Heyyy this fic is already complete on AO3 by username justmeandmysillystuff. Go find it there if you want to read it in one go!
Back on Earth, when he was a little kid, Lance's family used to do many road trips. Almost every weekend they liked to go to the beach, even if the nearest coast was almost two hours away. His parents deserved a cake for their patience, since being locked inside a car with five little kids for that much time was surely a test for the nerves. Or, rather than patience, it was their creativity what kept them away from domestic violence.
Through the years, they had come up with numerous games to play while driving. Including the classics like counting red cars vs. blue cars or I spy with my little eye, and his parents' as under the sleeve: let's see who can stay quiet the longest. Lance was really bad at that game.
His favorite, though, was a made-up silly competition they played every time, in which each of the kids had to pick a toy and leave it sitting on the space between the wheel and the windshield. The last one to fall from its place when the car moved, won. It was a pretty intense deal, and they took it way too seriously. Lance's toy spiderman was a good competitor, but not as good as Gina's barbie. Sometimes, their father would get so into it that he would make the car take some unnecessary sharp turns to get the dolls to fall. Which, of course, didn't really amuse their mother.
The trip was part of the adventure, the kids looked forward to get into the car every Saturday morning. They genuinely enjoyed it. The car was a confined space for family and laughter, silly songs and ocasional stops at McDonald's drive-through.
Trips in open space were nothing alike.
There was no radio to sing along, no blue cars or red cars to count, and his little eye couldn't spy anything but ugly rocks and asteroids. It sounded ridiculous, Lance knew. If he happened to jump through another weird quintessence hole and somehow meet his five-year-old self, he wouldn't believe him if he told him he had gotten tired of space.
But as he stared through the window right then, without the hum of kids chattering in the background and no big yellow "M" to spot in the distance, he couldn't help but feeling sickeningly nostalgic .
"I'm so bored"
Of course he couldn't use that word with his current trip mates, so he distorted it up a little.
"We know" bun Keith answered swiftly, never taking his eyes off his piloting "You said it three times in the last fifteen minutes already"
"And I mean it!" He threw his hands in the air. With one Keith at the wheel and the other one moping in the corner, he had to liven up the room on the extent of three people "Seriously, are you always so quiet? How did my other self teach you to talk? Come on, repeat after me: Hola, hola !"
"I'm not a parrot, Lance"
"It would be funnier if you were"
"You don't need me to be a parrot to actually have a conversation" He smirked "I mean, with how noisy you are, you could probably get a piece of asteroid to talk back to you"
The chortle raising up his own chest took him by surprise.
"And that piece of asteroid would be more than lucky to befriend me, thank you very much"
"Befriend you? Be careful with it, we can't afford another PTSD therapist"
"Uhm, rude !"
Bun Keith was smiling to himself as well, giggling even. His hands were tight on the lion's controllers but his posture was lax, relaxed and comfortable as he talked. Lance was mesmerized. He almost didn't recognize those eyes if they weren't frowning.
"So...what do you suggest?"
The question caught him off-ward.
"What?"'
"You said you were bored, what do you say we do about it?"
He blinked, answerless for once.
"Uhm...I don't know. To be honest I didn't think I would get this far"
"Well, I do have a suggestion" his voice sounded playful, mischievous, a ring Lance was sure he had heard some few occasions before.
"Oho? What do you have in mind?"
"How about a muzzling tournament?"
The offense wasn't late to kick in.
"Hey! That was uncalled for!"
Again, bun Keith simply smiled. And much to his own amusement, Lance did too.
There was something different about his mockery. It still had the same wicked, sassy style, that finger-in-the-sore kind of tease they had always played ad nauseam. But there was something about the tone, the humor, the overall mood; that was nothing like their usual quarrels.
For once, Lance was actually enjoying the exchange.
And it wasn't like he didn't enjoy getting under his Keith's skin whenever he had the chance, but it was another label of joy. He felt comfortable, at ease even. The rush of competitiveness and the need to outsmart him being just a funny tickle in his stomach.
"Jokes aside, there actually is something I want to try" skilled fingers shifted between the holograms "The first planet we need to check is half an hour away...or five minutes with the new propellers Katie and Hunk built for me"
Lance saw himself gaping through the windshield's reflection.
