SOTD: "More Than This" ~Vanessa Carlton~
QOTD: "I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."
Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha do you think I'd be writing a Fan Fiction about it? Actually, you're right, I probably would. Actually, if I ever get a book published, I'll probably write Fan Fictions about it/them. But does it count as a FanFic if you're the author/creator of it? It's called Fan Fiction, after all. Can you be a fan of your own work? Yeah, you can. When it comes to writing, I think you have to be your own biggest fan and worst critic. So, anyway, I don't own InuYasha, just to clear that up...
"Damn wench, always saying that damned word and making me hit the ground. Who does she think she is? What am I, some dog she can say 'sit' to and then run along on her merry little way? Then she goes running back to that damned well without even asking me! What the hell is wrong with her anyway? I didn't do anything wrong!" InuYasha grumbled, crossing his arms and leaning back against the tree whose branch he was sitting on, shielded from the sun by the thick branches above his head. It wasn't his fault she was so damn sensitive about every little thing. Every word that came out of his mouth was wrong, and when he didn't say anything at all he was still wrong-he just couldn't win! It was bad enough he'd had that dream the night before, but then Kagome had to start in on him the second Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippou took off to find some lower level demon they'd heard about from Kaede. InuYasha would have gladly gone with them-a fight's a fight, even if it is with a weakling-but Kagome told him no, they could handle it themselves, and besides, she wanted to have a word with him in private. From the tone in her voice, everyone assumed he was in trouble-Shippou asserting this point when he started snickering as he jumped up onto Sango's shoulder so InuYasha wouldn't hit him-well, everyone but Miroku who lifted his eyebrows in curiosity and had the smirk of the lecher that he is on his face.
After the group took off, agreeing to meet the pair at Kaede's village after their job was done, Kagome turned on InuYasha with a look he was unable to read on her face. He gulped, backing into a tree as she started walking toward him. He was so sure he'd done something wrong, so positive she was about to "sit" him, that he braced himself, ready to eat the dirt yet again. But, instead, she dropped the look and sat down on the grass near where he was standing. She motioned for him to come closer, it wasn't like she was going to bite or anything, and he did, if only to prolong his suffering, for he was still sure that he'd done something wrong. He sat cautiously next to her, watching everything she did to see if he could predict when she'd say it. He was no psychic, but he was hoping maybe something in her body language would be able to tell him when it was coming so, if he couldn't avoid it, at least he could prepare himself or maybe try and talk her out of it.
"InuYasha," Kagome finally started, his name ringing like bells when she said it. Focus, baka, he scolded himself, trying to make himself forget how each syllable sounded as it rolled off her tongue. Though it wasn't that easy when she said his name as often as she did, he was sure it was almost possible. "Did you have a bad dream last night?" Her question caught him off guard-he had not been expecting that-and that obviously showed in his face, as he caught the slightest hint of a smirk of satisfaction appear on her face for a brief second before it disappeared. Still, how the hell did she know that?
"Er... Why do you wanna know?" He forced out cockily, the arrogance and don't-mess-with-me tone he always seemed to favor evident in his voice. Why did he get like that with her? He didn't want to put her off, yet at the same time he kind of did. In the back of his mind he knew she was only trying to help him out and be nice, but there was such a thing as being too nice, and he didn't deserve it. He had a bit of an ego, he would admit, but even he knew he didn't deserve to be in the company of someone like Kagome. That ego of his was merely a form of defense he'd had to forge when he was young, as was the tone in his voice when he felt like someone was pushing his boundaries too far, trying to get too close to him, and now it was just habit. He was just trying to protect himself, as was his instinct, but lately he often found himself fighting and pushing against those instincts. He'd done the same thing as a kid, then he hadn't, and now he was doing it again, though he didn't know why. Maybe one day he'd realize the truths he needed to know to set things straight with Kagome, but at the moment all he knew was that he wasn't in trouble and Kagome was about to start pushing some buttons she'd be better off ignoring.
"Well, you fell out of the tree this morning screaming and that's never happened before. Plus, you were all sweaty even though it was cool out, and you looked scared for a second before you realized I was watching you." She explained slowly, bounds of patience at her disposal. Kami, how did she do it? She was clearly agitated with him, but her voice was so level and calm, albeit a little tight.
"Why were you watching me?" Anything to avoid the topic of his dream, or nightmare, or memory, or whatever the hell it was. Anything.
