui and Kohaku and even Akiha! No, not the H-scenes! Anything but the H-scenes! God, please, not an orgy as well! Noooooo!!!"
Thankfully Sho shut off the PA before the bedroom SFX could start playing.
"Aww," the Purple Dinosaur muttered. "I want to watch that scene."
"Riel," Plave growled. "Just shut up and get the ship moving."
"Okay…"
"Baka desu," scolded the voice of the ship's blue-haired yellow-brown-eyed AI, official designation of Windows 2371 Edition OS but known to everyone aboard the ship as Ruri-tan. "What a bunch of fools…"
It took only one swipe from Darkness/Eddy/Zato One to scatter the stunned fighters it dwarfed. Assassins and Guilty Gear fighters and the outsider Garrou duo went flying from that God-awful Shadow Drill rising perhaps thirty stories into the air.
Dizzy stayed airborne, her hands gripping Ky firmly, Necro and Undine keeping them in the air to watch the horror unfold. Like some hideous tentacle monster from ADV, a writhing mass of feelers erupted from the Thing's blackness, stabbing and smashing out at anything in reach.
The Thing. That was what their minds were calling it, the monstrosity before them. Certainly the name was far more convenient than calling it Darkness/Eddy/Zato. But it made sense. No longer was it any of the three shadow-users that it incorporated. It wasn't even a combination of their minds and personas. It was simply a mindless Thing driven by a madness of three minds that could not exist together all at the same time. It was a monster.
It was going to kill them all.
The Thing tore apart the Assassins in its way as if they were rag dolls. They could hear screams of pain from the dying even up where they were. The Assassins couldn't offer effective resistance. Their attacks and powers would not work. It knew their abilities like the back of its now non-existent hand; the Thing had seen it all.
It had been Zato One, after all.
"Hotaru!"
The red ribbon girl lay semi-unconscious on the ground. The last of the Assassins dead, the Thing turned its evil upon her.
"Dizzy!" Despite his justified pride in his own skills and power, Ky knew he didn't stand a prayer of stopping or even delaying the Thing. Their only chance now was the power that slumbered within his wife's body, the power that had blunted the evil Sana Kusanagi half a year ago, the power that was–
But then there was Rock.
Bleeding from the forehead, half his handsome face covered by blood and his lean frame hurting like hell, the young Howard nevertheless planted himself squarely in the thing's path. Nothing would hurt his wife while he lived.
He'd nearly lost her once before.
He would never allow that to happen again.
The Thing attacked.
"Reppuken!"
The dark gale slowed it, but the Thing recovered its lost momentum easily.
"Double Reppuken!"
Rock was dishing out his projectiles as fast as he could, the amethyst micro-storms growing more and more powerful with every new one released. Still the Thing came, hideous hydra heads reaching for him, for them.
"Greed Sever!"
His Furaiken slicing apart the closest of the snapping fangs, Ky literally dropped in to fight at his friend's side. Stun Edges joined Reppukens, smashing into the Thing one after the other. Dizzy joined the fray, Bubbles and Arctic Impalers flying from Undine's hands, Necro spurting Spinning Scythes. Projectiles rained sledgehammer-like upon the monster, tearing rents upon the ebon skin.
But the Thing had all the power of three shadow users, and most of all it had Darkness, that feared by the heroes of Shadow Skill. It was huge and shrugged aside or ignored the blows, and then barreled into the four with abandon. Dizzy grabbed Hotaru but barely managed to fly clear, her helpless cargo weighing her down. Ky and Rock were less lucky. Slower than the two girls, they Fortress Blocked instead– and were promptly swallowed up within the monstrous bulk. It happened in a blink of an eye. They were gone.
"Ky! Rock!"
The Thing turned on Dizzy and Hotaru.
"Iyaaaahh!"
"RIDE THE LIGHTNING!"
"RAGING STORM!"
The Thing exploded, its shadowy matter spraying everywhere, splattering upon the ground and walls and on everyone.
At the center of the explosion, the grinning and drenched Ky and Rock emerged.