"Are you for real?"
"It'll be much quicker.I don't want to wander space forever, my Lance will have a fit if I'm not there by bedtime"
He decided to ignore that last comment, turning to look at mullet Keith instead.
"Ha! Did you hear that, Keith? Your other self is actually so much cooler than you! Why can't you be like him?"
To that, the younger red paladin just shrugged. He rested his helmeted temple against the window, staring into the passing stars with obvious disinterest. Lance wanted to feel annoyed, he wanted to grab that petty head by the mullet and force him to look at him when he talked, to react, to do something . Maybe, he wanted him to smile the way bun Keith did.
As he turned to look at the pilot, however, he got no rest from that frown. Bun Keith's vivid expression had dropped to match his other self's pout as he saw him sitting there in the corner, playing with his knife as if he could cut himself out from the scene.
And that's when it hit Lance.
He couldn't just go and ask mullet Keith to be just like bun Keith. Because bun Keith wasn't supposed to be his role model, he wasn't his cool big brother that was just more likeable and charming. He was the same actual person. The smiles, the jokes and disbelief might have fooled him, but bun Keith was just his Keith, either he wanted or not.
He usually didn't believe in those sci-fi theories, but he couldn't help but wonder what butterfly had fluttered its wings for things to take such a sharp turn in that reality.
What made them act so opposite, if they were so similar?
"Well...ready to travel so fast your eyes will go dry?" Bun Keith was back, and so was the devious smirk on his face "Or are you a chicken?"
Lance couldn't get it, they were exactly the same.
Bun Keith looked simply happier.
When Lance first saw planet Yogr Z, he thought it was an ugly stain someone had forgotten to wipe from the cockpit window. It was just so small , almost invisible between the nebula if it weren't for that murky color green. He didn't know if the turbo speed had messed up his brain a little, or if it really did look like an oversized lost pea in the middle of space.
Of course he said all of these remarks out loud, and made sure both Keiths new exactly just how pathetic he thought Yogr Z could be.
Only that, once he was forced to get off the ship and actually step on it, he immediately regretted his underestimation.
Yogr Z might have been a tiny piece of nuisance in the middle of nowhere. But Yogr Z also happened to have the most horrendous surface Lance had ever stepped on.
To begin with, the atmosphere was so foggy and dense they couldn't even scan it from their ship, and they were forced to land and check it by foot. And the smell, hell did it smell . The air stunk like sulfur and it burned on its way through the nose. Lance couldn't remember ever holding his breath for so long.
The greatest issue though, was its ground. What from the distance seemed like tupid foliage ended up being nothing but a gooey, thick layer of some weird green quicksand it was almost impossible to walk through; let alone landing a spaceship. So while bun Keith continued to orbit around, the younger duo had to actually stick their feet into that revolting soil that looked like someone barfed Altean breakfast.
"This, is the worst planet we've seen so far" Lance felt the need to emphasize his hatred, as his foot got stuck yet again in the intransitable slime "What is this thing even? is the whole planet made of this? Or did a giant space creature sneeze on it?"
Keith turned around, eyes rolling as he saw his teammate trying to unstick his boot from that sticky substance yet again.
"Complaining won't make it any less terrible, you know?" He said, unamused, yet made himself useful by trying to help Lance out of his trap.
"Complaining helps fill the silence"
The air was so dense, so crushing and laborious it was hard to speak. They were so tired by the mere effort of breathing and fighting the ground with every step that they ended up using the communication devices in their helmets, instead of screaming at each other through the fog.
"I happen to like that silence" Grabbing the blue paladin by the armpits and pulling, the soil finally released the grip on his feet with a loud, gross plop.
Lance almost lost his balance, flailing his arms a little until he stood as stable as a man possibly could in such an unstable surface.
He would have thanked his savior for helping him out, but that had been the fourth time that happened since they landed on that stupid planet. And complimenting Keith just didn't happen to be his favorite thing to do.
"How long do we even have to stay here?" He whined, cleaning the green drops that had jumped onto his armor.
