Promises of Tomorrow

Chapter 4

Sleeping In (and Fucking Up)

"Kurt… Kurt can you hear me?"

Kurt snuggled in closer to Dave's body. His arm draped over his torso, and Dave's fingertips dragged up and down his back. He could easily stay wrapped up in that man's arms forever.

"We should probably get cleaned up," Dave said in a low rumble. Kurt could only burrow his nose deeper into his husband's chest hair. He closed his eyes.

"I don't wanna," he said like a petulant child. "Too sleepy."

"Kurt, if you can hear me I need you to open your eyes for me."

"What about dinner?" Dave asked.

"Just a few more minutes, David," Kurt offered. "This is nice. I missed this. Not that I would change anything."

"Kurt, my name is Doctor David Karofsky and…"

"So you wouldn't change… Anything?" Dave asked, curiously Kurt looked up.

"Well…"

Kurt opened his eyes. His entire body ached and his head felt full and fuzzy. He couldn't have moved even if he tried. But somewhere on his body, despite his pain, he felt a small amount of warmth as somebody took his hand. At least, he was pretty sure it was his hand.

"Kurt…"

He had trouble making out the source of the noise. It was so bright. He had never been in a room so bright. He felt like he was dying. Maybe he was supposed to go towards the light. That's what he had always heard.

"You're in the hospital, Kurt." A large, shadowy form hovered above him. It took a while for this… thing… To come into focus. And when it did he realized it was a person… A man… Wearing some sort of visor and mask. He made himself focus on the soft, comforting green eyes staring at him, as well as the reassuring grip on his hand.

"You were involved in a really bad accident. But we're going to take care of you, okay." The man told him. If he could just get the pain to stop, he would be his his hero.

Despite the world of pain he was in, something told Kurt he could trust this man… He knew this man. And he knew he was going to be okay.


Kurt blinked as a ray of warm sunlight hit his face. He moaned contentedly as he remembered where he was. The fluffy sheets and pillows had an familiar scent that he couldn't place, but if was homey and comforting he knew exactly who it belonged to as he closed his eyes and let his memories from the previous night unfold. The walk back to the apartment. Dave on his knees enthusiastically giving him the best blow job of his life before slowly opening him up, alternating between his thick fingers and his warm, wet tongue until Dave was certain he would be ready for his cock.

Kurt shivered. Not from the cold but the thought of Dave and how hard he had gotten from the mere preparation before entering him with such care and consideration. It was perfect. It was slow, but not painstakingly so. Just enough to make him tremble and moan at the thought of Dave wanting to savor every moment. Every thrust and gasp until they were slick with sweat, sticky, and utterly spent.

It was everything he dreamt it would be.

Kurt heard footsteps padding around the room, and he smiled. Sitting up and stretching his arms high above his head.

"Good morning."


Dave froze at the sound of Kurt's voice. He had been searching in his armoire for something to wear when he heard a gentle yawn, not unlike the one he heard when Kurt had woken up to him sitting in the hospital.

Fuck. What was he thinking?

"Wow, it's early," Kurt said when he didn't respond. Dave could feel the panic rising in his throat like bile. He had slept with Kurt. This was bad. This was really, really bad. Sure he hadn't been drunk or even tipsy when he and Kurt had been flirting at the bar, but the alcohol had definitely taken the edge off. He doubted he would have been as brazen to sleep with a former patient if he hadn't been drinking a little bit of liquid courage.

"Do you usually wake up at this time?"

Dave slipped on the plain, navy blue shirt that he was holding in his hands. He knew he would have to turn around eventually, but that would mean seeing Kurt in his bed. The way he talked. It was so… Easy.

So marital.

"Not a morning person. I see. That's fine." Kurt mumbled. Dave closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He couldn't do this. It was a mistake. He should have told Kurt outright that he wasn't looking for a relationship—thirty years old or not. The image of a toddler swam in front of his eyes as he struggled to calm down. He had never planned on having kids. Never planned on getting married. Did Kurt expect these things from him? Is that why he had talked him up the night before? Because whatever Kurt had seen in his dream was what he expected from Dave? Some little puzzle piece that he thought was useful enough to complete a larger picture?

"Do you think you could get dressed, I have to be out the door in twenty minutes," Dave said numbly. His voice was raspy and he hoped he could play it off as being a product of having just woken up.

It was a lie.

He had nowhere to be. But he couldn't imagine having an episode in front of Kurt. He couldn't be here. He was already having a hard time breathing. He just wished he could reach into his chest and surgically remove whatever it was that made him feel this way. Made his heart pound, his face flush, and spine tingle with a cold chill. He rested his hands on the armoire, wanting very much to disappear. He wished, now, that he did have a job to go to. It had always been his one outlet. It kept his mind off the very real turmoil that spread throughout his body like a poison. With nothing to do now, he was stuck. And he was scared. What would Kurt expect from him? He was just thankful that he somehow managed to neglect to tell him he wasn't working at Reagan anymore. At least he had an excuse.

"Oh… Yeah. Sure." Kurt sounded disappointed, if not saddened, by the prospect of having to leave.

Being kicked out was more like it.

"Hey, maybe I could leave with you and we could get coffee on the—"

"I don't have time to get coffee. I'm running late because you decided to sleep over."

'Dammit. Please just leave,' he thought bitterly. He couldn't do this right now. He covered his face with his hands. And exhaled sharply. To Kurt, he probably sounded angry and frustrated, but in all honesty… He was suffocating.