Kagome's cheeks flushed a dark pink and she adverted her gaze away from InuYasha and towards the trees around them. He followed her gaze and stared at the trees as well, every crack and bump hidden among the brown bark apparent to him. Though all the flaws and problems that he saw when he glanced at it were probably invisible to Kagome's human eyesight, he felt that was part of why he felt so deeply for her and wanted to protect her from everything; while he could see all the problems and danger, she was able to over-look it all and somehow see something amazing and beautiful.
Thinking about this, he realized he could have left matters alone-clearly she didn't want to talk about why she'd been watching him and wouldn't broach the subject of his sudden awakening if she had to answer that question-but the silence that hung between them, while nice in a sense, didn't sit well with him. In a way, it reminded him of the silence he'd first experienced in his dream the night before, the vast world ringing in his ears, taunting him with its secrets and the unknown beyond his sight, his heart pounding furiously in his ears. In all honesty, he was half expecting Kagome to be swallowed up by some thick fog and for him to lose himself again in all of it. He needed to know this was real, that he was sitting next to Kagome in the middle of his forest just a stone's throw away from the well and that he wasn't still sleeping. Hell, he needed to know that all of this was real and that the whole thing wasn't just some illusion his mind had created to pass the time. For all he knew, he was still pinned to that godforsaken tree in suspended animation by Kikyou's arrow. For all he knew, he was dead and this was his punishment for everything horrible he'd ever done in his lifetime. For all he knew, Kikyou's arrow had killed him that day.
Ugh, when had he become so damn crazy? Well, they say stupid is catchy, so the same thing might be said for crazy, too, he just thanked his lucky stars he hadn't caught stupid yet…
"Seriously, I want to know why you were watching me." He pushed, not being in the state of mind to watch Kagome's body language as he'd previously done when he thought he was in trouble.
"Why does it matter?"
"Because it's not your job to watch me, it's my job to watch you, to protect you." Physically, she retracted slightly, and InuYasha took note of that, wondering why-had he said something that upset her? Well, he normally didn't have to try very hard to do that, and when he did upset her, he didn't always know why.
Silence fell on them once again, only this time the pair stared at each other, an argument was clearly bubbling beneath the surface, the only question was who was going to set it off first, and the answer was obvious.
InuYasha felt a burning sensation course through-out his body that he only ever felt when he was around Kagome like this, so close and so alone. His skin felt like it was burning up from the inside out, like he could burst into flames at any given second despite the Robe of the Fire Rat he wore. Though it wasn't an entirely bad feeling-He liked it. He liked knowing he could still feel, and he liked knowing she got a reaction other than disgust out of him, unlike in the beginning when all he felt for her was disgust and hatred. Though that quickly wore off after he realized she was completely different from Kikyou, he still remembered what it felt like to cringe and physically grimace at every word she said, and he didn't want to find himself doing that again. Of course, he could never tell her any of that, but it was enough for him to know.
"What was your bad dream about? I won't laugh, I promise." Kagome assured him suddenly.
"I... No, it was nothing. Just some stupid shit I did in my past. Forget about it." He mumbled. Why had he wavered? For a second there he was actually going to tell her. But no, he couldn't. She wouldn't understand.
"I will not. Come on, InuYasha, if I had a bad dream I'd tell you about it."
"So?"
"Don't you "so" me. Just tell me."
"No. Kagome, just leave it alone." He insisted, adamant. He felt that burning sensation turn in his blood and felt the anger rising within. He would try and stay calm, try and get off topic, try and not yell at her...
"Why can't you just let me in?" She yelled suddenly, her voice cracking and her eyes glazing over with tears as she stood to her feet. InuYasha jumped slightly at her tone and more so at the look on her face and stood up as well, it was one of sadness, yet at the same time limitless anger, and he did not like that one bit. Still, her yelling at him sent his blood afire with the anger he felt coming on mere moments ago. So now they were going to play this game, huh? Fine, she could have it her way.
"What are you talking about? I always let you in!" To be honest, he didn't even know what the hell she was talking about, but he assumed she was wrong and that he did in fact always let her in.
"No, you don't! You never want to talk to me about anything! And when you do it's always Shikon no Tama this! Jewl Shard that! Kikyou, Kikyou, Naraku! God, I tell you everything the least you could do is tell me this one little thing! It's not gonna kill you or anything!"
But it just might, he wanted to say, it just might. He lived that moment every day after it happened and now he was dreaming about it; He didn't know if he'd be able to handle telling the story, repeating it out loud, especially to Kagome. What would she think of him if he did tell her? Nothing good, that much he was sure of.