"I didn't know Overdrives could pack that kind of damage when you launch two or more simultaneously," the Holy Knight declared.
"I thought this was Guilty Gear, not Dynasty Warriors," added the Garrou warrior.
Dizzy could have cried in happiness; she did. In her arms, Hotaru had recovered consciousness. The two blondes headed over to their wives, confident in their victory.
Behind and around and below them, all the black liquid matter that had been the Thing stirred. Like iron fillings drawn to a magnet, they came together and rapidly rebuilt the being that had been destroyed.
Hotaru uttered a cry of warning. It was all they had.
The Thing attacked again.
While all of the previous was going on, Sammy and Leon Winchester were blasting away at each other. The two were evenly matched. Where Leon had the advantage with all of his attacks done at long range (think Makijina Mina from Samurai Showdown),Sammy was supreme melee with his huge Kliff knife. Thus their battle was at a stalemate.
But despite what Sigil Clyne writes in her fan fiction –and she'd never updated as far as Sheo Darren knows, which is too bad since he kind of liked her story– there is no true 'stalemate' in battles. There is always a winner and a loser (or, in the case of the Philippine national elections as alleged by the opposition, a 'winner' who cheated and all the other poor saps who got cheated). The winner might not seem much after the dust settles, what with all the losses taken in the battle, but at least he's still there to count coup.
So saying, Leon Winchester won by a dirty trick. He threw something into the air, something to distract his opponent away from his next attack, an exercise of his opponent's psychological stature gone way wrong.
He threw a handful of rice away.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sammy scrambled to catch all of the precious grains of rice as they fell. He succeeded, swearing all the vile epithets and insults in his native language that the Cat Gods had taught against those infidelity-committing infidels who would dare perform such sacrilegious sacrilege against the holiest of holy items: Rice–
And then Leon Winchester shot him.
Shot to the heart!
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name!
I've played my part
And you've played your game.
You give love a bad name!
In Excel Saga, the blonde ACROSS agent Excel starts. She thought she had gotten shot again. Looks like she's mistaken this time...
Or maybe not, since there was someone drawing a bead on her through a very familiar sniper scope.
ZAP.
BOOM.
Taka Ichiko exulted. He had not only accomplished his mission for Sega Black Ops/Tensaiga/Galactic Federation/whatever, he had also gotten on the scoreboard again. He liked firing off big guns. Especially his Sony P4216A "KILLTRUNK" hyper plasma cannon, an up-gunned version of the infamous KILLSTICK of Megatokyo Fame which Taka had 'appropriated' from his employers' rival company only a few weeks ago.
His cell phone started ringing. Taka opened it.
"Yo, Taka!"
"Eh, Plave! What's up?"
"We're coming to pick you up."
"So early?"
"Yeah. Better keep your locator beacon on so we can teleport you aboard."
"Plave," Sho said over the communicator, "The term is 'beaming', not 'teleporting'."
"F$ck you, Sho."
"No, thank you, I am perfectly heterosexual."
"Okay," Taka said, "I'll wait for you guys. What's this about a great big battle I'm hearing about, anyway?"
"Long story. We'll tell it when we meet up."
"Swell."
"Eh?"
That was Leon Winchester, staring at the smoking remains of Sammy the kitten–
"DOO DOO DOO DOO! HI-YAH!"
–which weren't that of a kitten, leastways not an organic one.
It was a mechanical cat. A robotic one, to be exact, disguised as a cat. It was colored methane blue and had odd eyes that changed color rapidly from crimson red to azure blue– and stayed at the second chromatic configuration. It was despite its extensive damage (or perhaps it was because of its extensive damage) running around crazily and shrieking out in a shrill synthetic voice one single word over and over again:
"MUFFIN!"
"Eh? Ger?"
If not the infamous little deranged robot itself, it came pretty close. It was just as noisy and just as crazy–
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
–Correction: It was crazier.
"Then… if this is a decoy… Where is the real Sam?" Leon demanded.
The scene cuts to Invader-Zam4, who looks up from his computer.