"Well, if you actually listened to anything me or the other me say, you would know Yogr Z's area can be fully checked in a bit less than two hours"
"Two hours? That's like, two times what he have already walked!"
"We've been here for fifteen minutes, Lance"
There were no buildings, mountains or figures of any kind for Lance's groan to echo through the distance, but it somehow did anyways.
"Ugh, just bury me here already and let me die. This place is disgusting"
Keith sighed, not even turning to spare an annoyed glance.
"Not as disgusting as Earth though"
It was supposed to be a mutter, Lance could tell, sort of like talking to himself. He hadn't meant to be heard, and he certainly hadn't meant to get an answer.
But Lance had definitely heard him, and of course he had a lot to say about it.
"Uhm, excuse me? Earth is great?" He skipped through the goo so that he was standing next to the offender "Don't tell me you are wishing to live up to your Galra heritage"
"What? no!" Keith huffed "I'm just saying, Earth isn't all that good"
Lance gasped, taking those words to heart as a personal affront.
"What do you mean it isn't all that good!? We have so many amazing landscapes and everything! Beaches, jungles, freaking volcanoes! Dude, what could possibly be bad enough to play that down?"
"I dunno, mosquitoes were annoying"
Lance had to physically stop moving, his whole body devoted to staring at him in disbelief.
"Mosquitoes?" He repeated, voice pitching with exasperation "You are willing to ignore your own home planet's beauty for mosquitoes !?"
Keith kept walking, grunting to himself, way too busy trying not to get stuck in the mud.
"I mean, there's mosquitoes, moths, rats, insufferable people …"
Lance didn't miss the addressing side-glance at the end of the sentence, but he chose to ignore it in favor of his rambling.
"Did you even live on earth? I would give anything to skate at the park with my friends, or light a bonfire on the beach, or celebrate christmas! And rain! I hella miss rain!" He grabbed his own head, trying to tame the memories "Walking home on a rainy day, listening to music and splashing on the puddles, knowing I would come home to a worrying mother and a warm plate of food? Man, Earth was paradise"
For once, Keith broke his focused march and turned his head to look at him. It didn't last long, just a quick glance and he was back on his steady track. But Lance was able to grasp it, to see those wide, baffled eyes staring blankly, foreign to such levels of passion.
"You sound like a tourist agent" He said.
"Damn yeah I do! If there's one thing I regret about choosing to explore outer space, is I didn't explore my own home first"
There was a brief moment of quietness Lance's impatience insisted on making seem longer. It wasn't exactly silence, considering the howling wind, his own ragged breath within inside helmet and the disgusting plopping of their feet on the gooey mud. But Yogr Z's unpleasant noises weren't what Lance was expecting to hear. They weren't enough to fill in for their lack of interaction, nor to answer the arsenal of questions he had stored through the chatter.
"What places do you want to visit?" Keith must have felt the foul too since, surprisingly, it was him who shook the conversation awake.
"Right now, anywhere on Earth sound just fine" Lance wrapped his complaints in a joke, almost tripping into yet another wobbling patch of goo "But if I really could choose a destination...I don't know, I always wanted to explore more of South America"
"Didn't you live in Cuba?"
"Yeah, but I want to see more . Some years ago, my brother and his friends went backpacking to the south and they took the sickest photos ever, I swear. I know it sounds stupid to say I want to visit Machu Picchu when I've literally spent the last two years at the other side of the milky way, but you get the point" He heard Keith hum in agreement "What about you?"
For a few seconds, he couldn't perceive breathing at the other side of the line.
"Me?"
Lance made a show of arching his left brow, but he didn't think it was really visible through the fog.
"No, Zarkon"
Keith huffed, smiling. Not quite a laugh but almost there.
"I don't know what to tell you, I didn't really do much while I was there"
"What do you mean you didn't do much!? Dude, you were one of the top pilots at the garrison! Don't you miss being the teacher's pet, at least?"
"The teacher's pet?" Keith snorted "Lance, I was kicked out"
"That's even more impressive! You got yourself the role of the badass, genius pilot drop-out!"
"Yeah, only to spend the next bunch of months all alone in the middle of the fucking desert"
Alone in the middle of the fucking desert!