"Just leave it. Alone." He seethed through clenched teeth.
"No! Would you stop being so stubborn? Two minutes, that's all it would take you! Two minutes and then I'll drop it!"
"No you won't! You won't even drop it now!"
"Why are you being so damn stubborn? What are you afraid of? If you did something bad it's okay; it was a nightmare. It doesn't mean anything." her voice was suddenly soft as she tried soothing him momentarily, but then she must have remembered she was mad at him, as her face got hard and she resumed screaming at him. "Just tell me!" She couldn't leave him thinking she was going to get over this so quickly, not that he needed to be reminded of that; he knew she could hold a grudge when it came to him and his idiocy and he always had at least one bruise to prove it. But that never stopped him from being an idiot before, so why should it now?
"No! Forget it, wench!" He crossed his arms and turned slightly, he was past the point of caving in and telling her, he just wanted her to leave it, and him, alone for a minute.
"Sit boy!" Kagome yelled, crossing her own arms as he was hurled to the ground face first. Damn, he should've seen that coming; when he starts yelling at her, she starts sitting him. He leapt up and the arguing intensified, heated words being thrown back and forth, neither willing to back down and apologize for surely it was the other's fault. Eventually, Kagome grew tired of the back and forth exchange-her words stung him and his words stung her; there was not going to be a winner here-and "sat" him one last time before running off with her backpack and jumping into the well to go back to her own time, muttering the standard "I'll be back in three days," before she did so.
InuYasha stared after her for a moment, wondering if he should go after her. Recalling the look on her face, he thought better of it. And anyway, if he went after her she'd want an apology and it was so not his fault! He had warned her, now hadn't he? He told her to back off and leave it alone, but she didn't listen. No, he wasn't going to apologize until she apologized. He jumped up into the tree then, and began grumbling to himself, bringing us to this moment, when he sat leaning against the tree, replaying it all over and over in his head. Yes, he could have avoided the whole argument, had he just left things alone. And to think, he'd ruined one of the rare moments they had alone together on this side of the well in a long, long time.
He let out a sigh and let his eyes fall closed, nothing for him to do now but sit there and think. But he didn't want to think. He didn't want to think about the argument they'd just had and he certainly didn't want to think about the "dream" he'd had the night before. It was true what Kagome had said, he had fallen out of the tree screaming that morning and he had been drenched in sweat, but he couldn't bring himself to explain why.
It was just too much.
Everything he worked so hard for these last few years would be meaningless if she found out what a monster he could be even in his half-demon form. And all those emotions he kept bottled up until all he was left with was anger would come uncorked and he'd have to face them; he didn't want to face them, because he didn't know how. All he could do was hit things with his fists and cut things down with his sword, that was all. He wasn't good at putting into words how he felt about anything else. If he was happy his smiles looked a bit like smirks if he was around anyone other than Kagome. If he was sad he couldn't cry and he couldn't explain why he was upset because getting upset over something shows what you care about, which shows weakness. And if he had feelings for someone-not that he did-he really couldn't tell anyone because... Well, he just couldn't.
InuYasha shook his head and tried clearing it of all thoughts; nothing he had to think about right now could bring him to any peaceful conclusions, so why bother?
After a while, he just sat there in a state of meditation, breathing deeply and not thinking about anything in particular. He opened his ears a bit more than usual and heard and sensed everything around him. The tree he was sitting on, the animals that ran around the forest-all being sure to avoid his demonic aura-the air that blew around him, he was aware of everything except his own stupidity.
Which is why he was so surprised when he suddenly sensed a very strong, very angry demonic presence approaching him fast. His eyes snapped open and he jumped down onto the ground in defense mode with his sword drawn and ready to go, waiting for the bastard to get close enough so he could make his move and finish this before it even started. Guess it's a good thing Kagome and I stayed behind and she ran off to the other side of the well. InuYasha mused to himself, clenching his teeth together and revealing his fangs. He had a feeling whoever or whatever he was about to fight was not going to go down without a thorough fight, and he was more than happy to give that to them. He didn't even entertain the notion that maybe this thing-whatever it was-wasn't after him; somehow he just knew it was, and he couldn't question that instinct.