"It appears that Mir's cover has been blown. I have to recall him before he is too damaged to relay the information he had obtained." He pushed a button, and Mir promptly skittered away back to his own dimension.
The setting of this chapter happens to take place a few hours before the start of The Misadventures of Ky Kiske and its accompanying side-story where Zam, Sho Tsuzuku (the real one) and Sheo Darren –though how the last was persuaded to join forces with the former wasn't too clear, not to mention, "What the hell is he doing there when he's supposed to be gone for good?"– try to save dimensions from the threat of the evil Samael Tsuzuku a.k.a. Evil Sho from The Wedding Night 2. And no, Sho is not a character invented by Sheo, but a representation of a real life person, a 'self-insert'. Just so you'd know…
Leon Winchester: "CURSE YOU, SAM! YOU GOT AWAY AGAIN BECAUSE OF THESE MEDDLING KIDS, BUT ONLY FOR THIS TIME! I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY! I SWEAR!"
"On my mark," Yuuki announced. Guns trained on the advancing ranks of Imperials even as the latter did the same, aiming for the Death Star and her accompanying defense fleet. All the Earth warships that had super beam weapons powered up while those who didn't prepared to cover the brethren while the latter recharged. The bad guys might outnumber the good guys, but the Blue Force would give the Red one hell of a surprise bloody nose for Round One.
"Miss Yuuki! We've detected a lone spaceship approaching the enemy from behind! It's not an Imperial!"
Yuuki was of a mind to ignore that. What could one ship possibly do against so many?
And then she saw the ship, and she was so startled that she actually laughed out of recognition and joy.
Space, the final frontier…
Nearly two weeks ago, a bunch of Filipinos watched Star Trek: First Contact and got inspired to do a crazy spoof with themselves as the crew.
This is the U.P.P. Vengeance. Its missions: Not to boldly go where no man has gone before...
Thus, the good ship U.P.P. Vengeance, shame of Starfleet but perhaps the most incredibly lucky and powerful ship to ever sail the cosmos. Where all other Federation starships were made to explore space –with the exception of the Defiant-class destroyer, from the outset made to blow stuff up–Vengeance had been designed to utterly fail. That it didn't– that it itself not only survived but survived so many crises and adventures, attested to the unbelievably good luck (or bad luck; you decide) of its 'dedicated' crew. It was helmed by the most mismatched bunch of people to ever serve in space command: Captain Plapla 'Plave' Vengeance, an irresponsible gaming freak who got this command simply because he was the grandson of the current leader of Starfleet and asked for a birthday present; Executive Officer Sho Tsuzuku, the illogical logician and greatest fist-fighting Vulcan-rip-off human to sail the universe; Science Officer Arvi, the hyperactive overemotional lolicon-loving sex-freak android; Helmsman Purple Dinosaur a.k.a. Riel, the guy who goes "Ramming speed!" and who keeps on dying in most every episode– and keeps coming back; Security Chief Taka Ichiko, the trigger-happy ex-Sega Black Ops commando who puts the most warlike Klingon to shame and who accounts for most of Riel's deaths; Chief Engineer Zam, the genius Irishman engineer who was also the crazier cousin of the legendary MacGyver; The Doctor, the holographic representation of Sheo Darren and perhaps the only sane male on the ship, unless someone shoves an H-game up his motherboards; Ruri-tan, the Vengeance's user-unfriendly ship-borne artificial intelligence who likes to quote Baka here and Baka there, Baka baka everywhere; the all-girl crew complement; and the bishounen security/away teams, always the only ones aside from Riel to die.
Fighting all manner of enemies –but mostly, they fought each other– the crew of the U.P.P. Vengeance sets out on their quest to save the universe from the greatest threats ever to appear in it: Themselves.
"Keptin Plave! We're approaching the enemy rear!"
"Shields up! Polarize the external hulls!" Plave commanded. "Fire the steel chairs!"
Vengeance was of course armed with standard Starfleet torpedo tubes, capable of firing both standard photon torpedoes and the new quantum torpedoes developed especially against the Borg. But these had been modified recently in order to be able to launch a new weapon accidentally discovered by the crew –actually, Plave was the first to use it– whose appearance belied its unstoppable destructive power against the Borg or their bishoujo versions the Borscht from The Misadventures of Ky Kiske.