Lance could perfectly recall one of his classmates at the garrison saying those exact same words. He remembered waking up one morning to an email from the headquarters, congratulating him for ascending to a fighting-class pilot; joy bubbling in his stomach and pride dripping from his mouth as he told Hunk on their way to training, only to be slapped out from his haughtiness when he heard the rumors.
Alone in the middle of the fucking desert. That's where Keith Kogane, the best pilot in their class and Lance's biggest challenge, was currently hiding at.
Of course those were just gossips. Of course there was no reason to believe it was actually true. Yet, as he got over the disappointment, he found it way too easy to just swallow it factly. It wasn't hard to imagine, it fit. The too-good-for-you outcast, angry and resentful towards the institution that betrayed him, now aloof and fighting solo in a distant shack.
And even though he used the same words, even though it was supposed to endorse the picture Lance had already painted in his head, the way in which Keith said it suddenly made it different. He stared at him and blinked several times, trying to readjust his thoughts, but the change was obvious and stubborn to remain.
Alone, in the middle of the fucking desert.
"Oh, well yeah, but…" He cleared his throat, looking away "There must have been something nice about it, right? What did you do while you were there? I mean, besides searching around the wilderness trying to find the Blue Lion and mothman"
"What the hell is mothman?"
"What the hell do you mean what the hell is mothman!?" Screaming had him inhaling way too much of that planet's sulfurous air "Dude!"
"I don't know what you are talking about"
"Mothman! The moth but a man!"
"Is it a superhero or something?"
Lance face-palmed his helmet.
"Uhm, no? It's like, a monster some weirdos think they see when they're high or something"
Keith's face twisted into scorn, not quite offended but rather suspicious.
"And why would I have anything to do with that?"
"I don't know, you have a mothman vive" Lance shrugged it off, wanting him to let the topic go already "Nevermind, it was just a joke"
"So is it like, a boogeyman kind of thing?"
He didn't seem to want to let go.
"More like a bigfoot kind of thing"
"Does it turn into a moth with every full moon, or is it a permanent deal?"
Lance felt like his leg was being pulled, and not from the sticky soil.
"Are you messing with me? Or did I really just introduce you to a new hobby?"
"I'm serious"
He didn't sound serious.
"I don't know, man. It's kind of like a moth humanoid, tall and ugly!"
"Oh, so like you?"
A gasp broke through the communicators, long and high to the point of painful.
" Excuse me ?" It sounded more like a squeak than a voice "Have I just been compared to mothman ?"
Keith walked faster and away from him, hiding his obvious smirk by facing forwards.
"Maybe"
"Why the fuck though!?"
"I can joke too"
"Could have fooled me!"
Lance's feet quickened their pace as well, almost unconsciously, not wanting to be left behind. He didn't know if it was the exhaustion or if the surface was really getting even softer, but walking kept becoming harder and harder with every step.
Keith moved steadily in front of him, the red feet of his armor disappearing into the green goop with every heavy step. He looked funny from behind, with his knees bent awkwardly and his arms flailing to grip on some balance, almost as if he were trying to ride a mechanical bull. Lance felt like it was his duty to comment on it but, to be honest, he was the one holding the record of getting stuck in the mud so far.
He could feel himself smiling. Which was unexpected, considering he was stuck at a fastidious planet with a fastidious person and his mood was supposed to act up accordingly. No matter how hard he tried to think of a more suiting adjective for the conversation, his pride and his fondness had come to terms by considering it pleasant . And once it had died out, once the chattering has ceased and they found themselves in the noisy silence of that sloppy atmosphere, he had to make an effort not to fuel it back to life.
"I kind of miss music"
But Keith kept jumping back in. Looking away from him, walking a few meters forwards and overall acting like talking to him was just another part of the mission, yet fanning the flames nevertheless.
"Music?"
"Yeah"
Lance could hear softness in his voice, unknown softness he could only imagine as a smile on his face. He walked faster, trying to get a glimpse and tease him.
"I'm going to bet all my chips and say you were a hardcore punk/emo fan"
As he was about to reach him, however, Keith sped up again, dodging his teasing glances.