Suddenly a blur flew by him on his right side and he felt a slight pressure on his cheek, he put his hand up to it and when he pulled it back it came away with blood. He cursed under his breath and turned in the direction it had gone in; surely it would come back-Why toy with a guy like that if you didn't plan on fighting him? Again, a blur flew by him, this time on his left, and he felt pressure on his left cheek. He didn't have to put his hand to his face to know he was bleeding on that side as well now; he wasn't a total idiot, not when it came to fighting. Plus, with that nose of his, he could smell the blood.
"Damnit!" He hissed as the blur flew by yet again, leaving yet another gash in his skin. "Would you just hold still so I can kill you?" He yelled, jumping up as the blur flew by yet again. What was this thing? And why was it targeting him? As far as he knew he hadn't pissed anyone off who moved that fast. Well, aside from that wolf pup Koga, but, even with the Shikon shards, not even Koga moved that fast. All he'd been doing was sitting up in the tree, trying to waste time until he was calm or found something to do. He hadn't been out terrorizing local villages or screwing with other demon's mates or anything, so what the hell?
"Now, now, InuYasha," A voice cackled, Kagura suddenly materializing above his head. He growled as he glanced up, the blur running by yet again, only this time it didn't hit him, it giggled in his ear, a giggle that sent him back fifty plus years. A shiver went down his spine as his mind made the connections, Kameko would giggle like that at him when they were younger and he was acting all holier-than-thou, so young and carefree and knowing. He shook his head, why would Kameko be anywhere near this forest, this village? And why would she attack him? Yeah, ok, he probably had it coming, but she didn't move that fast, not when he last saw her, anyway. Granted, she'd always been faster than him, but he'd always been able to see her, could she have been holding back? Wait, what the hell was Kagura doing there? "If you tell your opponent you plan on killing them, do you really think they're going to slow down and give you that chance?"
"Kagura," InuYasha hissed, the hair standing up on the back of his neck. The forest around him was suddenly still-not even the blur was moving, but where was it? He couldn't sense any demonic auras now-not even Kagura's-and he couldn't smell any nearby demons either, but why? "What the hell do you want? I suppose Naraku's got something to do with this." He offered his face towards her, his ears turning and surveying the surrounding forest.
"Oh, nothing gets by you, now does it?" Kagura smirked down at him. He let out a growl, though he'd been all fired up and ready for a fight just moments ago, suddenly he wasn't much in he mood. Something in the back of his mind told him this was not a fight he wanted to be involved in, and he believed it. The only problem was he couldn't exactly run away; he didn't want word getting around that he was a wuss or anything. And even if he didn't mind people-demons, Naraku,-thinking of him as weak, where would he go? Kagura found him here, so anywhere else he went she'd just find him again. And he couldn't go to Kagome's time either, not when she was already so pissed at him like she was. Damn, he'd just have to deal with Kagura and the bastard she brought along with her to fight him. How bad could it be; how bad could it get?
"What the hell do you want?" He repeated, like maybe putting a little extra growl in the demand would get her to offer up the information.
"Ooh, someone's cranky. Well, here's an old play-mate to help cheer you up." She let out a laugh as InuYasha turned his head. Somehow, he was now able to sense Kagura's demonic aura again, he was able to smell her, and he was able to sense and smell the blur that had just scratched both sides of his face. His mouth fell open as the blur came to a stand still right in front of him. Long silver hair, silver dog ears, long claws, exposed fangs, the only thing missing was the purple eyes, and instead of purple, her eyes were blood red, a clear indication that something was wrong. She had a sheathed sword at her waist, and a red haori on, covering up the rest of what she was wearing. Her smell and her energy seemed the same as he remembered it to be, though her demonic energy seemed to be triple what it should be, he was still sure it was her.
"Meko."
Don't you just love it when Kagome and InuYasha fight? I find it amusing.
I wanted to get this chapter up a few days ago, but Tuesday was my little brother's tenth birthday, Wednesday my older sister had a friend over so I couldn't do anything then, and yesterday I barely had time to run it through the spell check.
I wanted to describe in this chapter what Kameko was wearing, but I'm not one hundred percent sure what she'd be wearing, so that's going to have to wait until a later chapter. I'm doing a bit of research, trying to figure out just what women wore back then. I know it depended on their social status, you know, what kind of family they were born into, who they married, and what they did and everything, I'm just trying to figure out just what she would be wearing. I have a pretty clear indication of her character and what she's like, I just need to... I need a chart, basically. When it comes to stuff like this I work best if I have a chart to look at. So I have to do some more research then make a chart out of the information I find. I guess I know what I'm doing Monday morning...
So peace out,
~Hisa-Ai~