They were steel chairs, taken from World Wrestling Entertainment. Plave was a fan of American 'professional' wrestling.
Aside from being the helmsman, Riel was also the guy who fired the ship's weapons. The Purple Dinosaur loved that aspect of his job and he excelled at it, addicted as he was to Galaga and Sonic Wings and R-Type. Vengeance could salvo-fire four steel chairs per two seconds. Riel aimed for the one weak spot in all the ships of the Empire of Nibbles: Their snacks.
Yes, Nene was right on the mark. The Empire of Nibbles was but just a clone of the aliens from Invader Zim.
The steel chairs were renowned for taking down even the biggest and toughest wrestlers of the WWE. With amazing accuracy and unbelievable power, they easily punched through shields and armor and impacted onto the cargo bays containing all the snacks the Imperials had, scattering the rice into space.
"NO!" the Imperial commanders wailed. "OUR SNACKS! OUR RICE!"
The mother ship lost control and began smashing against its escorts, its crew gone completely amok at the loss of their favorite food. The Vengeance darted past the useless hulk and began hitting the other Imperial battleships' snack storage, achieving with the expenditure of a few steel chairs the equivalent destruction wrought by a nuclear bomb.
For one long minute, Yuuki and company watched the destruction wrought by Vengeance in utter disbelief. The Imperials were trying to fight back, shooting at the Federation starship with purple laser beams (again, Nene was right on the mark). But the seemingly sub-standard-looking Vengeance shrugged off the hits or dodged them completely, and then it shot back with effect, returning fire with steel chairs and its own laser cannon which resembled Doctor Evil's death ray gun from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
"Tough little ship," Celtic Midori commented in admiration.
Yuuki raised an eyebrow at her crewwoman's comment. "Little?" The Vengeance might be small, but it was definitely one hell of a war machine. But even it couldn't do everything by itself– and even if it could, help was always welcome. "Let's lend a hand, shall we?"
"Roger!"
"Engineering, report!" Plave yelled into the mike even as Vengeance shuddered from yet another hit.
"Captain, she canna take it much longah!" Which was the expected reply, meaning 'We're A-Okay here, don't mind us'.
"Thank you!" To Riel: "Deploy the Crema De Fruta Chain Mines!"
"Yehey!"Riel pushed the appropriated button. "Die!"
Vengeance carried a number of unconventional weapons, all of them hilariously stupid-looking but insanely devastating. Among these were huge chain mines that looked like giant Filipino fruit cakes. Belay that last; they were giant Filipino fruit cakes. Vengeance could carry twelve Crema De Fruta and deployed them from a special cargo bay overhauled to be the launcher system for these warheads.
The effect was horrendous. Each Crema De Fruta smashed into a battleship, spraying armor and rice and kittens into the vacuum of space. Then the monster weapons would lock onto another ship and attack.
"Captain Plave," Ruri-tan suddenly spoke up –she was, aside from Riel and Arvi and the girls, the only one who called the captain so– "It's the Enterprise."
"What?" Plave was enraged. "That gay dude Picard? Shoot them!"
"Captain, it's not that Enterprise."
"Eh? Oh."
The NX-01 Enterprise zoomed past Vengeance at full impulse, its phase cannons and torpedo tubes roaring. Behind it were the blazing capital batteries that belonged to the rest of the Task Force catching up with Jonathan Archer and company, and behind them was the huge beam of red light that was the Death Star's superlaser tracking in on and detonating an Imperial battleship.
Within minutes, the successful back-attack of the Vengeance turned into a full-fledge offensive, the Task Force rolling back the Imperials like a broom brushes away dust and dead leaves. There weren't even any attempt to resist; the Earth warships relentlessly hammered cargo bay after cargo bay full of snacks, effectively paralyzing enemy warships with little effort. The smaller mecha and starfighters actually did more damage, going up close and delivering their precision payloads upon storage areas loaded with rice more quickly and accurately than the bigger capital ships.