"Against popular belief: no, I didn't go through that phase"
"Really? No MCR? Panic?" He shook his head "Don't tell me you were a Simple Plan kid"
"Neither"
"I'll have to go with David Bowie then"
Lance's long legs were finally good for something, and stretching his steps a bit he managed to get a glimpse of Keith's thrown back character. He seemed pouty, almost offended, because how dare someone make him feel surprised?
"Actually, yes. How did you know?"
"Don't act all funny on me, Keith, you can't fool me. I always knew the Mullets Illuminati was a thing"
Lance had never felt prouder of making someone chuckle.
"What the fuck, Lance?" His voice was different when he was laughing, so were his eyes, so were the twists and turns in Lance's gut "I like rock music in general, nothing to do with the mullet"
Maybe, being the goofball wasn't all that bad.
"Oh, so a rock n' roller? Should have seen it coming" He said "My taste is sort of weird, my playlists are quite a ride"
"I would have betted my soul to the devil you were all about, I don't know, modern angry women screaming about their exes"
He couldn't help it. Making Keith laugh had been a victory, one proud point he had scored over his rival. But easy comes easy goes, and next minute they were equal again as he threw back his head in laughter.
"I think you are being way too specific, how many artists even fit into that category?"
"You'd be surprised"
Lance bumped his shoulder against his, the metal of their armors clinking loud and sharp through the softer noises of Yogr Z. He took the chance to walk ahead of him a little, even if the soil's consistency was against the idea. But Keith's determined nature had him moving with the drive of a plow, and Lance wanted to blame the planet's dizzying fumes for imagining he seemed to be picking up speed whenever he picked his own.
"What happens? You tired?"
Of course it hadn't been the fumes.
"Nope!" with three purposely long strides he was suddenly standing some few feet away "Why? Are you?"
Between the ragged, exhausted breaths coming through the speakers, there was a rabid, coarse "No!"
And that was it.
Lance sprinted forwards, Keith followed hot on his heels, and in no second the Red Lion was long forgotten and they were racing around an unknown planet.
"Come on, mullet boy! Speed up!" Sweat was rolling down his temples, and the acid air of that awful atmosphere wasn't really meant to be breathed in heavy puffs; but Lance was already high on the challenge, and he wasn't going to back down "We are never going to finish this hell of a mission if you don't hurry, it's all your fault"
"My fault!?" Never had he heard the red paladin's voice get so pitched "It's you who gets stuck in the mud all the damn-!"
Lance didn't know which of all the planets in the entire cosmos had aligned for Keith to stick his foot into a remarkably soft portion of goo right then, but next thing he knew the guy's frown was stuck in the mud and Lance was laughing his soul off.
"Oh my god" His mouth tasted like sulfur and musty clay as he gasped for air, but he couldn't stop himself "Why don't this stupid mecha suits come with an integrated camera?"
"Fuck you" Keith spit some of the green mud, lapping the air as he tried to rinse the taste off his tongue.
"Need any help?" Oh was Lance enjoying himself right then.
"Of course not" Keith managed to get back his balance, resting some weight on his arms. But as soon as he tried to get back on his feet and his pride, he realized the smelly quicksand had no preference for feet, and had started to swallow his hands as well. Lance was wheezing "Stop laughing, dumbass! It's not funny!"
"Come here, stupid"
He ducked in front of him, carefully as not to get stuck as well, and tried to pull Keith's arm away from the ground's insistent grip.
"I'm going to kill you"
"Hey! I'm helping you! These kids nowadays with their bad manners…"
"Ouch! You are hurting me!"
"I'm trying my best!"
"You are not trying hard enough!"
With his buttons pushed to the very end, Lance yanked Keith's arm with the force only his defiance could provide and the soil let go with a noisy pop. But inertia was a funny, vengeful force, and before he could even brag he was falling on his butt, pulling Keith forwards with him as well.
This time they didn't take turns to react. With an almost choreographic symmetry, they both blinked once, twice, and fell into a fit of laughter that did nothing but sink them even further into the goo.
Lance couldn't breathe. Each time he tried to stop his eyes fell on Keith, on the wrinkles at the corner of his shut eyes and his mouth hanging impossibly open, and he was back at it again, chortling like a child. His stomach hurt, his body was wrecked with exhaustion and his limbs heavy with clinging rests of mud; but his chest felt so light, almost weightless. Almost floating.
