Disclaimer -Spoilers for The Day of the Doctor - 50th Anniversary Special


Sleeplessness

The Doctor ambled into the kitchen area of the TARDIS wearing loose pants and a soft fitting cotton tee. He ran a hand through his already wild bed hair, disrupting it further. A yawn cracked across his face and his body protested at the movement, but his brain was still wide awake after their earlier flight from yet another hostile species. This one, the Krakksis, had mistaken Jack for the son of their deity as he emerged from a round of skinny-dipping in what was later determined to be a sacred pool. It was all incredibly amusing until the Doctor and Rose popped up wearing snorkels (the bottom of the pool had the most fascinating rock formations and they all had agreed that they wanted to check them out) and the locals took them for demons about to attack. Before they had time to register what had happened Rose and the Doctor were bound and Jack was whisked off to the high priest. None of them were particularly concerned at this point (Having gone through a similar variation countless times), but when several hours passed and Jack's repeated attempts at convincing the natives that they were his acolytes went nowhere, concern started to creep in. When the High Priest finally determined that Jack must be an imposter (since at no time would their deity have something as intolerable as brown-eyed lanky things with long tubes as their breathing orifice) and sentenced him to death (which once again didn't take), the Doctor and Rose knew they needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. It was the dense jungle growth and lack of moonlight that hindered their way back to the TARDIS. They had made it safely back and disappeared before they all collapsed on the couch in the control room. From there it was a unanimous decision to just head to bed and figure out where to go next tomorrow. Even now, Jack and Rose were curled up in the bed the three shared, but within two minutes of lying down next to them, the Doctor's brain kicked in and started running madly. He tried to quiet it using different breathing techniques, and concentrating on the sound of his lovers' breathing, before finally resorting to counting Andorran purple sheep jumping over a fence, but nothing worked. Stifling a groan (silly human body and its muscle strains) he sat up, pulled on the closest clothing he could find and set off for a snack, hoping the old trick of warm milk would somehow quiet his noisy brain.

Warm milk and a piece of banana bread from Jack's latest batch, which should do it. The Doctor thought as a rumble from his stomach agreed with the assessment.

I have heated a mug of hot cocoa and warmed a slice of banana bread for you, my Doctor.

The TARDIS's voice in his head was something that still startled him on occasion, even though she had now been communicating with the three of them (making her opinion known sometimes quite loudly) for close to six months. He and Jack heard her as an actual voice – feminine, sardonic, and vaguely mechanical, while Rose 'heard' her as emotions and images. The Doctor knew that Rose still felt slightly left out at not being able to hear the words she spoke, but he had to admit that there were times he would gladly trade communication methods with her, if only so he didn't have to be on the receiving side of her sometimes biting commentary. To be fair though, she only gets critical when she thinks one of us has done or is going to do something stupid.

You have a tendency to jump in without thinking about the consequences, My Doctor. My Capitan and My Wolf are just as bad, but you should know better after all this time.

"I think about it," the Doctor pouted before answering her out loud. "I just usually dismiss them as irrelevant. Besides, how are we ever going to explore if we don't take some minor risks."

I would hardly consider barely escaping being skinned alive to be a minor risk, My Doctor. The Krakksians would have flayed you and staked you out for the wildlife. It was a good thing that My Wolf has taken to carrying a small blade in her swim things. Without her, you would not have been able to escape the nets.

"And it's so much fun watching her pull it out of her bikini top," the Doctor grinned unrepentantly as he sat down at the table and pulled the cocoa and plate containing the banana bread closer. He closed his eyes in pure bliss as the he slowly chewed his first bite. Banana bread is better than the finest ambrosia, especially with Andorran honey.

I don't understand the fascination that you and my Captain have with my Wolf's mammary glands. As she is unable to bear children they are merely another bit of flesh.

The Doctor quickly swallowed the bite in his mouth and took a too large sip of the scalding cocoa, welcoming the flash pain of his throat to the deep pain of remembering the night that Rose told them that due to an amplified infection caught while jumping worlds (trying to find ME!) she was unable to have children. She said she had come to terms with it, but every once in a while the Doctor would see a deep sadness as she talked to the children on the worlds they visited or in the way she would interact with her brother. It was a combination of guilt and anger that made him say in a quiet but firm voice, "Do not under ANY circumstances say or show something like that to Rose or Jack. Hell, I don't want to hear it ever again. Rose may not be able to bear children from Jack or me, but there is NOTHING on her that is a 'mere' anything. It was something that was taken from her and I will NOT have her reminded of something that must have been incredibly difficult to deal with alone. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

I am sorry, my Doctor. There was real contrition in the TARDIS's tone. It was a statement that I was unaware was so filled with confliction. I am still learning this method of communication. I meant it to query as to why both you and my Captain are intrigued with her mammary glands. I have noticed this behavior across all space and time in most humanoid species. I was… curious.