Finally, the Empire had had enough. Fully half of its invasion fleet had been destroyed and its mothership was badly damaged. The senior Imperial commanders ordered a retreat, which became a rout as the Earth forces pursued until the very edge of the solar system, punishing them further even though it wasn't necessary anymore, and one final lesson to be taught: Don't mess with us– or we'll make you sorry you were ever born.
The lesson was learned in full.
The Empire of Nibbles would never again return to Earth.
"There is something about inevitability that offends human nature. Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which belie the idea that things cannot be changed. But man is also a creature prone to error, and sometimes that makes inevitable the things that he often seeks to avoid."
Tom Clancy, Debt of Honor
"Ring around the rosies, a pocket full of posies … a tissue, a tissue! We all fall down…"
That old nursery rhyme echoed within Ky's mind, like a demon given the guise of childhood memories in order to torment him. He remembered the rhyme originated from a time when the Grim Reaper stalked the world as the mysterious Black Death, when people dropped dead in the streets like flies for no apparent reason and so was all the more frightening, and neither ignorant man nor uncaring God seemed able to do anything about it.
We all fall down.
They all fell down. The Thing was too powerful for them. Rock and Hotaru and Dizzy and Ky could do nothing against something that was pure hatred and annihilation. Give up, the world seemed to tell them. Their powers were simply too small to defeat the deceit and lies that the darkness embodied. Give up.
"No," Ky murmured.
Give up.
The Thing rose above them, a Black Death come again to the world to claim them all.
Give up…
Rock and Hotaru managed to hold hands, smiling despite their coming end.
Give up…
Ky closed his eyes wearily.
"Akiramenai!"
Her blue hair undone and flying in the wind unrestrained, Dizzy stood alone and frail and helpless against the Thing. In her hands was Furaiken, the Seal of Thunder glowing faintly, the lightning sword crackling with power.
And Ky began to hope once more.
"I won't give up! I won't give up!"
Her crimson eyes blazed with fire, flames not of her Gear nature but flames of her human nature.
"I absolutely won't give up!"
So far away, surrounded by the wildly cheering girls celebrating their momentous victory, even as the Vengeance prepares to dock with the Death Star, Yuuki stirs.
Her words from the past echo back to her, spoke by another girl with the same fervor and hope and innocence and passion, the crux of a messiah.
I won't give up. I won't give up. I absolutely won't give up!
"I absolutely won't give up," she murmured back.
Within her world and without it, The Will And The Word awakens.
"Mezamete, Dizzy. Awaken and claim what is truly yours…"
Whoa-oh! Oh Angel!!
.
"Awaken, Dizzy. Awaken NOW."
The golden orb of lightning energy that materialized around her like a protective shell annihilated the nearest tentacles. The Thing reared back and howled in pain, truly injured this time. Within, the blue-haired half-Gear girl recited the final words to effect her transformation.
With a thunderclap of magical energy, the orb expanded and then broke apart.
Battle robes of the Holy Order clung to her slim body, its white folds of cloth bordered by metallic gold trim. Twin yellow ribbons decorated her long blue hair, holding them captive into her two ponytails. Upon her waist hung a silver belt buckle, and upon that buckle was one engraved word: INNOCENCE.
The mark of the mysterious power that is The Will And The Word.
She was no longer just Dizzy.
She was the Divine Messiah Gear.
She was.
The Thing attacked.
The energy wall broke its first attack. Dizzy didn't even make an effort to move or attack.
The Thing attacked her again.
She shattered its second attack completely with one single Angel Lightning.
The Thing reformed itself, but took time to do so.
Dizzy lifted Furaiken high into the air and let its shining length reach up to the sky.
"The Will And The Word."
The Thunderseal came down.
"Tenchu."
A blinding flash…
Another turn of the page…
"In general, in battle one endures through strength and gains victory through spirit… When the heart's foundation is solid, a new surge of ch'i will bring victory."
Dale Brown, Fatal Terrain
Ky cradled Dizzy in his arms. Rock and Hotaru hovered at his side.
"Dizzy?"
