Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or Angel, all rights reserved Joss Whedon

Rating: 15+

Pairing: Faith/Buffy

Summary: Moments set in the wacky, fun, angst filled relationship of Faith and Buffy.

Notes: Thanks to all who read and reviewed last chapter. Send some more feedbacky love!!

19 January 2004

Faith spent 2 days in a coma, Giles, Willow and 7 Slayers turned up shortly after my confession, and took Faith and I back home.

The house/school is decked out with an entire hospital thing, and we have a couple of doctors/watchers on call. Faith had her right arm broken in 3 different places, 6 broken ribs, and some internal bleeding. By the time she woke from the coma she was well on the way to recovery. I got out pretty lucky with a broken wrist, twisted ankle and 3 broken ribs. I spent most of my time next to Faith though, waiting for her to wake up.

Once she woke up though, things just went from weird, to, well, weirder.

When she was well enough we sat and had a small talk, she brought up my confession, and I told her I meant what I said and she wasn't imagining it and her response? She said she wasn't 'Relationship Girl'.

And that was pretty much the last time we spoke, we don't slay together, our little ritual of fighting then meeting up for slaying later stopped, and she barely speaks 2 words to me.

I figured she just needed time, you know? I got that, and I was ok with that, I was happy to give her space, and understood she didn't want a relationship, I could understand that she wasn't ready.

But then announcing at my birthday party, in front of all of us, that she is in fact ready to date someone, someone who isn't this blonde slayer, but a Blonde watcher named Melissa, well that, that I don't understand.

I sit and make small talk with everyone, but after about 20 minutes I can't take anymore and make my way outside. Its not that I'm angry, I guess just a little hurt; Faith not wanting to date anyone is one thing, but Faith not wanting to date me specifically, yeah, that hurts.

I take a seat on an old tree stump that Xander has crafted as a chair and pull out a smoke from Kennedys packet on the ground, I wouldn't call me a smoker, just sometimes it sooths me to have one, makes me feel young again, reminds me of Spike. I miss him I guess, not in a romantic way, cos hotness aside – eww, but he had a knack for getting me, or maybe just listening to me. Either way, he was comforting.

I pull out my cell phone and toy with the idea of calling him, or even Angel, I miss my guys, they both called me today, and Angel sent up a gift; a couple of Slayer diaries that he found in the Wolfram & Hart library, a silver necklace, reminiscent of one he gave me many years ago, and a charcoal sketch of a couple sitting on a beach in LA, its one of the beaches that have haunted my dreams since 1998, and the couple bare a very loose resemblance to Angel and I.

I put my phone away and decide to just go back inside, I can't disappear for too long, or questions will be asked.

I feel Faith about a second before I see her exiting the door; she walks outside and puts one hand in her pocket before saying anything.

"Whatchya doin B?" She asks "The party is in there. Your party" She states matter of factly.

"I'm sure you all survived the 15 minutes without me." I say a little too bitchily "I just needed some air and to make a phone call." I say holding my phone up

I take some time to look her over, the bruises and ribs have healed, but her arm is still in a sling and she still seems injured somehow, maybe a little haunted too.

She has clearly come out here to talk to me, it's written all over her face.

"What is it Faith?" I ask directly "I'm not too fond of beating around the bush, and you clearly have something to say."

"Ok, well, I guess I'm sorry…"

"You guess you're sorry about what?" I have no intentions of making this easy for her; she must know that what she did is wrong.

"Shit B, you know sorry isn't my thing."

"Then how about I save you the time, this is how it's gonna go:

'Gee B Wicked sorry about announcing my new girlfriend at your birthday party 2 weeks after you confessed your love for me. Especially after me telling you I don't do relationships, what I really should have said was I don't do relationships with you'

How did I go?" I ask snarkily

"Well… crap… it's not… damn Buffy it isn't that simple."

"No, it is Faith, so let me save you some time, it's not ok, I'm not ok, the situation is not ok." I say steadily

"Bu…" she starts

"Let me finish. We're not OK Faith, not now, and probably not for a long time, I will get over it though and I will be ok, it will take time."

"What can I do to make it better?" she asks solemnly, making me remember for a second why I actually feel the way I feel about her, underneath it all she is a kind, sweet person. But how can she make it better? A million answers come to mind, and a million reasons as to why they won't.

I shake my head "Nothing Faith, you can't fix this." I point between us "You could make it easier by leaving me be for a while, I know it's cruel and a little unfair on you, but I can't be around you both and pretend I'm ok."

We stair at each other for a second, hurt and desperation showing in her eyes, I almost lean forward, knowing that if I did, I would be met with her lips, and for a split second everything would be ok, but then we would separate and it would be worse. Whatever it is she feels, she needs to work it out, and I need to get back to being me

As I walk past her I touch her arm briefly

"Take care Faith."

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