"Rasillion save me from curious TARDIS's," the Doctor ran another hand through his hair and took another sip of the cocoa. "It has to do with sexual attraction. It ties into the primal concepts of nurture, safety, and unconditional love." He grinned. "Plus they are soft, warm and fun to play with."

I see.

"Do you?" the Doctor asked curiously. "I was under the impression that TARDIS's were essentially sexless."

We are. I am. But if you know this, why do all of you refer to me in the female sense?

"You know, I never really thought about it." The Doctor replied. "Even before I could hear you, I still thought of you as my 'old girl'. I think it may have something to do with the Earth custom of referring to ships designed for exploration in the female sense. Now that I can hear you, your voice registers in my head with a timbre and tone that have more feminine qualities than masculine."

Interesting. Your brain is translating my communication with you, so it must be the subconscious receptors that are interpreting it with a female intonation.

"Undoubtably. However, that makes me wonder. You never communicated this directly with me in the past in any of my incarnations, or to any of my companions. I never knew it was possible. Is it something new, possibly tied into the way that you grew by feeding off the emotions of me, Rose, and Jack?"

The connection that formed when my Wolf absorbed my energy and subsequently restored my Captain to life created the essential pathways to allow a direct communication with them in a way that was most accommodating to their natural psychic progression. I am taking advantage of those connections as I find fascinating the complexities of human communication.

"That's brilliant and clever. But it doesn't answer the question of me."

Your counterpart and by extension you, have always had the capability of this kind of communication with me. However, it will not be until your counterpart's eleventh incarnation that he will even think to do so and the thirteenth incarnation before he understands how. It seemed prudent to accelerate the time-table with you as you will not have any future regenerations.

"Thank you, I think. Though it's sad, actually. This kind of communication could only have helped in the aftermath of Gallifrey's extinction."

Gallifrey is not extinct.

"What!?"

Gallifrey is not extinct. It is time-locked. Your counterparts war Doctor, tenth, eleventh and twelfth's incarnations worked together to lock it rather than destroy it. However, due to the nature of the time the act is erased from the memory of your ninth and tenth incarnations, and by the time your eleventh discovers it, he needs must regenerate. Your counterpart's twelfth incarnation will seek to find a way to restore it.

The Doctor sat at the table shell-shocked as he tried to absorb this information. Gallifrey still alive… but there is still nothing there for me. I am trapped in a parallel world and I only have one life to me.

My Doctor, are you unwell? Do you require assistance? Shall I wake my Wolf or my Captain?

"No!" The Doctor said quickly. "I am fine; I just need a moment to absorb the information. Gallifrey … has not fallen... Brilliant." A piece of the Doctor's soul he thought forever frozen warmed at the news.

I regret to say we are unable to access the original universe at this time. It may not be possible for you to see it in your current form. There was sympathy in the TARDIS's tone.

"I know," the Doctor replied and downed the last dregs of his cocoa. "But… you know, it doesn't matter. The fact that Gallifrey falls no more is enough. I didn't destroy it. I DIDN"T DESTROY IT!" The last sentence came out as a near shout as a sense of giddy joy washed over the Doctor. Just as fast as the happiness spread, exhaustion followed immediately on its heels and a huge yawn cracked loudly in the kitchen.

Your mind is now sufficiently calmed. I would suggest returning to your bed before you are reduced to sleeping on the table.

"Why am… I so tired… now? So happy a moment ago."

I added a slight sedative to your cocoa in an effort to ease your transition to sleepiness. However, I had not anticipated its reaction with the sudden flood of endorphins in your system when I spoke of Gallifrey. It is reacting quickly to shut your mind down for rest. Please my Doctor, you may want to return quickly to bed. I will make the route short for you. I am sorry for the miscalculation but I promise there will be no lasting side effects.

"Is… alright… know .. why you did… Thannnnks," The Doctor stumbled toward the door and was relieved when the TARDIS was true to her word and he stumbled directly from the kitchen into his bedroom. Pulling off the t-shirt, he crawled back into the bed, sighing in bliss as Rose instinctively turned into him and Jack's hand sought out his hip. He fell asleep with the words "Gallifrey Lives" on his lips.

It does indeed, my Doctor… and you will see it again. Just not in this form. I promise this to you.