"Well, you easily could have said something when you were rolling off of me last night." Dave could hear the disdain in his voice followed by the sound of the bed creaking as he got out of it. "Or we could have done this some other time. When you wouldn't be a complete ass the next morning. Perhaps you could have warned me of that."

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

"I didn't realize I was required to tell a one night stand every aspect about my life," Dave grunted as he moved towards the bathroom, hating himself more and more. Kurt already hated him, so what did it matter.

"One night stand?" Kurt said, deadpanned and breathless like he had just been delivered a heavy blow. Dave turned on the faucet and filled his hands up with cool water and splashed his face just as he felt his eyes begin to sting. "Do you usually tell one night stands about your family and your life? All that stuff I told you about my dad and my mom and my ex… Why are you acting like…?" Dave turned off the water just as Kurt trailed off. As he dried his face he could hear Kurt utter three syllables to himself.

"Oh my God…"

Dave let the towel fall on the edge of the sink. Slowly he emerged from the bathroom to see Kurt standing at the foot of the bed. The already put his pants and shirt on from the night before. His arms hung limply at his side and his eyes were full of disbelief. "You lied to me didn't you?"

Dave couldn't do anything besides stare at Kurt. He felt sick.

"You did see something. And you lied to me about it, because…" Kurt narrowed his eyes.

"I don't understand what it is that you want from me," Dave said with irritation. "We met up at the bar, we had a few drinks, we flirted, and we had sex. I don't know what you're expecting."

Kurt puffed his chest, indignant.

"I don't expect anything from you other than respect and maybe a little bit of compassion, considering your line of work. To treat me like a human being not some stray dog you picked up off the street. Obviously you seem to be lacking both towards me." Dave took a step towards Kurt.

"You don't know me. I'm not your friend. I hardly your acquaintance. Just because I was able to resuscitate you in the emergency room only means that I did my job right."

"I'm a doctor," he continued. "I get paid for what I do. My patients are my priority, so I'm so sorry you're not my patient anymore and it's not my job to worry about you." It scared him how good he was getting at lying to Kurt.

"Oh… Right. Because you only care about people who pay for your salary, right?" Surprisingly, Kurt's acrid words actually stung. He certainly didn't become a doctor for the pay. He loved being able to help people. And the financial debt he was in due to student loans was a testament to that.

"You don't know anything about me."

"You keep saying that," Kurt said shrilly. His fists were clenched in frustration and his face was red. It was likely they were mirror images of each other at this point. "But I know what I saw in—"

"Whatever the hell it was you saw in that stupid dream was not real. I am not that person. I'm not your husband and I'm never going to be your husband, and the sooner you realize that the better." Dave was breathing heavily and he took a staggering step back. He might as well have punched Kurt. He might have looked less pained at physical violence than his biting words full of vitriol. "You have no idea…" Dave whispered. He might have just woken up, but he felt so tired and completely drained.

Kurt wasn't done though.

"What did you see?" Kurt asked softly. Dave crossed his arms protectively in front of him.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" Dave asked, his voice full of desperation. "To everybody? It's not real. That wasn't… You would never…"

Kurt gave a wet laugh. His eyes were red, like he was doing everything he could to keep from crying on the spot. He was so strong—stronger than he would ever be.

"What are you so afraid of? That it's just going to happen over night?" Kurt threw his hands into the air. "That you're just going to wake up and it will be four years from now and you're going to have a kid-"

"Stop." Dave could feel his breath catch in his chest. What was Kurt trying to do to him? Kurt didn't stop there, though. He was already on a roll, and only kept going regardless of Dave's plea.

"And a husband that loves you. And for once, in your miserable life, you're happy."

"What if I didn't want any of that?" Dave demanded, nearly shouting over him. He was certain he would be hearing from his downstairs neighbors later. "What if the married, perfect little white picket fence life wasn't what I would have picked out for myself?" It was hard to want to plan for the future when he was constantly stuck, just trying to get through the day. "You think that some little dream you had can tell you all that you need to know about me. Well, you don't."

Kurt gathered himself, standing tall his chin jutting out.

"I don't know," he said. Though his voice was dangerously calm, his lip trembled and his body shook with barely contained rage. "I think I gained quite a bit of perspective."

"You…" Dave started to say, but Kurt cut him off.

"I wasn't talking about the dream. I was talking about these past five minutes. I think… No. You know what. I'm not going to attempt to psychoanalyze you. You're the doctor, after all, right?" Kurt laughed bitterly. "And I'm just the lowly magazine intern—just a paycheck and a piece of ass for once night. You're right, Dr. Karofsky. That wasn't you."

Dave felt like he'd been slapped. The psychoanalysis part hitting him especially hard.

"You need to leave," Dave said quietly looking at the corner of the desk so he wouldn't have to see the expression on Kurt's face. Whether he was hurt or livid. He didn't really care. At this point he didn't know who he was more mad at—himself for being such a belligerent asshole or Kurt for expecting so much from him.

"With pleasure," Kurt said with a sniff and Dave could almost imagine the tears finally running down his ruddy cheeks. "And thanks for the early birthday present, by the way." Before he could even look up, Kurt was charging through the bedroom door to Dave's left. Dave stayed glue to the spot until he heard the door open and slam shut.

Dave shuffled to the right side of the bed where a piece of out-of-place black fabric caught his eye.

Kurt's neckerchief.

Dave collapsed on the bed trying to understand what had happened and why he felt so adamant in pushing Kurt away. And when his birthday was coming up? Dave could only bury his face in his hands. For the first time since he was eighteen years old Dave wept. He knew, deep down, nothing had changed. He was the same scared little boy he had always been.