"I'm going to kill you" Keith's threats had never sounded so theatrical, so foreign to the look in his eyes
"Too late I've been dead for years"
"Fuck off" He said, even if it was him who had to fuck off.
It was him who had his knees at each side of Lance's legs. It was him who was leaning forwards, hands stuck in the ground once again. And it was him who wouldn't stop staring so intensely, eyes bright within the fog, shining with a rare purple hue Lance had failed to notice before.
"You have some crap on your face" He rusted his abashment into scoffing, chuckling lowly "Here, let me…"
This time, Keith didn't deny his help. He stayed still, watching numbly as Lance pressed his thumbs onto the high of his cheekbones, swiping the dirt away. He did it purposely slow, purposely soft, purposely creating the atmosphere for something more than just a kids' game.
Keith's adam's apple bobbed, and Lance eyes followed its every movement.
He knew what he was doing. He knew hearts didn't speed without a reason, that Keith's skin felt warm beneath his touch and that it wasn't just Yogr Z's air that was making his head spin. He knew he was leaning forwards, closer than shame allowed, pleasier than pride should permit. He knew what he wanted and, for once, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Keith's face seemed to be going through passive panic, relaxed and easy, wrapped neatly around some turbulent thoughts. His eyes gave him away, or perhaps not. It was impossible to be sure, when he was so close all his features were blending into one, getting in and out of focus, losing every one of their properties. Maybe it was the powerful eye of a sharpshooter, maybe wishful thinking, but Lance swore he could see right through him.
Because for the first time in every time, he didn't feel like that cargo pilot who got way too lucky. He had nothing to prove, no one to impress. In that moment, with no need for challenges or jokes, Keith and he were equal. They were breathing the same air, dealing with the same messed-up voices in their heads; and if his gut was right and Keith was really feeling the same way he did right then, then Lance felt bloody powerful.
But what power was swiftly detached, unrooted like bad weed and thrown away as Keith suddenly stood up, wiping off the mud and Lance's wonder from himself.
"Come on, we can't keep fooling around all day" He said, voice cold against the planet's mist "We need to find the Red Lion"
If only Lance could move.
The first thing Lance did as soon as they were back at the castle was taking a shower. A long, long shower. Back on Earth, whenever he felt like he needed to decompress he filled himself a bathtub and stayed in there for a couple of hours. But, unfortunately, Altean showers didn't have that function. So he simply stood under the falling water, letting it run down his spine, temperature cold enough to actually feel something .
The trip back was the most silent Lance had been in his entire life. The exploration of Yogr Z felt nothing like a mission, but more of like one of those dreams one remembers by bits, vague and jumbled and somewhat surreal. Once he was back aboard with bun Keith, he simply sat at his corner of the cockpit and stared quietly through the window. It wasn't even theatrical muteness, it wasn't a petty attempt of arousing suspicion, attention or pity. Lance's genuine silence was unsettling and unnatural, like a tree giving out the wrong fruit, rotten from the core. But it was real. And not even Katie's propellers and the speed of sound could make the trip seem shorter.
As soon as they landed back inside he left a trail of armor parts on his way to the bathroom and disappeared for about an hour. The water brought back that planet's acid stink, Lance could smell it coming from his hair and merging with the mist, intruding. He wanted it off. Cupping soap into his hands he washed it all throughout his body, his arms, his chest, his calves. He scrubbed and scrubbed, thoroughly, nails getting involved and scratching as the stench didn't seem to go away. The more he cleaned, the dirtier he felt. The water did little to help as he rubbed at every corner of his skin and hair, as he filled in his mouth and spat, trying to get that taste away. It was disgusting. He could see the drain sucking away the rests of green, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't rinse the purple.
When the time came to have dinner the last thing he wanted to see was goop. Or, at least, that's what he thought until he got into the kitchen.
Lance ignored him, sitting at the opposite end of the table, right next to his Hunk. He let his friend hand him a bowl and reached out to grab the serving pipe to pretend he felt like eating. He was hungry, actually, the mission had him starving. But as he stared down at the dish he felt like food had never seemed so unappealing, and he ended up playing with it rather than eating for a while.