She opened her eyes. "Is the bad thing gone?"
"Yeah." He smiled. "You made it go away."
She smiled back. "It's good."
"Yeah."
Then Dizzy slept.
Whoa-oh! Oh Angel!!
Come greet the dawn, it's a brand new day!
Whoa-oh! Oh Angel!!
Let burn the passion that fires your soul!!
Each lonely night I get through without you becomes my victory
Each empty night I fight against the light that is my destiny
Yet, I know that having might don't mean you're right
I can't be both cruel and kind!
When nothing makes sense I look up at the clouds in the sky
They don't answer but I still ask why...
Stand tall, you won't fall!
Even a wolf gets away
Now and then run into the sun
Sharpen your claws, bare your fangs and go on!
People do fall in love
Though they may swear that the pain won't let go
Forevermore
I'll burn the flame of your dreams in my soul!
Whoa-oh! Oh Angel!!
Come greet the dawn, it's a brand new day!
Whoa-oh! Oh Angel!!
Let burn the passion that fires your soul!!
Aboard the U.P.P. Vengeance:
"Shouldn't that have been Terry who saved the day? Since it was, after all, the English ending song for the Fatal Fury OVA? Or at least Rock?"
"Riel…"
"Oh, crap! No! Taka! Please! Not in the groin, not in the–"
BANG.
"Welcome home, Taka," greeted Plave happily. "Now we're complete, we can go on with our mission!"
"Just what is our mission, Plave?" the ex-Sega Black Ops commando/assassin/gunslinger/ninja asked his captain.
"I– err, I mean, we need an original copy of Super Robot Wars MX!"
"There's one in Virra Mall at Greenhills…"
"Right! Helmsman Riel–"
"…"
"Oh, yeah, you just shot him, Taka. Medic!" Plave called.
The entire lighting system for the bridge of Vengeance went off all of a sudden– save for one pool of light, within which was a sinister man in glasses and doctor's coat who kind of reminded everyone of scary predatory doctors who prey on nurses in H-games.
"Indeed, dearies," the man said in a sinister voice that impressed Sho Tsuzuku, "I think a physical examination is called for, ladies."
All the girls scream and blush and run like hell with the doctor in pursuit.
"Uh, oh, the Doctor seemed to have gotten too much ADV exposure…"
"The Will And The Word. The ability to alter reality –everything we conceive and move within– by summoning a state of existence conceived by the wielder and then by force of will and power bringing that alternate reality to life. In layman's terms: 'What the wielder wants to happen shall happen.' Closest approximations to this power would be the 'Gate of Discernment' of Kageyama Reiji/Shadow/Nazo and the 'Marble Phantasm' of Arcuied Brumstead. However, the level to which The Will And The Word can be exerted to is suggested to be unlimited, surpassing the previous.
"The Will And The Word is originally inherent upon only one being: The young Filipino author, the so-called Journeyman. Sheo Darren. A weaker version is known to be wielded by Yuuki Darren, Sheo's 'daughter'. Further expansion of this power are the mind trick used by the corrupted Person With Many Aliases in The Keeper of the System and the power that brings forth the 'Divine Messiah Gear' Dizzy in Revolution: It's Not What It Seems. However, only Sheo seems to have full command and control of The Will And The Word.
"As its true bearer, Sheo is perhaps the most powerful being in this dimension. Indeed he may be considered to be God, though he himself denies this. However, due to self-imposed moral constraints, he has intentionally limited his use of The Will And The Word. Sheo reportedly disappeared after the last battle against Samael Tsuzuku in The Wedding Night 2. Unconfirmed rumors state that he has been seen in The Misadventures of Ky Kiske.
"Therefore, the only remaining bearer of The Will And the Word in this dimension is Yuuki Darren…"
The girl tossed the Newtype Magazine aside.
"So, Yuuki-chan is the only one with The Will And The Word, eh?"
She smiled evilly. With only a thought and a will, she consigned the magazine into nothingness.
Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Glasses glint in the fading light.
This woman had The Will And The Word, too.
"You've just been outdated, Yuuki-chan."