Sitting diagonally to him, there were his double and bun Keith, arguing over what looked like a book they were fighting to get a grip on. Despite everyone's complaints, Lance found himself absently immersed in their little quarrel. He didn't really know what it was about, he didn't feel like asking. But the familiarity of bickering voices kept him at ease. And seeing at least one pair of dark frowny eyes in the room made it easier to avoid the ones he was actually trying to ignore.
"I'm telling you, blue goes better with golden! It has to be blue!"
"No it doesn't!" an angry finger pressed onto the color sample-book, pointing at a deep shade of red "carmine would look just as good, if not better!"
"No, no, no, no, no, nope!" older Lance flipped through the colorful pages "This one, royal blue! It's fancy as fuck!"
"We don't need the napkins to be fancy , Lance! We need them to match with the golden decorations, blue will just make it look dull!"
"You are dull!"
Everyone else stared at the scene with mild irritation, but continued eating nonetheless. Only the green paladins offered some sort of reaction, Pidge mocking older Lance by mutely copying him as Katie laughed onto her hand.
"Uh, guys, not to be rude or anything but..." Lance turned to the sound of Hunk's voice, but saw him munching instead of talking. Only then he realized it was the bearded version talking "Isn't it like, too soon to start arguing over the wedding already? I mean, we are still year lights away from Earth"
Bun Keith groaned.
"We don't know how much time we'll have next time we visit. We need to make sure we have everything ready to get it done quickly, unless we don't want to invite the Galra empire to the ceremony…"
"And are the napkins really such a big deal?" Pidge had the audacity to ask, spoon still hanging from her mouth.
The answer was simultaneous and immediate:
"YES!"
As he slowly began to eat, Lance wondered if his arguments with Keith were always so ridiculous. For the record, royal blue looked definitely better.
"And what about this one?" Allura butted in, pointing at a purple page "Old mauve? It looks pretty, and it's basically both red and blue"
The couple looked at her, then at the sample book, then at each other.
"It's perfect!"
Older Lance chuckled and leaned forwards, letting Bun Keith meet him halfway for a quick, improvised kiss.
And it was right there, invested in that scene everyone else had chosen to ignore, that the youngsters' eyes crossed paths again.
Just like it had happened that morning at the lion's room, when they saw the couple hugging and saying their goodbyes before the mission, they caught each other staring from across the room. Painfully ironic, disgustingly poetic. Two angry gazes, avoiding one another, now united by the sight of devotion.
Keith looked away and dropped his spoon, meal not quite finished yet as he stood up. Lance was about to do the same thing, suddenly stuffed and ready to go to sleep. But as he made up his mind and tried to stand up, he saw Keith casually sitting next to him instead, bowl in hand as he started to eat again.
Lance deadpanned, looking around, trying to see if anyone else had found that weird. But no one seemed to be paying enough attention, either too tired or too caught up in their own thoughts to notice.
He entered full defense mode, brow knitted and posture stiff, comebacks queuing behind his tongue. Whatever Keith was doing wouldn't catch him off-guard this time.
He wouldn't let himself be pushed around. He wouldn't let himself raw and vulnerable in front of his enemies. He wouldn't be humiliated again.
He was ready.
But Keith didn't attack. He simply sat there, eating slowly, eyes in every corner of the room except for the seat right next to his own. He acted as if he didn't even notice where he was, and it had Lance's blood boiling.
"What do you think you are doing?" He asked, as he continued to eat his food as well. They had to be on the same page.
Keith looked up from his bowl, but didn't quite stare at him as he talked. He shrugged indifferently, gazing sideways.
"What do you mean?"
"What are you? A chair tester?" He pushed on, armed to the teeth "We don't need your services over here, thank you"
If Keith wasn't going to look at him as they talked, then neither was Lance. So he didn't really catch his reaction as he crossed his arms and stared plainly at the table.
"I can sit wherever I want" He shrugged, pushing Lance to the verge of patience.
"Yeah, but why here ?"
Exasperation was obvious in his voice, confusion stretched into rudeness as he tried to get a proper grasp on the situation. But Keith didn't seem willing to cooperate with his nerves right then, and did nothing but fueling the impassive fire as he turned and said:
"I'm just trying to do what's right"
The response was so dim, so guiltless and sterile from any emotion it barely sounded like a thought, but like a tailor-made stamp to press at the end of the conversation. It was the patented right thing to say, the perfect counterattack. Lance wasn't stupid. He could read through his counterproductive nature, his true intentions behind that wildcard slogan he just pulled. Some things never change, and there are wounds that neither time, nor timelines, seem to be able to heal.
No matter the reality, it was always a competition between them. A competition that Keith was currently winning, judging by the way he was still eating while Lance's stomach was tied into a knot.
"What? Getting along with me? You didn't seem so eager to keep up with the honor at that Yogurt Z planet bullshit"
He didn't raise his voice in the sightless. He tamed his anger, proving he was up for another round. If Keith wanted to act in all correctness and poise, then so would he.
But despite all his efforts, and no matter how ready he felt to deal with any possible strike, Lance certainly wasn't set for the cruelest raid of all:
"I don't know what you are talking about"
He dropped the spoon, loudly.
Again, that filthy, nauseating sensation was crawling up his gut.
For a second, he was back at Yogr Z. Chest burning with every acid breath, mind as fogged and dense as its atmosphere, no solid ground beneath his feet.
Cold, aloof eyes turning away from him.
The lump in his throat was painful to hold. Angry, nasty words were bubbling in his mouth like rabies, sealed behind his pursed lips. Silence hurt like a bitch. He wanted to scream at him, give him a piece of his mind, pin him down until he remembered , until he acknowledged his thoughts were messed up and his heart has not beat the same since then.
He had to have felt something. Lance couldn't be the only one.
Could he?
"Of course you don't know" He managed to remain composed as he stood up, taking his bowl to the washer. And he would have probably been able to keep it up until he was out of the room, if it hadn't been for the firm grip suddenly talking his arm.
Keith looked up at him from his place, grabbing hard.
"Lance"
That's all he said.
That's all it took for Lance's walls to crumble.
Anger flooded over pain, brute and anesthetizing, explosive. His chest trembled, his skin sizzled to the touch. He knew that was probably what Keith had wanted all along, to crack him, to make him snap. But as his shame muted into resentment and cholera took up his mind, he couldn't bring himself to care.
" Lance nothing!" He yanked his arm away from his grip "That's it, I'm done!"
He didn't miss the way some of their teammates' faces turned from their own conversations to stick their noses at theirs, but they didn't really seem to fighting was already more normal than not, and it had become a normal background noise by then.
But this wasn't just another one of their quarrels, and only bun Keith and Lance's double had seemed to notice.
They stared nervously at the signs of anger beginning to make their awaited appearance though Keith's stoic face.
"You are being immature"
"Oh, I'm being immature? How's that, Mr. stick-up-their-ass?" Lance pointed a finger at his chest "You keep talking like you were the teammate of the year, but when a friend needs a hand you give them your back instead"
He could see his older self opening his mouth and about to butt in, but his fiancé immediately cut him off, holding him back.
"At least I don't go around bothering everyone else with my own issues, unlike someone I know" Keith didn't seem to require any kind of backup, though, as he spilled his own fair amount of malice himself "I'm just trying to do what's best for the team!"
Lance ducked his head, taking the shot with his chest up and his posture firm. For a few seconds, no sound came out of him but a single, long exhale of his nose. By that instance everyone else in the room was already quiet and staring incredulously, but Lance couldn't find some care. He swallowed his own shame in a painful gulp, words pulling from his tongue like the leashes of a hundred rabid dogs; and, before he could stop himself, he was talking:
"The team? Oh no, angel. It has nothing to do with the team, you only care about yourself" He said, voice dry and eyes merciless as they stared right into Keith's "So you better don't lose the papers to that little shack in the middle of the desert, cause you are going to be alone for a long, long while"
And, giving no further room for discussion, he turned to storm through the door.
"Lance!" Shiro stood up, calling out for him
But it was too late.
Lance had already left, taking with him the fleet sight of a broken Keith as some kind of victory token he didn't really want.
